Missed Me

Props to my beta and sounding board: Kat

Props to all the folks that keep coming back and reviewing

Legal Schtuff:
All characters belong to J.K. Rowling
“The Perfect Fit” belongs to The Dresden Dolls

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He wishes it never happened. What’s so wrong with me that he regrets something that was so beautiful? Hermione sighed and stretched on the couch. After running out that morning, she had taken great pains to avoid running into Severus for the rest of the day. Not like he’s going to be here much longer anyways, she thought sullenly. Later that morning she had gotten an owl from Dumbledore letting her know that the Chicken Pox had been contained and that her house guest would be leaving by the end of the weekend. Part of Hermione just wanted to shrug her shoulders and say that at least she had some good memories, but the greater part of her was unhappy and more than little hurt. Since Harry and Ron still weren’t back from their holiday, she decided to just give in and wallow in her sadness.

Deciding that the study would be a better place to wallow, since there was always the chance Severus would come to say goodbye, she transfigured one of the sturdy leather chairs into a couch, put on a collection of rather sad songs and began to make a considerable dent in the decanter of firewhisky. I just don’t understand it. We both wanted it, hell I initiated it. Why is our being together so wrong? I don’t care about his age, or what he had to do during the war. Underneath all that black, I know he’s a good man.

I could make a dress
A robe fit for a prince
I could clothe a continent
But I can\'t sew a stitch

Hermione sighed as she recognized the song. It figures I would make sure that one was included. The piece had a soft sad piano playing, which was only accentuated by the soft sad voice singing and the occasional tinkling of cymbals or chimes. Holding her glass of firewhisky, she lifted her voice, the words slightly slurring, never noticing that a door had softly opened.

~~~

I shouldn’t be here. She’s sad, she’s drunk and...and...and I just wish I could make it all better.

Fine words from the person that caused her to cry and run out of your room.

Oh sod off, you’ve done enough damage.

The voice made a little “humph” noise but nothing more. Turning his attention back to Hermione, he watched her take another drink before standing, swaying slightly and singing along.

I can\'t change my name
But I could be your type
I can dance and win at games
Like Backgammon and Life

I already know you’re my type, Severus thought with a vague sneer as he pressed himself against the door, trying to stay in the shadows and out of sight. Not wanting to upset Hermione further but not wanting to go without saying something, he felt oddly compelled to just stand there and listen to her.

I used to be the bright one
Top in my class
Funny what they give you when you
Just learn how to ask

~~~

Turning from the fire she faced the doorway. She knew Severus was there. She wasn’t sure how, but she did. Putting her glass down on the table, she stood there and sang what she felt in her heart. Hermione had always known she was smart, and not what one would ever call beautiful. Being in Harry\'s and Ron’s shadow for so long, she sometimes felt that there would never be someone who would really understand her. Yes, she loved to read and learn and was more happy talking about subjects like potions, arithmancy, and transfiguration. But that didn’t mean she was just a “brain,” or that she wasn’t interested in the male species. It just meant that a good portion of them weren’t interested in her, and in a way, it stung that she was good enough to be friends with them, but was never good enough for something more.

I used to be the tight one
The perfect fit
Funny how those compliments can
Make you feel so full of it

And with Severus, it had felt right. And when they would banter back and forth, the kisses, she thought he was interested too. Guess that just goes to show me not to assume, she thought sadly. Walking closer to where Severus stood, she wiped a glittering tear from her eye.

I can shuffle cut and deal
But I can\'t draw a hand
I can\'t draw a lot of things
I hope you understand
I’m not exceptionally shy
But I’ve never had a man
That I could look straight in the eye
And tell my secret plans

~~~

She knows I’m here, and yet she just keeps singing. Severus was impressed by the amount of bravery that it took to stand in front of someone and sing what was in your heart. And he also felt extremely guilty that he had been the cause of this drunken emotional episode. He watched transfixed as she finished the song, marking the end of each verse by walking a little bit closer.

Can\'t you just fix it for me, it\'s gone berserk...
Fuck I’ll give you anything if
You can make the damn thing work

Gryffindor bravery, come on Hermione, she coached herself. There was something in Severus’ obsidian eyes that seem to beckon her closer. She knew she was only opening herself up for more heartache, but she needed to say what was in her heart. She couldn’t keep things bottled up anymore.

Can\'t you just fix it for me, I’ll pay you well,
Fuck I’ll pay you anything
If you can end this

Hello, I love you will you tell me your name?
Hello, I’m good for nothing - will you love me just the same?

Hearing her sing the last line, the question that lay behind it, Severus could only grace her lips with a kiss before quickly leaving the study, shutting the door as Hermione dissolved into tears.