Saving your life

“Damn,” she cursed, her eyes on the now empty doorway. With one last glance in Draco’s direction, she hurriedly started towards the open door. She had to find Severus, had to talk to him. She had to know what was going on.

“Hermione.” A deep, soft voice stopped her, and she turned around again to face Kingsley. She had completely forgotten he was there.

She looked at him for a second and then hesitantly turned to the door again. But this time, as he spoke her name again, he wrapped his fingers around her arm, gently yet firmly, stopping her.

“Not now, I have to go.”

“No you don’t. Just let him go.”

“Didn’t you hear what Draco said?” she asked. If she didn’t hurry, Severus would leave.

“I did.”

“I have to talk to him, Kingsley. I have to know what happened. If there was a plan…”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, pulling her back when she tried to move towards the doorway. “Whatever reason he had, whatever plan he was following, that doesn’t change what he did. You saw it yourself, Hermione. Why do you need more?”

She looked at him for a moment, not sure what to reply. How could she explain it to him? How could she make him understand she needed to go to Severus, that she needed to speak to him? She knew Kingsley was worried about her, that he was trying to protect her, but no matter what she said, she didn’t think he would ever understand.

“I have to go,” she said, trying to move to the door, but he wouldn’t let go of her arm.

“Just let him go, Hermione,” he said softly.

She turned to Kingsley again, her eyes locked on his. How much did he know? Had he somehow figured out what was going on? Had he found out about her and Severus’ relationship, if it could be called that? And if he had, why hadn’t he told anyone else?

Seeming to read the question in her mind, he simply nodded his head, and she felt her knees go weak.

“You…you know?” she asked in a weak voice. She wasn’t ready for that, wasn’t ready to face someone who knew about them, for her friends to find out. “How long?” she muttered, afraid of the answer she would receive. It was the only thing she could think to ask at the moment.

“I’d had my suspicions for some time,” he said, “but I wasn’t sure until the night we went out for a drink.”

She gasped and covered her mouth with her free hand, feeling all the blood in her veins rush to her cheeks. She could remember what had happened that night. Kingsley had said he was taking her out for a drink and Severus, probably upset by the comment for some reason, had made the pair of knickers she had accidentally forgotten in his place appear in front of her, in midair, for everyone to see. She had hoped she had been fast enough to take them and hide them, that Kingsley hadn’t seen them, but now she knew he had. He certainly hadn’t made any comment at the time, but now she knew that, not only had he seen it, but he had also found out about her and Severus then.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked hesitantly.

“Because you were so upset with him, I thought you were going to realize what was going on by yourself.”

“What?”

“He’s using you, Hermione,” he said, and she could tell he truly believed what he was saying. But it wasn’t true, she knew it wasn’t. “First he used you to pass information to the Order, then to join us again, and to gain our trust. Now he’s using you to remain here, no matter what. What do you think he will do when he doesn’t need you anymore?”

“That’s not true,” she said, yanking her arm free. “That’s not how it is.” Shaking her head, she took a step away from him.

“You are smarter than that, Hermione,” he said softly, sadness evident in his eyes. “Does he have you so blinded, so ready to believe his every word, that you don’t see the truth?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Why was he saying those things? Severus wouldn’t do that to her, he wouldn’t use her like that.

“Don’t I?” he asked, but his tone was still gentle, even understanding. He wasn’t angry at her, he was worried. He was trying to make her see things his way, making her see things he seemed to honestly believe. He was looking after her, but that didn’t change what his words did to her, how they hurt; because he was making her doubt.

“I have been working with him for years, Hermione,” he continued after a moment. “I have seen what he is capable of. What you saw today,” he said, glancing at Draco’s sleeping form for a moment, “is nothing. Severus is good at what he does, the best perhaps, but he has no boundaries, and no morals. He is not afraid to harm or kill anyone who stands in his way, to get what he wants. He is using you now, and he won’t hesitate to take you out of his life when he doesn’t need you anymore.”

She shook her head again, and took another step away from him. How could he say those things to her? How could he believe them? He obviously didn’t know Severus like she did. He would never do that to her, never treat her that way. Kingsley was wrong, he had to be.

She had gone through so much with Severus, she knew she shouldn’t doubt him anymore. He had proved time and again that he was on their side, and he had risked himself for her more times than she could count.

Yet, the voice of doubt spoke in her head, he had proved capable, perhaps even willing, to get her out of his way when she seemed unnecessary. Had he not, after all, taken all her memories away after he had finally managed to return to the Order?

He had told her it was to save her, because Voldemort had ordered her death, the voice of reason argued, but like before, it was becoming more and more faint.

If she was honest with herself, she couldn’t help but wonder, deep inside, why Severus would care about her. She was just some witch. A witch, in fact, that he had hated for years. She was bossy, and opinionated, and never stopped asking questions. Why would he want her? With all the witches out there, why would he care for her, if not for the reasons Kingsley had mentioned? She hated herself for doubting him, but she couldn’t help it.

“You deserve better, Hermione,” Kingsley said, stepping closer to her. “You deserve someone who really cares about you, someone that will love you for who you are.”

Taking another step closer, he took her hand in his.

“I’m sorry I have to tell you this,” he said, “but it is for your own good. He will only hurt you, and you don’t deserve that.”

She watched him lean closer to her, but it felt as if her mind had suddenly shut down, and she was incapable of logical though, much less movement. She was fighting an internal battle, a part of her sure she could trust Severus, the other arguing the exact opposite. She couldn’t react to anything else.

As if sent by the gods, Draco’s violent fit of cough startled them both and shattered the moment. Suddenly aware of what had almost happened, she took the chance and hurried over to Draco, vaguely hearing Kingsley silently leave the room and close the door behind him.

Carefully slipping her arm under Draco’s neck, ready to help him up and try to stop the cough, she was surprised to notice it stop the moment the door clicked closed, a devilish smirk replacing the pained expression that had been on his face seconds before.

“Draco Malfoy, what are you up to?” she asked, a faint smile touching her lips now she saw he was better.

“Couldn’t let that bloody old bastard take advantage of my girl,” he replied, his voice still weak, but tinted with the confidence that had always surrounded him.

“Your girl?”

Instead of replying, he locked eyes with her for a moment.

“You wouldn’t happen to have some potion for the pain here, would you?” he asked, changing the subject just as she was about to speak.

“Severus said he couldn’t give you any more potions for now. You’ve taken too many as it is.”

“Bloody wonderful,” he groaned. “How about a drink then?”

“Of course,” she said, pouring some water into a small glass and helping him sit, so he wouldn’t choke on it.

He groaned again in pain at the movement, but didn’t say anything as she helped him drink, lying back down after a moment.

“Bloody git didn’t say it would hurt this much,” he groaned, closing his eyes for a moment as his face paled again.

“You mean Severus?” she asked, eager for information.

“Of course,” he replied. “He said he would take away most of the pain.” He groaned again as he shifted, trying to get more comfortable. “But if what I felt was only part of the pain I should have felt…”

“What happened, Draco?” she asked hesitantly.

“Didn’t he tell you?” he asked, and she shook her head. “Can’t you tell just by looking at me?”

“I know he tortured you.”

“Bloody right he did. It’s a miracle he didn’t kill me in the process.”

“But you said there was a plan,” she whispered. “A few minutes ago, when you first woke up, you asked me if Severus’ plan had worked.”

“Well, it obviously did, or I would be dead now.”

“What was the plan, Draco? Why did he hurt you?”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “He said it would be better, safer, if I didn’t know. He said it was the only way to make it work.”

“But he was talking to you,” she insisted. “While he tortured you, he was talking to you. It looked as if he was asking you some questions.”

“How do you know that?” he asked with a strange expression on his face.

“I saw it,” she replied hesitantly after a moment.

“What?” he asked, suddenly sounding both angry and alarmed.

“When Severus brought you here, you were barely alive. He had to leave you to go find the potions you needed, and he only told us to take care of you until he returned. We had to know what had happened to you, what curses you had been hit with, so we could help you. The only way for us to do that was looking into your memories.”

“What did you see?” he asked, visibly relaxing, and she wondered what memories it was he had been so afraid they could have seen.

“The images weren’t very clear, and seemed to jump ahead all the time. It was very confusing. All I saw was Severus cursing you, and talking as well.”

“Then you saw all there is to see, at least for my part.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, confused.

“That is all I remember.”

“But what was he asking? I couldn’t hear him.”

“That is probably because I can’t remember what he said. I’m not even sure I could hear him myself when it happened.”

“But…”

“I’ve told you everything I know,” he said. “If you want to know what really happened, you will have to ask Severus, although I doubt he will tell you anything.”

“Why not?”

“You know how he is; he just loves his secrets playing mystery man.”

“Why did you agree to help him, if you didn’t even know what he had planned?”

“Because I trust you,” he said simply. “You had told him where to find me, and I knew you wouldn’t have if you didn’t trust him, if you thought he wanted to harm me. I didn’t trust him, I simply trusted your judgement.”

She was amazed at the honesty in his words, at how much he seemed to believe in her, to trust her.

“Thank you,” she whispered, and saw a faint smile touch his lips.

“I hope it was the right thing to do, though. I had to let him take my mother. He said he would keep her safe, but the truth is, I have no way of knowing where she is, or if she is all right.”

“Your mother is fine,” she said confidently, and saw his eyes widen in surprise at her statement.

“She is? How do you know?”

“I saw her this morning.”

“You saw her? Where is she, where did he take her?”

“She’s safe,” she assured him. “Perhaps not entirely happy, but she is safe.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know the location. She is with my parents, in a safe house.”

“He is keeping my mother with your parents?” Draco asked, surprised and amused at the same time.

“And wandless, too.”

“He has gone crazy,” he said, and she laughed.

“You don’t have to worry about her.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For everything.”

“You should get some rest, you are still too weak,” she said, turning around and taking a step closer to the door.

“What? Don’t I even get a goodnight kiss?” he asked, the mischievous look on his eyes belying the innocent expression on his face.

“Don’t push your luck, ferret,” she told him over her shoulder, taking the few steps that separated her from the door and stepping out of the room, leaving him to rest.

“So Malfoy’s still alive,” Ron said, as soon as she walked into the hallway. It would seem he and Harry had stayed close by, probably wanting to know what was happening inside the room.

“Kingsley told us he was awake,” Harry added.

“He is.”

“So what did he say?”

“He can’t remember what happened.”

“That seems to happen a lot, lately,” Ron remarked snidely, but she ignored him.

“So he will recover?”

“He will.”

“I’m not sure whether I should be relieved or worried about that.”

“He has helped us many times, Harry,” she said, getting tired of having to defend everyone in front of them. “He took more risks for us than many Order members. I trust him, and perhaps it’s time you trust him too.”

“Well, perhaps not all of us are so willing to trust Death Eaters.”

“Will you stop being a prat, Ronald?” she asked, tiredly. “You are smart, and a good man, why don’t you forget the things that happened in the past and give them a chance to prove themselves, at least?”

He remained silent, apparently shocked by her words. She knew he wasn’t being mean, and didn’t mean to hurt her, or be so thick headed, but even if he didn’t say it out loud, she knew he worried a lot. Just like most of his family, he seemed to always be worried about everyone’s well being, even if he sometimes did silly things that endangered others instead of protect them. For now, at least, he seemed willing to listen to her, and perhaps give Severus and Draco the benefit of the doubt.

She wanted to go to Severus, even after all that Kingsley had told her. She wanted to know what he had tried to say to her, wanted to hear his version of the events, but he had left headquarters already, and the only place to go looking for him she could think of was his house. She wasn’t about to just Apparate there. He would be back soon, he had to. He probably needed to check on Draco, or at least give them some instructions for helping him, like what potions he needed to take and when. She would wait for him there, and when he came, she would confront him.

Hating the way everyone in the house seemed to be looking at her, although she couldn’t really be sure it wasn’t just her perception, she spent the rest of the afternoon sitting by Draco. He hadn’t woken up again, and it was just about the only place in the house where she knew she wouldn’t be disturbed.

Having decided to skip dinner, she was contemplating the possibility of sneaking to the kitchen to grab a snack when loud thump startled her.

The Order members had left already, and everyone in the house had gone to bed not long before, so she decided to go see what the source of the noise was, hoping perhaps Severus was back.

Wrapping her fingers around her wand just in case, she quickly opened the door and stepped outside of the small infirmary, making her way down the hallway and towards the entrance door.

The lights were off, but she could clearly see four figures standing together by the doorway, talking in hushed tones, seemingly waiting for someone to arrive?

“What’s going on?” she asked, when she recognized the figures, and they all turned to her, wands raised, seemingly startled by the interruption.

“What are you doing up?” Molly asked, as they lowered their wands, and she stepped closer to them.

“Not tired. What’s going on?”

“We don’t know,” Kingsley replied, walking over to the window and peering outside. I received a message saying I had to come here fast.”

She looked at the other three occupants of the room, Mad Eye, Molly and Arthur, wondering why they were there, but they seemed as distracted as Kingsley was.

“Who are you waiting for?”

“He’s here,” Kingsley said, moving away from the window as Molly pulled the front door open.

There, standing on the landing, was a man, wrapped in a thick, black coat, his face hidden from view by the hood. As soon as the door was open, the man stepped inside, stumbling slightly as he tried to walk, and reaching for Arthur’s arm for support.

“Are you all right?” Molly asked alarmed, and the man nodded.

“All those curses left me a little weak.”

“Remus,” Hermione gasped, when she recognized the voice. Her first instinct was to run to him, but he was obviously too weak for warm welcomes.

It had been weeks since she had last seen him. Over the last two years, he had been leaving the Order for weeks at a time, sometimes months, but no one had ever told her where he went to, no matter how many times she asked. Perhaps this was her chance to find out. Curiosity, it seemed, easily got the best of her.

“What happened to you?” she asked him, as Arthur helped him sit and Molly muttered something about healing potions and hurried away.

“Death Eaters attack,” he groaned, as he rested back on the couch.

“Why would he send his men to attack you? I thought the pack was on his side,” Kingsley said. So that was where Remus had been.

“They were, at least most. I have no idea why he attacked us, but this changes things now.”

“Why didn’t Severus inform us of the attack?” Kingsley asked, sounding almost angry.

“He did. He contacted me a few minutes before the Death Eaters arrived. He said it had been a sudden decision, and that I had to get out of there. If he hadn’t warned me, we would have all been killed. He gave us just enough time to get ready.”

“Didn’t he say anything else?”

“He told me he would come here as soon as he could, that he would explain things to us then.”

“How many werewolves were killed?”

“Not many. I daresay Voldemort lost more Death Eaters tonight than wolves he got killed.”

“How will this affect your work with the pack?” Mad Eye asked from across the room.

“I am positive this will turn to our advantage. Whatever support the pack was willing to give Voldemort is now gone. Until tonight, convincing the others to remain neutral was the best I could hope for; after this, perhaps they would even be willing to join us in the fight. They do not like being betrayed.”

“Perhaps we can come up with a plan, a proposal for them. We could offer them our help in exchange for theirs. Support against the werewolf legislation could be a good start,” Arthur suggested.

“It would be,” Remus said, but before he could continue the door opened again.

Severus stood tall by the open door, his eyes searching the room, taking in every occupant and stopping when he saw her. After a second, he turned back to Remus.

“Are you all right?”

“Yes,” Remus replied. “Thank you.”

A small nod was the only response he received as Severus stepped inside, closed the door, and took a step closer to them.

“I do not have much time; I have to return to headquarters shortly. How is Draco?” he asked, looking at Kingsley.

“He seems to be better.”

“Give him these,” Severus said, pulling a few vials out of his robes and handing them to him. “Half a vial every two hours. He should be almost back to normal in a day.”

Kingsley looked at him for a moment, surprise and disbelief mixed on his face, probably wondering how Draco could heal so fast from such terrible wounds, but he said nothing about it, and neither did Severus.

“I have been informed there haven’t been many losses on your side,” he said to Remus, after a moment.

“As soon as you told me the Death Eaters were coming, we sent most members of the pack away, leaving only the strongest ones to fight.”

“I assume that leaves you in a better position to convince the others to join the light.”

“Probably.”

“Good. They will be needed.”

“Why did they attack us? The pack had already agreed to help Voldemort; he had no reason to harm us.”

“He believed the werewolves had betrayed him, that they were about to switch sides.”

“What made him think that?”

“I did. I would have warned you sooner, but I didn’t have a chance. I didn’t think he would organize an attack in only a few hours.”

“You told him that?” Kingsley asked, but Severus didn’t seem to hear him, or if he did, he decidedly ignored him.

“You will have to go back tonight. We need to know if we can count on them, and how many will be willing to fight.” He waited for Remus to nod before continuing, giving orders with an ease that surprised her. “Arthur, you need to contact everyone in the Ministry willing to join us, as well as all the pureblood families you can, both neutral and favouring the Order.” When Arthur nodded as well, he turned to Mad Eye. “Everyone you know, Alastor. If you think they can help, bring them here.” Looking at Kingsley, he continued. “Organize an Order meeting for tomorrow, early morning. All the Order members will have to get ready, along with everyone willing to join us. Put them through the toughest training program you have. I will contact you again as soon as I can to work on the tactical issues. There’s not much time.”

“Not much time?”

“We have less than five days before it happens.”

“What are you talking about? What do we have to get ready for?”

“War.”