Reflections of Erised

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. All Characters of the Potter universe alas belong to JK Rowling.


Chapter Six: Something in common with Harry


Severus dropped exhausted into his chair dropping his head into the soft leather. The Order meeting had not been the best. ‘Who are you trying to fool Quidditch matches between Slytherin and Gryffindor have been less brutal.’ It started with the Orders anger over not being informed immediately. Kingsley highly disagreed with their use of the Kepher Sa because it was a dark potion, then the arguments commenced about how to conduct a battle in the middle of a school full of children.

His arguments had gone along the lines of how would they be able to trap the Death Eaters if the students were dismissed ahead of time. Then the concept had come up about illusions; there was not one strong enough to mimic about a thousand students. Lupin had argued about Harry and the potion vehemently. Bloody wolf…why couldn’t he go howl at the moon or something? His head throbbed from pain, that had been worse then crucio. His honor and the honor of his godson had been brought into question. To make matters worse the fate of the Wizarding world and his own life was in the hands of these ignoramuses, Muddleheaded, bloody useless at a single concise thought pattern, dunderheads…maybe he had been a Professor too long? He was censoring his own cursing.

To make matters worse he had a first year Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff double potions in ten minutes. Wonderful! At least this would be the last time he would see their dear blank little faces for the entire summer. ‘Ah yes the summer…why are you kidding yourself?’ He would never live to the summer…was never meant to…didn’t deserve too.
He lifted himself woodenly from the chair and stalked swiftly to his potions class almost possessed.

The class was darker. The student’s seemed more vulnerable their naivety heart breaking and yet comforting to his torn mindset. The mistakes were not as idiotic to him they were almost understanding. He was remembering himself as a young boy making mistakes with a simple potion; His teacher had done quick corrections to student’s potions without saying a word. He had noticed his odd behavior when a student nearly fell over their stool when he corrected a potion quickly instead of sneering at them over the mistake. He did slightly sneer and mention a trip to Madam Pomfrey for nerves but that was all. It did not seem in him to be deliberately cruel this day.

The day wasn’t all-bad, he was pleased to see his seventh year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw would be graduating with an adequate knowledge of potions. His mood had lightened once he remembered Hermione would be helping him with the potion in his private lab latter. He would have to come up with a good reason for her to be in his class after hours…incase some of his house brought the knowledge back to the Dark Lord. He would see her…he would be in her presence for about four hours during the brewing. He almost smiled, an intelligent woman who didn’t hold him in disgust. ‘Severus are you ten? About to send a note that says I like you to a girl?’

Snape snorted sometimes he thought if the students could hear the own scathing comments he gave himself, they would feel much better. He knew most of the students thought he was superior…well he was more intelligent then them certainly. Yet he a reasonably intelligent…know-it-all (his mind snickered) had been taken in by the promises of knowledge and power given by a half blood mad man. He had allowed his anger at the world to blind him to signing his soul to a devil. ‘My that was a little dramatic?’ his mind reminded him. He had committed countless atrocities he didn’t want to think about. He thought of them now.

His eyes glazed over to his unaware class. He had taken woman without consent at the Dark revels in the beginning. For the first three months his hate at the world and himself had seemed to drive him. His mind had contemplated such practices as to make him retch in retrospect…and he had been willing eager. The darkness he had read for years about, the darkness he had worshiped secretly in his mind between taunts and ridicule was there asking him to become her apprentice. It was never about Voldemort…no it was access to the darkness and his access to it’s altar. He might for those three months he had been the most exceptional apprentice he had never shirked a task or failed to give an offering.

This had continued until the day he had refused a request the day he had the veil removed from the darkness to hear the insane request of a madman. The girl had been less then ten…he had been told to provide entertainment for the revel. He had refused. The darkness no longer held comfort or power it cast a mirror on all he had ever been accused of that now was true. He was up to his eyeballs in the dark arts more so. He was drowning in his own creation. He was alone the darkness was part of him not power or secret knowledge it was him. The girl was killed quickly and for the first time of what seemed forever he was the entertainment. Ah yes that’s when it happened. Severus Snape you’ve just been analy raped by the Dark Lord, What are you going to do now? I’m going to confess everything to Dumbledore, and prove to him he was right. That was the part that still stung the most.

Classes were over for the day. His mind had stopped taunting him with his past crimes, at least for a while. He had given all the classes their final test today. Attendance of the last class was optional. The students had looked at him like he’s grown to heads or a halo was over his head but hadn’t questioned his temporary insanity. His generosity had a motive; he would then have all of Thursday morning to hopefully cuddle something besides his pillow. As much as he thought himself low he could not give her up. He had to have her. He wanted not be alone with the darkness for once in his life; he had to leave something behind in this world. ‘Should I brake out a violin to listen to you, without puking?’ Did he have feelings for her…what a ridiculous question?

A booming noise quickly drew his attention to the fireplace; inside it was the floating green head of the Headmaster. “My dear boy may I have a word?”

Was this about him threatening to hex Lupin inside out? Whenever the headmaster called him a dear anything he knew something was up. He glared at the fireplace.

Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled “Is afternoon tea fine.”

“It is well past twelve o clock the dark haired wizard snarked back.

The headmaster laughed not even annoyed. “Wonderful…I’ll see you in my office then.”

Ah yes, thought Severus…his day had just become better.

Classes had just finished for the day Hagrid had released them from the next and last class. All professors usually had only one class for the last week of the year. The only exception was professor Snape who refused to start vacation early.

“Heh Mione didn’t you hear?” shouted an excited Ron rushing in to her head girls room.

“Hear what Ron?” said a slightly disturbed Hermione. She had been reading an interesting and possibly useful spell in the gray book.

“That the great bat of the dungeons actually gave today’s classes the next class…optional.” Ron said for great emphasis pleased at spreading the unheard of news.

“The only problem Ron is we still have classes tomorrow.” Said Harry disgusted, coming up the stairs.

“Harry we have to there’s no other way to do it.”

“I know that Hermione! Couldn’t you have come up with some other plan?”

“I’m sorry Harry…but I couldn’t see any other way…I have been told the Dark Lord questions everything Severus presents him.”

Harry raise d his brow slightly at the use of his professor’s first name but stayed silent. Ron did not hear Hermione’s slip. His nose was stuck in the gray book entranced by the words inside and memorizing spells with a tactical mind. It appeared Snape’s attraction charm worked well on Ron.

“Besides…”

“Besides…if I’m being humiliated …yet again no one will question the taint in the blood. The dark Lord when he looks into the minds of his followers will find what he wants to find.”

Hermione looked at Harry amazed and proud at his deductions. “Precisely.”



A girls red head was lowered into the pages of a book in the darkest corner of the library. She flipped quickly through the book. Her hands flipped pages without recognition. How was she going to last a summer without talking to him or even writing. He insisted he would write to her, but believed it too dangerous for her to write back. How did she a rather intelligent witch fall for a Death Eater spy and a Malfoy at that? She had disliked the boy since her first year. He was arrogant, cocky. In the middle of her first year however she could recognize the shadows in his eyes.

Ginny found it strange, if she had not been possessed by the diary she would never had seen beyond his surface nastiness. She had caught glimpses of him, and felt slight compassion for the rich git. He always seemed to be alone at times even when surrounded by Slytherin students. It was like he was under a trance or compulsion, like the reflections she saw in her own eyes in her first year. What would it be like being the son of a Death Eater? It was probably not that different from following the directions of a possessed diary, or else. Not that the life of the golden boy of Slytherin really concerned her…just a thought now and then.

It wasn’t until he returned after his sixth year. He still had his two bodyguards Crabe and Goyle, or dummy one and dummy two. But many times both goons could be seen without their apparent master. She had stumbled across him one time when she was leaving from a date rather angry. Dean while nice was pushing for a relationship. She was just entering her fifth year and was too young for a serious relationship.

She noticed him sitting in one of the out of the way outdoor archways. He appeared different his platinum hair was out of style and kind of long. His body was sitting boneless on a bench like a puppet whose strings had been cut. The beginning of school had been rough on him she noticed. Harry and Ron weren’t exactly the nicest to him. with his father in Azkaban, the other students even members of his own house had not been either she noticed. Considering what had happened to her because of the elder Malfoy she hated the bastard but she didn’t hold his son responsible for his actions.
Besides that year while his attitude towards others had been rather snarky he had taken no actions against any of his tormentors.

He had looked more depressed then anything. She had commented about it once to Hermione in the presence of Harry and Ron, and they had just joked about it. He had looked up slightly paranoid when she approached, his arm reaching for his pocket. He looked up to see her and lowered hid hand allowing it to relax in the boneless manner he had adopted before.

“What do you want Weasley?” he almost growled but it sounded tired.

Well what could she do? She saw no reason to lie. “I’m concerned about you.”

He laughed a short sarcastic bark. “Is this some bet of Potters?” He said casting his cold blue eyes on her.

‘Well that git, she tried to be nice.’

“I’m doing well thank you very much, my father is in Azkaban as you and the whole school knows.” He said sharply before turning his head to ignore her. His voice at the part about his father in prison had sounded almost relieved. She remembered noticing that while he had shadows in eyes they had not looked hunted for a while. He turned around and looked at her surprised to still see her there. “Still there? If your going to hex me do it now…I don’t particularly care.”

Well there was something she always wanted to ask him, kind of an odd curiosity. “Well I was wondering about Crabe and Goyle, do they belong to you like pets?”

He blinked at her, his usually shocked aristocratic features lax in surprise. He then looked into her eyes seriously considering the question. “In truth I’d say their stupid vicious guard dogs that serve several masters. If your going to stay you might as well sit…it’s more difficult to throw a curse sitting down.” He said as he sat up strait the boneless effect gone.

“That’s what you think…I have six brothers, I can cast a hex upside down.” She said with pride in her voice. Sitting down next to him at a comfortable distance.

“What is it like to have siblings?”

She looked at the normally prideful boy surprised. What an odd question from a Malfoy. “Why do you want to know?” She studied him his eyes closed before he spoke.

“None of your business Weasley.” His voice was rather cold…his voice usually sounded haunty and arrogant but never cold.
What a git! She thought as she rose from the seat prepared to leave. She was nutters for talking to him any way. “ Well then you don’t want to know…can’t you ask a Slytherin?”

“I thought you said you were…concerned about me.” He sneered to her retreating back.

She turned around her hands at her hips tapping. “I think I’m bloody nutters that I am! I have a name too you know it’s…”

“Ginevra.” He said smiling slyly.

She didn’t know whether to hex him because he said it or because she didn’t mind he said it. She stared at him blankly. As he got up elegantly from the bench walked right past her and left.

Her memories of the occasion were interrupted by an itch in her nose. Yet another thing she should hex him for. She pulled out the little rolled note.

Eight o clock
Meet me at the arch
VT

What ever could that be about? She was glad she’d get to see him before summer break; she didn’t want to think about how she would feel after next year when they couldn’t meet. The war had to end, and soon. She didn’t want to see him hurt anymore. It was obvious to her she had strong feelings for Draco, maybe even loved him. After all he had even had her concerned about that git Snape. Snape wasn’t that bad it seemed becoming a spy for the Order brought out the snarkyness in anyone…even Draco. Well his spending the summer with the professor did help. However something had to be wrong, or it was very important…they only met under that arch then.



Severus sat in the headmaster’s office. Dumbledore had just commented on his kind thought of making the last day of potions optional, while his eyes twinkled merrily the entire time,
Almost seeming to flash I-know-something-you-don’t-know.

“Severus how is your stewardship of the mirror commencing?”

‘Why did he ask about the sodding mirror?’ He glanced around, he had thought it impossible for the headmaster to somehow put more items on his shelves but he had succeeded. “Well.” He answered begrudgingly

“Good to hear. Did you perhaps take a glimpse into the mirror?” the headmaster said in a more serious voice.

Ah finally we get to why the old goat invited me here. (Did he know about my plans for Hermione?) He couldn’t.

“You know not everyone sees material gain in the mirror or glory…some see other things that have been or could have been. I know of one young man who sees something he was never meant to have.”

(So he did know about his plans for the girl…bugger)

“As a matter of fact you know this man Severus…I would say rather well.”

“Indeed.” ‘Did the old man have to be riddle like subtle about everything? (Couldn’t he say Severus I know your planning on seducing a student and that’s a big no-no or something?)

Dumbledore laughed…were they talking about the same thing? “No my dear boy not yourself…someone rather similar.”

‘What the man was playing with my mind the entire time.’ The younger man raised an eyebrow, highly annoyed ‘Do tell.’

He waved his hand to a dish. “Lemon drop?” I don’t believe so lemon head, on with your notion I’m going to hear about whether I want to or not.’

“Severus this young man looked into the mirror many times and has only seen one thing. Many of the desires the mirror reveals change as the heart changes. But for this young man it was always the same. I found him visiting the mirror nightly to gaze into its hopeless reflection for what could never be. This obsession became dangerous and I had to move the mirror for the sanity of the boy.” Albus stooped to give him a knowing look…he remembered and was reminding Severus about when he himself was warned from the mirror.”

Was he being warned away from the mirror…then why did he give it to him to hide? Many times Albus made no sense.

“However unlike this young man your vision has a chance of becoming reality.”

‘He was not being warned away from Granger.”

“However I believe the truth should be revealed to all involved.” He started piercingly into his black eyes.

He blinked…Albus wanted him to tell Hermione the truth.

“I find it interesting Severus that two boys from different backgrounds could be similar. Both boys were not used to love, did not know how to accept friendship, they same ambition to prove their worth, have had very tragic childhoods, also have had to grow up a great deal before their time…However both also have the same desperate desire in their hearts. You Severus have many things in common with Mr. Potter.

************************************ ***********************************
AN: Thank you to all who review. This chapter is dedicated to EJ and June W.
As for Harry’s virginity I thought a boy who had a dark prophesy over his head and brought general danger to all who cared about him, would choose not to get involved in a serious relationship.