Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

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The Way You Love Me
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The Wizengamot was crowded when Sirius arrived with Dumbledore; the public was apparently eager to see the outcome of the case.

“Will I be able to see Remus before it starts?” Sirius asked.

“I’m afraid that there probably won’t be time for that,” Dumbledore replied. “The new legislation regarding any trials revolving around those deemed to be half-breeds is very strict with regard to how much of the Wizengamot’s time they are allowed to take up.”

“But I have to speak to him,” Sirius implored. “I have to let him know that I’m here for him.”

“He’ll know that you’re here,” Dumbledore assured him. “You’ll be giving evidence as to what happened last night, remember?”

Sirius scowled, but knew that there was little he could do to argue with the formidable Headmaster.

Dumbledore directed Sirius to a seat near the front of the room and he sat down reluctantly, fighting the urge to chew on his nails through nervousness. He was dearly wishing he had a packet of cigarettes on him, but the nails would just have to do.

Dumbledore then walked across the room to speak with a witch that Sirius didn’t recognise. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it seemed that Dumbledore was talking her into something, and the witch reluctantly pointed him towards a closed door, gesturing that his time was limited.

Sirius wondered if Dumbledore was going to beckon him to follow, but he was disappointed to see that he didn’t.

As soon as the Headmaster had disappeared from the room, Sirius looked around him, wondering if the witches and warlocks who were going to determine Remus’s fate were the understanding kind. Then he spotted his father in a seat close by the Chief Warlock and felt his heart sink. Understanding wasn’t even in Orion Black’s vocabulary.

About half an hour had passed before Dumbledore reappeared, with Remus following behind him. He walked across to the seat in the centre of the room and gestured for Remus to sit down. Sirius watched as Remus took his seat, his face downcast and his eyes not making contact with anyone in the room. He tried to get his friend’s attention, but he just wasn’t looking in his direction. Sirius had the suspicion that Remus wasn’t even entirely aware of his surroundings.

“It’ll be starting soon,” Romulus suddenly said from his left, and Sirius turned to face him.

“Is Remus okay?” he asked. “He looks kind of out of it.”

“He’s signed a confession,” Romulus whispered. “Stupid little…”

“He feels guilty,” Sirius interrupted. “It’s to be expected.”

“Doesn’t mean he has to sign his life away.”

“Maybe he can retract it?” Sirius suggested hopefully. “He can’t be held responsible for what happened.”

“That’s what I kept saying, but his Case Worker is a prejudiced bitch, who had the confession already waiting for him as soon as we got here.” The bad language, coming from the normally mild-mannered ghost, told Sirius just how agitated he was.

Then the case began, and Delores Umbridge was addressing the room, requesting an immediate execution, and the swift tidying up of the whole mess.

Sirius glared at the woman and made a mental note to make sure that if Remus got through this, they got him a new Case Worker. One who didn’t seem eager to send werewolves she was supposed to be supporting to a Camp or to his or her death.

He looked across to where Remus was sitting and saw that his friend was still not looking up, and still didn’t seem to be taking any notice of what was happening around him.

Umbridge summed up her speech, punctuating it with a thoroughly inappropriate giggle, and took her seat again.

“Unfortunately, we can’t go straight to the sentence,” explained the Chief Warlock, who Sirius recognised from Romulus’s hearing as Ogden. “The werewolf must be given a chance to explain his actions and defend his right to continue to live.”

Umbridge looked rather annoyed, but many of the witches and wizards were nodding in agreement with Ogden, and it was clear that at least Remus was getting a trial.

Dumbledore took the floor in order to defend Remus, commanding the attention of everyone in the room as he did so. He spoke at length about the precautions that had been taken with regard to the basement cage, and the fact that it was his own decision to allow the two werewolves to share the cage on the night of the full moon.

Sirius wondered how wise it was to openly tell the hostile room that he felt responsible for what had happened, but then he realised that if it meant that Remus got to live, he would take responsibility for what had happened, too.

When the time came for Sirius to tell the Wizengamot what had happened, he stood up and took his seat in the witness chair, thankful that he didn’t have to stand, because he didn’t know if his legs would hold him up for that long.

He could see his father glaring down at him and averted his eyes so that he wouldn’t have to look at him. He just wished that his father would do the same thing, so that he wouldn’t have to feel the harshness of his glare burning into him.

“You were watching over the werewolves last night?” a kindly looking witch asked him.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Sirius replied with a nod of his head.

“Why were you given this responsibility?”

Sirius shrugged. “I always watch over Remus during the full moons,” he explained. “Have done for years.”

“You have?” The witch looked at him with an expression of concern on her face. “How old were you when you first began this ritual?”

Sirius frowned. “I started watching him on my own regularly from fourth year, but I looked after him before then.”

The witch nodded thoughtfully and whispered something to her neighbour. The wizard next to her nodded back and turned to face Dumbledore. “Has Mr Black considered applying for supervision of the werewolf?” he asked.

There were several murmurs from around the room, and Sirius turned to Dumbledore questioningly. The Headmaster gestured for Sirius to remain quiet as he stood up to address the room once more.

“I’m afraid that Mr Black is still a student at Hogwarts,” he said. “Even though he is technically of age, his status as a student would prevent any application from being successful.”

“I’ll leave school,” Sirius interrupted. “As of right now.”

“I won’t allow it!” Orion called out, rising to his feet in his temper.

Dumbledore raised his hand calmly and shook his head. “Neither will I,” he said. “Mr Black is an exceptional student, with a lot of potential. I would not see him throw all that away.”

“It wouldn’t be throwing it away,” Sirius argued. “You said it yourself; I’m of age now. That means it’s my choice to make, and if it saves Remus’s life then I’ll drop out.”

Dumbledore shook his head and gestured for him to be quiet again.

“Do you wish to apply to supervise the werewolf?” the witch who had questioned Sirius about his age asked Dumbledore.

Sirius looked towards the Headmaster hopefully, but his hopes fell as Dumbledore shook his head. “I’m afraid that I have far too many commitments to guarantee that I could be back in Hogsmeade for every full moon.”

“I really don’t see why this is relevant,” Umbridge said. “The werewolf has confessed to murdering the girl. The executioner is already standing by.”

Sirius snarled at her and cast a concerned glance towards Remus, wondering if he was as scared by this announcement as he was. Remus was still not watching the room properly though. He was rubbing the palms of his hands on his knees, the only outward sign that he was perhaps not as calm as he appeared to be.

“Perhaps we could return to the events of last night,” an elderly wizard near the back suggested. “Would Mr Black tell us what happened?”

Sirius looked at Dumbledore, who nodded for him to continue.

“Well, I went down to the basement after they were both transformed,” he began.

“Is that what you always do?”

Sirius shook his head. “I used to go down there before Remus had transformed, but not for the last few months.”

“Why didn’t you go down there before the transformation last night?”

“Because Charlie – Charlene – was down there, too.”

“Would you care to clarify?”

“Well, she’s a girl and I didn’t think she’d want a boy looking at her when she undressed.”

“My son is a gentleman,” Orion added. “Properly raised to respect women.”

There were several murmurs of approval from around the room, though Sirius couldn’t stop his feelings of annoyance at the way his father was twisting even this around, just so that he looked better in the eyes of his peers. He wondered how many of them had already heard the rumours that had flown around the previous summer about Sirius and his relationship with Remus.

“So, you went down after they had transformed,” a witch commented. “How could you tell?”

“They were howling,” Sirius replied, as though this was obvious. He wondered just how many of those who were sitting in judgement of Remus had actually spent the night with a werewolf.

“And what were they doing when you went down to the basement?”

“They were in the cage and sort of circling each other.”

“How long did they do that for?”

“I’m not sure. Not long.”

“Then what happened?”

“Charlie turned to look at me and started snarling and growling at me.”

“This is from behind the barrier that is supposed to prevent the wolves from smelling humans on the other side?”

Sirius nodded. “They can still see me. They just can’t smell me.”

“But Remus wasn’t snarling at you.” It wasn’t a question, but Sirius shook his head anyway. “Why do you think that was?”

Sirius shrugged. “He’s used to me being there by now. He sometimes gets a bit angry at me, especially if me and Remus have had a fight, but mostly he just plays with Romulus for a bit and then lays quietly while I talk to him.”

“He lays quietly?” one of the younger wizards asked. “That isn’t typical behaviour for a werewolf, is it?”

Sirius shrugged again. “It’s typical for him.”

“So, Charlene was growling at you. What happened then?”

“Moony – Remus – leapt at her. Then I left to get Dumbledore. By the time I got back…”

“Let me see if I understand this,” an elderly witch called out. “The male werewolf is usually quiet and just lays there most of the night while you supposedly talk to him. Then the female joined him last night. The female didn’t like you much and the male killed her when she made her feelings known. That about right?”

“I guess that sounds about right.”

“Stuff and nonsense,” the witch replied with a snort of contempt. “Werewolves don’t lay quietly while humans talk to them through the night.”

“Moony does,” Sirius insisted.

“You’re a liar,” the witch continued. “You think that spinning fanciful tales like this will save your friend.”

“I’m not lying!” Sirius replied, his voice rising with anger and panic.

The room erupted with noise, and Sirius could tell that the loudest voices were in agreement with the witch who had called him a liar.

Then suddenly an unfamiliar voice rose above the furore. “If I may ask a couple of questions, please?”

Sirius and the rest of the room turned to the wizard who had spoken out from the public gallery.

“Who are you?” Ogden asked.

“The name’s Belby,” the wizard replied. He stood up and Sirius could see that he was middle aged and wearing old and unfashionable robes.

“The Wizengamot recognises Belby,” Ogden stated.

“He is not a member of the Wizengamot,” Umbridge pointed out.

“The Wizengamot recognises Belby,” Ogden repeated, and Sirius had the impression that even if he didn’t know who the shabbily dressed wizard was, both Ogden and Umbridge did.

“Mr Black,” Belby began. “Could you tell me which smells of the forest the spell on the barrier simulates?”

Sirius shook his head with confusion. “I don’t know. I didn’t set up the barrier.”

“I set it up,” Romulus announced from his own seat in the public gallery. He twisted round to face Belby who was several rows behind him and to his left. “I included lots of smells, plants, trees, animals. I don’t remember them all.”

“Ah,” Belby replied. “Do you perhaps remember if you included Aconite?”

Romulus frowned. “I don’t think so.”

Belby looked disappointed for a moment, before something obviously occurred to him and he brightened again. “Perhaps you know it by a different name, Monkshood or Wolfsbane. Did you include either of those?”

Romulus nodded slowly. “I remember seeing the name Wolfsbane and using that one,” he replied. “With Remus being what he was, the name kind of sprang out at me.”

“Excellent, excellent,” Belby enthused. “I knew it!”

“Knew what?” Ogden asked. “You are taking up the valuable time of the Wizengamot with these questions, so perhaps you could enlighten the rest of us as to their relevance?”

Belby, looking slightly abashed, turned to face the rest of the room. “As you may know, I’ve been experimenting with potions in the hope of finding a cure for Lycanthropy. One of the ingredients which has been most fruitful in my research is Wolfsbane.”

“I’m not really seeing the relevance of this,” Umbridge interrupted with an apologetic simper.

Belby ignored her and continued to explain what he meant. “Remus Lupin has been exposed to the smell of Wolfsbane every full moon for a number of years, and is displaying behaviour that is not normally associated with werewolves. I believe that his exposure to Wolfsbane in this manner is the cause of that behaviour. I believe that even as a werewolf, he is retaining some of the personality traits of the human.”

Sirius looked at Remus to see how he was reacting to this speculation, but although he had looked over to Belby, his expression was one of disinterest. Romulus, on the other hand, looked both thoughtful and worried.

“Even though he was in his wolf form, Remus was capable of expressing concern for his friend and acted on the impulse to protect him from a perceived threat,” Belby concluded. “It’s quite a marvellous breakthrough.”

“Marvellous, is it?” one of the warlocks called out. “Because of that impulse, a girl is dead.”

“Well, obviously that’s not marvellous,” Belby replied, back-peddling as fast as he could. “But a werewolf retaining even a fraction of its human recollections was unheard of until now.”

“Excuse me,” Umbridge interrupted. “But, doesn’t your discovery actually make this crime worse? If you’re saying that the werewolf retained and acted on the memories of his human half, then surely you’re saying that the human is as equally responsible for the death as the wolf.”

Sirius drew in a sharp breath and wished that Umbridge would just disappear somewhere. Remus was blaming himself already; he didn’t need to hear her comments to feel guilty.

Belby was shaking his head. “I’m certainly not saying that Remus had any way of controlling what the wolf did. But this discovery does need looking into further. It may even lead to a cure for Lycanthropy.”

“But it doesn’t excuse murder,” Umbridge pointed out.

“She’s right,” Remus suddenly announced, speaking for the first time since he had confirmed his name and that he understood why he was there. “It doesn’t matter whether it was me or the wolf that killed her – you can’t kill one without the other, and the wolf can’t be allowed to hurt anyone else.”

Sirius was dismayed to hear murmurs of approval from around the room, and he fought the urge to run over to Remus and shake some sense into him.

The Wizengamot then decided that an adjournment for lunch was in order, and everyone piled out of the room, leaving Sirius wondering just how he could help Remus, when the werewolf was clearly not trying to help himself.

It seemed that not everyone had left the room, and Sirius watched as Belby fought his way through the crowd to approach him. “May I speak with you a few moments longer?” Belby asked quietly. “There’s something else I’d like to ask that perhaps isn’t suitable for the rest of the room.”

Sirius shrugged and he and Belby stepped to one side, out of the way of the crowd.

“What did you want to ask me?” Sirius asked curiously.

“I was wondering if you’d tell me just what your relationship with the young werewolf is?” Belby asked.

“He’s my best friend,” Sirius replied, frowning in confusion at the question.

“Is that all he is?”

Sirius felt his face flushing and wondered whether his love for Remus was written all over his face for everyone to see.

“I thought so,” Belby crowed, even though Sirius had not said a word. “I’ve been studying werewolves for years, ever since my poor sister was killed by one. Werewolves just don’t fight with each other; they consider other werewolves to be pack. Only a very powerful connection to you could have prompted such a violent reaction from Remus.”

“Can this help us save Remus’s life?” Sirius asked, since that was really the only thing that mattered to him right now.

“I doubt it,” Belby replied. “The prejudices against werewolves being what they are…”

“How is it you don’t hate them?” Sirius asked. “Especially since you say one killed your sister?”

“The one that killed my sister was also my best friend, and my sister’s husband,” Belby replied sadly. “He didn’t survive her for long.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“That’s all right. It was some time ago.”

“Do you know of anything that could help us?” Sirius asked.

“Seems to me that you’ve got the best wizard on the case here,” Belby replied, pointing to Dumbledore who was speaking with Romulus at the other side of the room.

“But Remus signed a confession. It’s like he’s given up.”

“His wishes will have little to do with the outcome of the hearing,” Belby pointed out. “The only thing that matters is how the members of the Wizengamot vote.”

“They’re going to vote against him, I know it,” Sirius muttered.

“Now, now,” Dumbledore said as he walked up to the two of them. “Let’s not be admitting defeat just yet.”

Sirius turned to look at where Remus was being shepherded through the door he had walked through earlier, and since Dumbledore and Belby were now engrossed in discussions about the nature of werewolves, Sirius took the opportunity to slip away and follow Remus.

The witch leading Remus gave Sirius a cursory glance, and made no effort to prevent him from joining Remus in the adjoining antechamber.

“How are you?” Sirius asked.

“Better than Charlie,” Remus replied shortly as he sat down at the table and pushed away the food that had already been laid out for him.

“We’re going to get you out of here,” Sirius told him, trying to sound optimistic.

Remus didn’t answer him and Sirius placed a comforting hand on his shoulder as he sat down in the chair next to him. He tried not to feel too hurt when Remus shrugged him off.

“Dumbledore’s talking to Belby,” Sirius said. “Belby thinks that –”

“It doesn’t matter what he thinks,” Remus snapped. “She’s dead, and nothing they can say about plants and potions is ever going to bring her back.”

“You dying won’t bring her back either,” Sirius pointed out equally harshly.

“But at least everyone else will be safe from me,” Remus replied.

“Damn it, Remus. You can’t just give up like this.”

Remus ignored him wouldn’t look him in the eye.

“Greyback bit and killed loads of people, and he’s still alive. We can get you out of here, I know it.”

“Greyback’s still alive because he got some pureblood wizard to pull some strings,” Remus pointed out bitterly. “That’s the only reason he’s alive and if you ask me, he should have been killed years ago.”

“Maybe we should bribe the Wizengamot?” Sirius suggested. “I’ve got five sickles on me, think that’ll be enough?”

Remus almost smiled at that, and Sirius nudged him to try and encourage that smile to return once more.

“It’s not funny,” Remus insisted. “Don’t you get it? I killed someone.”

“I know,” Sirius replied quietly. “But that doesn’t mean that you have to let them kill you, too.”

“It’s safer this way.”

“Is it?” Sirius asked. “Belby is working on a cure for werewolves. We could help him if you weren’t so determined to throw yourself under the executioner’s axe.”

“I’m not throwing myself under the axe. But there’s no way that the Wizengamot is ever going to let me out of here alive, so what’s the point of arguing?”

Sirius picked up the jug of water and poured himself a glass, wishing he could think of something else to do that would help. If only Remus had pureblood connections like Greyback…

Then he realised Remus did have connections. He had Sirius, and Sirius had his father, who had the ear of the Chief Warlock and could sway the vote in their favour, if only he could be persuaded to do so.

“Are you going to be okay on your own for a bit?” Sirius asked, knowing now what it was he had to do.

“Sure,” Remus replied, giving every impression of not caring one way or the other whether Sirius left him alone or not.

Sirius sighed and left the room, taking what he hoped was the shortest route possible to his father’s office.

Orion Black was sitting at his desk, parchments and tomes covering the surface. “Do you have the second draft of my letter to the Minister?” he asked without looking up from the book he was poring over. “He wished to hear my views by the end of the day.”

“No,” Sirius replied, as he inwardly rejoiced at just how well connected his father was.

“Sirius, what are you doing up here?” Orion asked impatiently.

“I came to talk to you,” Sirius replied as he took a seat.

“Thought you’d be down in the cells fucking your werewolf, while you still can,” Orion sneered. “Or did you think I’d forgotten about that?”

“No,” Sirius said with a smile. “I was counting on you remembering the night of the party.”

Orion looked up at that. “Blackmail, is it?” he asked coldly.

“I prefer to call it a father pulling in a favour or two on behalf of his son and heir,” Sirius replied with a smirk.

“And if I don’t?”

“Then I might accidentally let slip to Mother just who was doing what to who in the cloakroom that evening.”

“Call it what you want, it’s still blackmail,” Orion said.

Sirius shrugged. “You use your connections to get Remus released, and I’ll forget what I saw that night.”

“Permanently?” Orion asked.

Sirius hesitated for a moment before he nodded his agreement.

“There’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to sway the vote,” Orion pointed out.

“I know,” Sirius replied.

“If it doesn’t go your way, our deal still stands?”

“If Remus doesn’t make it through this, nothing will matter, your sordid little affair included.”

“And you’ll agree to marry and continue the Black line?”

Sirius shook his head. “A favour for a favour. Don’t push it.”

“It’s your precious werewolf you want me to save. I think that the price of his life is worth rather more than your silence on a single indiscretion.”

“That may be the case,” Sirius agreed. “But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m gay.”

“If your feelings for him are that strong, surely you would prefer him alive and alone than dead?” Orion suggested.

Sirius drew in a deep breath. His father was right. He had always said that he would do anything for Remus, and now he was being tested. He gave a small nod.

Orion looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he waved Sirius out of his office, promising to do what he could in the short time he had before the Wizengamot reconvened.

Sirius returned to the cells, where he found Remus in exactly the same position he had left him. “You should eat something,” he told him sternly.

“I’m not hungry,” Remus replied.

“It’s going to be a long afternoon,” Sirius told him. “At least have some of the fruit.”

“Aren’t you listening?” Remus shouted. “I’m not hungry. I don’t want to eat the bloody fruit!” He picked up the tray and threw it at the wall, narrowly missing Sirius and bringing a guard into the room to check that everything was okay.

“We’re fine,” Sirius told him, waving him away and taking a cautious step towards Remus.

“Yeah,” Remus replied sarcastically. “We’re just fine. Real peachy, aren’t we, Sirius? Pity the same can’t be said for Charlie.”

“Dying won’t bring her back!” Sirius pointed out again, his own voice rising in temper. “You can’t just give up like this.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Remus asked. “You think I don’t realise that nothing I can do will ever fix this, will ever put it right?”

“We’ll get through this,” Sirius told him. “We’ll be back at Hogwarts and things will be back to normal before you know it.”

“Hogwarts?” Remus echoed with a laugh. “You think they’d let a monster like me back in Hogwarts after what’s happened?”

“You’re not a monster.”

“What else do you call someone like me?” Remus asked. “Things aren’t going to go back to normal either, no matter how much we might wish it.”

Sirius pulled up a chair and sat down close to Remus. “I know you miss her and I know that you feel guilty, but you can still do a lot of good with your life. Please, don’t give up.”

Remus didn’t reply, and all too soon they were being called back into the Wizengamot.

Sirius took his seat in the front row of the public gallery again and Romulus appeared beside him a moment later. “Where have you been?” Sirius asked.

“Around,” Romulus replied cryptically. “Trying to get an idea of which way the voting might go.”

“And?”

“And your father has been quite busy the last half hour,” Romulus commented. “Any ideas as to why he might suddenly have decided to champion Remus?”

Sirius smiled grimly at the news that his father had kept his word.

“Thank you,” Romulus said quietly.

“I just hope that it’s enough,” Sirius replied.

Then the hearing continued. Madam Pomfrey and Albus Dumbledore both told of their parts in what had happened, and Romulus filled in the gaps from the moment Sirius ran for help until they had arrived.

It was hard to tell how well the case was going, although there had been quite a few murmurs of sympathy throughout the afternoon.

Remus was called to speak to the room and answer questions, but he refused to do so, merely stating that he wished they would just get this whole thing over with.

Sirius glared at him from his seat across the room and wished he could drag him into the seat and make him fight for the right to live. Instead, Remus remained where he was, quiet and sad, waiting for them to decide his fate.

Sirius wanted to shout at him to stand up and defend himself, but he held his tongue, knowing it would only make things worse if he caused a disruption. It might also get him ejected from the room, and while waiting inside was awful, he was sure that waiting outside the room, where he would have no idea what was happening, would be even more unbearable.

The vote wasn’t unanimous; it wasn’t even a landslide. In fact it was so close the Chief Warlock had to take two separate counts to determine the result.

Sirius waited, his heart in his throat, as the old warlock slowly counted the number of members of the Wizengamot who wanted to murder his love.

He could see his father sitting across the room, and could tell that he was holding himself back from raising his hand, too. He caught the older man’s eyes and silently told him that if he dared to vote against letting Remus live, then he would be very sorry indeed.

When the result was announced, Sirius breathed a sigh of relief and turned to see Remus’s reaction. If he had been expecting pleasure or relief, he didn’t find it in the werewolf’s face, which looked as impassive as it had throughout the hearing. He wondered whether Remus was grateful that his life had been saved, and whether he was even aware of the verdict.

-o-xXx-o-

Remus’s living room looked much the same as it had when they had last seen it.

“You want something to eat?” Sirius asked as Remus sank down onto the sofa.

Remus shook his head and scowled at the fireplace.

“You mind if I get something?” Sirius asked, already half way to the kitchen. “I’ve not eaten since yesterday.”

“Help yourself,” Remus said in a toneless sort of voice.

Sirius grabbed a slice of pumpkin pie and returned to the living room. “You okay?” he asked between bites.

“What did you do to swing it?” Remus asked, ignoring Sirius’s own question.

“What do you mean?” Sirius hedged.

“You got your father to rig the vote, didn’t you?” Remus accused, his tone making it clear that he was far from happy about his suspicions.

“What makes you think that?”

“Your father voted to give me another chance,” Remus said with a snort of contemptuous laughter. “Orion Black voted to save his son’s werewolf lover. You expect me to believe that he did that purely out of the goodness of his heart?”

“I just asked him to speak to a few people,” Sirius replied. “It worked, didn’t it?”

Remus shook his head. “I’m alive because my pureblood lover pulled strings.”

“Does it matter how we got you out of there?”

“Greyback is alive because he got some pureblood to pull strings for him. Now you’ve just done the exact same thing.”

“It isn’t like that.”

“Isn’t it?” Remus glared at him. “Then feel free to enlighten me as to why this is different, because I’m really not seeing it.”

“Why is what I did different?” Sirius asked. “Well, maybe, just maybe, it’s because I love you, you fucking idiot. I did what I had to in order to save you. You think that whoever it was that saved Greyback did it because they loved him? More like because he scared them into it by threatening to turn their children.”

“You had no right to interfere like that.”

Sirius glared back at Remus. “Oh, there’s no need to thank me for saving your life today,” he snarled sarcastically. “Really, don’t grovel like this, Remus.”

“Didn’t you listen to anything I said earlier?” Remus shouted. “I didn’t need you to save me. I didn’t want you to save me.”

“Well, tough luck,” Sirius snapped.

“Yeah, isn’t it? Sirius Black does exactly what he wants as usual, and tough luck to anyone else.”

“Why is it so wrong to want to save your life?” Sirius asked.

“Because I don’t deserve it,” Remus shouted back. “I’m a murderer, a werewolf, a monster.”

Sirius smiled and shook his head. “Only one out of three,” he said as he pulled Remus into his arms. Remus struggled for only a few moments before he hugged Sirius back and began to quietly weep.

“How can you love a monster like me?” Remus sobbed.

“You’re not a monster.”

“Everyone else thinks I am.”

“That’s because they don’t know you like I do.”

“Charlie’s parents were at the Wizengamot.”

“They were?”

Remus nodded. “They came to speak to me before the hearing.”

“Yeah?”

“They said I should be put down.”

“They were just upset because of losing their daughter. You can’t blame them for that, but you shouldn’t take what they said to heart.”

“They were right.”

Sirius planted a soft kiss on the top of Remus’s head. “No, they weren’t. Come on, let’s go to bed and things will look better in the morning.”

Remus snorted. “You think sex will solve this?”

“I’m not talking about sex,” Sirius replied. “Neither of us has slept since the night before last. You’re tired and you’re still in shock. We’ll talk about things tomorrow.”

“Nothing will have changed tomorrow,” Remus pointed out, although he let Sirius tug him through towards the bedroom and help him out of his robes and into his pyjamas.

“Sleep now, worry later,” Sirius ordered, stripping out of his own robes and climbing in beside Remus.

He waited for Remus to tell him to leave, but instead the weary werewolf curled into his side and snuggled up against him under the covers.

Sirius, despite his own lack of sleep, was awake for a long time after Remus had finally succumbed to slumber.

He remembered what Dumbledore had told him just before they had left the Ministry and knew that the next few months would be the hardest Remus had ever gone through. Even though he had been freed, his last few months at Hogwarts would be difficult. He wasn’t just the werewolf now; he was the werewolf who had killed someone.

It didn’t matter that Remus barely remembered the events of the night of the full moon, and it didn’t matter that he was even more distraught than any of the other students were likely to be. No one would realise that when they judged him. Sirius knew that Remus was very capable of fending off any attack that was sent his way; the way he stood up to those who had attacked Sirius since he had been outed was proof of that. He just hoped that Remus would stand up and defend himself, because he had a horrible feeling that his friend might just stand there and take whatever was dealt out to him. He would protect Remus when he could, but they weren’t in all the same classes and much as he might want it otherwise, they couldn’t be together twenty four hours a day.