Little seed of evil

Little seed of evil - Chapter six - Carry on wayward my son

Carry on my wayward son

There\'ll be peace when you are done

Lay your weary head to rest

Don\'t you cry no more

Harry Potter was lost .

Lost in a sea of anger, bitterness and confusion as he travelled to Hogwarts, alone in the Hogwarts express, with Hermes on his shoulder, happy to have some companion during his travel.

He was lonely, in need of a companion, a partner for life, but so far, his job had never allowed it. But for now, and he smiled softly, Hermes would do.

Hermes was not Hedwig, as he had been forced to shed Hedwig off many years ago when he started his job as an auror. Hedwig was just too recognizable; every wizard and witch knew that Harry Potter, the boy who lived, owned a snow white owl.

As far as he knew, Hedwig was still alive and well.

Hermes hooted once, but a stroke from his master calmed him down. Still a young owl, Hermes still had to learn quite a few, but it looked like he was going to become just as promising as his former owls. Trustworthy, capable of doings his work properly, and just a good friend.

Harry Potter was lonely. Most definitely.

So lonely.

Hogwarts had not changed ever since he had left it. Only a few new walls and the rebuilt tower of Gryffindor were the only visible proves of The Great Battle with Voldemort.

Harry Potter pushed against the doors of the Great hall, surprised to see only one single person; Severus Snape, sitting at The Head table, with a Potions book in his hands.

He had looked up he had heard the doors creak, but his attention was quickly lost when he noticed who it was. His attention turned back on his book, but however, Harry heard him say:

\"Welcome, Potter.\"

\"Professor Snape.\"

Harry nodded quickly, and walked towards the Head table, and sat down at the place that had been reserved for the Defences against the Dark arts teacher.

Not looking aside, as he didn\'t feel much to start a conservation with his former Potions teacher, he grabbed the beaker, filled it with wine, and drank as the students began to pour in.

By the time the sorting hat was finished, the new defences against the dark arts teacher could no longer lift the heavy decanter, so he let Poppy Pomfrey do it for him.

By the time Dumbledore finished his speech, he was longing for his bed. He wasn\'t tired, he never slept much, but he needed the warmth of the bed, and needed his owl around him, rather than old professors with whom he had long ago lost contact.

\"I will return to my quarters now.\", he told Poppy Pomfrey, who was sipping of her wine. \"If you would inform the others, I\'d be grateful.\"

His speech was slurred, and his head was spinning. Merlin, he needed to get to his bed before the whole school would believe that Harry Potter was severely drunk.

He was * not * ¨feeling good. He knew why had been drinking, to try to stop his body from hurting too much for tonight. Just for tonight.

\"Please, Merlin. Let this stop.\", he muttered softly as he rested his elbow against the table, and cradled his arm with * that * scar , that felt like it was burning, eating his way inside.

A tumour. A cancer. Nothing more.

A pained expression came over his face and he knew he could not hold it much longer. Poppy Pomfrey did not see his painful expression, as she was talking happily with Albus Dumbledore, and Minerva McGonagall . But Snape had seen the pained expression the new teacher\'s face, and rose to help him.

Harry was thankful , because right now, he didn\'tl lil like he could stand up without crashing down to the floor first. It didn\'t matter what Snape was thinking.

He needed to get to his rooms before things would get bad.

Before he would be too weak and could barely breathe.

\"C\'mon Potter! You\'re just too drunk!\" , he heare fae familiar voice say loud enough to tear Dumbledore, McGonagall and Pomfrey from their livid conservation and with a brusque move, he pulled Harry Potter from his chair .

With his head spinning heavily at the sudden movement, Harry tried to not to faint. But Snape pulled once again at his arm, more gentle this time, and led him out of the Great hall, through the long corridors straight to his dorms.

But Snape was not a fool. Never a fool. Harry Potter was not drunk. Not drunk at all.

\"What is up with this masquerade, Potter? You can fool Dumbledore and Pomfrey, but you can\'t fool me.\"

He could hear Harry James Potter groan quietly as he carefully sat down on the comfortable leather chair and tried to relax as the pain shot through his body.

\"I was just drinking to forget my pain, Professor Snape.\", the man whispered weakly as he still cradled his arm. \"When pain is in your body constantly, you will do anything to forget.\"

\"Or to make it numb.\"

Harry nodded slowly to confirm on Snape\'s answer, as if he was tired and the pain was becoming too much.

\"Let me get you to your bed. I\'ll call Poppy to have a look at you.\"

Snape saw him do a weak attempt to a wave, and as the Potter boy looked at him, stared at him, he noticed the scarred of the teacher. He no longer looked innocent, or brave.

A raunchy, weathered face, with a scar here and there, Long unkempt hair and the blank green eyes. He was no longer James Potter\'s son; James Potter would not have let his son do whatever he had done before coming to Hogwarts. Not if it would have scarred him so severely like this , and left him with pains barely to soothe by potions.

\"Is there any other place where it hurts, otherwise then your arm?\"

Another quick, distrusting glance. He did not want to tell.

How obvious.

\"I\'ll be fine, professor Snape. Now, if you would excuse me.\" He made a false attempt to rise, but surrendered to the pain, and dropped back in the chair.

\"Why are you so stubborn, Potterpotipotion could relieve you from all this pain.\"

Those dull green eyes were looking at Snape once again. \"\'Cause I need it, in Merlin\'s name. I need the pain.\" His grin of pain disappeared. \"Without pain, I don\'t feel the slightest bit alive.\"