A Painful Choice

A/N: I would like to thank my wonderful Beta Ree. Thank you for your help. Thanks to everyone that took the time to read and review. I am grateful for your input and Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Chapter Six

Snape hid his consternation as he saw all the bodies surrounding Potter’s bed when he entered the infirmary. Harry was awake, propped up with pillows, and looking back and forth between the two redheads as they spoke. He looked somewhat tired of all of the attention, but otherwise in fine health.

Minerva walked over to Severus when she saw him enter. He scowled at her menacingly. “I asked you to call Poppy not take out an ad in the bloody Quibbler.”

“Now Severus, you know that I didn’t do that. Poppy was visiting St. Mungo’s and Molly overheard our conversation. The Weasleys are the closest thing to family that Harry has. I couldn’t very well forbid them from coming to see him when he is ill.”

Severus thought idly about commenting on the various ways she could have done just that, but decided that it was more important to attend to Harry than bicker with Minerva. Walking over to the bed he was relieved to see Poppy come out from her office and start shooing all of the vermin away from her patient. His relief was short lived as the Weasleys moved away and he was left with the sight of Draco Malfoy holding Harry’s hand and gently stroking his forearm. He tried valiantly to squelch his anger at the sight but failed miserably as his features twisted into a scowl.

He saw out of the corner of his eye as Harry’s features tightened in what looked to be pain and he forcefully thrust down any negative emotion. He was suddenly filled with guilt, as he realized that it was his emotions that were adversely affecting Harry’s health. He handed Madam Promfrey the vial of potion that he was holding and told her that Harry would need to take half a vial once a day.

He risked one last look at the young man on the cot before turning in a swirl of black robes and leaving the infirmary. He paused outside of the doors at a loss as to where to go. He wasn’t sure that it would be a good idea to go back to Grimmauld Place, but he didn’t really have anywhere else to go.

In the end he decided to return to Harry's house. He paced in the study trying to understand what was happening to him. He seemed to be unable to control his emotions around Potter. Something about seeing Draco on Potters lap had snapped something within him. He knew he should be either indifferent to their fling or concerned for Draco’s welfare, but he was angry. He couldn’t remember the last time when he had felt this out of control.

He had to admit, at least to himself, that he was attracted to Golden Boy, but what Slytherin wouldn’t want someone as beautiful and powerful as Potter. When he thought about it, he had been fine with seeing Potter cavort with the late Miss Weasley or any other female for that matter. It was after all one thing to want something unattainable and quite another to see that you may have let your chance slip away.

He smiled at his own pathetic desires and finally let himself grieve briefly for the man that he could have been. He tried to come to terms with the fact that his mistakes had led him here and realized that he could no more embrace the valiant Gryffindor than he could undo his youthful decision to join the Death Eaters. Redemption was a harsh mistress and he bowed to her whims.

Having come to grips with his own delusions he found it easier to simply relax. He spent the rest of evening in the library researching what he could about sudden absorption of power. He would give Harry the only thing that he could, his knowledge of potions. He wanted to offer so much more, but he now realized that he could not. He would have enjoyed turning the boy who lived into a man that could, if he so chose, rule the world. He would never be a social butterfly himself but he knew the dynamics of a strong leader. He could see the potential in the powerful, handsome and valiant young man.

Sighing deeply, he recognized that Draco could provide everything that he could, and more. Draco was young, attractive, highly intelligent, and political by both birth and nature. He knew how to create a persona that others looked up to. It seemed obvious that Harry James Potter would have to take a leadership role in the rebuilding of the Wizarding world, but he would need all the help he could get to acquire support within the aristocracy. Who would be better prepared for that than the young Lord Malfoy.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he made a painful choice. He decided to support Draco’s claim to the man that he wanted beyond all else. He continued to read until he found an improved dampening potion and mentally worked out how he could add improve it’s potency while also adding ingredients that would help Harry’s body adjust to the increase in energy faster and with less pain.

When his eyes grew weary he put away the book and his notes and headed to his room. He dressed for bed and carefully blanking his mind, he fell into a deep untroubled sleep.


He woke to Dobby gently shaking his shoulder. “Mister Snape should come to breakfast, sir.”

Snape nodded absently to the small creature and made his way to the bathroom. He would have to tell the creature that he didn’t need breakfast every morning and he really dislikes waking before he was ready.

He entered the kitchen feeling much better than he had for some time. He was mildly surprised to see Potter sitting at the kitchen table with a plate of food and his morning tea. “I didn’t expect you to be back so soon.” He greeted at he made his own tea and sat across from the younger man.

“It is nice to see you this morning too.” Harry smiled softly. “I am told that I have you to thank for the dampening potion. How did you know that I needed it?”

“Dumbledore.”

He could see the emotions battling for domination on Harry’s face with the mention of the old wizard. It was fascinating to watch the mask fall back into place as he composed himself. “So you spoke to him.”

It hadn’t been a question, but Snape felt the need to answer none the less. “You were unconscious and I needed to know what was causing the problem. Now that I understand the situation better, I will brew you an improved version to take with you on your holiday. If it works as planned it should help your body acclimatize faster to its new condition.”

“Thank you. How long will I need to take the potion? I am not going on a holiday, I am moving away.”

Snape felt as though he had been slapped. Moving away? Falling back on his main defence mechanism, Snape sneered at the former Gryffindor. “I could try to teach you to brew it yourself, but you would probably blow yourself up. I will make you enough to last a couple of months and bring you a fresh supply every so often.”

Harry smirked at the insult. “I am not as incompetent as you seem to believe. I have managed not to blow myself up several times since last we met. I will, however, acknowledge that potions is not my forte. If you believe that this potion is beyond my ability then perhaps I could pay you to brew it for me and have Hedwig come to collect it. I wouldn’t want to put you out any more than is necessary”

Snape was extremely irritated at the change in plans but could not come up with a logical reason why he would need to deliver the potion in person. “Very well.” In spite of his earlier determination he couldn’t help but sit out: “I am sure that Draco could be persuaded to deliver them when he visits you”.

Potter looked up sharply at the comment. “Why would Draco come to visit me?”

Snape raised an eyebrow at the question. “I was under the impression that you and he were exploring a relationship.”

Harry looked embarrassed and turned a lovely shade of rose. “We are not exploring anything. I am not gay.”

Snape tried not to feel relief at hearing that Harry didn’t want a relationship with Malfoy. “I did not mean to pry into your private life. I am a bit confused as to what your being unhappy has to do with what you are or are not exploring with Draco.”

“Unhappy?” Harry looked puzzled and then even more embarrassed. “Muggles use the term Gay to mean homosexual. I meant that I am not into blokes.”

If he didn’t have such strong self control, Snape would have laughed. “I see. Well in the wizarding world most witches and wizards find both sexes attractive. In the end most settle down with someone of the opposite gender to marry and create heirs. We don’t really have a term like that. There would not be any shame in having a relationship with Draco until one or both of you found someone to marry.”

“Oh.” Harry seemed to be assimilating the new information. “What happens if two blokes fall in love then? I mean, do they just dump each other and find some witch to mate with?”

Severus felt like he was having ‘the birds and bees talk ‘ several years too late. “I am hardly the most appropriate person to be having this discussion with, Potter. I am sure that one of your many friends or admirers would be pleased to share with you the mating habits of wizards.”

“The hordes aren’t here at the moment so perhaps you could be persuaded to share your infinite knowledge.” Harry laughed.

Rolling his eyes, Severus tried to decide how to respond. “Most of the time they do find a witch to marry. Children are highly prized in the wizarding world. Families like the Weasleys are rare. Most couples only have one or two children so there is a lot of pressure to produce at least one heir. The two wizards in question might continue a liaison discreetly after marriage, or they might cut ties entirely. Some do stay together in spite of the social stigma attached to being unwed, but it not frequent.”

“Thank you. I think that I will avoid that little choice altogether and stay away from wizards.” Harry smile at Snape and swallowed the last of his tea. “Ron is going to wake today so I will be at St. Mungo’s if you need me. I will be back for dinner.” With a wave he left the kitchen.

Severus put his head in his hands and sighed. He had really cocked that up. It almost didn’t occur to him as berated himself, that Harry should not have any way of knowing when Ron would come out of his coma.

TBC