Never Said Goodbye

Warnings: Slash, m-preg, rape, child abuse, lots of angst

DISCLAIMER: Don't own the characters. No money being made from this.

Status: Not complete!

Harry heard Draco get up a few times during the night. He wanted to talk to him and find out what was going on, but he had a sinking sensation it was his fault for bringing Draco's parents to their home.

It had been four days and Lucius had informed them the morning after their arrival that they're home was being remodeled and he wanted to spend some time with his son. Narcissa hadn't looked well the next morning and Draco couldn't bring himself to insist they leave.

Harry was stunned at how he had missed the slight control Lucius had over Draco yet and had asked Dudley to stay as well to give Draco some company while he was at work.

Dudley agreed and hoped to learn more about the wizarding world.

But the days had passed and Harry wasn't working today. He was going with Draco to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy was going well.

Draco just stared in the mirror. Something was off. He just wasn't sure what. He shook it off as Harry came up behind him.

"Hey, no long faces, okay? There's nothing to worry about," Harry said softly.

"I don't know about that. Something feels strange. I'm sure it's nothing."

Harry nodded. "Let's just get to the doctor and put these feelings to rest."

The two of them left, hoping Dudley would stay clear of the Malfoys, and arrived at the doctor's office within 15 minutes.

The wait was considerably longer and Draco began to fidget and finally he broke into nervous laughter. "This is so stupid, but I have this weird fear that I'm going to walk in there and they're going to tell me I'm not pregnant at all."

Harry smiled. "I think we know you're pregnant. That test isn't a fluke."

"Maybe."

Before Draco could continue to talk about his fears, they called his name and he insisted on going in alone.

Something was nagging him and he just couldn't have Harry there to hear the news. He kept telling himself he was being stupid.

But then the nurse came in after running tests and looked like she didn't want to tell him what she had to.

"Well....I'm not getting a positive test result."

She proceeded to show him the test strips and didn't notice the tears begin to pool in his silver eyes.

He just sat there, numb and lost as to what type of a response was appropriate at the moment.

She talked to him about coming back and everything else and he just nodded and left.

When he saw Harry, he just shrugged. "It was negative."

Harry frowned and hurried to catch up to Draco who was already out the door. "Wait...what?"

"Negative. I don't get it. I'm not pregnant? I was pregnant a few days ago? What did I do? I was pregnant and now I'm not?"

Harry noticed Draco was beginning to ramble and wasn't sure how to help so he just tried to rub his back gently. "Okay. Just don't worry about a thing. We'll figure out what's going on."

"Nothing's going on. I lost it."

"Lost it?"

"I was pregnant. We saw that damn test. Now I'm not pregnant. Something changed and our baby is dead because my body did something to it."

Harry wanted to cry for his lover, but he knew he had to keep his hopes up for a bit longer.

The trip home was spent in silence with Harry absently rubbing Draco's knee.

Before they walked in the house, Draco took off again.

"Draco!"

"I need to walk. I'll be back."

Harry was torn. He wanted to go after him, but he also knew Draco really needed privacy sometimes so he walked in by himself.

Dudley came downstairs after hearing Harry yell outside. The Malfoys were nowhere to be seen.

"Harry?" His look grew concerned as he took in the defeat in Harry's posture. "The baby?"

Harry shook his head. "He's not pregnant anymore."

Dudley sighed and wrapped his arms around Harry. "Oh God...I'm so sorry."

Harry let himself be comforted for awhile and then stepped back. "I don't know what to do. We were so happy. This appointment was supposed to be a formality."

"They're sure?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't let me in with him." Harry was interrupted by Draco coming in the door with a bag and racing up the stairs. Harry and Dudley heard a door slam and then nothing.

"Dudley, would you mind if I-"

"Not at all."

Harry walked up the stairs slowly, trying to figure out how to deal with the loss of their child when he heard Draco cry out.

Lucius and Narcissa opened their door just as Harry raced by and pounded on the bathroom door.

"Draco? Please let me in! Please? I'm worried..."

Lucius and Narcissa stood back and waited as the door slowly opened.

With his eyes red-rimmed, he shook his head. "I thought they were wrong so I took another test here." He shrugged one shoulder. "Negative."

He exchanged a look with Harry, letting him know they shared the pain, but then walked over to his mother and let her envelop him in her arms.

Harry didn't mind since he'd allowed Dudley to do that earlier.

Narcissa rubbed Draco's back and shushed him quietly. Soon enough, Lucius decided to retreat to his room and Harry sat down on the bed, not sure what he could do to help.

Eventually, Draco kissed his mother's cheek. "Thanks. I need to talk to Harry, though."

Narcissa smiled sadly and kissed her son's forehead before leaving.

Draco turned and looked at Harry. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"The wine..."

Harry inwardly groaned, remembering how he'd called Draco stupid. "That wasn't it. It just happened."

Draco thought about Ron's roughness with him and, later, his father's. He felt he had failed to hold onto his baby and just wanted to melt into the floor.

Instead, Harry convinced him to melt into his arms and held him there until the blonde fell asleep.

Harry settled Draco into the bed and then took a deep breath, ready to face the people who were still celebrating the coming arrival of a child who no longer existed.

TBC...

I'm so tired so I hope this is okay for now. I just wanted to update some of my much older fics, too.