Harry Potter And The Half Blood Pimp

The Next Day-



Harry drug himself to bed at four in the morning after paying Dobby and the Twins and making sure every one had gotten back to their houses safely. It had taken forty-five minutes to get the girls paid and out the secret passages the twins used to get them in. Harry had walked each girl home individually.

He only had three hours of sleep before he was awoke by the bustling of the boys getting ready for breakfast. “Fuck shit twat muther fucker!” Harry screamed as he threw a pillow at Neville. “Do you have to make so much muther fuckin noise? Shit! OW!” Harry yelped as he had rolled over onto his erection. “I was dreaming bout someone.” He yelled, as he stood up, his pant-tent obvious as he walked towards the bathroom. “You all fuckers better be out of here by the time I am done rubbing one off.”

Neville and the rest of the boys looked incredulous before rushing out of the room. Ron continued to dress slowly, obviously trying to look like a hard ass.

“Mmmm…. Hermione….”

Ron’s ears perked as he heard his friends’ name being moaned from the bathroom. Ron waited till Harry exited the bathroom, and watched in silent fury as Harry rubbed his hand on his stomach before collapsing onto Neville’s bed.

“You’re a sick fuck.” Ron grumbled as he walked out of the room.

Harry didn’t even hear him as he had already fallen asleep.



“Hermione.” Ron beckoned to her as he spied her coming down from the girls’ common room.

“Yes Ronald?” Hermione seemed slightly flushed, her eyes almost distant.

“Stay away from Harry.” Ron implored her, one hand resting on her shoulder. “He is disgusting, and I think he is… harboring sexual fantasies about you.” Ron whispered, trying to look as though he cared about her.

Hermione thought for a moment about the night before and what she had done when she had gotten back to her dorm to herself. “What makes you think he is doing that Ronald?” Hermione decided to try to play along.

“I could hear him moaning your name in the bathroom!” Ron shouted before realizing the entire dorm was watching.

Hermione felt a blush rising up her cheeks, the thought of someone touching themselves to the thought of her would normally have disgusted her, but Harry simply excited her.

“Just stay away from him. I don’t want him to rape you or something!” Ron pleaded with her.

“Can’t rape the willing.” Lavender Brown laughed from across the common room. “I could hear Hermione calling for Harry in her sleep.”

“Fuck.” Hermione thought, as she turned scarlet. “Thank God she thought I was sleeping.”

Ron turned a strange shade of purple as he once again mouthed like a fish.

“Lies!” Hermione yelped as she turned around and ran back up to her dorm room.

Just as Hermione’s dorm room door slammed shut, Harry swung the door to the male dorm open and screamed down. “Would you all shut da fuck up. Fuck! Mutha fuckas be makin so much noise I can’t even fuckin dream right!”

“Fuck you!” Ron yelled from down stairs. The entire common room went silent.

“Weasley. You brighten my morning. Fuck me! Hah!” Harry laughed uproariously. “Fuck me. Hahahaha.” The door to the boys dorm closed shut as they could continue to hear Harry laughing until he went back to bed.



Around noon Harry finally meandered down the stairs, wearing a “wife beater” (it’s a sleeveless “muscle shirt” if you don’t know) and a pair of baggy jeans. Looking around, Harry failed to find Hermione so he meandered out of the portrait hole and headed for the great hall. “I wonder if there is any food left.” He thought as he walked into the empty great hall.

“Alakhazam!” He yelled as he pointed a finger at one of the tables. Nothing happened. “Food!” He yelled again, pointing harder. “Fuck.” He groaned as he realized he could not eat outside of proper time. “I got to wait an hour.” He grumbled as he began to wander down the halls, finding himself in front of the library.

Harry entered the great library, deciding he would read a book while he waited for lunch. That is when he noticed Hermione sitting in a corner with several books piled up, her form only recognizable by her bushy hair.

Harry walked right up behind her, as he realized she was oblivious, so he slipped his hands over her eyes. “I am the thief who steals your heart in the night. Who am I?” Harry whispered into her ear, watching her go from surprised to excited in a split second.

“Harry.” Hermione whispered. “This is a library. Behave.” Her voice stern, while her eyes betrayed her excitement to see Harry.

“What cha reading?” He whispered as he pointed to the book in her lap.

“Oh this? Nothing.” Hermione replied quickly, stuffing the book in her backpack.

“Cool.” Harry accepted her reluctance to speak about her book, “ I got this.” He smiled as he handed her a book on learning to write and read. “Shit be hard, but Ima get dis stuff.” He grinned proudly.

Hermione knew the book was for children less than half Harry’s age, but her soul brimmed with pride knowing Harry was working hard to catch up with his peers. “This is a good book.” She encouraged him.

“Heh.” He smirked. He could feel his face blushing, but he accepted her encouragement. “Thanks Hermy.” He then leaned over and kissed her cheek, before standing up and leaving to read and work on his book in secret.

Hermione simply sat stunned, her hand gently pressed against her cheek. “What does this mean?” She thought, trying to figure out what she and Harry made now. “Are we a couple?” She wondered aloud.

“I would say so.” Ginny giggled as she slid up next to Hermione.

“So he is kissing you now huh?” She fluttered as she gently pushed Hermione. “Spill it! What is going on?!” Her face filled with excitement.

“Nothing. Well… May be a little something.” Hermione grinned.

“Go on!” Ginny smiled as she listened intently to Hermione’s repeat of the night before.

Unbeknownst to the girls though, Ron hid behind a bookshelf listing intently, his face turning hard as he became angry. By the time the girls were done speaking, he was charging off to fight Harry.



Harry sat by the lake, the book in one hand, piece of paper in lap, and quill in the other hand. He was slowly and painstakingly copying out of the book and attempting all the exercises. “Im gonna get dis shit.” He would occasionally exclaim as he became stumped.

Harry normally paid very good attention to his surroundings, but this time, he was concentrating so hard he didn’t notice till it was to late, Ron running up behind him.



BLAP!



Ron had taken a running start and football punted Harry in the back of the head knocking him unconscious. He then proceeded to stomp on him until he was panting for breath. “Fuck you!” Ron screamed before spitting on Harry.

Ron then grabbed Harry’s book and paper and set them ablaze using his wand. “Stay away from her. You piece of shit.” He growled as he stomped Harry one more time on the face, assuring that he broke his nose.



Harry felt weightless. “Weird mutha fuckin shit.” He spoke as he took in his surroundings. It was all white. The walls were white, the floor was white, and his clothes were white. “Ahhhh fuck. I be dead.” Harry groaned as he stomped on the floor.

“Not dead Harry.” A voice whispered from all around. “Simply in purgatory. The space between life and death.”

“Why?” Harry inquired.

“Cuz you are getting your ass beat.” A voice came from behind him.

Harry spun around only to come face to face with what looked like an older version of him.

“Who da fuck you be?” Harry yelped as he stepped back.

“I am your father Harry.” The man snickered a moment before offering his hand to him. “James Potter, at your service.”

“Harry Potter. Nice to meet you dad.” Harry choked back the tears that threatened to fall from his face as he stared into his fathers eyes.

“So you want to go back, or stay here?” James inquired.

“Mutha fucka be nuts if you think I wanna stay here.” Harry cried indignantly.

“That’s what I said. But I still ended up here. I hope your physical shell pulls through.” James replied…



Hermione whistled softly to herself the tune she danced to last night as she made her way towards the Great Hall for lunch. “I am going to save a spot for Harry.” She assured herself.

There was a bit more noise then usual coming from within the Great Hall as Hermione entered. She quickly realized Dumbledore and McGonagall were nowhere to be seen, and Snape was preparing to make an announcement.



Sonorus!

“If any one has information leading to the capture of those responsible for the attack on Mr. Potter, they will be rewarded handsomely for that information. His condition is critical and he has been taken to St. Mungos. He may not live through the night. If you had planned to kill him, your technique is sloppy.” Snape yelled over the din of the crowd.



Hermione thought she saw Ron look uncomfortable, but she couldn’t tell as she was now crying. Tears poured from her eyes in sheets as she stumbled forward to sit down. “Harry could die!” She exclaimed as she poured her tears into Ginny’s shoulder.

“He will be ok Hermione.” Ginny tried to console her. “Harry is a tough guy. He is from the streets.” Ginny assured Hermione.

“I finally find someone who understands me, and they get stolen from me! This isn’t fair!” Hermione bellowed, as the Great Hall mellowed and seemed to collapse under the weight of Hermione’s tears. The voices of no one but her could be heard as she cried and begged any God or Spirit to help Harry.

“Ms.Granger.” Snape stated as he finally walked over to her, interrupting her prayers. “Come with me.”

Ginny helped Hermione to stand and walked with her out of the Great Hall. When they reached the corridor, Snape handed her a small stone. “Simply say the word Potter, and you will be taken to see him.” His face hard, but his eyes betrayed that even he felt the fear of loosing Harry. His eyes scared Hermione, if Snape was afraid, it must be bad.

“Potter.” Hermione stated firmly, and she felt a tug behind her navel.

Ginny kicked at an invisible rock for a moment before calling to Snape. “Professor?”

Snape turned to her.

“Thanks.” Ginny whispered.

“Tell no one that I care.” Snape commanded her coldly before walking back into the Great Hall.



St. Mungos-



Hermione coughed as the sterile air permeated her lungs. Her face turned to the bed next to her, as she realized there was a vaguely human form wrapped in bandages and connected to several machines.

“Harry?” Hermione whispered as she cautiously made her way towards his bed. “Please Harry. Be ok.” She whimpered, as she got bedside, and realized that one of Harry’s eye lids was missing. His eye covered by a glass, liquid filled cup. The pupil was dilated, and it was obvious he was in some form of coma.

The only way she could tell it was Harry, was by the color of his eye. The green was still there, but it looked as though the rest of the eye was made of congealed blood.



“Ms. Granger.” Dumbledore greeted her, as he walked up behind her.

“Professor.” Hermione stuttered. “He is going to be ok. Right?” She pleaded as she stared into Dumbledore’s eyes. “You can make him ok. Can’t you?” Hermione begged.

Dumbledore looked fifty years older as he sighed. “I cannot make a promise Hermione.” He choked.

Hermione lost what composure she had, when she realized Dumbledore was crying softly. “No… No… NO!” She shouted at Dumbledore before collapsing into his arms.



Harry enjoyed speaking to his father. It was strange to only meet a man in your mind, especially when that man was your father. They talked about everything, and nothing. They discussed love, and girls, and pimping. They even talked about Hermione. Till one day James bid Harry farewell, and Harry attempted to return to his body.



Nymphadora Tonks was taking pictures of Harry’s injuries using a wizarding camera when he awoke. She had the camera very close to his face, and when the flash went off, his arm jerked and slammed the camera to the floor. Tonks screamed like hell itself had erupted.

Nurse after nurse rushed into the room, every one trying to stabilize Harry, as his return to consciousness was currently affecting his ability to breathe. The pain was so great; they had to use a potion to induce a dreamless coma for another week.



“Hermione.” Dumbledore beckoned her from the common room where she sat clutching a small teddy bear. She had taken up the habit of carrying it around after Harry had been beaten. No one had yet been captured in his attack.

“I have good news.” Dumbledore grinned as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Harry has awoken from his coma, if his blood pressure stays stable tonight, he will be expected to make at least a seventy-five percent recovery.”

Hermione’s face brightened before asking, “What is the twenty-five percent that he will loose?” Her face worried.

“He may not have function in his left leg.” Dumbledore sighed sadly.

“I will still love him.” Hermione assured herself. “I would still love him, even if he never moved again.”

“I am sure you would.” Dumbledore patted her head before dismissing her back to the common room.



Harry finally recovered from his coma, but true to Dumbledore’s worry, Harry would never use his left leg again. They installed a brace around it, and Harry simply referred to it as his “PimpWalk”.

“Ima find out who did this. You know dat shit right?” Harry asked Dumbledore one day as he performed his rehabilitation exercises, while Dumbledore looked on.

“I assure you, I have no idea of that. I will not hamper your investigation, since I know nothing of it.” Dumbledore replied, his face dark.

“Thanks.” Harry grinned a bit before grimacing as the exercise shot pain through his back and neck.



Harry had missed enough classes to not be allowed to graduate to the next grade under normal rules, but Dumbledore found a loophole that allowed him to move onwards. The staff of St. Mungos flat out refused to allow Hermione to see Harry, until he was healed.

It was a happy day for Harry when he finally returned to school. While every one ate breakfast in the Great Hall, Harry Portkeyed to the entrance to the castle and slowly but steadily drug his leg to the Great Hall.



Clink. Draaaaag. Clink…. Draaaaag.



The noise of Harry’s cane tapping the floor and then his left leg dragging echoed through the empty hallways. Slowly and deliberately he forced the double doors open and began to hobble into the Great Hall, all of the tables going silent as they finally laid eyes on Harry’s battered form.

He searched his Houses table and quickly found Hermione. Jerking his head to the side softly, he beckoned her to him.

Hermione leapt from her seat and clambered over the table, rushing to meet Harry as her shock turned to elation. “Haaaaarry!” She screamed, her face scrunched up into an enormous smile.

Harry simply grabbed onto her with his left arm and began kissing her furiously before releasing her mouth from his and limping towards an empty bench, Hermione attached to him at the hip.



“As you can see. Mr. Potter has returned!” Dumbledore announced before clapping, causing the entire school to clap. Except for Ron. “Do you have a few words for us Mr. Potter?” Dumbledore question.

Harry thought for a moment before standing. “Who ever put a price on my head. Go get a refund you mutha fucka! I ain’t dead. Ima find who fucked me up. Just you fucking wait.” Harry growled as he looked around, his eyes landing on Ron, causing him to fidget.

“Couldn’t have said it better my self.” Snape smirked, his comment only heard by Dumbledore.

“I agree Severus.” Dumbledore laughed.



For every bite of food Hermione fed Harry during breakfast, he would lick her neck or suckle her ear. Relishing her scent and touch, Harry was so happy to have someone to confide in and be grateful of life for.

“The pain was worth it.” He whispered to her. “Just to come back to you. That is why I fought.” He kissed her one more time on the neck before going back to eating.

“Oh Harry.” Hermione breathed heavily. “I have never felt so special in my life.” She thought as she watched Harry struggle with swallowing his pumpkin juice. The damage he had inflicted upon him clearly evident, even after months of healing.



After that day, Harry was always seen with the Weasely Twins, Fred and George following him around. It was well known he had paid them handsomely, and they took to wearing their “bouncer clothing” constantly.

Fred and George looked like regular animals, having cut their hair short and spiky so that a person could not grab it in a fight. They wore matching dress robes, arms torn out, with their wands in holsters. They also both wore their own respective necklace with a small green heart shaped charm on it.

Hermione now took to being at Harry’s side more often than any one had ever seen, or expected. Though the teachers were surprised to find her grades and desire to work hard increasing exponentially.

Snape continued to enjoy sneering at students. (Hey, what do you expect?)



Harry had tried to fit in, he really had. “Fuck that.” He thought, as he woke up in the morning. Harry dressed differently now. It was difficult to fit his leg brace in his normal clothing, so he had purchased a new wardrobe. He grabbed his super oversized baggy jeans and basketball jersey. Struggling to get dressed a little, he finally pulled himself off his bed and grabbed his wand.

Harry slipped his wand into his drawers in the front, as he let his pants sag down past the waistband to his boxers. He then tightened his belt up, and smirked as he grabbed his cane and baseball cap. Harry’s boxers were adorned with pictures of women in racy positions, and every one knew it.

“Harry.” Fred nodded to Harry as he waited at the private room he had been bestowed with. Dumbledore had deemed it to dangerous to stay in the dorms with the rest of the boys.

“Fred.” Harry grinned as he pulled a rather heavy bag of coins from his pocket and extricated ten shiny gold pieces. “Payday.” Harry smirked as he handed the coins to Fred.

Fred knew it wasn’t payday, Harry had paid the both of them upfront and in Gold Galleons, but he also knew Harry didn’t take kindly to people refusing when he wanted to “tip” them. “Thanks.” Fred smiled, thinking about how nice it would be when the construction of his store was finished.

“Hey Fred.” Harry startled him as he began to speak. “See anything different?” Harry inquired as he held his arms out.

“No. Wait. Is that a new necklace?” Fred asked as he scrutinized Harry.

“Fo’ sho’.” Harry grinned as he plucked the necklace out from behind his shirt, startling Fred.

“Merlin Harry! Is that what I think it is?” Fred asked in downright fear.

“Fo’ Sho’.” Harry laughed as he kissed the small black trinket at the end of the chain and placed it back in his shirt. “I would like to see a mutha fucka come at me now. Cost me a quarter of a million of dem gold coins. Worth every fuckin penny.” He laughed.

Fred simply stared before attempting to act as though everything where normal. “Does Hermione know?” he finally asked, holding his breath.

“Sho’ don’t.” Harry grinned. “I read about it over her shoulder yesterday. Had dis bitch over nighted with a special gift for her too.” He grinned, as he pulled a rather large package from within the gaping pockets of his jeans.

“What is it?” Fred inquired; his interest obviously peaked after finding out that Harry just dropped well over two hundred and fifty thousand galleons on a necklace that traps the soul of those who attack him. (Very illegal)

Harry handed the box to Fred as he pointed with one finger at the V S emblem on a pink ribbon. “Just a little sumthin sumthin that I would like to see her wear.” His eyes sparkling with mirth. “Hopefully I can talk her into wearin this stuff, seems like since I got back, she has been real scared to do anything with me any more.”

Fred just grinned as he handed the box back to Harry. “Shall we?”

“We shall.” Harry smiled.



Hermione sat in the common room of Gryffindor laughing with Ginny as they worked on what looked like an assignment. Hermione was currently laughing about a joke Ginny had said about potions and charms teachers. When she finally felt something hovering over her, blocking the light from her work.

Looking up, she realized there was a box of pink and black hovering over her. So she plucked it out of the air and looked around, only to see Harry waving his wand gently Hello at her from near the entrance.

Fred simply slunk into the shadows keeping an eye out for suspicious activity.

“What is it?” Hermione asked as she began to open the box, having bridged the gap between the two.

“Not here.” Harry grinned as he placed a hand on hers. “You may not want every one in Gryffindor seeing what I got ya girl.” He laughed. “Why don’t you go check it out in yo dorm?” He then placed a kiss on her forehead and patted her on the ass as she walked away.

Hermione simply smiled over her shoulder at him and wrinkled her nose before walking up the stairs, Ginny smiling mischievously behind her. “I want to see!” She called.