Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

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Talking to the Moon
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It took all of a week before Remus began to try to talk Sirius into carrying on their relationship again at the next full moon.

Sirius would have taken him up on the offer only too eagerly, were it not for the fact that he knew that Remus was also trying to work things out with Charlene.

“It’s me or her,” Sirius told him. “I’m not going to be with you at her expense again, so don’t ask.”

“But she would know about you this time,” Remus pointed out. “It’s not like we’d be going behind her back.”

Sirius leaned back in his chair, balancing it on the back two legs. “And what does she think about that?”

“She’ll come round.”

Sirius shook his head. “No, Remus. She won’t come round. She wants the same as I do, and no amount of selfish whining on your part is going to change that.”

“I’m not whining,” Remus argued. “And I’m not selfish. I told you that I don’t mind if you see someone else as well as me. I’ve not hassled you about who you got off with in the summer, have I?”

“Thought you’d forgotten about that,” Sirius commented.

“You think I can forget the way I could smell another bloke all over you?” Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged. “Seems to me that you forget a lot of things when it suits you. You conveniently forgot about your insistence that you only wanted me around the full moon during the last week of the summer. You were bloody gagging for it all week.”

He waited for Remus to deny his accusation, but the werewolf said nothing.

“Charlene isn’t going to come round, and neither am I. You need to choose between us or find someone else to play these games with.”

“I don’t want anyone else.”

“But you still want both of us,” Sirius pointed out. “I’m sorry, Remus, but that’s not enough for me, not any more.”

Remus huffed and sulked, but got no sympathy from anyone who knew what had happened.

“Well, what did you expect?” Romulus asked impatiently after Remus had poured out his woes to him.

“I’d expect a bit of sympathy from my older brother,” Remus muttered.

“Sympathy?” Romulus scoffed. “Did you expect her to be happy when she found out you were cheating on her?”

“I thought maybe she’d understand about the wolf.”

“She does understand about the wolf. So does Sirius. So do I. In fact, the only one around here who doesn’t seem to understand about the wolf is you!”

“I am the wolf; of course I understand it,” Remus argued.

“No, you don’t,” Romulus replied, his voice rising. He took a deep breath, seemingly to calm himself, before continuing. “You remember the day after you came back from visiting Greyback?”

Remus nodded, wondering at the change of subject.

“You asked me if I thought you were cold and unfeeling, remember?”

“Greyback said that I was like him… like that.”

Romulus nodded. “At the time I told you no, but now I’m not so sure. The way you’re treating the two of them makes me wonder if perhaps Greyback was actually right.”

“I’m not like Greyback,” Remus whispered.

“But you’re going in that direction,” Romulus told him. “You need to choose between the two of them, because neither of them is going to put up with the way you’ve been treating them.”

Remus sighed. The problem was he didn’t know which of them he really wanted to be with.

He wanted to be normal, and by dating Charlene he could almost believe that he was. He liked her, maybe he might even grow to love her, even if there wasn’t that much of a spark in the relationship.

As for Sirius, he wanted him with a passion that sometimes frightened him. It was taking every ounce of his willpower not to climb into Sirius’s bed every single night. Only the thought of what everyone would say if they found out he fancied boys kept him from doing just that. The other boys on the Quidditch team had made it pretty clear that they didn’t want that sort hanging out in the locker room with them. Only James didn’t seem that bothered by that sort of thing – not that he ever seemed to come up for air with Lily these days anyway.

He wondered whether he could persuade Sirius to keep things a secret if he chose to be with him, but realistically he knew that it was doubtful. Sirius hadn’t exactly wanted his sexuality known to everyone, but he had been outed in a very public way, and Remus could still remember the bruises he had got that day.

By the night of the October full moon Remus was ready to throw himself at Sirius and to hell with the consequences.

Unfortunately, Sirius was just not co-operating with him.

“No,” he insisted, folding his arms and leaning back against the wall of the basement. “I told you, I’m sick of your only at the full moon deal, and since you don’t seem to have any self control, I guess I’ll have to have enough for both of us.”

“But you want this,” Remus pointed out. “I know you do. Hell, this close to the full moon, I can smell how much you want me.”

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. “Thanks for that image, mate,” he muttered. “Doesn’t make any difference, though. It won’t change anything, will it?”

Remus was about to tell him that he’d changed his mind, that he wanted Sirius, but the full moon was upon him and his power of speech was lost to him.

“That took a lot of guts,” Romulus said to Sirius as they sat down to wait out the night.

Sirius shrugged and pulled out his packet of cigarettes.

“It’ll be worse tomorrow morning,” Sirius said as he lit up.

“I was talking to Charlene this morning,” Romulus commented quietly.

Sirius turned to look at the ghost. “She still pissed off?” he asked.

Romulus shook his head. “Wouldn’t blame her if she was, but she seems to have calmed down.”

“Do you think she’s going to give him another chance?” Sirius asked.

“I think she’s going to make him stew for a bit first, but yes.”

“Damn.”

They talked a bit longer, until finally Sirius pulled out his homework, knowing that there could be no slacking off this final year, and no second chance at taking the exams if he screwed things up this time around.

The next morning Remus made it more than clear that he wanted Sirius, just like he always had on the mornings after the full moons.

Sirius did his best to keep himself at a distance, making sure that there was always at least one piece of furniture between them.

Finally, Sirius said the one thing that he knew would make Remus pause in his actions. “Romulus thinks that Charlene’s going to forgive you,” he said.

It worked like a charm, and stopped Remus in his tracks. “Oh.”

“So, who do you want?” Sirius asked. “Me or her?”

Remus didn’t answer right away, and Sirius took the opportunity to put more distance between them, gathering his things and heading to the living room fireplace.

He knew that he should really wait for Remus to make his decision, but the thought of being rejected, yet again, was at the forefront of his mind, and he bolted from the room.

-o-xXx-o-

By the time of the November full moon, Remus and Charlene were giving things another go, and Sirius was more miserable than he could ever remember being.

Their friendship was on the very brink of evaporating entirely and he had never felt more alone.

It didn’t help that Charlene was casting suspicious glances in his direction on a very regular basis, until it got to the point where he was spending most of his time doing his homework on his bed with the curtains drawn tightly closed.

He was also catching Remus looking at him with very obvious desire more often than he ever had. It was all Sirius could do not to give in, but he held firm to his resolve, despite the fact that every time he said no to Remus, their friendship floundered just that little bit more.

It helped his resolve that Charlene had threatened to hex him impotent if she thought Remus was cheating on her with him again. He asked Remus if he had been issued with the same threat, and found that he had.

Even so, Sirius wasn’t prepared for Charlene’s ultimatum during their Potions class on the morning of the full moon.

“No,” Sirius told her, before turning back to his cauldron.

“But if Remus is right and he wants you more at the time of the full moon, you being there will only make it worse.”

“It’s a load of rubbish,” Sirius told her. “We both know it.”

“But Remus uses it as an excuse to act on his impulses.”

“I won’t let anything happen, but I’m not staying away.”

Professor Slughorn chose this moment to walk between their tables, effectively cutting off their conversation for a few moments. Charlene wasn’t going to let it lie however, and turned back to Sirius’s table as soon as the Professor’s attention was directed elsewhere.

“You can’t be with him for every full moon ever,” she pointed out. “What about when you leave school?”

“We’ll sort that out when it happens,” Sirius replied. “Remus needs me there more than he needs you; I’m the one who tends his wounds after he changes back.”

“He didn’t look that badly injured to me when I saw him that morning in September,” Charlene pointed out, reminding Sirius yet again of what she had witnessed. “I can take care of him myself; we don’t need you there.”

“He’s worse when I’m not there,” Sirius told her. “You should have seen him after he was in the Ministry facility during the summer holidays after O.W.L.s. He was in Saint Mungo’s for five days, did you know that?”

Charlene shook her head.

“Remus needs me,” he told her again.

“And I need you to stay away,” Charlene retorted. “You owe me, Black!”

After that, Sirius ignored her for the rest of the lesson. She wasn’t letting up though, and continued to make her case all the way back to the Gryffindor common room.

It was only when Romulus saw them arguing and stepped in that a compromise was reached.

That night Sirius set up camp on one of the sofas next to the common room fireplace, a small packet of floo powder at the ready, and Romulus’s promise that he would come to tell him immediately if anything went wrong in the basement.

He had various books and assignments spread out around him, hoping that they would help to pass the time.

For the first two hours it was easy to forget that it was the night of the full moon, especially since he hadn’t been spending as much time with Remus in the last few weeks. At first it was easy to pretend that Remus was at Quidditch practice or in the library, but as the evening stretched on he could no longer avoid the truth. Gradually the noise of the common room died down as students made their way to bed, until finally, at around quarter past midnight, Sirius realised that he was on his own.

He gave up on studying around one o’clock, when he realised that he had read the same paragraph four times over and still hadn’t taken any of it in.

Turning to his healer’s kit, he set about sorting out the bottles, arranging them firstly by colour, then by size of bottle and then by name. He was trying to think of a fourth way of re-arranging the case when he heard the sound of Moony howling in the village.

Sirius had never realised that the werewolf could be heard all the way at Hogwarts, and supposed that normally the sounds of the students drowned out the mournful howls of the wolf. But with no one else around and the window open, it was easy for him to hear the cries.

Putting his case of potions on the floor, Sirius stood up and walked over to the open window. The cushioned window seat wasn’t as comfortable as the sofa, and it looked like someone had left their discarded bubble gum stuck to the wall. Sirius pulled out his wand and cleaned up the seat with a sigh of annoyance. Then he sat down and looked out at the night sky.

Considering the time of year, it wasn’t that cloudy and Sirius easily spotted the moon shining out from behind the clouds.

The wolf howled again and Sirius pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. He wouldn’t have believed it possible, but the waiting tonight was even more unbearable than when he was sitting in the basement.

A small part of him wanted to close the window shut, but he knew that if he did, he would no longer be able to hear Moony. All he had to do was reach up and pull the window off of the latch. He wouldn’t even need to stand up in order to shut out the sounds of the night.

Moony howled again and Sirius buried his face in his knees. He hadn’t howled this frequently in years, at least not when Sirius was watching over him. By this time of night Moony had played with Romulus for a while and had usually settled down for the remainder of the night, listening while Sirius talked to him.

Sirius had talked to Moony about anything and everything over the years. Sometimes schoolwork, sometimes ideas for pranks, and on one occasion he had relayed all the plays from the professional Quidditch match that Remus was missing due to it lasting into the night. He had listened in to a neighbour’s wireless via a handy little spell that Romulus didn’t strictly approve of, but had turned a blind eye to just that once. It wasn’t like Moony could understand what was being said, but it helped to pass the time.

One thing that Sirius hadn’t spoken to Moony about was his feelings for the stubborn werewolf. Somehow, he hadn’t liked to talk about them with Romulus hovering close by.

Now though, he was on his own, staring at the full moon, and listening to the sounds of Moony as he howled in his basement cage.

“Damn it, Remus, why’d you have to be so bloody stubborn,” he said as he looked up at the night sky. “If you’d just quit this obsession you have about being normal, you’d be so much happier… we’d be so much happier.”

He could feel the corner of his box of cigarettes digging into his hip and pulled it out of his pocket. He lit a cigarette in the vague hope that it would help him to relax enough for him to get some sleep. He knew he couldn’t spend the whole night listening to Moony’s howls, he would go mad if he did.

“I love you so much, Remus,” Sirius continue, the only witness to his confession the full moon overhead. “I just wish I knew what to say or do to make you love me back.”

“I think he does love you back,” Romulus said, causing Sirius to drop his cigarette and leap from his seat.

“What’s happened? Is he hurt?” Sirius asked as he quickly stepped on the fag end, before he set the tower on fire.

“He’s fine,” Romulus assured him, waving him back to his seat. He looked at the cigarette and shook his head. “McGonagall would have a fit if she knew you were smoking in here.”

“What she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her,” Sirius replied, whipping out his wand to remove the evidence.

He sat back down and looked at his unexpected visitor. “If Remus is okay, why are you here?” he asked curiously.

“Checking on you,” Romulus replied with a shrug. “I figured you were probably still up and thought I’d come and tell you to go get some sleep.”

“But what if Remus needs me?” Sirius argued, not moving from his seat. “I have to be here. I have to be ready.”

“He’ll be fine,” Romulus promised. “Maybe a bit more bruised than usual, but nothing too bad. Nothing as bad as in the summer before last, thank goodness.”

“So, he really doesn’t need me,” Sirius said with a sigh. Even though he hated the idea of Remus being hurt during the full moons, a small, selfish part of him had thought that maybe if tonight had been bad for Remus, the stubborn werewolf and his equally stubborn girlfriend might agree that things could go back to normal in December.

Romulus sat down on the other side of the window seat. “I didn’t say that,” he said as he looked out the window.

Moony chose that moment to let out another piercing howl.

“I didn’t realise he could be heard this far away,” Romulus commented. “I hope he’s not keeping the whole village awake.”

“They’ve probably put up charms to keep the noise out,” Sirius pointed out.

Romulus nodded. “It’s true you know,” he said. “At least I think so. That he loves you, I mean. And he definitely needs you.”

“Doesn’t seem like it to me,” Sirius muttered.

“I know. He’s a bloody stubborn little git.”

“Language,” Sirius teased.

Romulus snorted. They both knew that Sirius was hardly one to talk about bad language, but his teasing had helped to relieve the tension in the room.

“I’ve been talking to Dumbledore about the bond between the human host and the werewolf,” Romulus said.

“And?”

“And the older Remus gets, the more blurred the line between the two is when it comes to emotions.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Remus believes that it’s the wolf that wants you, because around the full moon he can’t seem to stop himself from acting on his emotions. The rest of the month he can hold back and deny his feelings, but not around the full moon. But the reason he can’t control himself around the full moon is because the wolf and the moon release his inhibitions.”

Sirius frowned. “It is?”

Romulus nodded. “I just wish that Remus would accept it. He’d be so much happier if he would.”

“He’d rather be normal with Charlie,” Sirius muttered.

“And make the pair of them miserable in the process,” Romulus replied. “He needs to accept the wolf is a part of him and not a separate entity, preferably before he ruins all three of your lives.”

Sirius turned to look out at the moonlit grounds again. “I just wish I knew whether he’ll eventually come round, or whether I’m just wasting my time.”

“I’ve told you before, no one has all the answers and until Remus can face what he is… and accept what he is… until then, I don’t see much of a future for the two of you.”

“That makes two of us,” Sirius replied. “Except I don’t see any future for us. Charlie won’t want me hanging around now they’re making a go of things. I know she blames me for what happened.”

Moony howled again.

“It wasn’t all your fault,” Romulus told him. “I’m not saying you’re blameless, because we both know that’d be a lie, but Remus is equally to blame.”

“I don’t think he even feels guilty about what we did,” Sirius speculated. “Not when we were doing it, or after we got caught. He just uses the wolf to excuse his behaviour. A part of me wishes I saw things his way, then I wouldn’t feel so bad about the whole mess.”

Romulus sighed and shook his head. “I wish I knew what to tell you, but I don’t think anything would help. Being stubborn kind of runs in our family, and Remus seems to have it in spades.”

“Sometimes I just want to shake him and shout at him until he admits he has feelings for me,” Sirius whispered. “Other times I don’t think he has and I want to shake him anyway, just because.”

“I promise you, he has got feelings for you, stronger than he’s ever admitted,” Romulus told him.

“What makes you so sure? Besides what Dumbledore says about the wolf, since that’s only speculation anyway.”

“Lots of things,” Romulus replied with a shrug. “He’s miserable when you’re not together, the wolf is howling for you right now because he misses you so much. He’s having nightmares again, too.”

“He is?” Sirius asked, surprised that he hadn’t realised that himself.

“He’s been casting a silencing charm on himself before going to sleep for a few weeks now.”

“You do know it’s kind of creepy to be hanging around the dorm at night when the rest of us are asleep?”

“I don’t pop in very often,” Romulus told him. “Just when Remus needs me, and these days he seems to need me a bit more than usual.”

“Because he doesn’t have me?” Sirius guessed.

Romulus nodded.

“There’s not much I can do about his nightmares,” Sirius pointed out. “You know what’ll happen if I climb into bed with him. I won’t be able to keep him at a distance if I share a bed with him again. Not for long anyway.”

“I know. I just thought you should know.”

“Maybe I could whip up a potion for him,” Sirius suggested. “I think I’ve got all the ingredients for a Dreamless Sleep Potion in my supply.”

“It’s up to you,” Romulus said. “I think Remus would be grateful for it though. I don’t think he’s slept through the night for over two weeks.”

Sirius frowned as he continued to look out of the window. “James wouldn’t mind if I borrowed his cloak. I could get started on the potion right now.”

Sirius’s mind was made up and he hurried up the stairs to fetch the invisibility cloak and his potions kit.

“You don’t need those,” Romulus said as Sirius picked up his floo powder and healer things as well.

“But what if there’s a problem and I have to get to Remus?”

Romulus shook his head. “There’s not going to be a problem. I’d tell you to go and get some sleep, but we both know you’d just lay awake all night. Go make a start on the potion and stop worrying so much.”

Sirius looked doubtful, but he crept out of the common room, his mind at least having something to occupy itself for the remaining hours until sunrise.

-o-xXx-o-

The next night Sirius was awake for a long time, listening out for any sound from Remus.

He was finally drifting off to sleep when the sound of restless movements pulled him back to full wakefulness. He turned to face Remus’s bed and saw that Romulus was right, Remus was having nightmares again. The last time he had been having regular nightmares was when he had been hiding out in the school back in third year; Sirius cursed himself for not realising they had returned.

Sirius watched indecisively for a few minutes, until eventually he couldn’t stand it any more and slipped out of his own bed and over to Remus’s. He saw Romulus watching him from his favourite spot in one of the high windows and signalled for him to remain quiet.

Romulus nodded back at him, and Sirius climbed into Remus’s bed as softly as he could.

Remus was thrashing about and didn’t notice Sirius’s arrival, but Sirius knew after a few moments that subconsciously Remus knew he was there. There was no other explanation for the way that Remus calmed down and curled into him, just as he had always done.

“It’s okay,” Sirius whispered. “I’m here now. Sleep easy.”

Remus hugged him close, and that was how they were when Remus woke the next morning.

He looked down at the sleeping Sirius for several minutes, wondering for a moment what had happened the night before, and whether he had been drinking.

“Sirius?” he whispered, but before the other boy could wake, Romulus shushed him.

“Let him sleep,” he told him. “He’s not slept for a couple of nights now.”

Remus looked at him questioningly.

“Just let him sleep,” Romulus repeated.

Remus nodded and eased his way out of the bed, gesturing for Romulus to follow him to the bathroom.

“Care to explain?” Remus asked. “He’s barely spoken to me in ages, but suddenly climbs back into my bed again.”

“You were having a nightmare,” Romulus replied with a shrug. “Sirius calmed you down like he always used to.”

Remus sat down on one of the benches and put his head in his hands. “Why can’t I stop wanting him?” he whispered. “It’s been over two months and I still want him.”

“You know why,” Romulus replied softly. “You love him.”

Remus shook his head vehemently. “You don’t know that. Just because I fancy him, it doesn’t mean I love him.”

“No,” Romulus agreed. “It’s nice to know that you realise that love and lust aren’t the same thing, but you don’t just fancy him, do you?”

“I don’t know,” Remus whispered. “I can’t stop thinking about him and wanting him, but what does a monster know about love?”

“You’re not a monster,” Romulus told him firmly. “A selfish little git, who wants some sense shaken into him, but not a monster.”

“The Ministry of Magic would disagree with you.”

“Sirius wouldn’t.”

Remus scowled. “It doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong, does it? I don’t know what these feelings I have are; I only know that I can’t stop thinking about him and want to be with him all the time. Is that what love’s like?”

Romulus shrugged. “You’re the only one who knows what it is that you feel for him.”

“I know. I just wish I understood what it is I’m feeling. I don’t want to hurt him any more. If I do, I think I’ll lose him forever… even as a friend. I need time.”

“You do know that Sirius isn’t going to wait forever?”

“I’m not asking him to.”

“What about Charlene?” Romulus asked. “Does she know how you still feel about Sirius?”

Remus felt his face flushing as he recalled the previous evening, and he ducked his head.

“What happened?” Romulus asked. “Or should I ask what else happened?”

Remus mumbled his reply under his breath, prompting Romulus to question him again.

“I called her Sirius by accident,” Remus finally mumbled.

Romulus looked torn between laughter and a more appropriate reaction.

“It’s not funny,” Remus muttered. “I can’t stop thinking about him, even when I’m making out with my girlfriend.”

“What did she say when you called her Sirius?”

“She pushed me off the sofa and stormed off up to the girls’ dorm.”

“Well, at least she didn’t grab the poker and attack you with it,” Romulus teased.

Remus answered that with a glare.

“If Charlene decided right now that she’d had enough of you being a complete git, would you really be that bothered?”

Remus shook his head. “I want to be really upset about it, I really do, but I…”

“Don’t love her,” Romulus finished for him.

“That doesn’t mean I love Sirius,” Remus pointed out.

“Hmm.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“And what if Sirius said he’d had enough of you being a git and ended your friendship and any hope of anything else? What then?”

“He wouldn’t do that.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Romulus replied. “But hypothetically, what if he did? What if you knew you’d never see him or speak to him again?”

“I’d hate it,” Remus whispered. “It’d be like a part of me is missing.”

“And doesn’t that tell you anything?”

“You think Sirius will end our friendship, don’t you?”

“It seems to me that between the two of you, you’ve nearly destroyed it already.”

“I don’t want to lose him.”

“At this point, only you can stop that happening. It’s just a question of what are you going to do now?”

“It’s Charlie’s birthday next month,” Remus said. “Lily asked me to help organise a surprise party for her.”

“Please tell me you aren’t going to dump her on her birthday?” Romulus begged.

Remus shook his head. “Her birthday’s two days before the next full moon. I’ll talk to her at home. That way if she makes a scene no one will be around to hear it.”

“And Sirius? What are you going to do about your feelings for him?”

“I need some time,” Remus said. “Even if I end things with her today, I can’t just… I need some time.”

“Okay,” Romulus replied with a nod. “Just don’t leave it too long, or you may find it’s too late.”

“I think maybe I’ll speak to him during the Christmas holidays,” Remus suggested. “It’ll give me time to think about things; time to figure out what it is I feel for him.”

“You’ll make the right decision,” Romulus told him. “I know you will.”

“Then why do I feel so sick?” asked Remus, in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

“Because you’re scared,” Romulus replied.

“You won’t say anything to Sirius, will you?”

Romulus shook his head again. “Of course not. I wouldn’t want to give him false hopes, would I?”

“He might not even want me any more.”

“Would you blame him?”

Remus knew that he couldn’t. “He thinks I’m a selfish git.”

“You are,” Romulus replied with a small smile. “But from what I’ve seen, Sirius can be equally selfish when it comes to you.”

“I guess.”

Romulus sighed loudly. “Remus, do you think you’ve been selfish?”

“What?”

“Do you think you’ve been selfish?” Romulus repeated. “I’ve told you that you are, so has Sirius and Charlie, but do you think so?”

Remus looked down at his tatty slippers for a long time. Eventually he gave a small nod and looked up.

“Now, what are you going to do about it?”

“Stop being a git?” Remus suggested.

“Obviously,” Romulus replied. “But how are you going to go about that?”

“I’m going to stop asking Sirius to be with me until I’ve broken up with Charlie.”

“And?”

“I’m going to break up with Charlie after her birthday’s out of the way.”

“And?”

“Er…”

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake,” Romulus muttered. “Maybe an apology or two would be in order? You used to apologise for everything, even things that weren’t your fault, but somewhere along the way you stopped doing that, and in the process you stopped apologising when it was actually warranted.”

“I’ll apologise to both of them,” Remus promised. “I really will.”

“Good.”

“And Rom?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the neck for you, too.”

Romulus chucked and shook his head. “Oh, Rem. What am I going to do with you?”

Remus smiled at the use of his nickname. It seemed that it had been a while since Romulus had used it, and he hadn’t even realised how much he had missed it.

-o-xXx-o-

By the night of the full moon, Remus was sure that breaking up with Charlene was the right thing to do. He had been the life and soul of her birthday party two days before, hoping that she wouldn’t pick up on the underlying current of discontent that he was feeling. However, it seemed that he hadn’t been as good at covering up his feelings as he had originally thought.

“You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” Charlene asked with a resigned sigh.

“How can you tell?” Remus countered. “I’ve not said anything yet.”

“You’ve got that look on your face.”

“What look?”

“The look that says you’ve got bad news.”

“Oh.”

“I guess I’ve known for a while that this was never going to work out. Ever since I saw you with Sirius.”

“So, why did you agree to give me another chance?” Remus asked curiously.

“Because I like you, stupid,” Charlene muttered. She sighed again and looked at the fireplace they had stepped through a short while before. “I guess I should be heading back and sending Sirius through, right?”

Remus shook his head. “Sirius is in detention. He got caught brewing away in one of the potions labs after curfew. Filch will be keep him busy for ages.”

“Won’t he be coming here later?”

“No. I haven’t told him that we’re… you know… I’m not expecting him tonight.”

“Still… I shouldn’t be here.”

“You can stay if you want,” Remus told her. “We’re still friends, aren’t we?”

“You want us to be?”

Remus nodded.

Charlene gave a small smile as she sat down on the sofa. “I guess it’ll be something to tell my grandchildren… you know… how the first bloke I dated left me for a guy. I’m sure they’ll find it amusing. I guess everyone will, won’t they?”

“You think people are going to laugh at you,” Remus guessed and Charlene gave a small nod in response. “Sirius and I… Whatever happens between us, we’ll be keeping it low-key. I’m barely ready to admit how I feel about him; I don’t think I can deal with all the stares and jeering as well.”

“I’d say thanks, but it sounds like you’re only thinking of yourself,” Charlene commented with a rueful smile.

Remus sat down beside her and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “I’m a right selfish bastard, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” Charlene replied immediately, although there wasn’t any malice in her voice. “Poor Sirius.”

Remus gave a reluctant smile. “I should be getting down to the basement.”

“I’ll wait until you’ve transformed and then I’ll come down, too.”

Remus understood what she was saying and nodded his thanks. Then he made his way down the stairs, ready to face the full moon.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius didn’t think he would ever be able to sleep through the night of a full moon again. It therefore came as something of a surprise when he was woken from his sleep by a loud rumbling sound that shook the room.

“What the hell?” Peter shouted, having been woken by the same sensation as Sirius.

“Earthquake!” yelled James, just as the room stopped shaking.

“We’re in Scotland, not California,” Sirius muttered as the sounds of other students moving about on the floor above them seeped through to the dormitory.

“Guess no one told the Earth that,” James replied as he lit a lamp and checked the room for damage.

Sirius looked at his nightstand and saw that a couple of potion vials had fallen, but were thankfully unbroken. Peter meanwhile was setting the photos of his family to rights, as was James.

“I’d better go check the younger boys,” Sirius said as he climbed out of bed. James and Peter nodded in agreement and he left the dormitory and descended the stairs.

He checked one room and then another, urging the students that had woken – all but the very heaviest of sleepers – back to bed.

He was just exiting the second year boys’ dormitory when Professor McGonagall rounded the corner. “Is everything well?” she asked, pointing to the door.

“They’re back in bed, but I doubt they’re trying to get back to sleep just yet,” Sirius replied.

“I’m not surprised,” McGonagall said. “As long as no one’s hurt, I guess there’s no harm in letting them talk a while longer. Have you checked the rest of the boys?”

“I’ve not looked in on the older students yet. I thought I’d check the youngest first.”

“Very wise. You carry on and I’ll check on the girls. If there are any problems come and find me immediately.”

“But the staircase to the girls’ rooms is inaccessible.”

McGonagall smiled briefly. “I’ll remove the spell for tonight only. As a prefect, I’m trusting you not to say a word or to abuse the trust I’m placing in you by sneaking up to visit one of the girls.”

“I won’t,” Sirius promised. It wasn’t like any of the girls held any interest for him anyway. With that thought, he wondered how Remus was doing and whether Moony had been as startled by the moving of the Earth as everyone else. He knew that animals could sense things like this before they happened and he wondered if the werewolf could, too.

Sirius finished checking on the rest of the boys and returned to the seventh year dormitory.

He pushed his way through the door and saw that James and Peter were not only still awake, but had been joined by Romulus Lupin.

“Sirius!” James exclaimed the moment he walked into the room. “Get your wand, take the cloak and go with Romulus.”

“What’s going on?” Sirius asked as James thrust his invisibility cloak into Sirius’s hands.

“Moony’s escaped,” Romulus explained. “Get your healer’s kit, too. You might need it.”

“What happened?” Sirius asked, his feet still rooted to the spot.

“Part of the plaster on the basement wall came down with the earthquake. It was the part the runes were etched into; it disrupted the spells that hold the barrier up and was enough for Moony to get out. He’s escaped into the forest, but he’s injured.”

“What about Charlie?” Sirius asked.

“Madam Pomfrey’s on her way to her already.”

“What?”

“Moony attacked her. She’s conscious, but she’s been bitten. But I need you to come with me and find him before he makes his way here.”

“How do you know he’ll be coming here?”

“Because he’s trying to find you!” Romulus told him. “Now, come on, and don’t forget your wand. You’ll need to stun him as soon as you see him.”

“I can’t stun Remus.”

“You have to. Until the sun rises he isn’t Remus; he’s Moony and he’ll attack anyone who comes near him. You have to stun him before he hurts anyone else. It’s the only way to help him.”

Sirius still wasn’t sure, but he hurriedly dressed, grabbed his wand and under the cloak of invisibility he slipped from the dormitory.

In the chaos of the aftermath of what had been a very minor earthquake, but which had naturally panicked the school, Sirius found it easy to slip out of the castle. He ran towards the Forbidden Forest, where Romulus was waiting at the edge of the trees. He pulled the cloak off, safe in the knowledge that the teachers couldn’t see him now, and hid it in the hollow of a nearby tree.

“This way,” the ghost called as Sirius slipped on the damp leaves and belatedly wished he’d thought to grab a broom.

“How can you tell which way?” Sirius shouted.

“I just can,” Romulus replied. Sirius muttered something uncomplimentary about evasive ghosts, but quickened his pace as best he could anyway.

He heard Moony before he saw him. The low-pitched growl was coming from the trees ahead of him and he raised his wand in readiness for the imminent attack.

As the werewolf ran towards him, Sirius wondered briefly how it was that the creature always seemed so much larger when seen out in the open, than when cooped up in the basement. He would have thought it should have been the other way around.

“S-stupefy!” he yelled as he pointed his wand at the werewolf. The spell found its target, but wasn’t strong enough to do more than cause the animal to flinch.

“Again!” Romulus ordered, his voice drawing the werewolf away from Sirius and giving him the crucial seconds he needed to recover himself and try again.

“Stupefy!” Sirius cried. The second attempt was stronger and caught the werewolf mid leap, sending Moony down to the ground.

“Again,” Romulus said.

“No.” Sirius shook his head. “He’s down now.”

“He’s still conscious,” Romulus argued. “He’ll recover in a few moments. You need to knock him out.”

Sirius sighed, but knew it was pointless to argue. “Stupefy!” he called for a third time and the werewolf finally closed its eyes.

Sirius approached the werewolf cautiously, even though Romulus had confirmed that he was out cold. He knelt on the grass and reached out a tentative hand to Moony.

“Doesn’t seem that dangerous, does he?” Sirius whispered as he stroked the brown fur gently.

“Some of the most deadly creatures on this Earth, don’t appear to be,” Romulus replied. “Just look at humans. No sharp teeth or claws, not that strong compared to other beasts, but still able to conquer so many others.”

Sirius didn’t know what to say in answer to that, so he returned to the problem at hand, that being Moony.

“Should we try to get him back to Hogsmeade?” he suggested.

“You won’t be able to lift him,” Romulus replied with a small chuckle. “I swear that all the chocolate and sweets Remus eats transfers straight to Moony instead of him. It’s the only explanation I can think of for why he’s so skinny, yet the wolf so big.”

“So, we’re just waiting for morning then?”

Romulus nodded and sat down at the other side of the unconscious werewolf. Sirius continued to stroke Moony distractedly.

“You love him, even when he’s the wolf, don’t you?” Romulus asked, though it was clear he already knew the answer to the question.

“How could I not?” Sirius replied simply.

Sirius had kept longer night vigils during the years he had known Remus, but this one, out in the open forest, seemed to last longer than any of the others and he wished that he could see the eastern horizon through the thickness of the trees.

Finally, the dawn arrived, and Remus was returned to him once more. Sirius shrugged out of his outer robes and wrapped them carefully around Remus, hoping he didn’t accidentally cause him any more discomfort.

“Where am I?” Remus murmured as he blinked owlishly up at Sirius. “What are you doing here?”

“We’re in the forest,” Sirius explained. “And I’m here because you decided to get a bit too much exercise last night.”

Remus tried to flex is wrist and winced in pain.

“Is it broken?” Sirius asked.

Remus shrugged. “I don’t know, but it hurts like hell.”

“You want me to try to fix it? I’ve not had to heal any breaks before.”

Remus gave Sirius a dubious look and tested his wrist a few more times. “I think it’s just sprained.”

“Are you sure?” He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the wrist.

Remus sat up and edged away from him slightly, making sure that his wrist was well out of reach of Sirius’s wand. “What happened?”

“There was an earthquake,” Sirius explained, putting his wand away again. “Not a huge one, but according to Romulus it was bad enough to bring down some of the crumbling plaster on one of the basement walls. It was one of the parts where the runes for the barrier spell were etched.”

“I escaped?” Remus whispered in horror.

“Yeah,” Sirius replied as he helped Remus to his feet. He was shaking slightly, but, apart from his wrist, his injuries at least appeared to be no worse than usual. “Let’s get you back to Hogwarts, it’s nearer than your place.”

Remus nodded mutely, his face screwed up in concentration.

“What is it?” Sirius asked.

“I can taste blood,” Remus whispered fearfully.

“Let’s just get you back to school,” Sirius advised.

“No!” Remus tugged away from Sirius’s grip and glared at him. “What happened? Why can I taste blood? It’s not mine, I can tell it’s not! Why can I taste someone else’s blood?” Remus was practically shouting by this point and Sirius cringed in the face of the anger his friend was displaying.

“We’ll talk later,” Sirius said as he tried to spur Remus into moving again.

“No!” Remus yelled. “Is it yours? Is it your blood I can taste in my mouth? Tell me! Sirius, please, I have to know! Did I attack you? Did I?”

“No,” Sirius replied. “It’s not my blood.”

“Promise?”

Sirius sighed. “I promise, now come on.”

“Then who?” Remus whispered before he finally remembered who had been watching over him the previous night. “Charlie!”

With the realisation of what must have happened, Remus ran, stumbling and haltingly, through the trees. Despite the exhaustion he was sure Remus must be feeling, Sirius could barely keep up with the other young man as they hurried back to the castle.