Crossing the Line

Chapter 6: Denial is the Longest River in the World


Severus spent the early morning leisurely, doing research over some breakfast he ordered down from the kitchens while waiting for Harry. There still was no potion to help vampires without donors; it was something he had tried almost his entire career to correct. Unfortunately, there seemed to be no viable substitute for blood.

Having reached another dead end, Severus closed his book and returned to the notes he\'d made on Harry\'s progress, or lack thereof. Admittedly, his original results were disheartening, but judging from the weight that seemed to have lifted from his shoulders in the last couple of days (regardless of how large or small that weight turned out to be in the end) Severus believed they\'d finally be able to make some progress today and, with magic driven by emotions, success could only build on success. And he very much wanted Harry to succeed for more reasons then simply helping end the war at last. He liked the bond of friendship the training seemed to have brought out in them. Admittedly, it was much nicer and easier than trying to bite Harry\'s head off. That, of course, wouldn\'t stop him from biting other people\'s heads off. He was still Severus Snape, after all.

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Rapping with his customary two knocks on Severus\' door, Harry waited for the mumbled consent and entered. Although he was definitely feeling better today, it didn\'t necessarily mean he looked like he did. Last night he had practiced the meditation keeping Severus\' \'presence\' in the back of his mind. While three out of five times he\'d come to a halt when Voldemort interfered, he\'d eventually succeeded in forming the wand the other two.

Crossing the room, he sank into the armchair, facing both the fire and Severus, who was bent over the armrest of the chair with his notes. Spotting a book on the coffee table, he leant forward and took a look at it, discovering he couldn\'t read a single thing on the old leather cover. He glanced up at the other man, commenting, \"Nosferatu, I assume?\" he tilted his head when Severus nodded. \"Why are you researching your own magic? Don\'t you know all there is to know about it?\" he asked, generally confused.

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\"I know all there is to know about it with regards to myself,\" Severus stated. \"I\'m trying to see if there\'s anything I can do with potions to help vampires without donors. Every 1/16 vampire and more will die if they don\'t feed at certain times, but not all find a donor they trust. Not to mention, even if there\'s no chance of you dying, those monthly fits aren\'t at all fun. It\'s just frustrating because blood sausage serum is the closest anyone has ever come and that hardly does anything at all.\" Severus frowned, looking down at his lap he scratched his neck absently.

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Maybe he could be Severus\' donor? It would help Severus live a better life, and he would probably look and feel healthier with real human blood in him. Harry trusted the older man, so that was no problem, even if he was nervous about the whole ordeal, but he wasn\'t sure if Severus trusted him enough to accept him as his donor. He should know that Harry would never hurt him and, when he was vulnerable, he would do everything in his power to make sure he was safe while feeding. Although he still didn\'t understand the exact effects that the human experienced when being fed on.

\"I could be your donor,\" he finally said, rather bluntly. Well, the offer was out there now, although Severus would probably turn it down.

He felt an odd ache in his stomach at the thought of Severus not trusting him.

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Severus looked up at Harry in great shock, though he really shouldn\'t have been. It was always like Gryffindors to be blunt. His first instinct was to say \'no\' immediately, but, with Harry at least, he\'d learned to actually consider things logically before he started snapping. He studied Harry carefully knowing he\'d meant the offer sincerely. Severus had no doubts on that score, but he also knew Harry didn\'t know everything a feeding entailed.

Picking his words with care, for he wanted to try and make the man see he was not trying to undermine him for his ignorance in the matter, something he knew Harry hated, he said slowly, \"Harry, feeding is a very intimate experience. I\'d basically be necking you; only on your part it would be a great deal more intense than necking.\" Severus paused, but never broke eye contact with Harry. \"I wouldn\'t be surprised if it caused you to orgasm. Many human friends agree to be donors without understanding this and afterwards they feel as if they\'ve been used. I don\'t want you to have to go through that.\"

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A light blush stained Harry\'s cheeks at the thought of coming while Severus was necking him. He had a strong feeling he wouldn\'t feel \'used\', to use the other man\'s word. He wasn\'t afraid to admit (to himself, anyway) that he really did like this man. Hell, hadn\'t he just been thinking last night how he wanted to pursue a relationship with the man after the war and that\'s why he was going to fight?

He did feel somewhat better that Severus hadn\'t out and out said \'no\', and he had at least given it some thought. Maybe he did trust him then.

Raking a hand through his loose hair, Harry gave a small grin. \"That doesn\'t bother me.\" His grin quickly turned into a frown at the thought that it might bother Severus and he didn\'t really see Harry in that way. No, it didn\'t matter. Feelings could be changed, and when Harry won the war, he would make the effort to get into a long lasting relationship with the other man. \"I understand if you\'re uncomfortable with that,\" he shrugged lightly, \"but really, I don\'t mind.\"

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Severus studied Harry intently for a few moments as though not quite sure what to make of him. Against the cynical side of himself, he did trust Harry, knowing he\'d never hurt him. Whatever Slytherin tendencies he might have, Harry was beyond doubt, a Gryffindor. No one could deny offering to be a donor took great trust and loyalty. Severus wasn\'t sure why that touched him so much... but it did.

\"If you\'re sure,\" he murmured quietly and got a quick nod from Harry. \"I accept your offer. You can back out at any time if you feel uncomfortable.\"

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Harry smiled brightly, highly doubtful he would feel uncomfortable and back out. \"When do you need to feed? Is it just when the new moon is out?\" he asked, tilting his head questioningly. He would be disappointed if Severus only needed him for one day of the month.

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More relaxed than when he normally taught something, Severus began, \"Technically, a vampire should feed every day to be at full power, but the pains only come once a month; it\'s the time their power gets recharged. The blood they imbibe over the month lends them power so that they aren\'t vulnerable during that one day. The donor never \'runs out\' of blood. The chemicals in a vampire\'s saliva help blood recharge itself in an hour and generally help the donor as much as the blood helps the vampire. Nature, it seems, worked thing out very well in that respect.\"

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Harry sat back in his chair, taking it all in. It was kind of sad how the prospect of Severus taking blood from him every day made him almost giddy. Sad indeed. \"So would you need to feed every day, and then feed for a longer period of time during the new moon so your energy recharges?\" He had to admit that just the thought of Severus \'necking\' him, made him hard. After crossing his light blue, jean clad legs, he absentmindedly scratched his wrist underneath the long, black, somewhat tight pullover shirt. An old scar that matched the one on his left wrist bugged him. He hated the phantom pains that came with most of his scars.

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\"That\'s about it,\" Severus conferred as he studied Harry\'s shifting. \"It may seem like just a physical act, but it\'s quite a magical one, too. You\'ll never retain a scar from it for one. The energies of the two people mingle and spells to benefit either person can be woven into the feeding with prior incantations.\"

He wasn\'t sure what exactly, possessed these things to be spilling from his lips, but he knew how much Harry hated his scars and he wanted to thank him somehow for being a friend. \"If you want me to, Harry, I can weave spells into the magic to make your scars fade away. If you\'re my donor for an extended period of time, they\'ll probably disappear for good.\"

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Harry\'s eyes widened at the thought of finally getting rid of his scars although, looking down at his wrists where the perfect circle shaped scars resided from being chafed by manacles, Harry wondered if it would be good to get rid of all his scars. Sure, they came with phantom pains, but he\'d get over it eventually and wouldn\'t it just be vain?

Looking back up at Severus he frowned slightly, thinking that maybe this was one of the ways that he wanted to help Harry and who was he to reject that? \"I don\'t want to get rid of all of them since I think it would be considered vain, but is it possible to just get rid of one? I have a rather gruesome scar that runs across my stomach underneath my navel.\"

Seeing Severus\' raised brows, he elaborated, \"It\'s from when someone caught me putting poison into his friend\'s drink and tried to gut me. Which, I have to admit, he almost succeeded.\" He absentmindedly traced the long scar just underneath his jeans. \"It\'s the only scar I have that gives me real pain. The other ones are just phantom pains, and I know I\'ll get over them sooner or later, but the one on my stomach gives me a lot of stomachaches.\"

Harry sighed and rested his head back against the headrest. \"The other ones bother me and they are somewhat revolting, but they\'re not that bad.\" It would be nice to have them lighter though, but he didn\'t want to sound picky or vain.

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\"As you wish,\" Severus replied solemnly from his armchair. \"Regardless of any spells I put in though, some of your scars may start to get lighter, it\'s the non-scarring agent in my magic and in the saliva of the bite.\" Harry really hadn\'t had it easy he mused again, not liking how much that bothered him. He had hardly had it easy either, but, however irrational, the feeling remained. He\'d do what he could to help Harry through the rest of the war. God knows it was about time someone decided to help him without ulterior motives.

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Harry tried not to smile goofily at that. He was glad to hear that most of his scars would lighten. Maybe the one on his cheek would get light enough he could get rid of the glamour charm he put on in public. He had a strong urge to get up and hug the man, but he doubted it would be welcome. \"Would you want to see me every night, or in the mornings?\"

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\"Whatever time is best for you, I\'m not picky about when I feed.\" Severus paused and quickly swept his mind through all the specifics of feeding; it really had been too long. \"To specifically get rid of that particular scar though, Harry, I\'d need to place my hand over it while \'feeding.\' Just to let you know.\"

Severus grumbled in his thoughts, \'Damn the Gryffindor for making this so easy.\' Every other time he\'d made an agreement for a donor to last more than one feeding, it had always been tense and unfriendly negotiations, but this came as easily and comfortably with Harry as casual conversation.

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Frowning, Harry placed his hand over the scar, somewhat nervous about having Severus see it. \"Okay,\" he finally said, noticing that Severus was looking at him, something akin to concern in his eyes. He looked up again and met the other\'s gaze. \"Can I come tonight, after dinner maybe?\" he waited for the older man\'s nod, before going back to what he\'d originally been invited for.

\"You wanted to have another go at the meditation? I practiced last night, and while Voldemort invaded about three times out of the five that I tried, I did finally transform the magic into a wand.\" Feeling Severus\' concerned gaze on him, he continued, \"It was nothing. I coughed up some blood, and I had a bit of trouble sleeping.\" He motioned towards the faint bruises under his eyes. \"And for some reason my eyes were red when I looked in the bathroom, but I\'m fine. At least I finally managed to do it,\" he added, with a small grin.

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He repressed a shiver, remembering the first time they had done the mediation and Harry\'s beautiful emerald eyes had turned crimson. It reminded him too much of Voldemort, he could only imagine what it had been like for Harry to see it. Shaking his head, Severus focused on the younger man.

Chuckling softly at Harry\'s grin, he shook his head ruefully. \"I\'m proud that you accomplished our original goal. Arrogant Gryffindor,\" though he said everything without the slightest bit of snarkiness, for the moment anyway. \"It\'s a good thing nothing more serious happened. I know it\'s hard, but try not to do anything stupid like that when I\'m not there to help you if things go wrong. All right?\" Again Severus spoke with the casual affection that comes between friends, but it still earned a half-hearted glare from Harry.

\"Well then,\" he said, rising from his chair and clearing the coffee table away as usual. \"I suggest we work on forming that wand until you can do it near instantaneously in your mind\'s eye. Then, we can start casting spells.\" He assumed the position in front of the fireplace before looking up at Harry. \"Ready for another go?\"

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The young man nodded and sat facing the fire with his back firmly pressed against Severus\'. Not needing to listen to the other man\'s orders, he quickly went into the meditative trance, remembering to picture Severus there behind him. Until he actually \'felt\' the presence behind him, meaning that Severus had finally joined him, Harry pictured his magical orb, the customary light green and white lights dancing around them, and encircling Severus in a rather provocative way. Harry called the orb to him, picturing in his mind what he was fighting for, for the warm presence at his back always there and never yielding; the magic quickly formed into a wand, identical to Harry\'s own.

He held it in his hand for several moments, enjoying the rush of power entering his body from just holding his essence. He slowly let it go, back into his being. Every time he did this, he noticed that the power seemed to dance just close to the surface out of his grasp, but he felt that if he called on it, it would answer readily.

Sinking out of their meditative trances, Harry leaned his head back, letting it rest against Severus\' own. \"So, how was that?\" he asked quietly.

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Severus, not meditating, but with his eyes still closed, smiled, despite the fact that Harry couldn\'t see him and murmured, \"Very good, Harry. You\'re getting better at controlling the more abstract part of your magic. That will help a great deal.\" He paused for a moment before continuing onto the second issue he called Harry here to discuss.

\"When you feel confident enough with these meditations, you might want to try seizing your power like that in the mediation, in your mind\'s eye and try doing simple spells as such. It\'s not really the point of why you\'re learning this magic, but it will come in handy and I don\'t teach anything halfway.\" He smirked at Harry\'s snort. \"Also, I thought I should explain to you exactly what we\'re working towards with this magic.\"

He took a long breath before launching into the explanation. \"You must remember, Harry, that Nosferatu blood is strong. No matter how diluted it is, someone with vampire blood will always have the natural talent for the magic. With humans it\'s much different. Regular humans cannot handle it until reaching adulthood when their emotions are under their control. Then they must have a natural inclination for it, which you seem to have. Probably the only reason Dumbledore didn\'t suggest this earlier is because of the complications that could have risen between you and Voldemort if he had a talent for it as well.

\"Before you began to meditate the second time, I sent my own powers discreetly out to feel his. He doesn\'t have a talent for it like you do, but the bond still makes it dangerous. That\'s why I always want to be present for the meditations, so I might do something if something goes wrong. I\'m trying to form a battle plan as to how your bond with Voldemort will affect the magic. That\'s going to be the focus of the Order meeting because there\'s very little to predict Voldemort\'s moves.

\"Once you are strong enough you might be able to use your own power to filter into his, but he\'s going to fight you like hell and, although he doesn\'t have the talent for Nosferatu magic like you do, you\'re nowhere near ready for that yet. But you will be.\"

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Harry sighed and moved his head so it was resting back against Severus\' shoulder and he was looking up at the ceiling. He frowned, thinking about their bond. There had always been a question nagging at him ever since he\'d learned of it. \"Do you think that it\'s possible for him to kill me through the bond? But he just hasn\'t found a way yet? Considering he can make me cough-up blood, I would assume he could make me do worse.\" Would all this training be a waste? If Voldemort figured out how to connect fully with him through the bond and effectively kill him or at least drive him into insanity, then it would all be a waste of time and effort.

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Severus let out a weary sigh and leaned back against Harry in a similar fashion. \"It\'s a possibility Harry,\" he admitted quietly. \"A very dangerous one, but Voldemort does not have the talent for Nosferatu magic that you do and I believe that will make all the difference.\" Severus paused slightly. \"I wouldn\'t have agreed to teach you if I didn\'t think, after all these years of war, that your connection with Voldemort might be the only way to stop him once and for all.\"

Severus paused thoughtfully and mused, \"Actually, I wouldn\'t be surprised if your talent for Nosferatu magic is what saved your life and created the bond between the two of you in the first place.\" It was ironic how the one thing that saved Harry\'s life in the past could potentially kill him now.

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Harry frowned, thinking it over. There was a possibility that at any time Voldemort could figure out how to get through to the bond enough to kill Harry off, but he wouldn\'t let that happen. Training with Severus and getting stronger was his only chance against Voldemort. To always keep one step ahead of him with knowing a branch of magic that he didn\'t.

\"If Nosferatu magic is my only chance then how come all the other vampires haven\'t just ganged up and defeated Voldemort? What chance do I have if hundreds, or how ever many there are of people like you, can\'t defeat him?\"

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\"I and other vampires like myself have tried numerous times with Voldemort, but he was either too fast, too well hidden, or too vastly protected. Basically everything that has stopped you, thus far, from defeating him has stopped us, but you\'re different in one very important way. That scar on your forehead gives you a link to Voldemort that will enable you to grab at his magic directly and expel it from him without even being near him. Nothing could kill him faster.

\"Nevertheless, like that one time your wands faced off, it will mean a battle of who is willing to push the limits more. Talent or no talent, he won\'t be easy to beat. If your progress continues like it has been, it will only be a matter of time before you can face him. And once you get a grip on his magic, he won\'t have a prayer,\" Severus explained, trying to reassure the younger man.

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Harry sighed and finally stood up slowly, shrugging his shoulders lightly so Severus wouldn\'t fall back from the movement. Walking around the other man, he used both hands to heave the older man off the ground, grinning when the man stumbled and almost knocked him over. \"Clumsy as always,\" he whispered. Severus just shook his head and backed up, turning around to put the coffee table to its rightful size and place.

\"So, you wanted to talk about the Order meeting? Or are we just going there to talk about my progress?\" Harry sighed at the idea. He wasn\'t looking forward to talking to the group of people. The only person he knew there was Remus. Since Sirius was killed, Remus didn\'t talk to Harry anymore because, he assumed, Remus probably blamed the death on Harry. It was his fault after all. If it hadn\'t been for Harry\'s reckless behavior, then Sirius never would have tried to \'save him\'.

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\"Yes, I did want to talk to you about that.\" Severus sat down in his armchair. \"The whole point of it will be to update the members on any new news from Voldemort that wasn\'t safe to Owl, informing the others of the training you\'re under and discussing how to get rid of the Death Eaters and the rest of Voldemort\'s cohorts. I\'m warning you that not a lot of people trust vampires because of the whole blood-sucking thing. There will be questions directed your way and mine.\" He saw Harry\'s shoulders slump and added, \"I know you\'re under a lot of pressure so I\'ll try to answer most of them.\"

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Sinking into his own chair, Harry looked over at the older man, waving a hand dismissively. \"It\'s okay. I\'m not the only one under pressure. Since you started training me, it will also be on your shoulders if I fail. Will they suspect you\'re a vampire since you know Nosferatu magic?\"

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\"I doubt it,\" Severus replied with a dismissive movement of his own. \"They will only think that I was schooled by one, or at least have associations with them. Once you learn you\'ll be able to teach others with the talent for it and so on. Generally, however, no matter how far removed a student is from the original vampire, the lessons can be traced back to him.\" Severus paused for a moment, looking into the fire, then looked back to Harry. \"Honestly, they can blame whoever they like, but, in the end, any failures won\'t be our fault because we\'re doing everything we can.\"

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Harry rolled his eyes and gazed over at the fire. \"Gee, this is going to be fun.\" He gave a small grin at Severus\' snort. Harry shifted around until he was facing Severus in the chair; his legs hung off one armrest and his head rested on the other so he could see the other man clearly.

Folding his hands in his lap, Harry asked, \"Tell me more about vampires and the whole donor thing. You must have some kind of history.\"

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\"First of all, we know how to use chairs, a concept that seems entirely lost on you,\" Severus remarked dryly, but Harry just rolled his eyes and Severus let the issue rest there.

\"Vampires, like wizards, have extended life spans so, providing a vampire wizard doesn\'t chose a human as a mate, they can live up to 1000 years. Vampires and their donors are either romantically involved to begin with, or they become romantically involved because of the donor\'s reaction to the feeding and that rarely goes well due to the confusion of the human\'s automatic reaction of lust to the feeding. However, on the rare occasion that it does, they\'ll usually become mates.

\"After the vampire bites the human on their left shoulder blade, the human must do likewise to the vampire to complete the bond. Once a vampire picks a mate, there is a spell between them that makes it so that if one of them dies the other one dies too.\" Severus had never really talked to anyone about being a vampire, but he found that, with Harry anyway, he rather liked it. He still wasn\'t sure how he\'d react to the feeding, if he\'d want to back out of it after the first time or not, but he had little doubt that their friendship would continue.

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At least half an hour passed before Severus finally shooed Harry out because he had to finish some paperwork. Harry went with some protest, but finally relented, reasoning to himself that he\'d be seeing Severus after dinner anyway. He was still a bit nervous about the whole blood-sucking thing, but he trusted the older man and knew he would never hurt him intentionally. Hell, if what he said was true, which Harry didn\'t doubt, then Harry was probably going to be a bit embarrassed when he came while Severus\' hand was on his stomach unless he did that beforehand and he\'d end up coming close to climax.

Shaking his head at his own thoughts, Harry entered his room and went into the bathroom, intending on having a shower. Fully naked, he paused, took a deep breath, and turned around to face the full-length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. He didn\'t like what he saw, but if what Severus said was true, the angry red and pink lines should fade a tad.

Running a finger along the long, angry red slash, Harry sighed. This was the reason he had finally retired. It had been too much. He\'d almost died since his intestines had actually been hanging out.

Emerald eyes trailing up his body, he reasoned that while he did have a lean physique, it didn\'t help the numerous scars scattered across his body. His back, as he already knew from experience rather than sight, was covered with fine, light red lines. His wrists had twin scars. His chest and arms had various scars from both objects and just cursing in general and having to dodge quickly. Sometimes, while he would miss the curse, he would end up hitting something else. His whole body was actually covered in various scars ranging in their seriousness.

Sighing, Harry wrenched his gaze away and finally stepped into the shower to try to get his tense muscles to relax.

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Not unexpectedly, Severus had a great deal of trouble concentrating at any one thing at one time. Throughout the afternoon, his rooms became scattered with this project and that research and a bunch of other things. Somehow, though how was beyond him, he managed to get everything done, or as done as it was going to get that day in a broken sort of fashion. Severus blamed the fidgetiness on the fact that he hadn\'t had a potential steady donor for twenty years or so, and he didn\'t know how it would affect Harry emotionally. He knew he was very self-conscious and didn\'t really seek out contact with many people. Why he\'d chosen to tolerate Severus was anyone\'s guess.

His nerves did lift some at dinner when Harry practically had to wrestle his artichoke into submission. Severus guessed that was all nerves, something to be expected, but once the artichoke was \'tamed\' he did seem to relax a little bit; it was a good sign.

Severus excused himself early, not having much of an appetite with an impending feeding looming nearby, and also he still had to straighten up his rooms from the afternoon\'s work. He stored everything away except the research on magical scars and bonds, which he left in his personal potions lab on his desk. Shortly before dinner he\'d come across some very old writings and wanted to leave them out for further examination tomorrow. The more progress he made with Harry over the next week and a half, the more he\'d be able to tell the Order, the closer they\'d be to defeating Voldemort, and the happier they\'d all be.

Still having a few more minutes before the young man was supposed to arrive, Severus sat in his chair to stare into the fireplace and think.

The possibility of Nosferatu magic had been discussed a few times before between Dumbledore and him, in regards to teaching Harry, but there\'d never been a good time. Either he was too young, too caught up in Auror training (which, oddly enough, forbid the use of Nosferatu magic. Probably because they feared it) or he\'d been two busy trying to clean up after Voldemort--there simply wasn\'t time. This was the first time the issue had been breached seriously and Harry seemed to be making good progress. The thought that the war could actually end this time for good was almost chilling.

\"Idiot,\" he berated himself and spelled one of his books to read out loud so he wouldn\'t fall too deeply into an interior monologue again. \'Now is not the time to be thinking of that. Leave those headaches for tomorrow. Right now focus on the feeding about to take place.\' At that thought, Severus glanced over at the couch, equipped with numerous pillows, as Harry would be drained afterwards and need a little time to recoup, and a few towels for blood, or whatever else needed to be wiped away. Now all he had to do was wait for Harry to arrive.

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Raking a hand through his hair, Harry rapped lightly on Severus\' door. Receiving a quiet summons, he opened it and shut it behind him, glancing around briefly. A dark burgundy couch to his right was covered in large black pillows. Looking to his left, he spotted the older man sitting in his usual armchair.

Running another hand through his long hair again, Harry leaned on the back of \'his\' chair, looking over at Severus. \"Where are we going to do this?\" he asked, fidgeting slightly.

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\"The couch,\" Severus replied, gently closing his book and placing it on the coffee table. \"We\'ll both be more comfortable that way.\" He stood in the smooth, predatory-like fashion often associated with members of his race and as he did so, shifted so he was in full vampire form. Not much of a change that, save the teeth and eyes, eyes which met Harry\'s emerald ones intensely. \"Relax Harry,\" Severus said quietly, \"I\'m going to bite, but it\'s not going to hurt. Remember you can back out whenever you want to.\"

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Harry shook his head and walked over to the couch, arranging himself so he was leaning against a bundle of pillows. He was nervous, since he didn\'t know what exactly to expect, but he trusted Severus, and knew he would never hurt him intentionally. It didn\'t quell the nervousness, though.

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With inhuman liquid grace, Severus glided to the couch and seated himself right next to Harry, smiling reassuringly into slightly frightened eyes. Gently, Severus undid the top part of Harry\'s jeans and slipped one hand over the painful scar, thinking that if he\'d not been so far gone in the near trance-like state of feeding, he most certainly would appreciate the firm muscle underneath his palm. He murmured a few words that flowed together like warm silk, warming the skin to skin touch further. Once that was done, he lifted Harry\'s chin with one finger, to expose his neck, and then let the hand come to rest on his shoulder.

He felt Harry tense slightly as he leaned in towards his neck, but continued on in the same slow, reassuring way. He didn\'t bite him right away, instead he gently used his tongue to lave the area he would feed from. After a few gentle sucks, to bring the blood closer to the surface, he brought his fangs to the surface of Harry\'s skin and pushed them underneath it. It had been so long since he\'d fed properly that he was instantly lost in the gentle sucking and the rich, sweet warm liquid seeping down his throat; unconsciously making a noise almost like purring as he continued to feed.

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Harry moaned at the rush of sensations flowing through him starting from his neck and traveling down to his groin. He shivered when the purring started, a gentle hum the made Severus\' lips vibrate against his already sensitive neck. He tipped his head back to press against the cool satin, turning his head to the side to lay his cheek against the material, subconsciously giving Severus\' more room.

He groaned again at the feeling of the moist, warm tongue pushing against his skin, pulling the blood out of the wound at a leisurely pace. Every muscle in his body tensed in anticipation; his biceps bulged when he resisted the urge to pull the vampire\'s dark head closer to his neck. His stomach clenched at the strength it took to keep himself rooted to where he was, instead of arching or moving closer to Severus. His balls tightened, pulling closer to his body as Severus suckled and purred against his flesh, making noises Harry never would have dreamed the other man capable of.

\"Sev-rus,\" he breathed, a low cry of want and need was wrenched from his lips as the purring vampire took one last suck, and retreated only enough to lap at the small incisions there. When Severus suckled one last time at the sensitive spot, Harry came with a loud moan.

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Severus gently pulled back from the spent man beneath him with a slow, satisfied grin on his face. Feeding always did that to him--rip all his walls down. Probably why he had done it so very rarely in his life. The wound in Harry\'s neck was already closing, by magic, and Severus, still feeling the hormonal rush of feeding, reached for a towel to gently clean Harry off, not trusting his own magic at the moment as it was distractedly humming in his ears.

Carefully moving their bodies until Severus was lying down on the couch with Harry on top of him, he gently zipped Harry\'s jeans closed and glanced up at his donor\'s face, still grinning. Harry was either dozing right now, or very out of it, judging from his completely limp form and somewhat even breathing. Not yet guarded enough to monitor his thoughts, they came freely. \'Such a beautiful creature,\' Severus thought to himself, gentling running his fingertips over Harry\'s flushed cheek. \'It\'s a shame he doubts himself so much.\'

It was only when Harry\'s full red lips began to seem so utterly tempting, that Severus pulled tight on his control and attempted to become grounded once again. Thoughts like that were useless and, worse yet, dangerous. Hadn\'t he been explaining to Harry how feeding could induce certain feelings? \'Only of a physical nature on the part of the donor though,\' whispered a traitorous inner voice, which he promptly ignored.

He was about to move away when Harry\'s hands tightened very slightly, probably unconsciously, to keep him in place. This was to be expected as losing blood often made the donor slightly chilled when they came to. Severus sighed and a smile spread over his lips again as he secured his arms around the younger man and shifted them until Harry was all but sprawled atop him, waiting patiently for the man to come back to himself.

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Feeling a rush of warmth, security and safety, Harry couldn\'t imagine a better way to wake up. Burrowing closer to the furnace of warmth, he stilled when he heard a quiet chuckle. Opening his eyes, he was met with pale skin and the strong smell of the other man, including the slight hint of something metallic on the his breath. Nuzzling his nose into Severus\' neck, Harry sighed and closed his eyes, still somewhat dizzy and sleepy. He enjoyed the tightening of muscular arms around him, and the sound of the other man breathing in his scent. \"What does it taste like?\" he finally mumbled, his voice slightly raspy from his cries and overall sleepiness.

.

\"Your blood?\" Severus murmured softly. \"It tastes very rich and sweet.\" There was a bit more as to how blood carried the residue of a wizard\'s power and it\'s specific taste was molded by the person\'s life, but they\'d already talked of that and Severus was too cozy and sated to bother launching into another long lecture. He wasn\'t inclined to move at the moment, with Harry in his arms and the feeling of the magic coursing though his veins. Harry was, perhaps, the only donor he\'d ever had who was concerned only about helping Severus, thus making the experience the most pleasurable one he could remember having.

.

Harry yawned and nuzzled closer, enjoying the slow and steady hand that was running through his hair. He didn\'t think he could keep his eyes open for much longer but he also didn\'t want to sleep because then he would miss the man\'s warm arms wrapped around him. He knew Severus would never hold him like this unless something like this happened, a semi-emergency that called for his caring touch, but it was still nice to dream.

\"M\'glad. Thought it was going to taste bad \'cause of training and what not,\" he muttered, still half asleep, but awake enough to say just about anything that came to mind and not full remember it the next morning unless he tried really hard to cover his tracks. He\'d always fallen asleep after his lovers had gone to bed to make sure they couldn\'t ask him any questions. Being this tired was like taking a truth serum.

.

Severus, being the vampire, recovered more quickly than Harry. He couldn\'t be bothered to move or wipe the, now small, smile off his face, but his mind was coming into sharper focus after the pleasurable daze of feeding.

Studying the mussed head lying on his chest, Severus noted, much to his chagrin, that something about that image made something in his chest ache. Willing the abstract feelings away, Severus shifted his gaze over to the fire, the only source of light in the room at the moment, almost a little morose now, but not willing to focus on exactly why that was.

\"Harry,\" he murmured very softly after a few moments, not wanting to wake him if he\'d fallen asleep, \"why did you want to be my donor in the first place?\" even in this sated state, Severus had to admit it was an overly generous offer even for a bloody self-sacrificing Gryffindor.

.

Shifting slightly on top of the hard form so he could wrap an arm around the man\'s chest, Harry blinked sleepily before answering. \"I wanted you to have better life, be happy and healthier because my reason to fight the war is to keep you happy and safe, and \'cause I want to get into a relationship with you at end.\"

.

A wave of complete shock went through Severus\' system so intense that he started to gape and his hand faltered a little on Harry\'s back, although only until the slightly chilled donor arched up into it and it resumed its gentle movements automatically. \'Oh Harry,\' Severus thought to himself and he looked down at the nearly asleep form in his arms. \'You don\'t know what you\'re saying. The feeding probably got to you. If it\'s not the feeding, I\'m probably the first person who\'s been genuinely friendly to you in a long time. You\'re just confusing your feelings. Damn Gryffindor. You don\'t want to be attached to a vampire any more than you have to be.\' But he said none of this out loud. Harry was half asleep and probably was barely monitoring what he was saying. In the morning, he\'d be in his right mind again.

Not wanting Harry to stumble down the hall only to break something, the Potions master didn\'t try to wake him, instead shifting him in his arms so that he could carry him. Harry, still half asleep, clung to his neck. Feeling much more recharged after the feeding, Severus lifted him easily and carried him down the hall to his rooms where the younger man was just coherent enough to mutter his password. Once in Harry\'s bedroom, whose fire had no doubt been kept up by that house-elf who was so fond of him, Severus pulled back the sheets with wandless magic and gently laid Harry against them. Looking down at his face, Severus thought again, \'Such a beautiful creature, but not meant for me.\'