Totem

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used here just the devious little mind making them dance.

//blah, blah, blah// - denotes thoughts

// ‘blah blah’ // someone else’s thoughts in a certain character’s mind. (Hopefully it’ll make sense later)

Pairing: Snape X Harry, Harry X Snape

Summary: Harry retreats to Hogwarts after his latest battle seeking safety, comfort and something else…

WARNING: This chapter contains situations of violence and non-consensual sex. I don’t think it’s all that graphic but just thought you should know.

***

Totem


Chapter 6

Harry stood in disbelief. “What are you…no…Severus?”

Snape released Harry’s face and set to putting his robes on.

//Why didn’t I realize, I didn’t once think about him having to go…to him. // Harry watched as Snape changed from being his lover to being a double agent. The softness that Harry had begun to notice was turning back into rigidity. The change of clothing, the expressionless face, even the way he moved: cold and calculating made with the purpose to deceive. This was obviously a ritual that Snape had undergone many times. Soon Harry could see the death eater staring back at him.

Snape took a pensive from the cabinet over his desk and set it to the table. He drew out a few choice memories hopping he wasn’t leaving, too many holes should the Dark Lord see fit to rummage through them. He looked back at Harry who had been watching him silently.

“Guess I can’t really say ‘don’t go’.” //but I want to.//

Harry had a hungry, desperate look about his eyes. “I’ll be fine. You’ll be able to know exactly where I am and how to get to me. I’ll be able to call out to you if I need too. Actually, I’ve never been safer.” Snape tried to smile to reassure him.

“How long?”

“ Don’t know, sometimes hours, sometimes days. I will contact you when I feel I can.” //I have to get out of here before I convince myself to stay.// Snape strode to the door. He stopped, not lookiack ack at Harry, then forced himself through the door.

“be safe,” Harry whispered.

***

Harry stayed in Snape’s study, pouting and worried for a good hour after the man had left. //this is shit. can’t be angry at him, can’t beg him to stay cause when it’s my turn to go he’ll feel the same. We all have parts to play.// There had been moments over the last few days where there had been no war, moments of just him and Snape. Harry relished the longing that burned inside him now. //For the first time there is someone who makes me feel alive, feel love and gives me a home; everything I ever wanted.// Brooding was getting him nowhere so Harry grabbed his jeans and searched for a shirt. He found a drawer full of soft t-shirts and jerseys Snape probably wore on cold days. It was silly and sickeningly romantic, but he wanted to feel the presence of his lover. Finally dressed he made off for the infirmary where he last saw his trunk.

Harry spent the day doing odd things like getting his trunk down into the dungeon, visiting Hedwig in the owlrey, playing with Fang for a little bit. He wandered the empty castle aimlessly talking to a few of the ghosts and some of the paintings. He suddenly found himself at the foot of the stairs leading to Trelawny’s classroom. He climbed them without thinking. Nothing had changed since he had taken divination. The myriad of teacups shoved into shelves, rows of crystal balls, soft wildly colored cushions around low tables, all were still there. He sank down into a cushion and laid back. He could still smell the sweet, heavy incense she burnt. He wrapped himself in his arms and lay still, not really thinking anything just lying there. His eyes drooped once, twice and then closed.

He didn’t know how long he had slept when he awoke. The air felt heavy. “I’m sorry, that I couldn’t save you.” Harry got up and walked to a veiled covered mirror. He lifted the covering and in the reflection she was there behind him. She looked like she had during school not the last time he had seen her. He repeated his apology again and the image nodded reassuringly and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s happening isn’t it? … the last days of the battle. It’s falling into place.”

Again she nodded yes to him.

“Will we win?”

She raised a shoulder in a questioning manner.

“It’s too fast.” Harry looked down from the mirror. “It’s happening too fast. I don’t know if I can…” Harry looked back into the mirror Trelawny was now joined by his mother and father. He saw Sirius Black and many, many others who he did not know. They all looked at him in the reflection of the mirror.

“They are with you, Harry Potter.”

Harry spun on his heals almost expecting the sea of faces to be behind him. Instead there was a single tall white haired wizard with a kindly face and small round glasses, Albus Dumbledore.

***

As soon as he stepped foot into the broken down mansion the ball of dis-ease in his stomach caused by the call subsided. He was ushered through the house by a two men in masks. It was oddly quiet. They passed through a great hall that was completely empty. The knot began to reform in the Professor’s stomach. This was not an ordinary summoning. This was a private meeting and he was being taken directly to the Dark Lord. After scaling a few flights of stairs and twisting and turning down halls they came to a long straight corridor. As they proceeded muffled sounds became louder, clearer until Snape recognized the grunts and groans of sex: hard, rough, painful sex. As they reached the door there was a loud choking cry and all fell silent. The death eaters opened the door and Snape obediently stepped inside. It was a very large room in complete disarray. Paintings hung at awkward angles, cobwebs trailed over the furniture. There was fireplace with a room setting of chairs and couches with stuffing spilling out, one chair toppled over from a missing leg. Magic candles light the room dimly. In the middle of all this disarray stood a set of risers and on top a large posted bed covered with grey and yellowed sheer drapes. There was some movement on the bed. Someone was getting up, getting dressed. Snape saw a flip of long platinum hair and heard the sickly sound of a wet sniffle. Luscious Malfoy descended the dais, cloak draped over one arm and a bloody handkerchief pressed to his swollen and bruised face. He was walking slowly and carefully.

“Be on your guard…he’s in a bitch of a mood tonight.” Malfoy chortled as he lumbered away.

The Dark Lord himself emerged from the curtains in a long tattered silk robe. He motioned for Snape to sit on the couch. He took a glass form the table and drank it down before sitting next to Snape. He growled, and coughed wiping at his mouth with his sleeve leaving a long dark streak. “I grow weary of this…this tedious waiting.” His voice was slow and gravely.

Snape’s skin was crawling as he noticed the still erect shaft poking up through the open robe.

He coughed again and then leaned back rubbing a hand along his crotch. He grunted and looked at Snape. His free hand went to the back of Snape’s head and pulled it forcefully into his lap. “Show your loyalty, Severus. Show me who rules your soul.”

Severus fought the instinct to vomit and closed his eyes before taking the hard cock into his mouth.

Voldemort’s body arched forward with the pleasure of the wet mouth. He had had three men that night, taking the strength from each of them, but not once had he felt the bliss of completion. He fixed both hands on his servant’s head and began to thrust fiercely into his mouth.

Severus began gagging unable to control what was being forced into him. The grunting growling hisses sickened his stomach. He could taste the bile rising. He flung a hand out and slashed his sharp fingernails against the Dark Lord’s chest.

Voldemort coughed and laughed as he pitched his come into Severus’ choking throat. He tossed the man aside violently, sending him sprawling on the floor.

Severus looked back in time to see the whip lash lightening fast across his thigh and tear at his trousers. He tired to scurry away but the whip kept coming eventually slashing away enough fabric to find the delicate flesh beneath. The Dark Lord looked truly monstrous now standing over him in the dim light sending wave after wave of painful stokes. Snape was so riddled with pain he could no longer move. He felt he weight of the old man descend on him. Claw like hands ripped away his clothing until he lay on the floor bare. “No,” he begged.

“Oh god you are exciting, Severus.!” Voldemort reached out eagerly to touch the torn flesh. “ Malfoy and the others…they’re just so boring….they’re only good for feeding…” Voldemort ran his withered hands over the soft bloody flesh, he bent down to lick at the wounds he had made. ‘Oh but YOU!!!! Do you know why they bore me?” He rolled Snape over on to his front and pushed a hand between his thighs.

Snape had a hard time keeping his wits about him. It was all moving so painfully fast. He couldn’t keep up. Something stiff and cold prodded his entrance. “Stop,” Snape whimpered in vain.

Voldemort rubbed the handle of the whip against Severus’ tight hole. “They bore me because they not longer RE-SIST ME!” He rammed the whip deep and hard into Snape.

Snape screamed with the blinding pain. Though the whip was thin and slick, with god only knows what, it still burned into his tender flesh. Voldemort drove it in and out relentlessly until finally, he caused enough pain and damage that Snape lost consciousness.

***

Dumbledore motioned for Harry to sit down.

“You have a heavy heart.”

“I just keep wondering if I’m going to let them all down? Are they going to have died in vain?”

“Dying for a just cause is never a death in vain, Harry.”

“But I can’t loose…. I just can’t.” //not again// Harry rest his hand on his hands.

Dumbledore put a soft hand on Harry’s back “Listen to yourself, Harry. Are you afraid of fighting Voldemort? Or are you afraid of something far greater, something more important to you than even your life?”

He didn’t want to admit it but there was nothing he could hide from this man. “I can’t loose anyone else. I can’t …loose him.” Harry felt the hot teas burn a trail down his cheeks. “I feel so guilty, cause I don’t care what happens as long as he’s ok. As long as we are together…”

“It’s all right Harry. Nobility has its limits. Having someone to fight for, someone to protect, can make you strong. He’s what you’ve needed all along to defeat Voldemort. He is your source. Not a source of power or strength, but a source of love.” Dumbledore pushed the hair from Harry’s brow and ran his fingers over the scar. “Love was the weapon that protected you in the past and love will be your weapon to wield in the future.”

“I don’t understand.”

“When you need to, you will. Now it’s late, how about joining me for a bite?”

Harry nodded his head and diligently followed the old wizard.

***

Snape came to with a jolt. He was lying on the bed now. His wounds, unlike Malfoy’s, had been tended to, though he had no coverings. He neither heard nor felt the Dark Lord in the room. His body ached. He wondered what despicable things had happened to him while he lay unconscious. Maybe it was best not to know. Snape closed his eyes and meditated on Harry. Slowly the vision of a book came into focus. He could hear the flip of paper as delicate fingers turned the page.

//’Harry?’//

“Severus! Are you ok?” A wave a relief fell over Harry.

//’I’m fine, I only have a moment. Do you know where I am?’//

“120 Kilometers past Hogsmead. Down this old abandoned road.”

// ‘Good’//

“Do you know when you’ll get to come back?”

//’Not for a while. I still don’t know why I was summoned.’//

“You mean you’re there alone?”

// ‘In a manner of speaking.’// Snape was exhausted. He really wished he could be holding Harry. // ‘Will you do something for me?’//

“What?”

//’Walk over and look into the mirror for me.’//

“I don’t know, I’ve had dodgy luck with mirrors today.” Harry walked over to the mirror and made a little wave.

As he expected the man was naked. Snape savored the image of the long lean form. He had taken out many of the memories of that body before leaving. The sight of Harry brought a lump to Snape’s throat. His state of exhaustion made him susceptible to emotions. The stoic mask he had fashioned slipped and he was sure he was trembling.

// ‘I have to go.’//

Harry reached out to the mirror as if he could touch his mate and stop him from leaving.

“Be safe and come home, soon.”

// ‘I will.’//

Severus carefully put his emotional mask back in its place. He could feel him approaching. Soon, he heard someone entering the room. The bed jostled and sagged. The hollow deep breathing filled the silent room. He flinched as a hand drug across his bare arm.

“Hmmmm..” Voldemort glided over ten tender abused flesh. He grew impatient; the need to take was insistent. Wasting no time, he pushed Severus onto his back and laid his body down on top of him. “Oh yesssss, Severus.” He licked at his captives face and neck.

//Not again. // Snape forced himself to lie still and take the man’s advances. “Is this all you brought me here for?”

The Dark Lord fondled his unwilling partner. He eased himself down to between Snape’s legs and began to taste the flaccid sex. “Actually I did hope there was some interesting news?”

Unable to hold himself any more Snape sat up, shoving the man away. “Stop it.”

Voldemort looked his disobedient servant in the eye and smiled. Snape turned away from him. “You really don’t like me do you, Severus?” He reached out, grabbing Snape’s face and whipped it back to face him. “So why do you choose to serve me?”

“It was simply a matter of divining who would win.”

Voldemort advanced on him again with a gleam in his deadly eyes. He took Snape’s mouth in a brutal kiss. “ I do so love the taste of raw ambition.”

Snape struggled and fought letting his disgust for the Dark Lord’s touch show.

//Yes, fight me struggle against me!// Voldemort marveled at the power of the man beneath him. He wanted to taste that power, to feed on it. The blood in his veins sang out to take it. He hadn’t planned on using Severus this way but his greed and lust overpowered him. He would have the man, all of him!

Snape new he shouldn’t fight. If he submitted it would over. He would be boring like all the others. Snape couldn’t just give in and let the monster have him; he had given himself to Harry so he felt he had to fight. He tried to distract the vulgar man with information. “They’re looking for something…they don’t know what it is…some kind of source of power or weapon.”

“I will win,” Voldemort cackled finally pinning the struggling body beneath him, paying no heed to the information. “Yes, I will overpower them,” Voldemort shoved himself roughly into position, “Just as I’m doing to you!” He thrust his body up and inside Snape. The hot pleasure that accompanied his feeding was all around him. He heaved and thrust listening to the music of the man suffering beneath He He waited for the surge of power that would accompany the moment when Snape’s life force flowed back into him. He fucked the body long and hard, pushing in deep, feeling the other’s cries of agony fuel his burning passion. But something was wrong. It was taking too long. His energy was abating not growing. The longer he worked at it the more tired he became. The sexual pleasure was all there was // Where? Where is it? NO, this is wrong.// He punished Snape with harder thrusts searching in vain for the life force he could take, but never found it. His body came inside Snape and he pulled himself free. He had never been denied the taking. He shook with anger, furious at the man curled into a heap on the bed. //How can he resist me?// In seconds the whip was in his hands. He slammed the handle down against his servant’s face. He stood at the foot of the bed staring at his miserable servant who had somehow betrayed him. “You are dismissed,” hissed the Dark Lord as he tore from the room.

Snape was startled and confused. In his years of serving the Dark Lord he had given up his body before but it had never been this brutal or ended quite like that. //He’s angry. About what?// Snape tried to move. He felt the blood running down his face, the ache in his legs and hips. Finally the realization that he could leave came to him. He could go home; home to Harry. Weak and in pain he inched his way off the bed. The room swam as he stood up. He was desperate to leave so he forced his vision to focus. He found his cloak in mostly one piece and wrapped it around his battered body. His head throbbed and his legs staggered. // Outside, I’ll be better outside. I can apperate into the shrieking shack and take the passage back. Yes, outside, I’ll be fine.//

~TBC~