Angelica's Sorrow

A/N I want to thank the kind reviews I have received so far. I can\'t believe how they inspire me to write further. Just knowing someone appreciates my efforts is a great incentive to continue. I don\'t know how often I will be updating but I hope to do a chapter or two a week at the least. I had the first five chapters pretty well drawn out by the time I started to post. I keep changing things in the hope it will read easier. I want to apologize - I spelled pensieve wrong in the previous chapters. I may go back and correct it in the future but right now I\'m too thrilled with the responses I\'ve gotten to take the time. I want to keep writing for you!

Deb - I think I loved your review as much as you seem to love my story. I don\'t want to give too much away or it would ruin the story for you. I won\'t be quoting from Salazar\'s diaries as such but all of the secrets will be revealed in future installments. I promise.

azulkan2 - thank you so much for your kind review. I\'ll try.

Marika - Honest, it\'s my first - much credit goes to my beta reader, tifsuz.


CHAPTER SIX


The longer Severus was in the room the stronger the feelings of sorrow grew. It was very distracting, he didn\'t need this right now. All of his conscious time during the prior three days, except for meals, had been spent with the diaries. The ever increasing presence made him think of too many things in his past he would rather forget. This morning in particular was difficult, due to a nagging headache from too little sleep.

Angelica Marie Woodmont had been her name. She had been a 36 year old muggle that Salazar loved. The love of her short life was Winston Harold Woodmont, IV. Winston and Angelica had four children together and seemed happy. All of this came about because Salazar couldn\'t have her love and couldn\'t tolerate the fact he had found her too late in her life. Severus found it hard to believe that the massive pensieve had been created because of a muggle. Was this the same Salazar that promoted the exclusion of muggle-born witches and wizards from Hogwarts? Hogwarts, A History was going to be getting a good review by Severus when he had the time.

\'Why didn\'t the fool simply give her a potion if all he wanted was her love,\' he asked himself.

Severus placed his fingers on the bridge of his nose and lowered his head as the pounding inside his brain continued. He couldn\'t believe the lengths Salazar had gone to obtain what he felt would be real. He could understand in a way, Severus\' own position was not that far removed that he could not see the irony. She did not love him either. He wondered briefly if that was part of the reason the Headmaster had wanted him to read the diaries. To be aware of the follies of trying to make something happen that was not destined. So Hermione would not be destroyed, as Angelica had been so many years ago.

Snape pulled a vial from his robes and took the stopper in his fingers. He pulled it out and drank the headache potion quickly. It instantly spread relief and allowed him to think a little clearer.

Severus pulled the last of the diaries back to him and resumed reading. Salazar\'s handwriting was almost illegible and it took time to decipher some of the longer words. Most of the diaries contained the steps necessary to access the vast reservoir of memories within the mind and the \"sorting\", as it were, of the strands.

He finished the pages of the last diary and closed it. Severus was astounded by what was covered in the final pages. Salazar hadn\'t wanted to lose what was left of his love. He had placed a binding on the memories to prevent their dissipation. They remained in the room and would for eternity. The spell used hadn\'t been written down in the diaries and the knowledge had gone with him to his grave.

\"I cannot help you, Angelica. I would if I could,\" Snape whispered to the seemingly empty room and felt a slight easing of the emotion filling his heart.

\"I have a love of my own that does not love me in return, but I would never condem her to your fate.\"

The remainder of the day was spent by Severus in worried contemplation. The passages of the diaries were accessed time and again while he compiled his own notes. There had to be a way to make this possible without causing further harm. He could not, would not allow it to be otherwise.

\'Where did Salazar go wrong? What step caused the tragedy? Too many changes all at once? That may have been what destroyed the body\'s tolerance for the memories. Since I\'m not going to actually alter the strands, perhaps they could be returned gradually, as I sift. They wouldn\'t need to blend with the remainder in the pensieve. The body of the person chosen will have to remain in the room as well. It will not do to leave them alone. I will have to stay with them.\'


Since he had already examined the pensieve and found nothing out of the ordinary, except for it\'s size, he rose from the chair and made his way to the fireplace. The Headmaster would need to be informed of his decision. Since it was a direct connection to Dumbledore\'s office he didn\'t need to speak the words after he threw in some floo powder. He stepped through the fire directly into Albus\' office.

\"Why didn\'t you tell me all that he did, Albus?\"

The Headmaster looked up as Snape crossed his office. \"As I said before, I wanted you to read the diaries before I explained the situation in the pensieve room. Since that option was denied me I could not see taking the time to explain every little detail. I take it you have finished?\"

\"Yes, I have. I believe I have thought of a way it might work without losing any memories. I propose to put the memories back as I sort them instead of trying to replace them all at once as Salazar did. I would need to use a smaller pensieve as I draw the memories from the larger one. This would make it necessary for the person chosen to remain in the room. I don\'t think it would be practical, or safe to move them each day. I would, of course, remain with them.\"

\"It would also mean a nurse or medi-witch would have to be there. \"

\"I am aware of that. I think Poppy could be trusted, don\'t you?\"

\"Yes, if she agrees. She hasn\'t returned yet, but I will contact her and outline the basic situation.\"

\"There is something else you need to know. You will need to warn her about the presence in the room. It has grown stronger.\"

\"In what way has it grown stronger? I don\'t recall it being affected when I studied the diaries five years ago.\"

\"Not at all?\"

\"Not that I was aware of at the time.\"

Snape sank down in one of the chairs that were placed in front of the Headmaster\'s desk. A thoughtful look crept over his face as he turned that information over in his mind.

\"I would appreciate it if you would accompany me after dinner tonight. I would like a concrete basis for comparison in determining if it has in fact changed.\"

\"That shouldn\'t be a problem. Come, let us join the others for dinner. After that we can go down and decide what we need to do in order to make this work.\"

They quietly left the office and made their way down the spiral staircase. Dinner seemed to stretch for an eternity for poor Professor Snape. He was anxious to return and test his grip on reality. Dumbledore, however, would not be hurried. Albus even took the time for desert, for Merlin\'s sake. By the time they were ready to return to the Headmaster\'s office to use the floo, Severus was ready to grab Albus and carry him up the stairs. He didn\'t allow this to show, but his voice was the coldest velvet anyone had ever heard.

\"If you are quite ready, Headmaster?\" Severus intoned as he stood and walked over behind him.

\"Severus, we will get there. We both needed a small break from our tasks.\"

Albus rose to join him as they began the walk to his office.

\"I don\'t consider an hour and a half a small break, Sir. It\'s a frivolous waste that we will not be able to regain.\"

\"I for one am feeling somewhat refreshed. Perhaps it will help me to determine if there has been a change.\"

Snape scowled and replied, \"You won\'t be able to determine that if we never get there.\"

\"Patience is it\'s own reward. You should remember how it was one of your greatest allies when you were a spy for the Order.\"

\"Perhaps, because I had to use so much of it then, I\'m in short supply now.\"

They had come to a halt in front of the guardian to the Headmaster\'s office. \"Cherry Mash\" were the words that came from Dumbledore\'s lips. The staircase appeared and they stepped on the top step and allowed the spiral to raise them to his office.

\"You\'ve changed it again? What in the world is a \'Cherry Mash\'?\" Severus asked as he walked towards the fireplace.

He grabbed some powder from the floo pot and prepared to return.

\"It\'s a delightful - now what was the term? Oh, yes \'candy bar\'. One of the students who has relatives in the States sent me an assortment of their offerings from over there. I especially enjoyed the \'Cherry Mash\'. It has a wonderful cherry center covered with chocolate and peanuts. I would offer you one, but I\'m afraid I\'ve consumed them all. I do have some others that I would be pleased to let you try.\" Albus offered as he gathered his own handful of powder.

\"No, thank you. Pensieve room.\"

Severus tossed the powder as he spoke and stepped into the fire. He moved away from the fireplace to make room for Albus.

Albus followed him and his head lifted as he stepped out. \"You are correct. The presence is much greater than it has been in the past.\"

A feeling of relief swept through Snape. He wasn\'t losing his mind, but then he puzzled. \'Why didn\'t it increase when Albus read the diaries?\'