Change My World

The problem was that Draco was right. Harry HAD been about to tell the Slytherin that he was in love with him. And though he\'d suppressed the feelings while he was with Draco and tried desperately to sleep them off, the next morning nothing had changed. His stomach felt as if it were tied in knots and pained him every time he thought of telling the blond his feelings. One week. It did sound short and improbable. And they\'d made love once... no it was twice. Not to mention all of the fooling around before that. Some people believed in love at first sight, was it so hard to believe that love could come after a week? Evidently for the boy he was in love with it was.

If Draco was at all plagued with any of these self-doubts, he wasn\'t showing it. He sat nonchalantly across from Dumbledore\'s desk next to Harry. He slouched arrogantly in the chair, one ankle draped casually over his knee with a pale hand resting on the black of his trouser leg. The one time he visibly acknowledged Harry in the office Draco had given his usual derisive sneer and then rolled his eyes to look back to the headmaster who was trying in vain to get the boys to talk about what they were actually doing in the tower.

\"It is simply that given the length of time you were outside and how little was done, I am curious as to what you two were speaking about for an hour and a half that resulted in the shouting match. By all accounts you were rather quiet up until then,\" Dumbledore observed as he looked between the boys.

\"I was telling him about my tormented childhood under the oppressive thumb of parents who loved me more than anything and would buy me everything I never wanted. Ooooh it was hoooooorrrrible,\" Draco said dramatically as he whisked his wrist up to press against his forehead and rolled his eyes.

Harry was glad Malfoy was having fun with this. The boy who lived was absolutely mortified. Did Dumbledore know? He must suspect something was going on or he wouldn\'t have called them both to his office. Although the way that the headmaster kept glaring at Malfoy, it was clear that he suspected that the Slytherin was up to something. Though Harry tried not to gaze at Draco, it was difficult. He wanted so badly to talk to him, but then again, it seemed as if the way they\'d left things had been ideal. Draco wasn\'t scared and he had seemed open to the possibility of a real relationship-just not yet.

The old man raised his brows over his spectacles at Draco\'s display for a moment and then observed Harry and the way that he seemed to be taken with the blond. A flash of recognition sparked over the old man\'s face and he gave a nod almost unto himself. \"Well then. It would seem that perhaps in the spirit of letting you two work together again, I shall let Sinistra\'s essay stand. However, the extra week\'s worth of detention shall not be necessary seeing as neither of you actually destroyed or damaged anything. Your final detention shall be spent in the library. Harry, I wish you to stay,\" Dumbledore announced as Malfoy scoffed and pushed himself up off of the chair.

The Gryffindor and the Headmaster watched Draco make his hasty and petulant exit. Draco had hoped to paw at Harry a bit more on the swiveling stairs, but it seemed to not be in the cards that morning. That was all right, he had his own date with the imp and he\'d get him then, he reasoned as he took one last look at Harry and gave him a quick smirk before he vanished from view.

Slowly, Harry turned around to face the Headmaster who was still watching the empty doorway for a moment. \"Harry... it would seem that your relationship with Draco has altered in some ways. While I had hoped that perhaps forcing the two of you together might form a truce or even perhaps a bond, I sense that you have yet again exceeded my expectations.\" Giving a wry smile at Harry\'s nervous squirm and wide-eyed swallow as the boy seemed to be trying to puzzle out what the older man knew, Dumbledore carried on. \"I do not know what manner of connection you have formed with the young Malfoy, Harry. But based on my understanding of youthful desires for the \'bad boy\' and perhaps even your own wish to play hero and save the boy, I do understand your gazing at him.\"

\"I was not gaz-\"

Holding up his hand to halt Harry’s objections, Dumbledore noted Harry’s crimson blush and frowned sympathetically. There was much that could be told by simple body language and while the Slytherin had likely been coached on avoiding the pantomime that gave away a guilty conscience, Potter had not. “Nevertheless, gazing at him or not, I will simply caution you on getting too close. While you along with Severus are working on the boy, and given the absence of his father, he may yet turn from his path. Still, and again, I must caution you against getting too close,” Dumbledore stated.

\"But... why?\" Harry said as his brows furrowed in confusion. Snape was working on Draco? But of course, that made perfect sense. The two were fairly close, as far as teacher and student went. And some of Draco\'s observations were far too clever to have come from a teenaged introspection. Somehow Harry found himself jealous of that. Not just of the time that Draco spent with Snape, but that his turning from the Death Eaters might have more to do with his role model than himself.

\"Harry, anyone that close to you has the chance of being used against you. Remember that the Dark Lord has fooled you before at a high cost to your godfather. You must be wary of whom you let so close to you. Not just that he is a Death Eater\'s son, Harry. If I were concerned that Malfoy were an actual threat I would not have allowed your detentions to be set together. However, you must always bear in mind that whom you love has a great risk of being used against you to their peril. It is wonderful to love and be loved. But under the best of circumstances it is a risk, Harry.\"

Harry\'s green eyes darkened and he looked down into his lap before he closed his eyes at the mention of Sirius and the overwhelming sense of guilt that was inextricably entwined with how his godfather\'s life had ended. Though he realized that it was mostly his own fault for following the red herring of his implanted dream, Snape had let him down by discontinuing the lessons. If he\'d been a better Occlumens... if Snape had given him a better indication that he\'d understood him.... And then there was the jealousy. Snape could talk to Malfoy. Snape was permitted to care about the boy. But Harry was forbidden to? \"Right.\"

\"You cannot forget who you are-\"

\"I\'ve got it.\"

\"Harry.\"

\"I understand,\" Harry snapped as he hopped to his feet and yanked his bag over his shoulder. \"Is that all?\"

Dumbledore looked for a moment as if he wanted to say something more. His face was pained at having to point this out to the Gryffindor, but he had to keep the boy in mind. With a quick incline of his head and a flick of his fingers, he dismissed Harry and the stone stairwell started its familiar grind. Turning on his heel, Harry trudged towards the exit, feeling hurt and heavy with mourning for his already confused feelings. Now that he couldn\'t and shouldn\'t have Malfoy, he\'d never wanted him more.

---

By the time Harry got to the library, Draco was nearly to the end of the parchment. His script was graceful and elegant and not at all like Harry\'s rough script. The Slytherin\'s lips were pressed together and his brows furrowed in thought as he looked over at the text again and then went back to writing. In fact, in that pose Draco looked distressingly like Hermione. A fact that Harry wouldn\'t make mention of.

\"How long have you been here?\" Harry asked as he set his book bag down beside the table and peered upside down at Draco\'s text.

\"Since classes let out,\" Draco answered without looking up, determined to finish the essay.

\"Umm... why?\" Harry asked.

\"Because this essay needed doing, and I didn\'t want to waste our time working on it,\" stated Draco.

Our time. Harry bit his lip trying not to beam. \"You know that\'s never going to pass for my having done it,\" he pointed out.

Draco let out a bark like laugh, \"Yes, I\'ve seen that chicken scratch you call handwriting. Just copy it over. Make a few grammatical errors. I\'m sure the improved quality of your research can be easily written off to my helping you.\"

Harry folded his arms and rolled his eyes. \"Oh yes, I forget how much better than me you are,\" he said acerbically.

\"You always did miss the obvious.\"

\"Sarcasm is totally lost on you, isn\'t it?\" Harry asked in amusement as he kicked back a chair across from the Slytherin and flopped down in it allowing his robes to fall askew around him and the chair.

\"Only when it\'s delivered inadequately,\" Draco said, finishing the last sentence with a flourish and dotting the period dramatically. He blew over the ink and dropped the quill into its inkwell and then released the scroll to let it curl up into a loose roll. His great task completed, he raised his arms up and stretched back against the chair, arching his back dramatically as he shook back his blond tresses. The rival Seeker then pulled his arms back and rubbed his stomach in satisfaction as he sat up again and gave Harry a purring smile. \"Well, now that that is out of the way, what shall we do for our detention? Want to slip under the desk?\" he asked waggling his pale brows as he spread his legs and leaned in.

\"Evidently you\'re also selectively deaf. I said \'no sex,\'\" Harry reminded him seriously, although his lips were tugging into a slight smile. It was nice being desired. And maybe given what Dumbledore had warned-would sex count? It wasn\'t exactly love, was it? But he was playing with himself there, wasn\'t he? He knew how he felt. That wasn\'t going to change if he kept letting the Slytherin touch him.

Draco\'s pale hand sailed through the air in his familiar dismissive way. \"Then we talk. What shall we talk about? I\'d like to bring up the way your skin blotches when you come,\" he said with that self same dirty and yet mocking grin. \"Maybe the way you cry out my name? Maaa-a-a-aaaallll-foy!\" the Slytherin crooned in a quiet imitation of Harry\'s own lustful vocalizations.

Harry\'s green eyes widened in horror and arousal at this and he glanced around the library to see if anyone were in close enough proximity to have heard that. There didn\'t appear to have been. It was late in the evening and early in the school year. There weren\'t that many people hanging about at the moment and even Madam Pince seemed to be more concerned with whether Neville Longbottom was going to cause any of his usual inept devastation. Cupping his hands over the sides of his face to keep his blush being evident to anyone who might glimpse their way he hissed to Malfoy, \"No, you KNOW that\'s not what I mean.\"

The pale boy\'s hand splayed out palm up diffidently. \"Well then, what do you want to know?\" Though his speech implied that he was an open book, immediately after his words were spoken his arms crossed and his left ankle hooked up over his right leg and then crossed completely.

\"I don\'t know. Anything.\"

\"My name is Draco Malfoy. I go to school at Hogwarts. I\'m Prefect and in Slytherin House,\" he mocked.

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes. \"Did you like being a spoilt child?\" he tried. Given what he\'d heard from Malfoy in Madam Malkin\'s and just that morning in Dumbledore\'s office, he seemed to be pleased with it. But perhaps it would start him rolling on something.

\"It was great,\" Draco said flatly.

\"Oh.\"

\"Mmm hmm,\" the Slytherin said as if agreeing with himself that it was a great childhood.

On the best of days Harry wasn\'t great at making conversation, he hadn\'t realized that most of their easy conversation up to this point was completely reliant on Malfoy\'s abilities. But Malfoy wasn\'t cooperating, which was starting to eat at Harry\'s tender feelings. \"I lived locked in a cupboard under the stairs,\" Harry blurted out.

Draco cackled and rolled his eyes. \"Right. Good one. Were you the troll? Did you charge for passage over the stairs?\" he asked in amusement, honestly thinking this was a game. Then he stopped and looked at Harry whose countenance remained serious. Potter wasn\'t that good of an actor. \"What? A cupboard?\" he asked as if this was still rather impossible. \"Were you poor?\"

\"Well, sort of. I mean, the family wasn\'t but I didn\'t have any money-\"

After giving this news some thought, Draco shook his head not buying this at all, \"Well why didn\'t you tell Dumbledore about it? He\'s practically your boyfriend, I\'m sure he would\'ve fixed it up.\"

\"I didn\'t know about Dumbledore.\"

Draco tilted his head and raised his brows in a way that said, \'oh please\' and held up his hands as if to stop the speech.

\"I didn\'t know about wizards at all, let alone that I was one. They told me my parents died in a car crash,\" Harry explained.

Letting out a very put upon sigh, Draco rolled his eyes and looked off to another part of the library, \"Why are you making up this story, Potter? Is this to get attention? Honestly, I thought you better than this.\"

Harry slapped his palm to his forehead. It had never once occurred to him that should he actually want to talk about his childhood with someone that they wouldn\'t believe him. \"It\'s the TRUTH!\" he insisted.

\"You know, if that was the way your childhood was, why aren\'t people talking about it? I mean, why wasn\'t it in The Daily Prophet? They tell everything else about you,\" he said as he shrugged his shoulder and looked back at the aggrieved Gryffindor.

\"Because it\'s... it\'s... a secret.\"

\"Then why are you telling me? I\'m not your friend. I\'m your-\"

\"Enemy, right,\" Harry intoned in annoyance as he rolled his eyes. \"No not that kind of secret. It\'s just personal. I don\'t want everyone running about feeling sorry for me all the time, is all,\" he stated as he stared into Draco\'s grey eyes. He still looked as if he didn\'t believe Harry, although it was starting to fade a bit into his acceptance of it being a possibility.

\"Pfft. Well, don\'t expect me to feel sorry for you.\"

\"I don\'t WANT you to feel sorry for me! I\'m just... gah! Why are you being like this?\" Harry asked him as his green eyes started to flare in his irritation.

\"I just don\'t know why you\'re telling me this!\" he quipped as his nostrils flared in irritation.

Harry\'s mouth opened and closed and then he looked down, feeling utterly shot down. Did Draco truly not know why Harry was telling him this? Perhaps he was being daft. Draco had said straight out that it was about sex for him. Harry had just taken it for defensive bluster. But maybe he was just being honest and Harry had missed it. The brunette swallowed and it was his turn to look off at another part of the library.

Draco watched him and he set his jaw and flexed it a few times as he thought about what to say. He\'d hurt the Gryffindor and clearly Harry had gotten the wrong impression as to why. Eyelids fluttering closed, Draco moistened his lips and then said, \"It must have been very lonely. I suppose whether locked in a cupboard or a large manor-\" he broke off there and rolled his eyes at himself. \"Well I hope they let you out to piss at least,\" Draco sniffed.

The green-eyed brunette slowly turned his head back and looked at Draco for a moment. Malfoy lonely? And just as soon as that relatable boy showed himself, he snapped himself back out of it. \"Draco, go on.\"

Draco\'s eyes scanned Harry for a moment, as if he were deciding whether to share this part of himself or not. After a beat, he let out a short huff and spoke. \"Oh, I think I\'ll spare you the teen angst of mummy and daddy didn\'t love me. Because that is not how it was. They spoiled me completely. Mum still does,\" he said and shrugged a little and sniffed. \"There were just not that many parents willing to set up play dates for the child of an accused Death Eater. I mean, the charges were dismissed and all, but no one really believed it. I think they let him stay at the Ministry hoping he\'d slip up. But my father is brilliant and cunning and he used his reputation to intimidate others into getting what he wanted. Which was great for him. It just... again, didn\'t lead to much of a social life for me. Just Crabbe and Goyle. And Nott.\"

Harry had never thought about that before. But it made sense. It also made sense now why such a petite blond seemed to command Slytherin House to his bidding. Draco\'s father was a huge threat. The dark wizard scared even Harry. Although as Harry thought about Malfoy and his little gang, Nott didn\'t seem to be one amongst his toadies. \"What happened with Nott?\" Harry asked.

Draco shrugged. \"He does his own thing.\"

\"Do you have any friends, Draco?\" Harry asked after thinking about how he seemed to have followers more than people he related to.

Rolling his eyes, Draco\'s arms tightened crossed over himself. \"I have loads of friends, Potter. I\'m the most popular boy in Slytherin House,\" he spat out.

\"Harry,\" the brunette reminded him, noting how Draco reverted to his last name when he got irritated. And it was evident he\'d struck a nerve. \"I\'m your friend, Draco.\"

\"Don\'t do me any favors, Potter.\"

Harry frowned and looked away again. This wasn\'t going well at all. But what did he expect? \"Maybe I need a friend.\"

At this, Draco seemed to perk up a bit. \"What do you need a friend for? You\'ve got that Mudblood and the weasel to keep you company. Although, I bet they don\'t know what a dirty little boy you are,\" he said as he leaned in and pressed his elbows against the dark of the table in front of him giving Harry a rather lascivious sneer.

\"Don\'t call her that. Or him that! And don\'t... look at me like that!\" Harry protested as he felt his cheeks burn, although at least Draco didn\'t look angry anymore. The boy was stormy. Defensive. Perhaps Dumbledore was on to something when he called Malfoy a bad boy. What good could honestly come out of this? Nothing. Nothing at all. In his frustration Harry was about to say something about how the Slytherin wasn\'t worth the trouble if he was going to continue to be like this when he suddenly realized that the boy was no longer sitting in front of him. His eyes cast around the dark library as if Draco could have gotten particularly far in the short time Harry was thinking when he felt pressure on his lap.

Looking down in shock, he saw pale hands steadily pulling at his belt, deftly bypassing the tine and already working the button and zipper. Harry\'s head whipped up and he peered around the library to see if anyone was looking their way, but it seemed that the area was still fairly empty. Only Pince was in view and she seemed to be fixated on Longbottom still. Or at least glaring at someone who wasn\'t in the boys\' direction. Harry let out a small squeak as he felt his erection lifted out of his pants and briefly exposed to the air before it was bathing in the warm of Malfoy\'s mouth. \"I said no sex,\" Harry whispered. \"I want to talk!\" he protested helplessly.

From under the desk, Draco pulled his mouth off of the worried prick and retorted. \"So talk. I\'m out of things to say. Tell me more about your childhood,\" he snorted.

\"People will wonder whom I\'m talking to,\" Harry pointed out.

\"So don\'t talk,\" Draco said and again engulfed the organ, sliding his tongue persuasively up and down the shaft before twitching it along the underside of the head.

Harry\'s hands moved down to either side of the chair. He felt sick. He didn\'t want to do this. He wanted to talk to Malfoy. He wanted to be more than his sex toy. He wanted to know the boy. As good as the sex was, this wasn\'t what he needed. Pulling up one foot, he pushed it against Draco\'s shoulder shoving the boy back. Draco\'s mouth made a fairly loud suctioning sound as his lips parted Harry\'s erection and the noise attracted the attention of Madam Pince. Harry swiftly yanked his robe up over his exposed manhood as he heard her call out, \"Are you eating over there?\"

\"Not anymore,\" Draco said bitterly under his breath as he shoved himself back into his seat.

\"No, Madam Pince,\" Harry said loudly over Draco\'s mutter. \"Just... uhh... making mouth noises.\"

She didn\'t look entirely like she bought that and sniffed in their direction, but didn\'t smell any food. \"See to it that you don\'t.\"

Draco\'s hand moved up dismissively at her as he glared at Harry.

\"I told you NO,\" Harry said.

\"Fine.\"

\"Why do you spite me?\"

\"Why do you push me?\" Draco asked as he glared up at the clock resentfully, noting there was still a half an hour left to their detention.

\"I just want to get to know you.\"

\"What good is that going to do either of us, Harry? I can\'t fix that you lived in a cupboard, or that you thought your parents died in a car crash. All knowing that does is make me sad and a little angry,\" Draco huffed.

\"It does?\" Harry asked, mildly surprised.

\"Well, Muggles are insufferable.\"

\"Is that the only reason it bothers you?\"

Draco mashed the palms of his hands into his eyes and folded his pale fingers up over his hair. \"Stop it,\" he insisted as his pale face started to flush with his discomfort.

\"Draco...\"

\"Stop it. I don\'t like you at all! God, leave me ALONE!\" the flustered blond shouted, raising the ire of Madam Pince again.

\"Boys,\" the librarian warned.

Draco\'s breathing was accelerated and he looked upset. No, not just upset, the blond appeared terrified. Harry pressed his lips together and looked at Pince and then back to Draco and back once more. He watched her turn her attentions back down to a book she was now reading and slowly slid himself down the chair and under the desk.

The Slytherin\'s elbows were digging into the desk and his hands were over his eyes again as he tried to master his eruptive emotions. His outburst was uncharacteristic and he felt his passions running rampant. It wasn\'t good. Harry was getting to him. It wasn\'t that he didn\'t want to give the boy what he wanted; he just wasn\'t ready. He didn\'t know what it meant to him, or how this fit into his life. The blond waif wasn\'t even sure if it should fit into his life. Draco was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn\'t seen Potter slide down his chair and crawl to him under the desk. All he knew was that suddenly there were hands on his crotch causing him to shriek and jump up.

Draco\'s thigh caught onto the desk, causing it to noisily shudder before he pulled back, gripping his bruised leg. Harry was so taken aback at Draco\'s sudden departure from the chair that his own reflexes kicked in and he also jumped up to standing. The desk cracked hard on Harry\'s shoulder, but didn\'t stop his progress to standing. Rather, the dark wood dug into his shoulder and rode the Gryffindor\'s body upward until it finally fell off of his body with a loud crash that reverberated through the large stone room. A corner of the desk splintered and cracked before it landed awkwardly upside down, legs standing uselessly upright. Books fluttered askew onto the ground and a couple grew legs and skittered off to hide from the commotion. Harry flushed. Draco quailed. Both boys slowly turned their heads to look at Madam Pince who was positively shaking with agitation at the disruption and destruction of her precious desk and frightened tomes.

\"ANOTHER WEEK OF DETENTION!\"