Saving your life

It had been almost 36 hours since Snape had gone to headquarters and had told them the battle was coming, and now there was a deadline, a date to both look forward and fear, time suddenly seemed to pass ten times faster.

Never had she seen the Order’s headquarters so crowded, so full of life; she hadn’t stopped to count, there wasn’t time for that, but she could swear at least two hundred witches and wizards had been there since Snape´s visit.

It was amazing, how everyone in the Order seemed to be working so hard gathering forces, when they knew so little about what was going to happen, what they were getting ready for. Severus had only managed to tell them to contact everyone they thought could help, and that they only had a few days before Voldemort had summoned him, and he had been forced to leave. He hadn’t returned yet.

As she swallowed the last bit of her sandwich and left the kitchen to look for Harry, her thoughts drifted to Severus again. She hadn’t had a chance to talk to him yet, and that bothered her. She still wanted to know what had happened the night he had taken Draco to Voldemort, and what was going to happen in only a few days, but she didn’t dare look for him or try to contact him in any way. There were much more important things than her curiosity. She couldn’t help worrying about him, also. She kept wondering where he was, and if he was all right, wondering why he hadn’t returned yet, fearing perhaps something had happened to him, and thinking maybe Voldemort had somehow finally found out the truth about him.

She dodged a couple of young Aurors hurriedly walking down the hallway, seemingly oblivious to anything other than their hushed conversation, and then had to take a detour when she found the room she was planning on going through to get to her friends locked, apparently due to the meeting taking place inside. It was Monday noon, and the house had been full all day. Everyone seemed to have decided at the same time their jobs could wait, and although she was glad they were there, running into so many people all the time was quickly getting on her nerves.

Finally reaching her destination, she opened the door without even bothering to knock, wanting to go back to training, but instead she froze in place at the scene inside, gasping in surprise at the sight of Harry, on a duelling stance, with Draco in front of him, in the same position.

“What’s going on here?” she asked alarmed, but neither one of them seemed to even notice she was there. Draco had just shot a curse at Harry, which he had deflected, sending another Draco’s way.

“Stop!” she yelled, running between them and almost getting caught in the cross fire.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked, startled, blocking the curse and lowering his wand.

“What am I doing? What are you doing? Have you gone crazy? We have enough going on as it is; can’t you two just work out your differences some other time?”

“Hermione, it’s not what you think.”

“Isn’t it?” she asked, soundly slightly irritated. “And what on earth happened to him?” She had only just noticed Ron lying unconscious across the room.

“We were practising some curses, and his shield charm wasn’t strong enough to block the last one. He should wake up in an hour or so,” Harry explained apologetically. At Draco’s inelegant snort, she turned to him.

“And what are you doing here?”

“He needed someone to practise the curses with, and I’m tired of lying down,” he said.

“I don’t care if you’re tired of lying down; you have to stay in bed until you are fully recovered.”

“I am perfectly all right.”

“Why did you let him help you, Harry?”

“I thought you wanted me to give him a chance.”

“Oh, don’t you try to fool me, Harry Potter, you just wanted a chance to curse him!” she accused, hands on hips as she pursed her lips and frowned at him.

“A chance to try, perhaps,” she heard Draco mutter.

“As if you could defeat me in a duel,” Harry shot back.

“Please, I could beat you in a minute. All they seem to teach you here are light curses. I’d have you crying for help before you could fire your first curse.”

“Well, why don’t we see just how…”

“Enough,” she yelled, stopping them before the argument got out of control. “Draco is right, though. We know very little dark magic, and it could certainly come in useful on Thursday.”

“Do you know what is going to happen?”

“I told you already, Harry, I know as much as you do. If I hear anything else, then you’ll be the first one I’ll talk to.”

“How come Snape didn’t tell you?”

“Have you tried to awaken him?” she asked, ignoring Harry’s question and walking over to where Ron was. The last thing she wanted to do was try and explain the situation between her and Severus to any of them.

“I tried all the spells I knew, but they didn’t work, so I thought I’d just let the curse wear off. It wasn’t a powerful one, after all.”

Without bothering to reply, she kneeled beside Ron and waved her wand over his head. After a moment, his eyes fluttered open.

“What happened?” he asked, groaning in pain as he slowly stood up.

“You didn’t manage to block the last curse. Sorry, mate.”

“It’s okay,” he muttered, rubbing his sore shoulder. “What’s he doing here?” he asked, when he noticed Draco.

“He will help us practise,” she said, walking back to the middle of the room, where Harry and Draco were. “He will,” she repeated more firmly, when she saw Ron about to complain, “and I don’t want to hear another word about it. If we are going to face Voldemort in three days, then we will need all the help we can get. And especially you,” she added, turning to Harry, who simply nodded.

“Let’s get started then,” he said, stepping closer to Draco and asking, “What first?”
They had been practising spells, charms, and mainly curses for hours nonstop, and every single inch of her body ached. Although she had already known most of the curses Draco had taught them, she hadn’t had a chance to practise them until then, and she had been hit a few times.

Never in her life had she been more relieved to hear Molly calling them for dinner. After all that duelling, she was more than glad to find an excuse to stop, at least momentarily.

“Let’s go then,” she said, walking to where Ron had fallen and helping him up.

“Yes, I’m starving,” he said, walking with her to the door with a slight limp.

“I’ll go later,” Harry said, dodging Draco’s curse and firing three more, one right after the other.

She had never seen him more determined, more eager to learn, to improve. He was like a machine, mastering each curse with a speed that was both surprising and frightening, so focused on what he was doing he didn’t even seem to get tired, or feel any pain from the few times Draco had managed to hit him.

“No, Harry, you need to eat. And you have to rest too.”

“Just give me another hour.”

“Draco,” she tried, “you need rest as well. You shouldn’t even be doing this.”

“I already told you, I am all right,” he said, summoning an old table and moving it right in front of him, blocking Harry’s attack. “Too weak,” he yelled at Harry, as he sent what was left of the table out of the way.

“Leave them,” Ron said, tugging on her sleeve. “There’s no point insisting.”

She turned to Ron with a frown, ready to tell him she knew the only reason why he was so willing to leave was because he wanted food, but decided against it. He was wrong, after all. She could hear the determination in Harry’s voice, and knew better than to insist.

“One hour,” she finally said, and saw Harry nod as he continued to duel Draco. “If you’re not in the kitchen by them, I’ll come here, make you stop, and then drag you both there myself, and you know I could do it without breaking a sweat.”

“Sure you could, Granger,” Draco mocked, although she was pleased to hear a hint of apprehension in his voice.

“We’ll be there,” Harry assured her, and she finally allowed Ron to drag her down the hallway, towards the kitchen.

“Hermione, what’s wrong?” Ron asked, when she suddenly froze in place, just as they reached the kitchen door. “What is it?” he repeated when she didn’t reply, looking worriedly at her, but she wasn’t paying him any attention.

She had heard Severus, had heard his voice coming from the library; she was sure of it. He was there, at last. It was her chance to see him, to talk to him.

“Hermione?” Ron called again, and she finally turned to him.

“You go ahead; I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Where are you going?”

“I have to do something, I’ll be back soon,” she said absently, making her way to the library.

The door was open, but she didn’t step inside right away. Severus was there, his back to her, along with Remus and Kingsley, and none of them seemed to have noticed her.

“So how many can we count on?” Kingsley asked.

“So far I have managed to convince almost twenty, but I think more will join us given time,” Remus replied.

“Time is what we do not have; there are only a few days left, and we need as much help as we can get. The Dark Lord’s army is bigger than the Order’s, and the advantage of surprise won’t be enough to defeat them.”

“You could have given us more time to prepare. Five days is hardly enough to get ready for something like that,” Kingsley complained.

“There are reasons why this couldn’t wait any longer. Suffice it to say, this is the moment in which the Dark Lord is weakest, and given enough time, he would find a way to remedy that situation. It was either now or never.”

“At his weakest? What do you mean by that?”

“That information is not for me to tell you. You know all that you need to make sure the Order is ready. I have to leave now.”

“Leave? You only just got here, there are many things you haven’t explained yet.”

“That will have to wait. The longer I am away from the Dark Lord’s headquarters, the more likely he is to suspect me. Now if you’ll excuse me,” he said, turning around to face the door.

He froze in place for a second, his eyes locked on her, a surprised expression on his face, quickly masked by indifference. Without a word, or even acknowledging her, he stepped forward, her hesitation at his attitude giving him enough time to walk past her and toward the entrance door.

“Severus,” she called, although keeping her tone low, as she hurriedly followed him, but his long strides made it impossible for her to reach him without breaking into a run. “Severus, wait,” she called again, but he didn’t even seem to hear her. Feeling slightly ridiculous, and hoping no one would see her, she started to run after him.

He had reached the door already, and was stepping outside, ready to Apparate away. Without stopping to think, she ran to him and grabbed his arm before he could leave.

“Severus,” she said, turning him around to face her.

“What is it, Miss Granger?” he snarled at her.

“I need to talk to you.”

“I seem to remember you saying you did not wish to speak with me, not long ago.”

“Severus, please,” she begged.

“Hermione?” a voice called from behind her. Not even bothering to see who it was, she closed the door behind her, leaving her and Severus outside the house.

“Please,” she said again, feeling his eyes locked on hers, as if he were searching inside them, although she knew he wasn’t using Legilimency.

“Hold on,” he said, and she did so without question, feeling the world around her vanish as he Apparated them both away.

“Where are we?” she asked, as soon as she felt the firm ground beneath her feet again. Feeling him trying to move back, she let go of his arm, her eyes taking in their surroundings.

“Muggle London,” he replied. “The last thing I need is to be overheard by some meddling Order member.”

“But why are we in the middle of a street?”

“I do not have all day, so if there is something you want to say, then say it and let’s get this over with.”

“I want to know what happened the other night, with Draco.”

“That is none of your concern,” he replied briskly.

“None of my concern?” she shot back, and then took a deep breath to try and control her temper. Arguing would get her nowhere. “What happened?” she tried again.

“I thought you had seen it all for yourself already. Is this what you needed so desperately to talk to me about?”

“Please, don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“Do you think this is a game?” he asked angrily, backing her against the wall. “One moment you won’t talk to me, refuse to hear what I have to say, reach your own conclusions about things you know nothing of, the next you run after me out of the Order’s headquarters, stop me when I try to leave and demand I answer your questions, in a place where anyone could hear. Believe it or not, Miss Granger, the world does not revolve around you, waiting to follow your every wish, and neither do I. You had your chance to get the answers you wanted and you refused to listen. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have more important things to do,” he snarled, pushing himself away from her.

“Wait,” she said, taking one of his arms in both her hands to keep him in place. “I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you, and I am sorry I doubted you, but I had asked you to protect Draco, and you had told me you would. I was the one that told you how to find him, and I saw what you did to him. You may have had your reasons to do what you did,” she said, “but you betrayed my trust, and I had the right to be angry. I will not apologize for that.”

“I don’t want an apology. You should know by now that there are things more important than one person’s well being, even if that person is Draco Malfoy.”

“Please, tell me what happened,” she said, keeping both her hands wrapped around his arm, enjoying his closeness.

“I thought you had already seen it for yourself,” he said, and although his tone was still sharp, she was glad to notice he didn’t seem so angry anymore.

“I only saw you torturing Draco. He told me that was everything he remembered.”

“Of course he did.”

“I also saw you talking to him, asking him questions, but I couldn’t hear what you said.”

“I was telling him to answer the Dark Lord’s questions, tell him what he knew.”

“Why would you do that? If Draco told Voldemort what he knew, then he would find out you’re really helping the Order.”

“I knew he wouldn’t speak,” he simply replied.

“How? With that kind of torture, I cannot imagine him keeping quiet, especially since he doesn’t owe the Order anything.”

“Let me rephrase then; I knew he wouldn’t talk.”

“What?”

“I clearly couldn’t risk Draco breaking down, so I had to make sure he wouldn’t be able to speak, if he had wanted to. It is interesting how most forget the uses of some of the most basics of spells, such as Silencing Charms. The one I used was particularly helpful in this case; Draco was able to scream, but he was incapable of forming words.”

She looked at Severus for a moment, surprised by the way he could so easily talk about the torture he had inflicted on someone, and yet awed once again at his cunning and his courage. She knew he had taken a great risk by taking to Voldemort someone who could so easily expose him. Things were starting to fall into place in her mind, starting to make sense, but there was something missing, something that wasn’t quite right.

“But there are other ways,” she suddenly blurted out.

“Excuse me?”

“Even if Draco couldn’t speak, there are other ways in which Voldemort could have found out the truth. I was led to believe he was a very powerful Legilimens.”

“He is,” Severus replied, and she saw a strange gleam in his eyes, as if he was pleased with her line of thought.

“So Draco managed to keep him out of his mind, even through all the torture?”

“Of course not,” he spat. “Draco wouldn’t be able to stop the Dark Lord’s attempt to search his mind for a second, even if he had been at his best.”

“Then how?” she asked, confused.

“Expletus Obsequium,” he replied.

“Complete submission?” she asked, after a moment.

“It is an ancient spell, one that grants the caster knowledge of everything that goes through the victim’s mind at any given time.” At her frown, he continued. “It was created centuries ago, for pureblood landlords to control their slaves, and soon it became common to use it on their wives as well. Needless to say, the spell is highly illegal now.”

“But how would that help you?” she asked, intrigued and always eager to learn more.

“I modified the original spell, so that it would not only grant me access to Draco’s mind, but also complete control over it.”

“So you stopped Voldemort’s attempts to enter his mind, and then showed him what you wanted him to see?” she asked, eyes wide in awe; she could see the faintest ghost of a smile touch his lips at her words.

“Indeed,” he replied.

“What did you show him?” she asked, and watched him hesitate for a moment, as if trying to decide how much to tell her.

“I let the Dark Lord see proof of Draco’s betrayal, of which he had already known. I showed him Draco talking to you, giving you information about the Death Eaters’ plans,” he started, his eyes searching hers for any kind of reaction, but she showed him none. At that point, she was long past surprise, and simply eager to learn the truth at last. “I also let the Dark Lord see Draco retrieving the Horcrux for you. He knew already that all but one had been destroyed, so there was no point in hiding it from him,” he said. “Once I was certain the Dark Lord was convinced of Draco’s betrayal, without a shadow of a doubt, I let him see you arranging a meeting with Draco five days from them; this Thursday.”

“The battle you warned us about, the one everyone’s getting ready for,” she gasped, and he nodded.

“The Dark Lord now believes that you, Potter and Weasley will meet with Draco that night, away from the protection of the Order of the Phoenix, and he has decided it would be the best opportunity to rid himself of Potter once and for all.”

“But why five days?” she asked. “That hardly gives us any time to prepare.”

“It was as much time as I could safely grant the Order. The Dark Lord now knows only one of his Horcruxes remains, but it would take him days to create a new one, and after having split his soul so many times, such an action would leave him weak for days. I could not risk giving him enough time to attempt to create another one.”

“What about the werewolves? You said it had been you that had led Voldemort to believe they had betrayed him as well.”

“Lupin said the members of the pack were losing their patience, tired of the Dark Lord sending them on suicide missions. He believed they would turn against him if it continued to happen.”

“So by telling him they had betrayed him, you got the Death Eaters to attack them?”

“Yes. After that, almost all werewolves refuse to help the Dark Lord. Many of them have agreed to fight for the Order, and Lupin believes he can convince more of them to do it.”

“But they could all have gotten killed; it was too dangerous.”

“Everything is dangerous, but it was a necessary move. We will need all the help we can get and more.”

“So now Voldemort thinks he will find Ron, Harry, Draco and I alone somewhere this Thursday, and will attack us there, in an attempt to kill Harry.”

“Yes.”

“But if he thinks it will be just the three of us, then why do you need so many witches and wizards on our side? He wouldn’t need to take many Death Eaters with him for just the three of us, and we should be able to outnumber them easily.”

“He will only take a few Death Eaters with him,” Severus said, “but he will be ready for more. He will not risk the opportunity to kill Potter. I am in charge of all the arrangements for the attack. The Dark Lord will be waiting for the four of you with only twenty Death Eaters, but the others will be ready in case they are needed, and they will be. If everything goes as planned, the Order should have a small advantage, because they will be ready for the attack, but that will only last a few minutes. As soon as the Dark Lord realizes what is happening, he will summon the rest of his troops, and if the Order isn’t ready, then it will be the end.”

“This time, Voldemort will be in the battle,” she said, tightening her hold on his arm and pulling him closer. “You will not be able to hide your true allegiances any more.”

“The time for hiding is long past. Now all that matters is winning the battle.”

“He will go after you,” she told him. “As soon as he finds out you are a traitor, he will kill you.”

“If that helps the Order win, then it won’t matter, and if it doesn’t, then it won’t make any difference.”

“Aren’t you scared?” she asked him softly, holding his hand against her chest.

“There is nothing to fear about death.”

“You sound so brave,” she said, with a small smile. “When you left me with my parents and went to see him, I was terrified,” she confessed, trying to blink back the tears the memories brought. “When I saw Draco on the floor at headquarters, I thought it was you for a moment.”

She felt his other hand on her cheek, so soft, almost caring, and she leaned into his touch.

“I thought I’d lost you.”

“You foolish woman,” he said, leaning closer to her, his eyes locked on hers as he spoke. “You shouldn’t worry about me,” he whispered against her lips. “You shouldn’t care about me.”

“How can I not?” she asked, tilting her head up so that her lips finally touched his, not giving him a chance to reply.

She could remember the feelings as if it had happened all over again, the fear of not knowing where he was, what was happening to him, the angst the thought of losing him made her feel. It was so deep, so terrible, that it made her chest ache, made her feel as if the air around her had suddenly vanished, and she couldn’t take another breath.

Wrapping her hands around his neck she pulled him to her, deepening the kiss, needing to feel him, to know he was there with her, that he was safe. Sensing the desperation in her, he moved his arms around her waist, holding her against him. His kiss was just as hungry as hers, his touch searing even through layers of clothes. Did he need her as much as she needed him?

But all too soon he pulled back, his forehead resting against hers as he caught his breath.

“He is calling,” he whispered after a moment.

“As always, his timing is impeccable.”

“Indeed.”

“Will you be all right?” she asked, and he nodded.

“I will go to the Order’s headquarters tomorrow to help with the preparations.”

“I’ll be waiting,” she said, tilting her head slightly and kissing him once more, this time slowly.

After a moment, he pulled away again, his hand lingering on her cheek as he stepped back.

“Come back to me,” she whispered, so softly she wasn’t sure he had heard her, but his eyes locked on hers, so deep, so unfathomable, and then he smiled, nodded, and Apparated away.