Flawed Chemistry
23rd, June
Flawed Chemistry
Pairing:
Hermione Granger/Severus SnapeCategory: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, drama, future-fiction, first-time
Rating: PG-13,with future R-rated chapters.
Warnings: None thus far. Unbeta'd.
Summary: Hermione Granger has finally done what everyone else
has said was impossible to do but was it worth the cost?
Story Notes: This is set post-Hogwarts, after the trio has finally
graduated. There will be little to no mention of the events in any of the books
but I do try to stay as close to canon as possible. Also, for every "real"
chapter there will be a connecting half-chapter that will either be an a. diary
entry, b. journal entry, or c. letter. Sometimes they will tie into the chapter,
other times they will be entirely independent of it. It's up to you to
distinguish which is which.
******
Part 3 ½
Excerpt from the diaries of one Hermione Granger
23rd, June
There are days, I have found, where you begin to wish that you had never
gotten out of bed. Today was one of them. For me, at least.
It started out with a trip to Diagon Alley. Mum said she noticed I had been a
little depressed lately (small wonder since it seems since I can’t even begin to
decide what I wish to do with my life) and that she thought maybe an outing
would do me some good. Fat lot of rubbish that was.
No, that’s rude to say. Mum had her heart in the right place and the outing
wasn’t half so bad until we ran into Ron and Harry. They were so happy.
Apparently, they were both fixing to go off to some sort of Auror training.
Though, I think sending Harry off to it is a bit supercilious and silly but he
seemed happy enough. I think this is his chance to just be for a while. He’s
been so different since the war. Quieter, more reserved. Talks less and observes
more but I can hardly blame him.
I know that Ron notices that quietness about Harry, too. But, I think he
chooses to ignore it. The war has changed us all so much. Harry, Ron, myself.
Even my parents are a little different than they used to be.
I still remember their horrified faces when I told them that what was coming;
what the war would be like. I also remember what their faces looked like, what
their tears looked like, when they came to get me from the infirmary after the
battle. I hadn’t known then but they had been there, during the battle, helping
with the wounded. They had seen so many wizards and witches fall. They had seen
me fall and thought I was dead. Their only child, their little girl, dead
because of some madman.
We had all never cried so much since that night.
Which is another reason why today was so harrowing. I really can’t let any of
them down. I can’t turn to them and say, “I don’t know what I want to do with my
life.”
I can’t do that to them. They’ve all been through so much. I can’t lay my
problems at their doorstep. I can’t expect them to have the answers. I have to
figure them out on my own, which makes it that much harder because I feel so
alone in this.
Alone and lost, with no one to turn to or to understand what it’s like.