Snapey Went A Courting

Snapey Went A Courting

It all belongs to Rowling, except what you don’t recognize.

Chapter Six - I Got You Babe

Hermione wanted out. She was tired of the hospital. She felt like a sitting target for every prospective Wizarding father there was. Who would be next? Hagrid? Hermione moaned. Oh, please. Although she was sure he’d be better with Waldo than most after taking care of all those baby animals.

Hermione felt as if all her will was flagging. Why not just agree to Harry’s proposal and let it all go. She needed to rest. On the other hand, she felt restless having done nothing for three days but doze and feed her son. She wanted to be home. A new semester of Dentistry school was about to start and she wasn’t going to let it start without her, stitches and newborn notwithstanding. Really, it was the least she could do.

Just look at how her parents had actually re-scheduled and cancelled appointments just so they would be available to help out during these first days of motherhood. She smiled to herself. As much as they could be a pain in the backside with their over protectiveness, she did truly appreciate all that they had done to support her. It’s just that it was so—suffocating at times. When they were here it was ‘Hermione you ought to do this’ and ‘Hermione, don’t you think that’, and didn’t Waldo need a binky? She sniffed back a couple of tears. They were loves, but they seemed so determined on controlling ever aspect of her life. Just like certain Wizards she knew. Why couldn’t any just respect her right to be? Hermione took a deep breath and told herself, it was only hormones. But damn, between the look on Professor Snape’s face, the disappointment Remus kept extruding all over her, and Harry’s quirkiness, and Ron’s huge ego, she was ready to go bonkers. About the only thing right in her life was Waldo. Her Waldo. She looked down at the bassinette by her side and cradled his little hand. Hermione sighed. The one person in her life that didn’t drive her nutters. She closed her eyes, leaned back and fell asleep.

&&&

Someone was knocking at the front door. Ben Granger put down his salmon salad sandwich and wiped his fingers on the linen napkin. “I’ll get it, Bridgit.”

Granger, all six foot three and an ex-naval officer, walked to the front door and opened it. Low and behold was a pale, big-nosed man wearing what looked to be floral corduroy bell-bottoms, a sixteenth century white frilly lace shirt and holding a black Stetson. Add in the long, black shoulder length hair and he thought Sonny Bono had come over on a visit from the States. “So where’s Cher?” Granger quipped.

“I beg your pardon?” said Snape. “You are Dr. Benjamin Granger.”

“And who might you be?” He asked with some suspicion.

“I am Waldo’s father.”

The last thing Snape remembered was a blur of flesh coming directly towards his face.

“Oh, Ben. What did you do?” asked Bridget Granger crumpling up her nose at the sight of the bleeding man on her front step.

“That’s him, that’s the blighter who ruined our daughter’s life. Look at him. He’s disgusting, some sort of foreign type pervert.”

Bridget tapped her foot, “Well, at least you could drag him inside. What will the neighbors think?”

Ben walked round and picked Snape up like he was made of straw. He unceremoniously dumped him on the couch of their living room.

“Oh, dear,” said she with a shiver.

“What is it, love?”

“Those teeth!” she replied with no little horror.

“I see what you mean. Looks like the Wizarding world has no idea of proper tooth care. That left bicuspid there looks ready to fall out.”

“Well, yes, after you jabbed him in the jaw.”

“Now, Bridget, that was a proper right cross. I never lead with my left.”

“Who cares? What kind of impression is that to make on our future son-in-law?” She was getting quite annoyed.

“Over my dead body.”

“Ben!” She crossed her arms.

“Look at him.” Said Granger, very much the victim in all this. “He couldn’t even have proper sex with her. And I can see why. Whey faced, chinless, little git.”

Bridget gave Granger an exceedingly nasty look and went to the kitchen for ice. She expertly packed it into a plastic bag and laid it down on the rapidly swelling lip and jaw of the professor. On the application of the ice pack, Snape began to stir.

“Settle down, it’s all right,id Bid Bridget, wondering why they had allowed Hermione to ever go to Hogwarts and get mixed up with all these crazies.

Snape startled, “No, no, your lordship, we shall defeat Potter—what, what happened?”

“Ran into a door,” said Bridget glaring at her husband. “A very thick piece of wood.”

Snape touched his jaw. “I think I’ve dislocated it.”

“No, you haven’t,” growled Granger. “And that’s my professional opinion, free of charge. So tell us what you are doing here and leave.”

“Ben, stop being so rude. I’m sure Mr., excuse me, who are you?”

“Professor Severus Snape.”

“Oh Fuck, that tears it--her professor. It was her professor. I knew little puddin’ was keeping something to herself. I can always tell. I’ll kill you.” Bridget grabbed her husband and smoothly pushed him back into one of the satin covered armchairs.

Snape automatically groped through his clothing for his wand, but he didn’t have his robes on. He continued fumbling for a few seconds past where he realized that the danger was over. Then he remembered, his boot, he’d tucked it inside his boot.

“Look, Proor. or. This might not be the best time. My husband is a bit overwrought—“

“I’m not overwrought, I’ll kill him and then I’ll be fine—“

“So if you could say what you need to—“

“He’s got nothing to say to us—“

“Before anything irreversible happens…”

Snape shot to his feet, and bowed. “I am… I only… You see, Hermione needs medical care and she won’t listen to me so I was quite certain she’d listen to you and—“

“She’s in the hospital, isn’t she?” rumbled Granger.

“No, I mean proper medical care. St. Mungo’s where they do not slice a woman open in order for her to have her baby. At St. Mungo’s they can heal her and make sure she’s well instead of this care by, well, savages who claim to be doctors.”

Bridget went very still. A sudden ominous quiet launched itself over the room. The sound of the wall clock ticking became very loud.

In a shockingly mild voice, Granger asked, “What was that? Savages claiming to be doctors?”

“Well, yes. You see the Wizarding world is much more advanced in these things.” The change in Hermione’s father was startling, but Snape was relieved to have finally gotten through. “Miss Granger needs proper care as does Saccius.”

“I see.” Ben smiled. “Please do have a seat, Professor.”

Bridget made a movement behind her husband’s head, indicating that Snape should not continue.

“So, what would you like to see us do?” said Ben quite smoothly.

“Well, convince your daughter to check herself into St. Mungo’s with Saccius.”

“And Saccius is?” Ben asked quite innocently, raising his brows.

“My son. We couldn’t have him go by the name of Waldo.” Snapes lips curled into a sneer. “What a terrible name.”

Bridget’s hand signals behind her husband’s back became frenzied.

Ben cracked his knuckles.

“And what else would you have besides changing the boy’s name?”

Snape noticed that Bridget was doing some sort of odd Muggle dance behind her husband and chose to ignore it as just one more Muggle oddity.

“Well, of course, we must be married at once. That way we can remove the stain of the boy’s birth.”

Ben’s smile became painfully forced. “Stain, you say?”

“Well, yes, he is a bastard. And by a Mu- Muggleborn Witch. Such things not welcomed in the Wizarding community.”

“I suppose I could see that,” said Ben quite reasonably.

Bridget sat down on the piano bench in despair.

“And where would little, Saccius-- is that how you say it-- Saccius live?”

“Well, with me and his mother, of course. I suppose in the dungeons where I live.”

“All the way up in bloody Scotland?” Ben’s face went quite still.

Snape started to feel a little ill at ease.

“And when would we see little ‘Saccius’? About as often as we got to see our daughter those past seven years? And you’d have ‘em both in the dungeons. Ooooh, what a lark.” Ben stood up. He pretty much outweighed Snape by at least two and a half stone and was much taller.

“You seem upset, Dr. Granger.”

“Damned right, I’m upset. You terrorize our girl and her friends for years, oh, yes; I do remember you. Then you get her pregnant and you insult our profession and you’re going to keep ‘em all the way up and away from their family.” His face grew dark and rather thunderous.

“Now, see here, I understand that you Muggles lack the niceties, however—” That was as far as Snape got. He was trying to reach his wand, but it was tucked away in his boot.

In one step, Granger covered the distance to grab Snape by his lace collar and lifted him up to his toes. Just as swiftly, Granger had tossed Snape out the door before he could say so much as say “Accio Wand.” Granger slammed the door and locked it.

“Damned greasy git!”

Bridget shook her head, “You known, In, I really think those anger management classes were a total waste of time.”

&&&

The bed was rocking and groaning under the impact of his thrusts. He held her slim hips and pounded into her. She, for her part, was rocking back and forth on her hands and knees slamming back onto him.

“Oh, by Merlin’s wand, don’t stop, it’s-so-good-Harry.” She grunted as he drove even harder into her.

He reached one hand down under to caress her nub. “I can’t hold out, Daisy.”

“Go ahead without me, but just.. don’t… stop.”

Harry continued his attempt to bring her off while trying desperately to hold back his orgasm until his lover went first. He couldn’t hold out and found himself screaming and spending into her. He stopped.

“Oh, Harry. You stopped. And I was so close.” She pouted.

“Daisy, I’m, I’m sorry.”

She pulled herself off of him, laid on her back and pulled him down next to her. “I’ll just finish myself off then. You can wa”
”

Harry smirked and gave her a kiss. “Honestly, Daisy, you have to be the most understanding Witch in the world.”

Daisy took Harry’s hand and brought it down to her clitoris. “Here, help me diddle. Hmmm. That’s good.”

Harry leaned over and kissed her. He brought his index and middle finger together and started to finger fuck her. “How’s that, Daisy?”

“This time don’t stop. Oh damn, I was so close.”

He continued to rapidly move his fingers in and out of her. Then she began to tense and he watched her as her hips rose and fell, forcing his fingers deeper into her. Finally, her body started to clamp down on him and he felt her shudder.

He took her in his arms and rained little kisses over her head.

After a few minutes, her breathing normalized and she looked up at him, “I hope she never agrees to marry you.”

Harry sighed. “These last three weeks have been grand, but I told you I had a prior commitment.”

Daisy raised herself on her elbow. Her china blue eyes glittered with unshed tears. “But you know who the father is now.”

“He’s not a decent man and he’d be an awful father.” He kissed her again with some finality, “Look, maybe we just shouldn’t see each other anymore.”

“I’m willing to wait and take my chances. If she has any common sense at all, she won’t marry you.”

“Now, Daisy.”

“You feel it, too. We are meant to be together, Harry.”

Harry gave her a little hug before asking, “Does that mean you will share your Mary Quant with me?”

Daisy began to giggle shaking her head of spiked blond and purple hair.

Damn, but she’s so sweet and gentle, thought Harry. It would be so easy to fall in love with her.

&&&

“Interesting breed, the Border Collie,” said Professor McGonagall.

Snape bit back the sharp retort he wanted to make. Now was not the time to alienate his colleague.

“I suppose. The tail is rather annoying, though.”

“Tea?”

Snape sighed. “How?”

McGonagall snickered and poured some tea into a saucer. Snape’s long pink tongue whipped out and lapped at it, spilling half on the floor.

“Now, Severus. Would you care to try and explain again how you managed to get one of my prize pupils pregnant?”

Snape put his head down on the floor and folded both paws over his black snout. Much to his chagrin, a very canine whine escaped from his throat.

&&&


Hermione was woken from her nap by the little noises Waldo would make just before he cried. She found herself better able to move this day and deftly scooped him up and put him to her breast, before he could cry. She sighed and leaned back on her pillows with some contentment.

The door opened. And Hermione gasped. Oh, no! she thought in horror.

“Miss Granger,” came the clipped Scottish accent of her old housemistress.

Hermione held onto Waldo and found herself wanting to sink into the mattress, very far and deep, perhaps to the middle of the Earth.

“Professor McGonagall! And,” Oh my God no, she thought, “Madam Pomfrey. What… What a surprise… I mean… pleasure.”

Waldo, sensing something amiss, something making his Mommy’s milk taste strange, began to pull off and cry. Hermione put him back on without a second thought.

“Now, now,” said Hermione feebly to her son. “It’s all right.”

“So, Miss Granger. I could barely believe my ears when Severus told me what had happened. And here I am now, barely able to believe my , ei, either.”

Madam Pomfrey tut-tutted and nodded her head, “My sentiments, exactly.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” Said Hermione wishing her voice didn’t sound so weak and distant.

“You’ve let us down.” Said McGonagall with a sniff. “Oh, and it will break Albus Dumbledore’s heart.”

“What? I’ve done nothing wrong!” But Hermione felt she was on the run.

“Getting drunk and carrying on with Professor Severus Snape. And then, when finding yourself in the family way not coming to Poppy or myself?”

Pomfrey blew her nose noisily.

“I thought you trusted us. I thought we were family.” McGonagall’s eyes flashed and Hermione’s mind flashed back to all those boring Witch to Witch cautionary tales about Wizards that McGonagall would tell on a regular basis to her girls in Gryffindor.

“And poor Severus. He’s been quite beside himself. Worried sick he is. A Muggle hospital, indeed.” McGonagall gave a sneer worthy of the Potions Master himself.

“I’m sorry.” There, the words were out. She was beaten. The misery of the past three days welled up tsunami-like and crashed into her, crushing her mercilessly. No more. She could stand no more. “I just wanted—“ Her voice rose and the tears came. Madam Pomfrey scooped up the babe, who had slipped off the teat and was frantically trying to re-latch, and let him suckle on her pinky.

“There, there child,” crooned McGonagall, taking her former student in her arms. “All is forgiven.”

Hermione let herself go, in a way she hadn’t in the weeks and months before. She didn’t know what it was about the powers of her old housemistress, but suddenly she was a little girl again, weeping out her homesickness in the dead of night in her surrogate mother’s arms. She trembled and, gratefully, cried herself out.

A/N: Special hugs and thanks to my reviewers: Chibidaima, DebLovesDragon, Tifsuz, Spaz141, MaryKay, Karen, Talisman, Deb, DMS, and LittleBird.

I Got You Babe –As Sung by Sonny and Cher at the closing of their tv show.

HER:
They say we\'re young and we don\'t know.
We won\'t find out until we grow.
HIM:
Well I don\'t know if all that\'s true.
\'Cause you got me, and baby I got you.
HIM:
Babe.
BOTH:
I got you babe. I got you babe.
.
HER:
They say our love won\'t pay the rent.
Before it\'s earned, our money\'s all been spent.
HIM:
I guess that\'s so, we don\'t have a pot.
But at l I\' I\'m sure of all the things we got.
HIM:
Babe.
BOTH:
I got you babe. I got you babe.
.
HIM:
I got flowers in the spring.
I got you to wear my ring.
HER:
And when I\'m sad, you\'re a clown.
And if I get scared, you\'re always around.
HER:
So let them say your hair\'s too long.
\'Cause I don\'t care, with you I can\'t go wrong.
HIM:
Then put your little hand in mine.
There ain\'t no hill or mountain we can\'t climb.
HIM:
Babe.
BOTH:
I got you babe. I got you babe.
HIM:
I got you to hold my hand.
HER:
I got you to understand.
HIM:
I got you to walk with me.
HER:
I got you to talk with me.
HIM:
I got you to kiss goodnight.
HER:
I got you to hold me tight.
HIM:
I got you, I won\'t let go.
HER:
I got you to love me so.
BOTH:
I got you babe. I got you babe. I got you babe I got you babe. I got you babe.

If you scroll down on the page there is a snippet of Sonny and Cher singing this from their tv series.
http://www.people.memphis.edu'cbburr/gold/cher.htm