Memoirs of a Serpent's Son

Memoirs of a Serpent’s Son

--Age 17—part 24

December 23

There is something to be said for attempting to be the ‘better man’ and maintaining civility even around those you hate most.

It’s torture.

Pure, real and incessant torture. You can’t fight this kind of torture because it deals only in mental and emotional anguish and touches nothing of the physical realm… at least not while you are indeed trying to maintain civility.

IT JUST WON’T END.

I did as Lupin suggested… much against my own will. I apologized to the stupid Weasel-skank. She huffed and stuck up her nose and said absolutely nothing in return.

Alright, perhaps it wasn’t quite so exaggerated but she didn’t actually reply and she was rather the snob about the whole ordeal.

Let me tell you, I did NOT feel better afterwards. I wanted to wring her neck and set her bloody red hair on fire to show her what the meaning of ‘flaming red’ really is.

But I restrained myself and the only positive outcome of that was that Harry seemed to feel better. Lupin seemed pleased and Granger and the rest of the Weasel gang also seemed to take it well.

Only the little slut didn’t.

Figures.

The Weasels wouldn’t talk to me anyway, not that I care at all. Granger doesn’t talk to me much either but she isn’t opposed to sitting next to me at the table if all the other chairs are taken. The little bint will actually leave the room if there is nowhere for her to sit. Either that or demand that I get up and leave.

I don’t take orders. NOT FROM THAT.

The problem here becomes that she is CONSTANTLY attached to Harry. She will not leave us alone.

I’ve tried to leave when she is around but Harry requested that I try to stay. He told me they would never accept me if they never saw who I really was. I can’t keep running away, he said…

Well fine.

So I continue to stick it out.

We were sitting in the library today, discussing things that have been happening. The She-Weasel just HAD to be apart of it and she just HAD to bring up the attack on Hogwarts and Hogsmeade.

“Pity that no one could have warned anyone about that,” she said as though she didn’t really care at all. Her voice was bored. “I mean I’m sure a Death-Eater would have known about something like that. Or someone whose family was no doubt very involved.” She looked directly at me.

Not very subtle is she?

“Ginny,” Harry began. I tensed as he spoke her name. “No one could have foreseen that. Remus was among the werewolves and he couldn’t even get the message to us or to the school. You can’t blame this on Malfoy.”

She smiled in a very false way and waltzed over to Harry to seat herself at his feet. Then she leaned back and rested her head on his knee.

SHE WAS TOUCHING HIM!

She was putting her DIRTY HANDS all over HIS LEGS!

THOSE LEGS BELONG TO ME!!

I clenched my jaw and cracked my knuckles beside me as I tried not to stare.

“Who said anything about Malfoy?” she remarked innocently. “I know he couldn’t have done anything.” The comment was made to suggest that I can’t do anything at all. My anger grew with every word. “In any case, it’s a good thing we still have most of the D.A. members at school so that we could help the teachers a bit. I mean, except Cho, I suppose. She picked a terrible weekend to visit her friends.”

I flared my nostrils and tried to stop shaking. I could feel Granger’s eyes on me and the discomfort that was coming from her and Harry. Weasel wasn’t really aware, I imagine, as it’s only his sister.

“Don’t speak so casually of the victims,” I hissed angrily. “You make it sound as though it’s her own fault she got her soul sucked out.”

Harry shifted uncomfortably under the She-Weasel’s weight. She turned to me with a bored look in his eyes.

“You’re just testy because your precious girlfriend was killed in the brawl,” she shot contemptuously. Before I could even answer someone else spoke up.

“Ginny!” Granger’s voice scolded. “That was uncalled for. Malfoy is right, everyone has suffered from that attack and none of the victims should be regarded disrespectfully.”

“Oh please,” she scoffed as my anger mounted higher. I could see Harry clenching his jaw as well though he was staring at Weasel and not the girl at his feet. “You can’t honestly believe that some of the people who die don’t deserve it. Parkinson was horrible.”

My fingers longed to grab my wand and hex her into oblivion. I don’t care what the penalty would have been I would have done it.

“She didn’t deserve death!” I spat, getting to my feet. “She wasn’t a Death-Eater and neither was anyone in her family. She was just a Slytherin. But apparently, by your standards, being a Slytherin is enough to condemn someone. If you think that way, you would have made a good Death-Eater.”

I walked angrily past her. I wasn’t going to stick around and hear her bash me, family and the dead all night long until she got tired and demanded that Harry carry her to her room. I wasn’t going to sit there and take it anymore. If she was going to stay in the house, I was going to stay away from her and anyone she was around for the rest of her visit.

Before I got out though, she had to add something.

“Well you would know best, wouldn’t you?” she said coldly. I stopped dead.

“Ginny, that’s enough,” Harry finally piped in. “He’s not a Death-Eater. He never was.”

“You don’t need to defend him, Harry,” she snapped back. “He doesn’t deserve it.”

“He’s done a lot for us all and the Order,” Harry continued. I could tell he was not happy but he controlled himself well. Better than I have ever seen him.

“I don’t care what he’s done,” the She-Weasel scoffed. “He is the reason that Dumbledore’s dead. He’s the reason Bill was attacked by Greyback. His face is ruined and he might have become a werewolf! Malfoy doesn’t deserve a second chance.”

I didn’t wait to hear more. I left. I left and I went back to my room and I called Kreacher.

“Yes, Young Master, what can Kreacher do for you?” the little elf asked, bowing deeply and attempting to kiss my feet.

“Bring me my meals for the rest of the day,” I ordered. “And see to it that no one, NO ONE bothers me. I don’t want anyone to come into my room today.”

He nodded and left with a pop and I collapsed onto my bed.

There is NO WAY that I am EVER going to get along with that! HOW could Harry have ever felt the urge to be with her??

She’s worse than I AM.

How DARE she claim that Pansy deserved to die?? She doesn’t have any right to decide those kinds of things.

AND WORSE.

It wasn’t MY fault that Greyback showed up and attacked her brother. It’s not MY fault that his perfect face isn’t right anymore. I DIDN’T ASK FOR GREYBACK. I didn’t know he was coming!

And I’m sorry but if I had to decide between saving my parents’ lives along with my own, or keeping her brother’s face in perfect condition, I WOULDN”T RETHINK MY ACTIONS.

There are worse things than being a werewolf, anyway. Look at Lupin.

I just…

I DON’T DESERVE THIS! It has taken me forever to come to terms with the fact that Dumbledore’s death is in large part my fault and I have done everything I can to pay back my debts.

I have offered everything I have, literally, as an offering to try and absolve myself. I have made sacrifice after sacrifice in attempts to prove to everyone else, but mostly myself, that I am not just the son of a Death-Eater… that I’m not simply a traitor and a coward.

That I can be the hero too…

And now, more than ever, I want to kill her. I actually want to take her life.

She is going to turn me into what I hate and what I’ve promised I will never become and I almost don’t care.

Almost.

*******

December 25 –Christmas

I never would have imagined that Christmas can feel this terrible, but I suppose that after last year I should have known that things wouldn’t improve for me.

I woke up early to the sound of Harry banging on my door. I went groggily over to open it, wondering why he didn’t just open it himself.

“Why’d you lock the door??” he asked confused. I blinked the sleep from my eyes.

“I didn’t,” I told him.

“Well it wouldn’t let me open it,” he continued, rather unimpressed.

Ah… Kreacher… apparently he took my orders further than I imagined.

“Er, nevermind… what is it?” I asked stretching. I was mildly glad to see him alone, but I knew that the She-Weasel couldn’t be far behind. He smiled at me, confused.

“It’s Christmas,” he explained mildly amused. “Come down for breakfast and presents.”

He didn’t wait for my response. He just took my hand and dragged me out of the room and downstairs. The sitting room suddenly had a lovely little tree covered in welcoming decorations that clashed terribly with the rest of the house and its gloomy décor.

Beneath it were piles of gifts wrapped in colourful paper and sparkly ribbons. Harry let my hand go and walked up to a pile that was apparently his alone. Each of the Weasels were sitting at a pile of gifts as well and Granger was carefully unwrapping the packages that sat at her feet.

There were no gifts for me, but then again, why would there be?

I stood off to the corner and sadly watched Harry open his presents. He received hand-knitted sweaters and sweets and some unidentifiable products from Weasleys Wizard Wheezes (I recognized the logo) and several other assorted things.

Once they were all done and happily thanking one another for whatever it is they received, a shrill voice beckoned us all in for breakfast. The She-Weasel passed by and gave me a smug look as she realized that I had received nothing.

I neither said nor did anything. Perhaps my spirits are broken by now. I wouldn’t be surprised.

I sat down in the corner of the room, between Harry and Granger as Mrs. Weasley served breakfast. It was so elaborate I would have thought it was more of a dinner than a morning meal.

And it was fantastic.

Once we were all done eating, Granger, the She-Weasel and Mrs. Weaseley cleared the plates and Mr. Weasley disappeared off with Tonks, Lupin and Shacklebolt to discuss something or another.

“What are you smirking about, Malfoy?” Weasel asked me suspiciously.

“Nothing,” I answered remembering that I clearly have no right to ever feel happy. “The food was fantastic… who prepared it?”

The Weasel and the Twins gave each other strange looks.

“My mum,” he answered finally as though waiting for a snide remark. I tilted my head to the side and glanced at his two brothers with a small smirk.

“Honestly, your mother is an excellent cook, your twin brothers are incredibly talented and successful,” I paused with feigned confusion. “What the hell happened to you?”

Everyone stared at me in shock for a few moments. Harry couldn’t quite decide what look he wanted to give me. Weasel’s face shifted into shocked offense while the Twins blinked at one another for a while before breaking into identical mischievous smiles.

“We’re still trying to figure that one out,” one of the two told me sympathetically. I chuckled softly and, somehow, after that, they didn’t seem to have a problem with me at all.

They also told me to address them as Fred and George, though I can’t for the life of me figure out which one is which.

Somehow, none of that made me feel better at all.

After breakfast and a quick wash, I retreated back to my room.

I kept thinking of my mother…

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone and insignificant. I realized, perhaps more clearly than before, that I am alone. I have no parents and I have no family. I have no one and nothing at all. I’ve given everything up to Harry and I can’t even have him the way I want to.

He might be willing to take my body or vice-versa… he might be willing to accept my help and even look for it. He might want my company but…

He doesn’t want my heart. And he won’t let me have his.

I don’t know what I was expecting. I don’t know if I was expecting anything at all really…

I shouldn’t have been. All I was to him was likely some kind release… just a fuck, perhaps?

His precious little rodent has returned, after all.

I jumped when I heard a knock at the door. When I opened it I realized that it was Harry with a rather sly smile on his face.

“Can I come in?” he asked. He shouldn’t have. It’s his house, after all.

I stepped back and let him pass. He walked in and I realized that he was carrying something I couldn’t see behind him. That sounds strange, but he looked as though there was something rather heavy pressing down on his shoulder.

He dropped whatever it was on my bed and turned around to look at me. Without my realizing it, the door closed with a soft click.

“Happy Christmas,” he said joyously. He threw his Invisibility cloak off of the thing he was carrying, and I realized that it was not “a thing” so much as many things.

My eyes widened in shock and I stared at the items that lay on my bed. The first thing I noticed was the cage. Inside was sitting my Eagle Owl, Regulus.

I gasped and ran up to it, opening the door so that he could come out and perch on my arm. I smiled and pet his stomach softly.

“You got Regulus for me?” I asked amazed. Harry nodded from next to me.

“I thought you might miss him,” he explained quietly, surveying me as I held my owl. “After seeing you with Hedwig… well I realized that you must miss your own as well. So I sent Hedwig to McGonagall to ask her to return a few of your belongings. I assumed they were all still at Hogwarts.”

I looked at him quizzically. He nodded over to the bed again and I realized that Regulus was not the only thing Harry had returned to me. My Nimbus Two-Thousand-One was lying, perfectly polished and looking like new, on the bed.

I nearly dropped Regulus.

I placed him carefully back in his cage, instead, and lifted my old broomstick, running my fingers over the smooth edges.

I miss flying too.

I smiled as a feeling of nostalgia washed over me. My eyes darted to the rest of the small pile of gifts though these were all wrapped. I turned back to him.

“What are these?” I asked quietly. He chuckled and shook his head.

“Those are gifts, Draco,” he said sarcastically. “You open them and keep whatever is inside. It’s a custom among wizards for Christmas.”

I frowned at him and he gestured for me to open them.

I picked up a package that was wrapped in red and green and opened it. Inside was a pair of fitted black trousers. Package after package, there were several, contained new clothes and belts. He smiled happily as I opened the gifts. They were all fine-quality clothes and likely came from different stores in Diagon Alley.

“As much as I love seeing you in my clothes,” Harry admitted slowly. “I figured that you might need some that actually fit you. I ordered these two weeks ago. Oh, and there’s one more thing from me.” He picked a small sack out of his pocket. It was velvet and embroidered with three ‘W’s. “I know you really like Weasleys Wizard Wheezes,” he told me, his face flushing pink. “So I got Fred and George to arrange this for you.”

I took the bag and opened it. Inside was a thick gold coin that looked very much like a galleon, but twice as large. Engraved on the front was the logo of their store and a number.

“It’s kind of like money just for their store,” Harry explained rather lamely. “Well, whenever I get a chance, I’m going to take you there… you can get whatever you like with this. I couldn’t pick what to get… so this kind of allows you to get everything.”

He gave me an embarrassed smile and I simply stared at him, my lips softly parted and no words to give him. I couldn’t believe it.

He had done all this for me… given me back my prized possessions, a new wardrobe and promised me something as simple as a shopping trip with him.

I let my fingers wrap around the coin in my hand and cast my eyes downwards.

“Thank you…” I whispered. “I… I don’t have anything to give you…”

I couldn’t look at him, but he crawled over from his spot on the ground and tilted my head upwards a bit so that his eyes could meet mine.

“You’ve already given me everything,” he said quietly with another embarrassed smile. Then he pressed his lips to mine for a moment and I let myself drown in the feelings that the embrace entailed.

“Hey, wait,” he said, pulling away from the kiss. “There’s one more. It’s from Remus and Tonks.”

I blinked away the daze his kiss had left me in and looked over. There was one more package wrapped in silver and green. I unwrapped it and inside there was a new cloak.

It was elegant and long. Black material embroidered with very faint silver designs. The clasp at the neck of the cloak was silver and was in the shape of a dog superimposed onto what looked like the moon.

“This cape belonged to Sirius when he was younger,” Harry explained, his throat closing tightly. “Remus wanted you to have it.”

I gaped. Sirius? Lupin and Harry both had ties to him… I had none more than he was my cousin… why should I have this and neither of them?

“I can’t keep this,” I told him quietly. “You should have it… or…”

“No,” Harry shook his head. “I have my own mementos of Sirius and I will always have the memory of him. Everything he’s done for me and still does. Remus has his memories and keepsakes. You remind him of Sirius, he told me. He also mentioned something about stars, but I’m not too sure I know what he meant by that.”

I blinked. Stars?

Oh yes… constellations.

Sirius is the brightest star in the sky, part of Canis Major and Draco is a constellation… The Dragon.

Funny… I suppose we both kind of are what are names suggest. He was the faithful black dog…and I’m just a Dragon… useful but not good to keep, I imagine.

Or I was.

I don’t know.

“This… means a lot,” I whispered, holding the cloak close to me. Then I noticed something else. There was a silver and black pin in the box still. It was a crest bearing serpents.

“That’s the Black Family crest,” Harry explained. “Tonks said that her mother and each of her sisters were supposed to get one, but for some reason your mother never got hers. It’s yours now.”

I cast my eyes away and placed all the items back down on the bed before running my fingers through my hair. I didn’t know how to feel… what to think…

Everything lately has been so confusing and I wanted so desperately to know if Harry was doing this all because he really cared or because he felt guilty for everything… guilty for the She-Weasel, guilty for wanting me… guilty for never having really cared for me… the way he thought or the way I wanted.

He took my hand and brought me to my feet. He pulled me close to him and smiled, looking deep into my eyes. I swallowed hard as I watched the green in his eyes shift slowly. I felt warm against him and wanted to forget and not care about anything. I wanted to just be with him and pretend it didn’t matter if he didn’t feel the same way.

I don’t care about feelings…

“Draco,” he whispered leaning in closer to me, his lips only an inch from mine.

I took a deep breath and covered his mouth with mine, pressing through his lips with my tongue to taste him again. He complied eagerly and let my tongue run over his as his hands traced their way up my back and under my shirt.

I pulled Harry closer and let my inhibitions die, dragging his shirt up until I could pull it over his head. He plucked away at the buttons on my shirt until he was able to pull it down my back and drop it.

Soon his arms were around me again and his fingertips were pulling at my skin while I ground my hips against his to feel him hard again me. I nibbled on his lip, slipping my hand down under the hem of his trousers while the other came up to angle his head back.

My breath became short and ragged, pushing my heartbeat faster and drawing out my need… intensifying my desire for him. He let out a soft throaty moan as my fingers found their way down to his entrance and pressed against the muscle.

Harry dragged his arms down my sides and his fingers drew lines around my waist until he reached my belt. Quickly undoing the buckle, he made little work of removing my trousers. I smiled into the kiss and sucked on his tongue, his glasses skewing slightly on his nose.

I pulled his trousers down as well, letting my hands roam all over his body, wherever I could reach. When my fingers found their way back to his entrance he gasped and pulled away suddenly, his eyes heavy with lust.

“Hang on.”

-------IIIIIII-------

A/N: Bad time to stop, neh?

Well sorry for the two day delay X_X surprise parties and father’s day celebrations to get together and ahh the craziness. Yesterday wasn’t a fantastic day either so I’m still feeling the effects from that, but I have written and yes! Posted!

I don’t like this chapter much but I needed to get it out and bleh. I’m also not purposely trying to bash Ginny (though I don’t like her much at all… or at all lol) What I’m actually doing is… well… when I went back through the books, I looked at everything as objectively as possible, through as different a perspective as I could from Harry’s. I’m doing my best to write it the way Draco would see it and if you pay attention to Ginny’s character, (more in books 5 and 6) she becomes cold and rather hostile… she’s very aggressive when she feels she’s being attacked and she’ll make hurtful comments a lot. An example is what she was yelling at Ron when he told her he didn’t want to see her snogging anyone in the hallways.

That and I was really bothered by the fact that she was going around with a new guy every week… and when she told Harry “I never really gave up on you you know” because that just seemed manipulative… You didn’t give up on him so, what, those other guys were just tools? You were using them to make him jealous, or playing the field, or what was that exactly? That’s what bothered me. Sorry if you disagree. I really am, but that is how I see it.

Anywho, hope you think this is alright! The cloak thing from Remus I thought was important… I figured that if anyone would give him gifts it would be Harry and Remus (and Tonks technically because she’s his cousin, bleh). Yeah. I had some fun.

OH YEAH, and the “thing” from the last chapter was about Snape. Draco’s having yelled “Don’t call me coward” struck a chord with Harry because Snape yells that to Harry during their battle at the end of HBP. To Harry, it hit him hard because he could see things from Draco’s perspective and was able to understand that his actions were not out of cowardice, but attempts to protect his family and himself. The idea that he can accept that Draco isn’t a coward makes him wonder if maybe he was wrong about Snape too. That’s the whole “maybe he wasn’t either” comment.

Ah I hope that was comprehensible there X_X Kudos to those of you that caught it and no worries to those that didn’t ! It was meant to be cryptic (After all that’s how Harry is, neh? Hahaha)

And in case anyone didn’t quite understand why Ginny attacked Draco, well again, it is part of how I and Draco see her character, but also she was never informed that Draco was staying with Harry. She had no idea why he was there and it was an instinctive reaction (on some level).

Oh and Masha, I don’t understand Chinese, but if you’d like to send it I’d be glad to see it! It would be interesting just to know what it looks like hahaha Kind of symbolic to me I guess X_X

I also have no idea, honestly, if a Patronus can take the form of a human or a mythological creature O_O I would imagine the creature thing to be possible, though I don’t know about a person. Anywho, you will see Draco’s Patronus soon!

To ehcie-utada: I do like anime, though that wouldn’t be the only reason I want to speak Japanese. I think the language is fascinating, along with the culture and one of my friends is Japanese. I’d like to go to Japan one day for a visit… speaking the language would always be a plus! Though I’d love to know a lot of languages. Croatian is also on my list though I don’t know if that will ever happen. And Gaelic. Yeah. And Arabic hahaha I think I’m mad.

Fred and George would likely have fumed at Draco and planned to set some kind of product off on him… dungbombs, one of their joke things… or maybe just an outright attack but Lupin talked to them first. That and they like him now because he complimented them but insulted Ron. Happy times.

And my GOODIE! *dance* I dunno what it could be… a drawing maybe? Or a story? Lol I have no idea X_X I’m so excited though!

OH and YES Harry will speak Parseltongue to Draco because more than anything I think it’s HAWT. Even if I can’t write the actual Parseltongue… just the idea hahahah

GAH I’m rambling X_X I need to get a move on with the chapters so I can finish before the damn book comes out hahahaha

Love and cookies to all for reviewwws!