When Living Ain\'t Easy

See Prologue for warnings, notes, disclaimers and all that mess.

AN: I did warn you that some characters would start showing up as darker than canon, right? *smooch*

Chapter Five: Getting to the Point...

The Boy Who Lived got up from his seat, finally allowing a small explosion of laughter out as he summoned juice and snacks from the kitchen. When he turned back to his hosts, Harry fell into a fresh wave of mirth at the gobsmacked wizards\' expense.

\"Oh come on, people. Can\'t I make a joke once in awhile? You act as if I\'m supposed to be some sort of shrinking violet.\" Malfoy senior and Snape closed their mouths in response, leaving only the younger blond to express his shock. Harry rolled his eyes, went back to his seat, and patted his classmate\'s head before flopping back into his chair.

\"One of the first things you all need to understand is that, like any Slytherin worth his weigh in salt, I\'ve had to develop a few masks. Take Draco\'s holier-than-thou routine, for example. It\'s effective for most of our classmates -- they never bother looking beyond the surface. And they\'re fickle about any changes they have to deal with. Or Professor Snape\'s snarky git act. No offense, sir, but it\'d be alot more believable if you hadn\'t gone through so much trouble to save my sorry arse so many times. And Mr. Malfoy, you\'ve broken your charade tonight, but even before that I could see chinks in the armor. So how about giving me some credit for not being that ridiculous Golden Gryffie icon, huh?\"

The first to retrieve his bearings was Severus, who sent a withering glare at his least favored student before chuckling darkly. \"I had suspected as much, but you are so seldom found without your adoring fans for me to witness any other aspect of your persona.\"

From his position standing behind his son\'s chair, Lucius shrugged one elegant shoulder. \"This is not much of a surprise. Often times, people caught in the spotlight will hide their true face from the public.\"

Apparently, Draco had the hardest time accepting the latest information. He sat stiffly in his chair, eyes clouded with confusion as his mind tried to process.

\"And another leap of logic, I suspect that you, Mr. Malfoy, haven\'t switched sides so much as you simply want to see old Voldie defeated.\" Harry threw a wicked grin at the elder blond. \"What\'s it worth to you?\"

At the Gryffindor hero\'s brazen question, Lucius joined his son in disbelieving silence.

Visibly reverting to his professor mode, Severus clucked his tongue before admonishing, \"Mr. Potter, what would your devoted friends have to say about you blackmailing your potential instructors?\"

Another, more dramatic eyeroll. \"Pul-lease. It\'s not like they\'ll ever hear about this discussion. And even if they did, it\'s your word against mine.\" Harry lowered his head, peering up at his teacher behind thick lashes and blinking slowly. \"I could even tell them all the sordid details of how you stole my virginity, using it to boost your own dark energy in a ritual made to empower your beloved Master.\"

By the time he was done, all three Slytherins had their jaws on the floor. Harry snorted at them. \"Yeah, now who\'s the gullible one?\"

Lucius flicked his eyes away from the Boy Who Lived, sharing a questioning glance with his childhood friend. The unspoken reply -- don\'t ask me, this wasn\'t what I expected either. Further communication was broken by Harry\'s tenor voice.

\"Now, have we had enough fun at my expense? I can play most of the same games you can. So let\'s skip the shite and move along, shall we? Oh, and would one of you reattach Draco\'s lower jaw? I think it may be dislocated.\" Snickering, Harry had to make several attempts at swallowing his pumpkin juice.

\"Indeed. Lucius, perhaps we should treat young Mr. Potter as one of our House. Draco, return to your room and do try to straighten yourself out a bit.\" Issuing orders seemed to bring Snape into the present. He turned bakc to Harry with a rueful expression. \"I... must apologize, Mr. Potter. Albus did try to tell me, several times, that you had almost been placed in Slytherin. Each time, it appeared that he was simply trying to rile me. Be that as it may, you were far safer in Gryffindor.\"

Harry nodded, quickly chewing the last of his sandwich. He washed it down with a sip of juice and grinned his best devil-may-care. \"Most likely, you\'re right, Professor. My life expectancy is short enough without having to sleep with one eye open.\"

Draco returned, stumbling back to his seat looking moderately less rattled. \"Next time one of you wants to yank the rug out from under me, at least warn me to find some pillows first.\" His attempt at imitating Snape\'s glare fell short of the mark.

\"Sorry bout that, Draco, but all three of you were operating under some misconceptions that could prove dangerous.\" Sliding back to the affable Gryffindor, Harry offered the blond some juice and snacks. The younger Malfoy absently accepted, nibbling a lemon tart to keep himself occupied as he tried to digest everything.

\"So. Where do we go from here? I assume, since the Ministry hasn\'t broken down the door, that we can practice spells over the summer. What\'s on the lesson plan, Professor?\"

The ability to mentally \'switch gears\' had kept Severus Snape alive for far longer than most spies were likely to live. And he did have a plan. Of sorts. Which the damned brat had just shot holes through. Dragging up another fine spy ability -- to act spontaneously on limited information (ie: to bullshit his way through) -- Severus made a decision.

\"First, apparation. You would learn how this year in any case, but the skill may well save your hide. After that, perhaps... mid-level curses and shielding spells.\"

\"Hold on a second, sir.\" Once more interrupting, Harry gave a patently false smile of apology. \"The Weasley twins already gave me a crash course (literally) on apparating. I could pass the test tomorrow, if they\'d let me take it. And mid-level curses? Didn\'t the Headmaster tell you about the DA? We\'ve already covered most of the Auror training program\'s textbooks. And Ron and \'Mione and me, we\'ve adjusted a few spells to work only on people who bear the Dark mark.\" Harry almost felt like preening under the involuntary looks of approval from the two older wizards. \"So, how about duelling practice, some sniper-style games, and maybe learning to be animagi? That\'d be right useful for hiding or spying.\"

Snape\'s eyebrow did its thing, as he contemplated the proposal. \"I will agree, on one condition.\" He waited for his audience\'s full attention. \"Mr. Potter, would you care to share your modified spells with the whole class?\"

The pleased grin on Harry\'s face was answer enough.

~ * ~

Deciding to continue in the morning, each man said their goodnights before retiring. Unfortunately for Draco, he forgot to take Harry\'s Slytherin side into account. Waking up with pink fuzzy bunny feet -- that refused to leave his body -- was a rather effective reminder.

Muttering to himself on the way to the kitchen, Draco forced his brain to wake up enough to start making plans. \"Alright Potter, let the games begin.\"