Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

A/N: Thanks as always to everyone for your comments.

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Alone
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The school was surprisingly quiet when they arrived in the Entrance Hall. Then Sirius remembered that not only was it the weekend, but that most of the school had been awoken in the early hours of the morning, and were therefore probably sleeping in later than usual.

Remus practically flew up the stairs as he raced to the hospital wing. He didn’t turn round to see whether Sirius was keeping up with him or not. Sirius, who had stalled only to retrieve James’s cloak, was hard on his heels and arrived at the door to the hospital wing just seconds behind Remus.

Sirius could hear a man shouting inside the room, but didn’t recognise the voice.

“It’s Charlie’s father,” Remus whispered as he looked in through the door’s small window. Sirius wouldn’t have believed it was possible, but Remus paled even further than he already was at the sight of Mr Grahams.

“I want the Aurors out looking for the monster!” Mr Grahams yelled.

“The full moon is over now,” Professor McGonagall replied. She was as calm as ever and that did a little to ease Sirius’s own fears.

“I want him dead!” Mr Grahams shouted. “He should have been executed years ago, before he had the chance to maul my daughter!”

Sirius could see Remus was swaying slightly and he reached out a hand to steady him.

“I bit her,” Remus whispered, his eyes wide and fearful. “I… I…”

Sirius didn’t know what to say, but it didn’t matter, because Remus had turned on his heel and was running back down the corridor. Sirius only wondered for a few seconds where Remus was heading. He hurried after him and followed him into the boys’ toilets a little further down the hallway.

“Remus?” he called quietly, unwilling to alert anyone else who might be in there to his friend’s presence. The only reply was the sound of retching coming from the nearest stall.

Sirius turned to the sinks, picked up one of the empty glasses, filled it with water, and went over to the stall.

Remus was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the cubical wall. He was white as a sheet and shaking badly. Sirius wished that he had some sort of calming potion on him, because Remus certainly looked like he needed one right now.

“Here,” Sirius said, passing him the glass and reaching over to pull the chain.

Remus washed out his mouth, nearly dropping the glass in the process. When he was done, Sirius took the glass from him and placed it on the floor.

“They’re going to kill me, aren’t they?” Remus whispered, his voice trembling with every word. “Even though I never meant to bite her, they’re going to kill me.”

Sirius sat down beside him and put his arm awkwardly around Remus’s shoulders. “You don’t know that. Look at Greyback; he’s bitten loads of people and he’s still alive.”

“Because he used his pureblood connections to keep him alive.”

“I won’t let them kill you,” Sirius told him. “I promise.”

“I guess I’m just like he is after all,” Remus whispered. “I hate being a monster.”

“You’re not a monster,” Sirius whispered back. He hugged the trembling werewolf close to him, stroking his hair as he tried to calm his fears.

Eventually, Remus stopped shaking, although Sirius continued to hold him close.

“I have to go and see if she’s okay,” Remus said quietly. “Will you come with me? I don’t want to go in there on my own.”

Sirius shook his head. “I think we should go to Dumbledore. Charlie’s father looked furious and I don’t trust him not to take the law into his own hands.”

“We don’t know the password for Dumbledore’s office,” Remus pointed out.

“Then we’ll get it from McGonagall.”

“She’s with Charlie’s father.”

Sirius scowled when he realised that Remus was right. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. You take James’s cloak and wait outside the ward. I’ll go get the password from McGonagall and then we’ll go see Dumbledore together.”

“You’re not going to leave me, are you?” Remus asked, reaching out with his good hand to grasp Sirius’s arm like an anchor.

Sirius shook his head. “Never,” he replied, impulsively kissing Remus quickly on the lips as he pulled him to his feet.

It didn’t take long before the two of them were walking into Dumbledore’s office, where they found the headmaster already waiting for them, together with Madam Pomfrey.

“Remus!” Madam Pomfrey greeted him with a tight hug. “I was about to come and find you. I’d had visions of you lying dead in the forest. Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” Remus replied, brushing off the fussing Healer with mild embarrassment. Madam Pomfrey took a knowing look at his wrist and quickly whipped out her wand to fix it as good as new.

“Why aren’t you with Charlie?” Sirius asked.

“Charlene has been taken to Saint Mungo’s,” Madam Pomfrey explained. “Her parents took her a few minutes ago.”

“Is she going to be alright?” Sirius questioned, Remus being too shocked by the news to do anything more than stumble towards one of the chairs.

Madam Pomfrey pushed a glass into Remus’s hand and ordered him to drink.

“What is it?” Remus asked suspiciously.

“A Calming Draught,” Madam Pomfrey replied. “A strong one. Drink it down, quickly now.”

Remus did as she ordered before repeating Sirius’s question about Charlene.

“Well, that rather depends on your point of view,” Dumbledore replied. “She’ll live, if that is what you are asking. She was awake and quite vocal before she left the castle.”

“Vocal?” Sirius questioned.

“Yelling at her father like she yells at her team mates after a bad game,” Madam Pomfrey explained. “I’m surprised the whole castle didn’t hear her.”

“But if she’s awake, why has she been taken to Saint Mungo’s?” Remus asked. “Surely that means that she’s okay?”

Madam Pomfrey shot a wary glance at the headmaster who gave a small nod of consent.

“Charlene was bitten,” Madam Pomfrey said, and Remus although he already knew, he couldn’t stop himself from making a small sound of distress. “The Healers at Saint Mungo’s have been working on some experimental cures for the early stages of Lycanthropy, and Charlene’s parents have taken her there to see about them.”

“What sort of cures?” Sirius asked, glancing at Remus and wondering if they were any nearer to finding a cure for someone like him.

“Nothing that will work,” Dumbledore said. “The Healers are experimenting with the old myths about silver, which you should both know by now are only myths. However, the old beliefs still linger, and the Grahams family, like many others, will try anything to find a cure, rather than see their child suffer.”

“But if the cure won’t work, that means that Charlie will become like Remus, won’t she?” Sirius asked.

“Perhaps,” Dumbledore replied. “Some who are bitten become werewolves, others don’t. There are many theories as to why some transform and others don’t, but none that has ever been proven conclusively true. If Charlene does not transform at the next full moon, it is likely that the Healers will believe it is their own work that has helped, and so the myths about silver will remain as strong as ever. If she is infected and does transform, then they will find another reason for why that happened.”

“So, we won’t know for sure until the next full moon?” Sirius asked.

“I’m afraid not,” Dumbledore said with a shake of his head.

“What happens now?” Remus whispered. Sirius noticed that his voice was steadier, but his hands were still shaking slightly.

“You’ll need to go to the Ministry to notify the Werewolf Registry of what has happened,” Dumbledore explained. “Mr Black may go with you, if you wish. I will be happy to accompany you as well, although since you are now of age, it isn’t strictly necessary.”

“That’s okay,” Remus replied. “I’ll just go with Sirius, if that’s alright with you?”

Remus turned to Sirius questioningly. “Of course,” he told him. “We can go right away.”

“Perhaps not right away,” Dumbledore suggested. “It might be better if you both cleaned up a little first. I don’t think anyone would mind, just this once, if Mr Black were to let you use the prefects’ bathroom. I think you’ll find the massage function of the bath will relieve a lot of the pain from last night. I would advise you to make your way to the Ministry before lunch though. It is always better for a werewolf to notify the Ministry of things such as this as soon as they are able.”

Both boys nodded and stood up to leave. The Ministry of Magic was awaiting their presence.

-o-xXx-o-

The witch at the reception desk of the Werewolf Registry was the same one Remus had seen on his last visit. She was older, wearing slightly less makeup and her hair was now a rather strange shade of peach. She looked as bored now as she had during the summer of the previous year.

“Do you have an appointment?” she asked as she shuffled parchments around her desk.

“No,” Remus said. “But I’ve been told to report an incident last night as soon as possible. I’m not sure who I have to speak to.”

“An incident?” the woman asked distractedly, finally finding her lost quill with an exclamation of relief.

“I… er… I bit someone last night,” Remus whispered, his face flushing in embarrassment.

The witch looked at him in annoyance. “You should be speaking to your Case Worker. What name is it?”

“Remus Lupin.”

“Your Case Worker’s name,” the witch clarified with a sigh of annoyance.

“I don’t know. I can’t remember.”

“Sweet Merlin, I really need to find a new job,” the witch muttered as she waved over a thankfully familiar face.

“Hello, Mr Billington,” Remus said as Angus hurried over.

“Hello, Remus,” Angus replied, grinning at him and guiding them away from the receptionist. “Don’t mind her, she’s been in a mood all morning. Rumour has it she and her boyfriend broke up in the elevator earlier. So, what brings you two here this morning? Shouldn’t you be at school?”

“You remember me?” Remus asked.

“Sure, I remember you,” Angus replied. “Not very often Orion Black comes into work with a werewolf in tow.”

“I guess not,” Remus said with a small smile. He gestured to Sirius. “This is Orion’s eldest son, Sirius.”

“Eldest son?” Angus asked. “Didn’t realise he had more than one.”

Remus heard Sirius draw in a sharp breath and he cringed in sympathy.

“So, what brings you here today?” Angus asked.

Remus looked around to see if anyone was in earshot, before whispering the reason they were there. “I bit someone last night.”

Angus rolled his eyes. “Well, what did you want to go and do something like that for?” he asked. “A nice young man like you shouldn’t want to go around biting people. You should know better than that.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Remus mumbled. “There was an earthquake and I escaped when the plaster of one of the walls of the basement came down.”

“The earthquake, eh? Heard about that on the wireless this morning. Quite a big one for this little island, wasn’t it?”

Remus shrugged. “I don’t remember it.”

“The girl on the desk said that Remus has to see his Case Worker,” Sirius interrupted. “Can you tell us who it is?”

“It’ll be in the Register,” Angus said, pointing across the room to the book that Remus had looked at on his last visit. “You remember how to look stuff up in it?” he asked Remus.

“The Quick Search Spell,” Remus replied with a nod. “I’m of age now,” he added, just to make sure it was clear and he wouldn’t get into any more trouble.

“Well, you know the way,” Angus said. “Case Workers are all located through there.” He pointed to a door to his left and Remus thanked him for his help, before he continued on his way.

The two boys went over to the Register and Remus pulled out his wand, which they had retrieved from Hogsmeade before flooing to the Ministry. He tapped the book and cast the spell to find his own listing, which appeared in front of him a moment later.

“Miss Dolores Umbridge,” Remus read aloud. “I guess we better go find her.”

Sirius nodded and they walked over to the door that Angus had pointed out to them.

Remus was starting to shake again as they walked down the long line of cubicles, each one displaying the nameplate of one of the workers. They seemed to be in alphabetical order and they made their way to the far side of the room, where they hoped to find Miss Umbridge.

They found her in one of the cubicles with a window. It appeared that Miss Umbridge had decided to decorate her cubicle in various shades of pink, which did nothing to help the queasiness in Remus’s stomach.

“Can I help you?” the short, stout woman asked with a cheerful smile. “Are you lost?”

“Are you Miss Umbridge?” Remus asked.

“Did you read the name on the cubicle wall?” the witch asked in a syrupy tone that immediately annoyed Sirius.

“Yes,” Remus replied. “But you might be someone else sitting at her desk waiting for her.”

“Someone else, sitting at my desk?” Miss Umbridge replied, sounding thoroughly aghast at the very idea.

“Sorry,” Remus hurriedly apologised. “I was told to come and speak with you.”

Miss Umbridge smiled and waved them to the two seats opposite her. Both were adorned with pink lace-edged cushions, which looked far more comfortable than they actually were.

Sirius looked around the small cubicle and hoped that they wouldn’t be there for long. The pink was just ghastly, and he was sure that one of cats on the plates on the wall behind Miss Umbridge was giving him the evil eye.

“Hem, hem.”

Sirius turned to Miss Umbridge and saw that she was staring at Remus’s leg, or more accurately, at Sirius’s hand, which was resting on Remus’s leg. “What?” he asked, rather more sharply than he perhaps should have.

Remus, grasping what the witch was hinting at, removed Sirius’s hand from his leg. He squeezed the fingers briefly in acknowledgement of his support, and turned back to Miss Umbridge. “I believe you’re my Case Worker,” he said with a smile. “My name’s Remus Lupin.”

Miss Umbridge stared back at him and although the smile was still on her face, there was something else there, too. Remus couldn’t quite put his finger on why he thought it, but he immediately came to the conclusion that Miss Umbridge didn’t actually like werewolves.

“Well, Mr Lupin,” Umbridge continued in the same sweet tone. “What can I do for you today?”

“There was an incident last night,” Remus began.

“Last night?”

“The full moon,” Remus clarified, wondering what sort of an idiot would hire a witch who didn’t follow the lunar cycle as a Case Worker for werewolves.

“Ah, yes,” Umbridge replied with a nod. “I understand the Werewolf Capture Unit broke its record for the year last night. Nine captures in one night.”

“Um.” Remus looked at Sirius out of the corner of his eye. Was this woman expecting him to be as thrilled and excited as she was at the news?

Sirius leaned forward in his seat, easily picking up on Remus’s hint to steer the subject back on course. “There was an accident last night,” he said.

“An accident?” Umbridge echoed, giving the impression that she didn’t believe there were such things at all.

“There was an earthquake,” Remus continued. “The plaster of one of the walls of my basement came down; it was the part that had the runes on it, the runes that kept the barrier up. I… I escaped.”

“Well, that certainly won’t do,” Umbridge replied sternly, although the smile was still eerily on her face. “Since you clearly can’t handle the full moons, I’ll see that you’re transported to a Camp right away. Do you have any preference as to location? I understand that the Fens are quite popular.”

“What?” Sirius interrupted. “Remus isn’t going to a Camp. We’re just here to report what happened.”

Miss Umbridge smiled and shook her head. “And I’m here to ensure that the humans are protected from monsters like werewolves.”

“Remus isn’t a monster,” Sirius snapped. “What sort of a Case Worker are you?”

“Sirius, don’t,” Remus warned. “Miss Umbridge. I was told to come and tell you what happened.”

“Of course, of course,” Umbridge said. “How many victims did you bite? How many died?”

“What?” Sirius turned to Remus. “Don’t answer that.”

“I have to report what happened,” Remus reminded him. “I only bit one person and she didn’t die.”

“Oh.” Umbridge’s smile faltered for a moment and she was clearly disappointed with his answer. She passed a form across the table and told him to fill it in. She then disappeared out of the cubicle, her wand pointed at Remus and her back to the entrance as she left.

“That horrible cow’s a Case Worker?” Sirius asked. “Come on, let’s fill this in, leave it on her desk, and get the hell out of here.”

Remus nodded his agreement and quickly filled in as much of the form as he could. His writing wasn’t as neat as it usually was, and Sirius could see that the further down the form he got, the more his hand was shaking. He wished he had one of Madam Pomfrey’s Calming Draughts with him because the effects of the one Remus had taken earlier seemed to be wearing off.

They left the cubicle as quickly as they could, but it seemed that Miss Umbridge had anticipated their move and was waiting for them with a couple of intimidating wizards, both of whom had their wands drawn.

“There he is!” Umbridge declared, pointing at Remus as they made their way towards the door. “Take him into custody.”

“Him?” the smaller of the two wizards asked. “You called us away from important work for a kid?”

“I’m not a kid,” Remus said as he approached the trio. “I’ve left the form on your desk,” he told Umbridge with a forced smile. “If that’s all, I’ll be flooing back to Hogwarts.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Umbridge told him. “You’re going into custody.”

One of the wizards gave a sigh and turned to Remus again. “If you’ll come with me, please,” he said.

“Um.” Remus turned to Sirius, not sure what to do for the best, and wishing that he hadn’t declined Dumbledore’s offer to come with them.

“Your friend can come, too,” the wizard said before turning to Umbridge. “We’ll take it from here.”

“Oh, thank you,” Umbridge simpered. “I feel so much safer knowing you boys are just down the corridor, waiting to take these dangerous creatures into custody.”

“They’re both werewolves?” the wizard asked. “I thought it was just the one?”

“I’m sure if you look into the history of the other one, you’ll find all sorts of dark practices,” Umbridge suggested, before lowering her voice to a loud whisper. “He’s got dark arts and perversions written all over him.”

“Looks like Orion Black’s son to me,” the second wizard commented.

Sirius nodded that he was correct.

“Come on boys,” the first wizard ordered, hurrying them out of the room and down another corridor.

“Am I being sent to a Dangerous Creatures’ Camp?” Remus asked nervously.

“I shouldn’t think so,” the wizard who had recognised Sirius replied.

“But Miss Umbridge said,” Remus began.

“Miss Umbridge is a bloody hysteric,” the other wizard interrupted. “Calls us in to capture nearly every werewolf on her records. I don’t know what loon made her a Case Worker; I just wish they’d transfer her somewhere else.”

“But what about last night?” Remus asked. “I bit someone.”

The wizard stopped and tugged at his beard. “First time, was it?”

Remus nodded.

“Okay, here’s the procedure. You’ve filed the report and the Register will be updated on the first of next month. Someone will be coming out to check your security before the next full moon. If it’s not adequate you’ll be collected and brought to the Ministry Containment Facility for your next transformation. Any resistance will result in us being sent to fetch you and you could find yourself sent to a Camp. If it looks like your own place is secure enough, we’ll leave you to carry on there.”

“But I bit someone,” Remus repeated, his voice cracking slightly.

“Biting someone doesn’t mean an automatic arrest,” the wizard told him. “Not unless the victim requests it, and we’ve not had any request through for you to be picked up.”

“But Charlie’s father was yelling for me to be arrested this morning,” Remus told him. “He was shouting and screaming at Professor McGonagall.”

“He’s got a nerve,” the wizard replied with a chuckle. “Charlie’s the one you bit?”

“Yeah. She was watching over me last night when the barrier came down during the earthquake. I got out and…”

“Is Charlie seventeen?”

“Eighteen,” Remus confirmed.

“Then it’s her decision and not her father’s as to whether to take it any further.”

“You mean if she says she doesn’t want me arrested, that’ll be the end of it?”

“It’ll be on your record, but that’s as far as it goes.”

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?” Sirius said, patting Remus on the shoulder encouragingly.

“Is it?” asked the other wizard. “It’s rules like that which prevented us from capturing monsters like that Greyback creature for years on end. Too many victims who got turned fearing they might be next and refusing to take things further.”

“You captured Greyback?” Remus asked.

“We were amongst the party,” he replied. “Took eight of us to get him in the end.”

“You think I should be locked up, don’t you?” Remus whispered.

“If you had a conscience, you’d think so, too,” the wizard replied coldly.

Remus and Sirius watched as the two wizards pointed the way to the exit and turned to leave.

“Don’t listen to them,” Sirius said quietly. “You were locked up last night; it wasn’t your fault that you got out. It could have happened to anyone.”

“But it didn’t happen to anyone,” Remus said as they stepped into the elevator. “It happened to me, didn’t it?” He slumped against the wall and took a long breath to try and calm himself down again.

“Charlie won’t want you locked up,” Sirius reminded him. “She can’t date you if you’re shut away in one of those camps.”

“We’re not dating any more,” Remus said. “We broke up yesterday.”

“What?”

“We broke up yesterday,” Remus repeated. “Just before the full moon.”

Sirius wasn’t sure what to say about that. He knew that he should be commiserating with Remus for being dumped, but inside he was too busy cheering. Thankfully, Remus didn’t appear to be expecting a response.

The elevator came to a stop, and as they stepped out Sirius spotted Romulus lingering nearby.

“Are you okay?” Romulus asked Remus as soon as he spotted them.

“Where’ve you been?” Sirius asked. “You just vanished in the middle of the night.”

“I’m sorry,” Romulus apologised. “It couldn’t be helped. Now, are you all right? What happened up there?”

“Saw my Case Worker and told her what happened,” Remus said with a shrug. “I didn’t like her much.”

Sirius snorted. “I didn’t like her at all. Prejudiced bitch.”

“Want me to go haunt her for a week or two?” Romulus suggested with a rather wicked grin.

“Better not,” Remus reluctantly replied. “She might have you bound somewhere if you do.”

“I’ve been by Saint Mungo’s,” Romulus told them as they walked over to one of the large fireplaces. “Charlie’s not going to take things further. She’s a stubborn little madam.”

“Is she okay?” Remus asked. Sirius could tell that the calming draught had almost completely worn off now, and his friend’s panic was becoming increasingly evident again. “She’s not too badly mauled or anything.”

Romulus shook his head. “No. She was threatening one of the Healers when I left. Something about knocking her block off with her bat, if only she had it with her. From the look on the Healer’s face, I’d say she was quite relieved that she didn’t.”

“Do you think they’ll let me in to see her?” Remus asked.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Romulus advised. “You won’t get anywhere near her with her father standing guard like a bulldog. The best thing that you can do is floo back home and get the basement fixed. I’ll help you.”

“I should tell Dumbledore what happened here,” Remus pointed out.

Romulus nodded his agreement. “Then the basement. It needs to be put back in order before the next full moon.”

“Before the inspectors from the Ministry come to check it out,” Sirius corrected as he took a handful of floo powder from the container for public use, and stepped into the fireplace.

Remus watched him disappear in the green flames and stepped in after him. He hoped that they could put things to rights quickly, and that he hadn’t passed his curse onto Charlene.

-o-xXx-o-

Christmas was bleak that year, and Remus spent most of the holidays studying at home, avoiding the rest of the school.

For a short time he had felt normal, but now everyone was looking at him in fear again, and he wanted nothing more than to hide away from the rest of the world.

James and Peter left him to it, but Sirius refused to leave him to wallow in his misery and crept out to Hogsmeade every day. He knew he would be in trouble if he were caught, because only Remus was allowed there for the holidays, but he hoped that the teachers would turn a blind eye to his sneaking out of the school grounds. Not that he was particularly concerned about getting caught; there was no way that he was going to let a little thing like the school rules stop him.

Even though he wished it hadn’t taken Charlene getting bitten to do it, Remus was grateful to have Sirius’s friendship getting back on track. He just wished that what he had to tell Sirius now wasn’t something that he knew would cause another argument.

“I’m not coming back to school after the holidays,” Remus finally announced on New Year’s Eve.

“What?” Sirius exclaimed. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve got N.E.W.T.s to sit in a matter of months; you can’t just leave.”

“I can leave any time I want,” Remus replied. “I’m seventeen, nearly eighteen in fact. It’s my decision to make.”

“You can’t just give up,” Sirius told him.

“You think I can concentrate on lessons when everyone is staring at me and whispering about me?”

“What do you care about that? Just ignore them.”

“Did you know they kicked me off the Quidditch team?” Remus asked. “Charlie still isn’t back and they booted me out.”

“James never mentioned that,” Sirius fumed. “He just stood there and let them do it?”

“He did stick up for me, until they threatened to kick him off, too.”

“Then he should have quit the team,” Sirius fumed.

“You know he can’t do that. He’s got scouts looking for him at the games this year; he’s already had an offer for one of the League teams. If he quits he’ll be throwing his career away.”

“And if you quit school, you’ll be doing the same thing,” Sirius pointed out. “Charlie wouldn’t want you to quit school because of her. What about when she comes back?”

“If she comes back.”

“She will. You heard what McGonagall said; it’s just until they know for sure whether she’s been infected. They’re sending her work home to her, so you know she’s planning on coming back.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Remus said with a sigh. “I’m not going back.”

“What does Romulus say about this?” Sirius asked, curious to know whether Remus’s brother would be supportive of such a stupid move on the part of his younger sibling.

“He doesn’t know, yet.”

“I think you’ll find that I do,” Romulus said from behind them. “And no, I don’t agree with your decision.”

“Then don’t agree with it,” Remus snapped. “You won’t change my mind.”

“Do you have any idea how much trouble people have gone to in order for you to attend Hogwarts?” Romulus asked, his voice just as harsh as Remus’s.

“Maybe they shouldn’t have done anything,” Remus replied. “If I hadn’t been allowed to go there, Charlie wouldn’t have been bitten.”

“You can’t just give up,” Sirius argued. “You need your N.E.W.T.s if you want a decent job.”

“I’m a werewolf,” Remus shouted. “Who’s going to hire me?”

“Plenty of people would love to hire you,” Sirius told him. “Is that what this is all about? You think that because you’re a werewolf, no one is going to give you a job anyway, so why bother trying?”

“I’m thinking of protecting the rest of the school, actually,” Remus replied.

“You can’t just quit!”

“I already have.”

“What?”

“I’ve already told the Headmaster I’m not coming back.”

“If you’re not coming back to school, why have you been studying all holidays?” Romulus asked, pointing to the pile of books and parchments on the floor.

Remus flushed and Sirius realised that his friend wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea of quitting school, no matter what he said to the contrary.

“Remus,” he said as he sat down on the sofa and gestured for Remus to join him. “If you don’t take your N.E.W.T.s, you won’t get a second chance at them. This is your whole life we’re talking about.”

“Lots of people don’t carry on at school after the O.W.L.s,” Remus pointed out. “Rom didn’t.”

Romulus shook his head. “Don’t bring my choice into this. You know that was entirely different.”

Sirius reached out and put his arm around Remus’s shoulders. “What’s this really all about?” he asked quietly.

“I put a student in danger,” Remus replied quietly. “It shouldn’t have happened, and I can’t risk it happening again.”

“The basement’s secure now,” Sirius said. “We’ve re-plastered the wall and re-etched the runes. We’ve reinforced them all and Dumbledore came here to check all the spells himself. There’s no way you’re getting out of there next month.”

“I think perhaps I should use one of the Ministry cages next month,” Remus whispered, and Sirius could feel him shaking in fear at the idea of going back to that facility. “It’ll be safer for everyone.”

“Not everyone,” Sirius reminded him. “It won’t be safer for you.”

“It’ll be safer for you,” Remus told him.

“Ah,” Romulus said with a thoughtful nod.

“I’ll be okay,” Sirius assured Remus with a grin. “My skin’s way too tough for you to get your teeth into it.”

Remus gave a small snort and rubbed at his nose. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want you here.”

“But-”

“Don’t you get it, yet?” Remus shouted, pulling away from Sirius and beginning to pace around the room. “I got out and immediately started to hunt you down. Doesn’t that scare you at all?”

“I handled it,” Sirius pointed out.

“I remember!” Remus suddenly screamed. “I remember tracking you and hunting you. I remember it.”

“It’s okay,” Sirius said, standing up and trying to calm Remus down.

“No, it’s not!” Remus yelled. “I remember hunting you, wanting to bite you, wanting to make you like me. Charlie just got in the way, but you… I remember…” Remus gave a small sob and sat down on the coffee table. “I remember.”

“It’s not you,” Sirius told him quietly, crouching down to look him in the eye as he spoke.

“You just don’t get it,” Remus told him again. “I remember wanting to bite you, wanting to make you a werewolf, too.”

“It’s okay. You know I’d never blame you if you did. It wouldn’t be your fault; you can’t help what Moony does on the full moon.”

“Bloody hell,” Remus muttered. “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“Spell what out?”

“I liked the idea of turning you,” Remus hissed. “Moony wants to make you like him, because a small part of me wants it, too.”

“Oh.”

“It’s horrible and selfish, and I know it’s wrong on so many levels, but I remember hunting you and liking the idea of you being like me.”

“You’re just remembering the full moon,” Sirius told him. “It’s not like you want to bite me now, is it?”

“Don’t I?” Remus replied.

Sirius, still on eye level with Remus, saw something flicker in the depths of the brown orbs and he turned to Romulus to gesture for him to leave. He wasn’t entirely surprised to see that he had already left and he turned back to Remus.

“You want to bite me now?” Sirius clarified.

Remus nodded mutely.

“Go ahead,” Sirius whispered. “Come on, bite me.”

“I’m trying to be serious here,” Remus snapped.

“So am I,” Sirius replied. “You can’t hurt me or turn me right now, and if it gets it out of your system then go ahead and do it. It’s not like you’ve not given me a few nips before.”

One moment Sirius was crouching down on the floor, one of his hands resting on Remus’s shoulder and the hand of the other pushing the brown hair back out of his friend’s eyes. The next moment he was on his back, Remus was on top of him and he was getting very turned on by the sensation of Remus’s mouth on his neck, sucking and nipping at the tender flesh. As he had just told him, it wasn’t that Remus hadn’t bitten him before; but in the past it had been quick nips in the heat of the moment, and not purposeful like this was. He gave a moan of desire as Remus increased the pressure. It had been so long.

“You like this?” Remus asked, his breath warm on the moist skin.

Sirius gave a small nod.

“But what if I drew blood?” Remus whispered. “Would you like it then? What if I bit you harder? Would it still make you hard?”

Then Remus’s mouth was clamped onto his neck again. This time it wasn’t the nipping and sucking from before. This time it was harder and he could feel the sharp sting of teeth. It was meant to hurt and it did.

“Remus, stop it,” Sirius hissed, and the werewolf pulled back immediately.

“Didn’t like that so much, did you?” Remus asked. “Not so great when it actually hurts, is it?”

Remus sat back up and looked down at him sadly. Sirius reached up to rub at the sore skin on his neck, and he wondered momentarily if he would see blood on his fingers when he pulled them away. There wasn’t any, and Sirius couldn’t suppress the sigh of relief.

“Do you still want me to bite you?” Remus asked. “I can stop today, but on a full moon there wouldn’t be any way to prevent me from sinking my teeth into your flesh. Now do you see why I can’t let you be here?”

“You need me here,” Sirius told him.

“And what if you’d been here the night of the quake?” Remus asked. “Don’t you get it? I bit someone and there’s a bloody good chance that she’s going to become a monster like I am.”

“You’re not a monster,” Sirius whispered, reaching up to caress Remus’s face.

“But I am,” Remus replied, equally quietly. “I’m a werewolf and if you’d been here that night, you could… you might… I can’t risk it.”

“Remus, I know you feel guilty about Charlie, but it was an accident. You can’t just shut me out because of what happened. I won’t let you.”

“You don’t have a choice,” Remus snapped. “I don’t want you here. I won’t be responsible for turning you into a monster like me. I won’t take that chance!”

Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but before he could say a word Remus’s mouth was covering his own, kissing him desperately and thoroughly.

Remus pulled back slightly and closed his eyes, breathing deeply to steady himself. He leaned his forehead against Sirius’s and sighed. “I won’t risk it,” he repeated.

“You’d be behind the barrier,” Sirius reminded him. “There won’t be any risk.”

“Except if I got out again…”

“We’d deal with that if and when it happened.”

“It’s not going to happen!” Remus clambered to his feet and began pacing again. “I won’t risk it. I won’t!”

Sirius stood up and grabbed at Remus’s arm. “Remus, you’re just worrying over nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Remus replied coldly. “I like what I just did to you… all of it. Which is why you have to leave, now. I can’t be around you any more.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do mean it!” Remus yelled. “Go back to Hogwarts and leave me alone. I don’t deserve to be around normal people.”

“Remus, please.”

“Just go!” Remus screamed.

Sirius didn’t want to leave, but it was clear that Remus wasn’t listening to him and needed to calm down before they could talk things over properly. “I’ll come by again tomorrow morning,” he said.

“Don’t bother,” Remus replied.

“You don’t mean that,” Sirius said. “I’ll be here right after breakfast.”

Sirius turned and stepped into the fireplace. He flooed back to Hogwarts, where he was determined to figure out a way to persuade Remus to return to the school for the new term.

Remus watched him leave and sank down onto the sofa, knowing that the fight wasn’t over.

“Eavesdropping again?” Remus said when Romulus appeared a moment later.

“I’ve told you before, when I can hear you yelling from two floors up, it’s hardly classed as eavesdropping,” Romulus replied. “He’s not going to give up, you know?”

“I know. Which means I need a whole new argument for when he comes back tomorrow.”

“Or you could do what you previously planned to do during these holidays,” Romulus said with a small smile. “You were going to tell Sirius how you feel about him.”

“I was going to think about it,” Remus corrected. “And speak to him if I decided I did want to be in a relationship with him.”

“Which you do.”

“No, I don’t,” Remus said.

“Liar.”

“It doesn’t matter any more,” Remus replied sadly. “I’m not going to risk hurting him.”

“You don’t think that maybe you’re hurting him anyway, by pushing him away.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Remus repeated. “I’m a werewolf and he’s a pureblood. It would have been better if we’d never even become friends.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do mean it, every bloody word. I’d never forgive myself if I bit him, too.”

“You can’t give him up if you love him. And you do love him, don’t you?”

Remus glared at his brother before he ran from the room.

Of course he loved Sirius, how could he not?

The wolf had known Sirius was the one he needed and loved for years. Remus thought back to the night of his escape. Hogsmeade village and all the residents had been right there, laid out before him, a veritable banquet, right on his doorstep, for the newly freed werewolf. But instead of chasing down the nearest villager, Moony had gone straight for Hogwarts, searching for Sirius.

Remus knew, instinctively, that Moony hadn’t wanted to kill Sirius. Just like the night they had faced each other in the forest, the wolf hadn’t wanted to tear Sirius’s throat out or tear him limb from limb. Moony wanted to turn him.

Remus sat down on his bed and forced himself to face up to the truth. The wolf wanted to turn Sirius, because deep down so did he.

The wolf wasn’t the monster here; he was, because only a monster would like the idea of turning his best friend into a werewolf so that he could be with him all the time. He wanted Sirius to understand what it was like for him, and he knew if he turned him, he would. He knew he’d never blame him and would never leave him.

Despite everything, Sirius loved him and would forgive him for anything. But he didn’t understand that the real monster here wasn’t Moony. The monster was Remus.

He looked across at his reflection in the mirror of the dresser. He didn’t look like a monster, at least not really. He looked like any other average teenage boy. Sure, he had a few scars, but so did everyone else who played Quidditch, it was a rough game and only the very best players came out entirely unscathed.

Then again, Greyback hadn’t looked that much like a monster either. Remus shivered and buried his face in his hands. He wasn’t going to turn into the same type of monster Greyback was; he was going to make sure of that.

Remus threw himself onto his bed and buried his face in his pillow. It was better for everyone if he stayed away from Hogwarts. As long as he stayed away, people would be safe… Sirius would be safe, and that was all that mattered.

Alone in his bedroom, Remus decided that he was done with being selfish, and he was going to start with doing what was best for Sirius. He was going to do whatever it took to keep him safe, even if it meant losing him forever.