Forbidden Feelings

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Forbidden Feelings

Chapter Six


Hermione stood silently watching the two figures in the room. Although they were turned toward her, they were so still, it seemed as if they were paused. The room was quiet which amplified the loud beating of her heart.

“Professor?” Her voice was little more than a gasp as both men suddenly came to life.

Lucius immediately released his hold on the man kneeling at his feet. He glanced at them both before adding airily, “It is difficult to get anything accomplished when one is constantly being interrupted.”

He then looked down at Lupin still on his knees.

“I will consider your proposal, Professor Lupin.”

He left with a swish of his robes, once again submersing the room in a somber quietness.

Remus Lupin rose to his feet, avoiding his student’s eyes. He had no idea what to say to her.

“I want to know,” she said, her voice shaking with the effort to stay calm. “What is going on?”

“Nothing, Hermione,” he said dismissively. “Lucius was just…”

“Not between you and Malfoy,” she interrupted. “Although that was a sight that will be burned in my mind forever.”

She drew a deep breath to calm herself before continuing. She wasn’t even sure how to phrase it.

“I…something is wrong. I can feel it, Professor,” she stammered. “I feel things-strange things. I can sense…” Her arms flew wildly as she tried to explain, “things. And yet I have no memory.”

“I have no idea…” he began.

“You do! I know you do!” Hermione cried out in frustration.

Remus looked at her then. His eyes were reserved and sad.

No, she thought. Not sad. Guilty. He does know.

“Perhaps if you told me what things you are referring to that might help me.” He was stalling; trying to find a way out of the mess he was currently tangled in.

“Things,” she stated again. “I have been feeling…” She stopped. How could she tell him that just the sight of him, smell of him, aroused her beyond anything she had ever felt? And that she felt this way about Lucius Malfoy as well. She couldn’t stand that man! Her eyes dropped, her face reddening in embarrassment.

“Oh.” The small acknowledgement was so quiet, that the young witch missed it, and its significance.

She continued looking down as she made her admission. “I feel constantly…aroused,” she whispered. “And I think I am going crazy.” She lifted her face, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

Remus’ heart melted. She had no idea what was happening…and it was entirely his fault.

He moved quickly to her side and took her hands in his, intending to comfort her. The touch of their skin sent sparks flying and he dropped her hands just as quickly and stepped away.

“Hermione,” he tried again. “You are not going crazy. I promise you.”

“Then tell me, Professor…” Her voice was stronger and her chin was determined. “What is going on?”

“I told you,” he began but was stopped by the look in her eyes.

“It’s complicated,” he finished.

“Brightest witch of my age. Remember?” she said shrilly. “I think I can take it.”

“Something did happen, Hermione,” he finally admitted. “But I cannot explain it to you.”

“I don’t understand,” the young witch replied. “If I was involved, then why can’t I remember?”

“Please just trust me, Hermione.”

“Tell me why!” she cried in desperation, needing to know the answer.

“I Obliviated you.”

The look she gave him was one of shock…and betrayal.

“Hermione, please…you don’t understand.”

She shook her head back and forth as if trying to deny what he was saying.

“This is what you wanted.”

He moved closer to her.

“No!” she yelled, pushing him away. “I trusted you! How could you do this to me?”

“Please…” His voice was raspy as he begged her to understand. “This was something you wanted,” he started again.

“I would never have wanted to be Obliviated!”

“Well, maybe not wanted, exactly,” he agreed. “But you were all right with it. You knew what I was going to do and you agreed to let me do it.”

She looked at him angrily. She just couldn’t believe Professor Lupin would do such a thing. Even so, she felt the pull, the need to touch him, to hold him.

“I want to know...I want my memories back.”

“Don’t you understand, Hermione?” He looked tired, weary. “I did this to protect you.”

“From what, Professor?” she asked. “From you?”

“Hermione…” Remus raked his hand through his already tousled hair.

“Don’t you see? I have to know. I cannot stand not knowing. They are my memories! I want them back. If I have to, I will go to the headmaster.”

They both knew it was an empty threat. She could not risk going to Professor Dumbledore; she didn’t know what her part was in all of this.

Nevertheless, the thought of the older wizard finding out what had happened that night chilled the blood flowing through his body.

“They are gone. I cannot get them back for you.”

She gave an exasperated sigh and looked ready to attack once more, when he added, “but there is something we can do.”

“What?” she asked anxiously.

“You have heard of a Pensieve?”

Hermione’s pulse sped up. She had read about them of course. And Harry had told her about the one in Dumbledore’s office.

Perfect. She knew that a Pensieve shows exactly what happened, instead of giving anyone’s point of view.

“Fine,” she murmured. “Let’s do it now.”

“I think we should wait…”

“Now,” she demanded.

Remus reluctantly agreed. A sense of dread overcame him as he led her out of the classroom.

There were many things that night he did not want her to remember.