Marvin the Mad Muggle

Disclaimer: It’s not mine! *sob* Harry, all of his
friends, and the entirety of Potterverse all belong to J.K. Rowling and I swear
that I’m not making any money off of it. BUT…Marvin is mine, mine, mine and if
you touch him I will hex you into oblivion

A/N: Thank you Lord!! I go to pick up my copy of
HBP in a little over 3 ½ hours. Whupppeeeee!!!! And, I needed to get this
chapter out to help keep the story on track. Once I start ready HBP, Marvin
will sort of be reading it along with me and we’ll see how Harry, Severus and
friends respond to J.K.’s latest take on the wizarding world. For now Severus
will turn Harry back into the gorgeous man we all love and adore…or will he?

Chapter 6: Triple Chocolate Cake

Severus smiled mischievously at
Harry knowing that his obvious humor would worry the boy even more. After all,
Severus Snape never, ever smiled no matter how sweet his little taste of
revenge was. He felt that perhaps it was safe to indulge just this once,
seeing as how this piece of revenge tasted like triple chocolate cake, frosted
with fudge and drizzled with caramel. The cherry on top of it all would be
discovered by the others soon enough.

Harry was taking the whole ordeal
rather well. “SNAPE!! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?! You made me
a…a…Sweet Circe I can’t even say it, it’s so horrible.”

“I think your female friends might
resent that sentiment,” Severus said dryly.

Albus cleared his throat. “Now,
now, boys, you’ve both had your fun…”

“FUN,” Harry screamed and then
cringed at the sound of his own shrill voice. Severus sneered happily,
suppressing the urge to chuckle. “What fun? I haven’t done anything and Snape
just marches in here and hexes away my bits!”

“Oh shut it, Potter. Its not like
I blew them off or anything,” Severus drawled. “Besides, I’d say this is mild
retaliation considering the information you’ve been keeping from me.”

“It was for your own good,” Harry
snapped. “And the safety of innocent muggles everywhere.”

Severus snorted. “Potter, I read
quite a few of those…fan fiction things in the past twenty-four hours and
believe you me, the minds of those muggles are anything but innocent.”

It vaguely registered in the back
of his mind that Marvin had stopped laughing upon hearing this. He had told
the muggle that hexing Harry was to be a small, harmless joke. The stupid twit
had believed him. Severus had every intent of making Potter suffer for as long
as possible.

“Enough of this,” Albus said
firmly. “Severus, please perform the counter curse or I shall do it myself.
Either way, Harry can not remain in this state.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,
headmaster. Potter has yet to learn his lesson.”

Severus’ elderly mentor sighed and
pulled out his wand to perform the counter curse. After several attempts, the
old wizard began to look alarmed. “Severus, what have you done?”

Harry’s eyes were wide and
fearful. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Severus rolled his eyes and let
his lips curl ever so slightly. “Relax, Potter, it’s not permanent. Unfortunately,
for you, I am the only one who can perform the counter curse. I will only do
so when I feel you have learned your lesson.”

“Severus, are you certain this
will cause no harm to Harry,” Albus asked softly. Severus turned to see that
the mad twinkle was once again in the old man’s eye.

“Absolutely.”

“Very well. Harry, I’m sorry to
do this to you, but you’ll just have to go along with Professor Snape on this
for now.” Albus smiled warmly and sat back behind his desk.

Severus cast a nasty smile at
Harry before spinning about to march from the room. He noted the look of
confusion, tinged with anger, which graced Marvin’s face, but chose to ignore
it for the moment. If the muggle couldn’t take a joke…all right, a good bout
of revenge…well it wasn’t his fault, was it?

As he walked through the hallways,
he nearly gave in to the urge to whistle as he made his way down to the
dungeons.

____________________________

Harry watched Snape leave the
headmaster’s office with his mouth hanging agape. NO! There was just no way
that Snape had just walked away without removing this hex. He was a woman now
for Merlin’s sake! Why didn’t Albus make him perform the counter curse? One
glance at the older wizard told Harry everything he needed to know. The old
coot obviously found this amusing. Harry glanced at Marvin and noticed that
his friend looked a bit distressed.

“Marvin, are you all right?”

Marvin slowly shook his head. “I
should be asking you that, Harry. I’m so sorry. I should have listened to
you, but I honestly didn’t see the harm in letting him read the stories.”

Harry smiled weakly. “You
couldn’t have know. Don’t beat your…”

“NO!! I feel like a fool, and you
shouldn’t be trying to change that. You were right. I’m one of those
people who thought Snape might actually be human underneath it all.” Harry
felt horrible for his friend. The poor guy had actually been out to befriend
Snape, greasy git of the dungeons.

Albus was the first to respond to
the muggle’s comments. “Severus is human, Marvin, and he really does have a
good heart. But, he reveals himself much differently from everyone else…”

Harry decided to cut in. “He’s a
Slytherin, Marvin. You’ve read the books so I’m sure you can appreciate that.
Slytherins really do think a bit differently than the rest of us. You seem to
me like you would have been a Gryffindor. Because of this, you take what Snape
did as an affront to the loyalties to the friendship you were trying to build
with him.”

“Harry is quite right, Marvin. I
doubt that Severus had any intent to hurt you in all of this.” Albus smile
benevolently at the sad muggle and Harry was glad that the headmaster was not
upset at his interruption. The old man really did know how to turn a two
minute explanation into a two hour lecture. Severus Snape was a complicated
puzzle, one that no one could explain.

“You guys are right.”

Harry beamed at his friend.
Perhaps Marvin would be willing to help him instigate a little Gryffindor
retaliation. “Marvin, why don’t we go get something to eat and you can tell me
exactly what happened.”

“Okay.”

“Have a good day boys,” Albus said
with a wave as they exited his office.

As they walked down the hall,
Harry continued to sneak glances at his friend trying to gauge his mood. The
man looked like he might want a little revenge just as badly as Harry did.
“Marvin, would you be interested in helping me get a little revenge on Snape?”

Marvin turned to look at him and
for a moment he thought the man might refuse. Then his eyes lit up with a
certain mischief and Harry knew his friend was in. “Sure, on one condition.”

“What would that be,” Harry asked
warily.

“We need to go to Diagon Ally
tomorrow and pick up Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. It’s going
to be released for sale at midnight.” Marvin looked positively giddy over the
prospect of reading this new book.

Harry sighed. “Well, I suppose it
can’t hurt, since I don’t exactly look like myself right now. I normally have
someone else buy me a copy.”

Marvin smiled and shook his head.
“No, I suppose you wouldn’t want to go get it yourself. Everyone would be
begging the Boy-Who-Lived to sign their books.”

“All right then, we’ll enjoy our
day, make it an early night, and then leave for Diagon Ally before the shops
open.” Harry felt himself relaxing as he watched his friend’s excitement. He
was still royally pissed over being turned into a girl, but there was nothing
he could do about that at the moment.

“Yes, then I’ll read my book and
we’ll begin work on Project Ares,” Marvin said with a smirk.

“Project Ares?” Harry laughed.
Oh yes, he understood that. Snape’s actions definitely meant war. “Very well,
my friend. Project Ares it is.”

“This is going to be like triple
chocolate cake, with fudge frosting, caramel sauce, and pecans.”

Harry laughed once again. “Yes,
this should definitely be sweet.”

Slytherins were not the only ones
who knew how to take revenge.

A/N: Okay, I know not a lot happened, but I’m setting
things up for the next chapter. It will be two or three chapters before our
two friends take their sweet revenge on Severus. In the next chapter Harriette…er,
Harry and Marvin go to Diagon Ally. Their purchase goes smoothly and all is
well until Harry spots Arthur Weasley. How could this be a bad thing? Well,
it might have something to do with Arthur’s lunch partner and Marvin figuring
out who he is. Next chapter title: Diagon Disaster.