Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

--------------------------
Cold and Empty Heart
--------------------------

The summer holiday seemed to be dragging for Remus. Since Sirius had returned to London, he had found himself at a loose end every day.

“You could give the outside of the house a coat of paint?” Romulus suggested, after Remus had declared his boredom for the eighth time that morning.

Remus sighed and looked outside. “It looks like it’s going to rain,” he replied.

Romulus drummed his fingers on his arm impatiently. “Well, how about you clear out the attic? It’s long overdue.”

Remus shook his head. “I don’t fancy arguing with the old witch up there, and you know she gets all possessive about the junk up there.”

“You could do some studying for next term.”

Remus didn’t even bother replying to that suggestion. He wasn’t so bored that he would resort to that. He had several homework assignments still to do, but he was putting them off until the end of the summer, when he was planning on working on them during his visit with Sirius.

“Roll on next summer,” Romulus commented.

“Why?”

“Because you’ll have left Hogwarts, and I won’t have to put up with weeks of complaints about you being bored,” Romulus told him. “Next summer you’ll have to find a job as soon as you leave school.”

“Maybe I’ll go visit Firenze,” Remus said. “I could practice my shooting.”

“Merlin spare us,” Romulus said with a roll of his eyes. “McGonagall should have kept that bow in her locker.”

“I’m not that bad,” Remus huffed.

“You’ve not practised in years,” Romulus reminded him. “You’re downright awful.”

Remus glared, but he knew there was nothing he could say in his defence. After all, the last time he had tried shooting anything he had been distracted so much his arrow had gone right through Romulus. If he hadn’t already been dead, Remus’s poor aim would have finished him off. Romulus had assured him though, that if he had still had a body, he would have stood somewhere well out of range, just in case.

His mind was made up, and Remus dug his bow and arrows out of the trunk and set out to walk through the forest to the centaur camp.

As it happened, he actually came across Firenze well before he reached the camp.

“Out hunting?” the centaur asked, startling Remus and causing him to stumble into a rather prickly bush.

Firenze, and the centaur he was with, laughed as he pulled himself free and stood up.

“What are you doing out here?” Firenze asked. “On your way to the camp?”

Remus nodded as he brushed himself off. “It’s been a while, and I thought I’d check in and see how things are over there?”

Firenze snorted without humour. “Same as ever,” he muttered. “Can’t really talk about it though.”

“Why not?” Remus asked.

Firenze gestured towards his companion. “Politics,” he said with a sigh.

“If you wish me to return to the camp…” the other centaur’s voice trailed off and he turned as if to leave.

Firenze looked like he wanted him to leave, but for some reason was reluctant to say so. Thankfully, the other centaur read enough of his feelings in his face. He shrugged and turned to canter back the way they had come.

Remus waited until the pure white centaur, right down to his hair, had disappeared into the trees before he spoke again. “What was that all about?” he asked. “I don’t recognise him.”

“He’s not of my herd,” Firenze explained. “He’s part of an envoy from one of the lowland herds.”

“Magorian is looking to form an alliance with them?” Remus guessed.

Firenze nodded. “He wishes me to bond with Alpin there.”

“What?” Remus spluttered. “But you’re both male!”

“Really?” Firenze said with a small smile. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“But you said that bonding was the centaur equivalent of a marriage,” Remus pointed out.

“It can be,” Firenze replied. “But sometimes it’s simply a business contract. Which is what Magorian has in mind for me.”

“I thought things would be better now that you’ve agreed to sponsor Taranis?”

Firenze snorted again and stamped a hoof on the ground. “Magorian specialises in being paranoid,” he told him. “Even though I’ve given up my right to lead the herd by sponsoring Taranis, he fears that his son may one day be challenged by a son of my own.”

“Could your son do that?” Remus asked.

Firenze nodded. “But only a legitimate heir would ever have the backing of the herd,” he explained. “By bonding me to another stallion, any foal I sire will be illegitimate.”

“But what’s to stop you bonding to one of the mares as well?” Remus asked. “If the bonding to Alpin is only a business contract, then surely you could bond to a mare as well?”

Firenze shook his head. “A centaur can only enter into one bonding at time. Only the death of one of the parties can break the bond.”

“So, there’s no divorces for centaurs?” Remus asked. “That seems a bit harsh.”

“It’s the centaur way,” Firenze replied. “It is also for that reason, that a bonding is never entered into lightly.”

“It doesn’t seem fair to stop you marrying altogether,” Remus said as they approached a clearing.

Firenze trotted over to the trees on the far side of the clearing and reached up to pick a couple of apples from one of the lower branches. He tossed one to Remus who took a bite.

“Do you have to enter the bonding with Alpin?” he asked as he chewed.

“No one ever has to do anything,” Firenze replied. “But Magorian will make my life very difficult if I refuse.”

“How so?”

“Curtail my freedom for one thing. Alpin isn’t so bad. I’ve known him for years. His father and mine were close friends.”

“Was he the one that your father wanted Ebony to bond with?”

Firenze shook his head. “No. My father was seeking an alliance with another herd, one we had no close ties with. Alpin’s herd is already closely tied with our own due to several bondings.”

“Then why does Magorian want to bond you to someone in that herd?” Remus asked. “If they’re already allies, then what’s the point?”

Firenze shrugged. “I’m not sure. Magorian hasn’t exactly let me in on his reasons. It could be that the alliance is in trouble since my father’s death. There is also the fact that most centaurs won’t wish to give up their chance of an heir by bonding with a centaur of the same sex… especially when that centaur is not an heir.”

“I can’t see why they would bond to someone of the same sex anyway,” Remus commented.

“Can’t you?” Firenze asked.

Remus shook his head.

“Land and power are the main persuaders.”

“Do any of them marry the same sex for love?” Remus asked, curious to know the opinions of the centaurs on that matter. He already knew that neither wizards or muggles were allowed to marry the same sex for love, but the centaurs had always done things differently.

“Not very often,” Firenze admitted. “There are some, but we are a dying race, and for that reason it is frowned upon. There were far more in the past, when the centaurs were found in all corners of the land, instead of these tiny pockets.”

Remus thought about that for a few minutes before he spoke again. “How does Alpin feel about giving up a chance of an heir?”

“He already has a son,” Firenze replied. “Two actually. Did you see the markings on his arm?” Remus nodded. “That means he has been bonded before. The mare he was bonded with died last winter. They had two sons, so the loss of an heir is not an issue. He can bond with me and know that his own herd will be safely cared for by one or both of his sons. They are sponsored by his younger brother, and Alpin is free to leave his herd to come here.”

“Isn’t Magorian worried that one of those sons will want to challenge his son?”

“They are not of this herd and would have no claim.”

Remus chewed at his apple for a few minutes more.

“There’s something else you want to ask?” Firenze queried.

Remus shrugged. “Just wondering what’s in it for Alpin,” he said. “He doesn’t need to bond for an heir, because he already has one. He already has land, so why give it up to come here?”

“They are good points,” Firenze commented.

“So, why does he want to bond with you?” Remus asked. “Do you think he could be in love with you or something?”

Firenze laughed and shook his head. “I’ve no idea why he would agree to this, but I’m quite sure that that is not the reason behind his complacence.”

“He might be.”

“He isn’t,” Firenze insisted. “Just because you swing that way…”

“I don’t,” Remus said, almost automatically. “It’s just the wolf.”

Firenze snorted. “You are the wolf,” he pointed out.

Remus didn’t want to get into that particular discussion with yet another person, so he quickly turned the subject back to the one they had been discussing before. “Why don’t you ask him why he’d go through with this?” he suggested.

“I did.”

“And?”

“He wouldn’t tell me.”

“Maybe he’s up to something,” Remus guessed. “Trying to take over the herd or something, attack from the inside… you know?”

“You sound as paranoid as Magorian,” Firenze told him with a chuckle.

“Then why won’t he tell you why?”

Firenze shrugged again. “It’s starting to rain,” he commented. “You want to come back to the camp?”

Remus nodded. He had other things he could be doing, but he was now rather curious about Alpin, and concerned for his friend.

The camp hadn’t really changed much, although the guests from the other herd made it far more crowded than usual.

Remus followed Firenze towards where Alpin was surrounded by several young mares, each of them vying for his attention. He wondered if all centaurs were as forward as these females. He certainly didn’t like the idea of anyone pawing at him like they were doing to Alpin.

Alpin spotted Firenze and quickly excused himself from the presence of the mares.

“I should apologise for my rudeness,” Firenze said to Alpin. “I neglected to introduce you to my friend.”

Alpin nodded. “That’s quite all right.” He nodded at Remus. “I am Alpin of the Selkirk Herd. It is good to meet you.”

“Remus Lupin,” Remus said, offering his hand. Alpin took it and shook it enthusiastically.

“Remus lives in Hogsmeade,” Firenze said. “He’s a student at Hogwarts, although they’ve broken up for the summer.”

“A fine school,” Alpin commented.

They chatted amiably for several minutes, until Firenze saw Ebony waving at him from across the other side of the camp.

“I’d better go see what she’s whining about now,” he said.

Remus watched Firenze walk away before turning back to Alpin. He was surprised to see that two of the mares were now back at Alpin’s side, vying for his attention.

“If you’ll excuse me,” said Alpin, ducking out of the way and taking refuge in Firenze’s hut.

Remus followed after him. “What’s with them?” he asked, pointing back over his shoulder.

“They’re a little over enthusiastic,” Alpin muttered, helping himself to a drink from the earthenware jug on the table.

“But why?” Remus asked. “I’ve never seen them act like that over the other centaurs.”

“The others aren’t pure white, like me,” Alpin pointed out. “There’s a myth about pure white centaurs and they are eager to find out whether it’s true or not.”

“What’s the myth?” Remus asked, helping himself to a drink, too.

“We’re supposed to have a lot more stamina than other centaurs,” Alpin replied with a snort of annoyance. “It’s nonsense, of course, but for some reason the myth never seems to die.”

“Do the mares in your own herd act like the ones here?” Remus asked. “Or is it just the novelty of you being here?”

“You’ll find silly mares like these wherever you go,” Alpin muttered. “They were bad before I bonded with my wife, although she was equally curious. Since her passing…” Alpin shook his head in exasperation.

“Is that why you’re willing to bond with Firenze?” Remus asked. “Because you’re tired of the mares bothering you?”

Alpin gave him a sharp look. “I see that my ears should have been burning.”

Remus had the good grace to at least look sheepish.

“Yes, that is the reason why,” Alpin confirmed.

“Why didn’t you tell Firenze that?”

Alpin laughed. “Any other centaur would relish the idea of having the mares fawning all over him night and day. Firenze would find far too much amusement in the situation, were he to know the truth.”

Remus grinned. “What makes you think I won’t tell him?”

Alpin shrugged and took another swallow from his cup. “If I have to put up with any more nonsense from the mares of this herd, I’ll probably tell him myself, and for no other reason than to put a stop to his suspicions of my motives and persuade him to get on with sorting out the arrangements. If he leaves it much longer, I swear I will have to hide out in your forest with the acromantulas.”

“What?” Remus gasped. “You don’t mean those giant spiders?”

“I see you’ve heard of them.”

“But you can’t go and live with them, they’d eat you alive even if you are a centaur?”

Alpin shook his head. “You’re right, but it’s them or the mares, and both of them bite.”

Remus laughed and shook his head.

Alpin laughed as well. “The acromantulas are deep in the forest, and not anywhere near to the camp or the village. The mares are right here. Seems to me like the devil you know and the devil you don’t.”

“I’d take my chances with the mares,” Remus replied. “I’m not that fond of spiders.”

Alpin chuckled. “Who is?”

-o-xXx-o-

“She’s driving me mad,” Sirius complained to Regulus after he had thrown himself across his brother’s bed, pulled a pillow over his face, and wished he could smother himself.

It was nearly four in the morning, and Sirius had only just returned from the latest of the social gatherings he was being dragged to.

“You couldn’t have waited until the morning to come in here and wake me up?” Regulus asked grumpily.

“Actually, Mother sent me up to see you,” Sirius told him. “She’s invited some people back here and…”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Regulus muttered. “Keep the squib out of the way in case I taint the purebloods.”

“Sorry.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Regulus replied. “Wouldn’t want to speak with them anyway.”

“You’re not missing much,” Sirius told him. “Three hours of complaints about the new editor of the Prophet are hardly riveting.”

“There’s a new editor of the Prophet?”

Sirius nodded. “One who apparently supports the rights of muggle-born wizards, so you can guess what the old fogies had to say about that.”

Regulus chuckled and Sirius stood up.

“Sirius?” Regulus called as he made his way towards the door.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you, what’s happening with you and Remus?”

Sirius frowned and suddenly the embroidery on the bed hangings was immensely interesting.

“I’m only asking because he’s coming to stay at the end of the holidays,” Regulus added. “Just want to know if I need to knock on your door before barging in.”

Sirius shook his head. “Remus only wants me around the full moons,” he explained. “He’s still got his girlfriend the rest of the month.”

“Well, that must suck.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Sirius muttered. “The whole of the last bloody year sucks if you ask me.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Putting it mildly,” Sirius replied. “Remus is being a stubborn git and I have to put up with watching him snogging his girlfriend at every opportunity. I got outed, too.”

“You never mentioned that in your letters.”

Sirius shrugged and walked back to the bed. “Didn’t really want to think about it,” he muttered as he sat down.

“Was it bad?”

“I got beat up by a bunch of seventh years,” Sirius explained.

“Slytherins?” Regulus asked. After all these years, he was still curious about Hogwarts and the houses.

Sirius shook his head. “Not all of them. Some from all the houses except Gryffindor, actually.”

“Well, at least your own house has stood by you,” Regulus pointed out.

“Not really. They just didn’t happen to be there at the time. They’d probably have joined in if they had the chance.” Sirius tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but he knew that he was failing miserably.

“Do Mother and Father know?” Regulus asked curiously.

“Mother does. She actually seemed concerned when I told her. Probably worried that they might have ruined her chance of my providing an heir.”

“Are you okay though?” Regulus asked. “You got your own back on them, didn’t you?”

“Remus sent a few carefully chosen curses their way. The ringleader was in the hospital wing for a week.”

Regulus looked thoughtful for a few minutes until he spoke again, surprising Sirius as he often did. “We do self defence at school you know? It’s part of our physical education classes.”

“Yeah?”

“I could teach you some of it, if you like,” Regulus suggested. “It’s not as good as learning spells and stuff, but it might take them by surprise if they try it again next term.”

“They’ll have left school next term,” Sirius reminded him.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I forgot.” Regulus ducked his head in embarrassment. “I shouldn’t have suggested it. What can a few surprise moves do against magic anyway?”

“Fat lot of good magic did me,” Sirius muttered, with a lingering trace of bitterness. “I’d like to learn some of what you’ve been doing at school.”

“Really?”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah. We can start in the morning if you like?”

Regulus grinned. “Or we could start now. There’s this really cool move I could show you right now!”

“Okay,” agreed Sirius, right before Regulus pulled a move that flipped him right off of the bed. “That was mean,” he muttered as he picked himself up off the floor.

“Good move though,” Regulus said with a grin as he sat back and made room for Sirius to sit back down.

“Can you really teach me how to fight like muggles?” Sirius asked. “Properly I mean, not catching me by surprise like that.”

Regulus nodded. “I can try. You might be a lost cause with no co-ordination,” he teased.

Sirius grinned. “I might kick your butt, too.”

Regulus laughed. “You can try.”

Sirius laughed along with him. “Thanks, Regulus.”

Regulus gave an embarrassed shrug. “Are you really okay with being outed? Everyone knowing about you and talking about you? Isn’t it hard?”

“It’s not like I have much choice,” Sirius pointed out. “I’m out and I’m dealing with it. It’s not like my being gay is anything new. I had a lot of time to get used to who I am before the rest of the school found out about me. I just wish they’d all stop staring at me. It’s like some of the lads see me differently now they know.”

“How so?”

“Like, when I use the prefects’ bathroom, if anyone’s in there, they dress and leave as soon as they can in case I’m checking them out. The Quidditch players are the worst. I used to hang out in the locker room and chat all the time; now they’ve made it really obvious they don’t want me there. It’s like they think it’s catching or something.”

“I’m guessing you getting beat up didn’t do you any favours with winning Remus round either?”

Sirius shook his head. “He’s not said much about it, but I know that he doesn’t want to give people anything else to hate him about. He’s really careful not to do anything that might give people the wrong idea.”

“You mean the right idea,” Regulus corrected.

“That, too,” Sirius replied.

“He’ll come around eventually,” Regulus said consolingly.

“Will he?” Sirius asked. “I don’t know any more, and the guilt is starting to get to me. Sooner or later Charlene’s going to find out about us and I’m dreading the day that happens.”

“She’ll be really pissed.”

“Yeah.”

“You could break things off with Remus,” Regulus suggested. “Make him choose between you.”

“I could.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“He’ll choose her,” Sirius whispered. “If I give him that ultimatum, I’ll lose what little of him I have.”

“You sound pretty sure about that.”

“I’m more sure about that than anything else in this whole mess,” Sirius replied with another heavy sigh.

Sirius returned to his own room as frustrated as he had ever been. He was still no nearer to winning Remus around and he was starting to wonder if it was even worth the effort. When he wasn’t in Remus’s arms, or in his bed, he felt horrendously guilty about Charlene and was far from happy about what they were doing. If only he could remember those feelings when Remus’s mouth was pressed against his own.

-o-xXx-o-

The owl arrived at the end of a particularly trying day, and was the perfect way to end it.

Sirius tossed the letter onto his bed and grabbed his communications mirror. Remus appeared in his mirror a few moments later, his face looking a little nervous, as though he knew what was coming.

“Are you out of your bloody mind?” Sirius barked.

“I can’t help it that her parents said yes,” Remus replied. “I don’t want her here any more than you do.”

“Then tell her that!”

“You know I can’t.”

“Sure you can,” Sirius replied. “Just tell her you don’t want her there.”

“But she’ll want to know why.”

“You could tell her that it’ll stop the two of us shagging,” Sirius suggested.

He wasn’t surprised that Remus disappeared immediately from the mirror.

Sirius had known that it was only a matter of time before Charlene had insisted on being there during the full moon. Despite her initial fear of seeing the werewolf, Charlene was of the opinion that if she was there with Remus’s permission then things would go much better than if she just turned up without warning. Sirius suspected that she was probably right, but it didn’t mean he wanted her there.

-o-xXx-o-

The day of the full moon was hot and muggy, and Sirius was stuck at Malfoy Manor, trying to find somewhere in the shade at the annual barbecue.

The open fires weren’t helping the heat and Sirius had eventually taken refuge in the gazebo.

He reached into his robes and pulled out his wand, casting a quick spell that sent a cool breeze towards his face.

“You couldn’t point that in this direction, could you?” an unfamiliar voice asked.

Sirius turned to see an unfamiliar young man, around his own age, or maybe a little older, was standing in the doorway. He shrugged and pointed the wand at the other man, causing him to breathe a sigh at the welcome relief from the heat.

“You’re Sirius Black, aren’t you?” the man said as he stepped inside and sat down on the opposite bench.

Sirius nodded. He wasn’t surprised that he had been recognised, most of the Blacks were well known in society.

“Saw you around school last year,” the man continued, without bothering to introduce himself. “You got outed, didn’t you?”

“What’s it to you?” Sirius snapped, turning the wand back to his own face in the hope that it would cool his blush of embarrassment. Although he had now become used to being known as one of the very few known homosexuals at Hogwarts, this was the first time he had been approached outside of school with regard to his sexuality. He wondered briefly if word had made its way back to his father yet, but by now he didn’t really care if it did. He was of age, he had the money from Uncle Alphard, and all he had to do was walk out the door if things became too much. Were it not for Regulus, he would have left already.

His companion wasn’t answering his question; instead he was simply staring at Sirius, and making him more than a little uncomfortable.

“What are you staring at?” Sirius finally snapped. “It’s not like I’ve got scales or something!”

The other young man shrugged and stood up. “Just wondering,” he said, right before he leaned down and kissed him.

Sirius pulled back immediately. “What are you doing?” he spluttered.

“Seeing what it’s like,” he replied. “I watched you after you were outed. It’s not like you’re seeing anyone. The only bloke you really hang round with is the werewolf, and he’s got a girlfriend.”

“Why didn’t you say anything at school?” Sirius asked.

“I was a seventh year, just about to do my N.E.W.T.s, the last thing I needed was the stress of getting outed.”

Sirius nodded, understanding that sentiment very well.

“So, what do you think?”

“About what?”

“About livening up this boring afternoon, of course.”

Sirius didn’t need to ask what he had in mind, it was written all over his face. “I don’t even know who you are,” he pointed out.

“Marcus,” the young man replied.

“Marcus…?” Sirius hinted.

“You think I want to be outed to everyone?” Marcus asked.

Sirius could understand that as well.

“So, what about it?”

Sirius looked outside and saw that no one was around. He judged it to be mid-afternoon, and around the time that Charlene was due to arrive at Remus’s house. He was probably greeting her already, kissing her hello, and leading her into his home.

He looked up at Marcus and nodded. It wasn’t like he was making any progress whatsoever with Remus, he told himself. Remus had told him that he wouldn’t mind if he got himself a boyfriend, so what was the harm in having a bit of fun on a hot and boring afternoon?

He was wondering whether this was just the latest in a long line of bad ideas when Marcus leaned over him and pressed their lips together.

It was too hard, Sirius thought as he kissed Marcus back. There was no tenderness to the kiss, just hard pressure. It wasn’t that the kisses he had shared with Remus were particularly soft and gentle, but there was something to them that was missing right now.

Marcus didn’t seem to find anything wrong with the kiss, and was soon straddling Sirius’s lap. Sirius could feel the evidence of how much Marcus was enjoying this and felt his own body responding with equal enthusiasm.

It’s not like he’d had sex with Marcus, he told himself as he straightened his robes afterwards. They’d just got each other off; lots of blokes did it. According to the magazines he had read, including the newer ones he’d purchased this summer, it was a common activity for two blokes to engage in on a night out at a club. It didn’t mean anything.

He was resolved to tell Remus what he had done just as soon as he was alone with him. He wondered if Remus might be jealous, but suspected he would simply encourage Sirius to pursue it further.

Marcus had disappeared back to the crowd of purebloods gathered on the lawn and Sirius sighed as he sat back down on the bench. “What the hell am I doing?” he asked himself.

Outside, he could see his mother talking to Narcissa. He wondered whether anyone would even notice if he left now. His mind was made up almost immediately that the thought occurred to him and he apparated straight to Hogsmeade.

He wasn’t surprised to see that Charlene had already arrived; from the look of things she had been there for quite a while already. She didn’t look entirely pleased to see him, and he had the distinct impression that he might have interrupted something.

“You’re early,” Remus said as he followed him into the house.

“Sorry,” Sirius muttered. “I can go home and come back later, if you want?”

“Don’t be daft,” Remus replied. “Come on through here.”

Sirius walked into the living room and tried not to be quite so pleased that Charlene was sitting in one of the chairs, leaving the sofa for him and Remus.

“Hi, Sirius,” Romulus greeted him, giving one reason why Remus might not have been cuddling up with his girlfriend on the sofa.

The next few hours passed in awkward, stilted conversation. By the time that sunset arrived, Sirius was half wishing he had stayed at the Malfoys’ barbecue.

He followed Remus down the stairs to the basement, trying to keep Charlene at the back of him.

“Maybe you should wait upstairs?” he suggested to her.

“She doesn’t have to,” Remus replied before Charlene could say a word.

“But you don’t like anyone seeing you change,” Sirius pointed out.

“I’m not just anyone,” Charlene reminded him, as if it was even necessary. “I’m his girlfriend.”

“If you two are going to start arguing, do it upstairs,” Romulus ordered. “This month is going to be tense enough, without the sniping.”

“She should at least wait until he’s undressed,” Sirius muttered.

“Do you wait until he’s undressed?” Charlene retorted.

“No.”

“Then don’t ask me to.”

Remus, meanwhile, had shrugged out of his robes and was trying his best to cover himself up. Sirius tried not to feel overly smug at the obvious fact that Remus wasn’t quite as comfortable with Charlene seeing him naked as he might have made out. He took of his own robe and passed it to Remus.

“It might get torn,” Remus told him.

“It’s an old one,” Sirius replied. “I was only wearing it because Mother insisted I wear Slytherin colours to the Malfoy’s barbecue.”

Remus nodded and held the robe in front of him while Sirius took Remus’s clothes and put them out of harm’s way.

“How long does it take?” Charlene asked. “The change, I mean?”

“Too long,” Sirius said as he sat down on the floor and waited for the sun to go down.

-o-xXx-o-

Moony sat back and howled as soon as the change was complete.

There was someone else here, someone who wasn’t usually there.

“Hi, Moony,” the dark-haired one said.

Moony whined and approached the barrier, curious about the other one.

“Should I say hello?” the other one asked.

“If you like,” the dark-haired one said. Moony could tell that he didn’t sound pleased and let out another whine.

The dark-haired one wasn’t talking to him like he usually did. He let out another howl, trying to get his attention.

“Now, now,” the misty one scolded. “Don’t start getting all angry again.”

Moony turned to the misty one, before bounding back across the cage, eager to play. The misty one teased him for several minutes, disappearing from one end of the cage before reappearing at the other. Moony skidded across the floor as he chased him, wishing he had the open space to run freely.

It was in the middle of this play that he found his paws becoming tangled in the fabric that had been lying on the floor.

It had happened on occasions before now, particularly in the winter months, when Remus had tried to keep warm before the change by wrapping an old blanket about himself. Sirius had seen the wolf tear at the blanket or Remus’s robes before, but never like this.

The wolf wasn’t just pawing at the robes because they were in his way; instead he was tearing them apart with his teeth as though he had some personal grievance against them. He wasn’t trying to get them out of his way; he was trying to destroy them.

“I think perhaps he can smell you on them,” Romulus said as they watched the wolf.

Sirius nodded thoughtfully as he approached the barrier. He wondered just what the wolf could smell on his robes, and specifically, whether the wolf could pick up the scent of Marcus. Maybe that was why Moony was so angry?

Moony didn’t seem to take any notice of the others for the rest of the night, and devoted himself to tearing apart Sirius’s robes.

Eventually, Charlene distracted him from his observations by asking him about the healing spells and potions that would be needed in the morning.

“You don’t need to learn about them,” Sirius told her.

“But if I’m going to be taking care of Remus…”

“You’re not!” Sirius interrupted bluntly. “I take care of him. I’ve been learning how to care for him since second year, we don’t need you.”

“But-”

“Leave the arguments until the morning,” Romulus warned. “Moony might be distracted now, but he won’t be if you keep this up.”

Sirius sulked a little, as did Charlene, but they remained quiet until the morning came.

“You can keep the robes,” Sirius said to Remus as the werewolf looked at the shredded fabric lying on the ground beside him.

He helped Remus to sit up, making sure to position himself so that Charlene couldn’t see Remus’s nakedness.

“What happened to them?”

“Moony seemed to take offence to them,” Sirius told him. “Can’t say I blame him; I never liked that set of robes myself.”

Remus chuckled and picked up the fabric. “Moony could probably smell you on them,” he said.

“Yeah, Romulus said the same.”

“Where’s Rom?” Remus asked.

“Upstairs,” Charlene replied, passing Remus his own robes.

“Thanks,” he said. “Can you leave us alone for a minute, please?”

Charlene looked suspicious, but Sirius was merely confused.

“Please?” Remus repeated.

Charlene didn’t look happy about it, but she reluctantly went upstairs.

“What’s wrong?” Sirius asked as Remus dressed.

“Who were you with?” Remus asked quietly. “Yesterday, before you came here?”

“What?” Although Sirius had still intended to tell Remus about Marcus, he had no idea how he had already known.

“I can smell him on your robes,” Remus explained. “I thought I could yesterday, when we were going down to the basement, but I wasn’t sure. Moony was though. I don’t remember much about last night, but I do remember smelling him.”

“Can you smell him now?” Sirius asked.

Remus nodded. “My senses aren’t heightened most of the time, and not that much when they are, but for the couple of hours before and after the full moon…”

“Oh.”

“Sorry about your robes,” Remus said.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Who was he then?”

“Just someone at the Malfoys’ barbecue.”

“I can smell him all over you,” Remus whispered. “Especially when we’re this close.”

“We didn’t have sex,” Sirius whispered, conscious of the others who were waiting for them upstairs. “Just… you know…”

Remus shrugged and looked away. “It doesn’t matter, just…”

“What?” Sirius prompted.

Remus groaned and moved towards the foot of the stairs. He looked up and saw that no one was in sight. Sirius followed after him. “What?” he asked again.

“Could you duck into the bathroom and have a quick shower?” Remus whispered. “I don’t think I can stand the scent of another bloke on you right now. It makes me…”

“What does it make you?” Sirius whispered.

Remus turned to him, his eyes flashing with emotion. “It makes me want to slam you down on the floor and claim what’s mine!” he hissed. “My brother and my girlfriend are just up those stairs, but that’s all I can think of doing.”

Sirius watched as Remus hurried up the stairs. He grinned to himself briefly and followed at a slower pace. Remus was jealous, and he was overjoyed at that fact. Of course, his own jealous nature returned as soon as he entered the kitchen, where Charlene was cooing over Remus like a mother hen. Still, he was sure it was only a matter of time.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius wasn’t sure how or when he planned on coming out to his father. It was one of those things he was putting off until the last possible minute, perhaps in the hopes that he could get away with never having to tell him at all. Perhaps he could tell him via a postcard sent from the other side of the world?

Of course, he hadn’t planned for the events on the day of his parents’ wedding anniversary.

When Remus had arrived at Grimmauld Place for the final week of the holidays, Sirius hadn’t really expected them to be getting up to anything that his parents would disapprove of. The full moon had passed, and Remus was still firmly in denial about his feelings. It therefore came as something of a surprise when Remus crawled into his bed and tugged him free of his pyjamas on the first night after his arrival.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Remus said as he rained kisses on Sirius’s chest. “Moony’s been so restless since the full moon.”

“Moony?” Sirius asked quietly. “Haven’t you missed me?”

“Of course I have,” Remus assured him. “But not like this. Only Moony wants you like this. He missed not having you at the last full moon.”

Sirius sighed and said nothing further, merely giving himself over to the pleasure that he felt in Remus’s touch.

Hot summer nights in bed were safe from prying eyes. The Gryffindor memorabilia in his room, combined with barely concealed contempt for Sirius’s choice of friends, was enough to keep his parents at bay. Stolen kisses in the hallways were a little more risky, as were the quick fumbles in the laundry room, especially when Orion was in the house. The longer they got away with it, the less Sirius worried about the prying eyes of his father. The week was slipping away far too quickly and the party his parents were throwing at the end of the summer provided even more danger of discovery for the two young men.

As careless as they were being, it was really only a matter of time before they were caught. They were avoiding the rest of the party, and were firmly ensconced in the cloakroom they had chosen for their latest tryst when Orion burst into the dark room. In the brief period of light, Sirius saw that his father had his arms wrapped round a woman who was definitely not Walburga, and he almost wished that they’d been seen kissing in the hallway earlier that morning. Anything was better than his father stumbling across him whilst he was in the process of performing fellatio on Remus.

Sirius stilled his movements completely as the door closed behind Orion and the unknown woman. Too caught up in their own groping, his father had failed to spot the two young men amidst the furs at the back of the cloakroom.

Sirius couldn’t remember a time when he’d been in a worse situation. Hiding from Filch had been nothing like as bad as this.

Orion pushed the woman up against the wall of the room and Sirius closed his eyes, even though it was too dark to see much of anything at all.

Sirius wished he could close his ears as well as his eyes. From what they were saying, it was clear that this was no new thing between his father and the woman.

Finally, they were done, and Sirius prayed that they’d leave the room soon, but it seemed that luck was not on his side at all.

“Can you give us some light in here?” the woman asked breathlessly. “I can’t find the sash to my robes.”

Sirius opened his eyes as the light from Orion’s wand lit the room.

“Here it is,” he said, as he passed it to her. A second later his eyes met Sirius’s with pure horror.

Sirius wondered briefly what was horrifying his father more, the fact he’d been caught with his own robes off, or the fact that his son was kneeling on the floor with his mouth wrapped around another young man’s cock.

“My study, now!” Orion spat, turning to leave the cloakroom.

The woman, who’d stayed quiet from the moment they had been spotted, looked at Sirius and Remus curiously as they pulled away from each other and set their robes to rights.

“Got something to say?” Sirius snarled.

“Nothing at all,” the woman replied sweetly. Sirius could tell that his name would certainly be the subject of gossip amongst her friends and wished that the silencing spells he knew could be made permanent.

“Come on,” he said to Remus as the other young man tugged his robes back into place. “We’d better go face the music.”

Orion was pacing in his study when they entered the room. He slammed the door behind them with a wave of his wand and cast an imperturbable charm for good measure.

“WELL?” Orion roared at the top of his lungs. “Don’t you have ANYTHING to say for yourself?”

“What do you want me to say?” Sirius countered with a shrug. “I would think what you saw would be enough to answer your questions.”

“Insolence!” Orion shouted. “I’ve made allowances for you for so long. Kept you at your precious Hogwarts when your mother would have preferred you be transferred. Allowed your half-breed friends into my house, when other purebloods wouldn’t have let them in the door. Not pressed the issue of a bride, even after you came of age. And this is how you repay me!”

“Repay you?” echoed Sirius, ignoring that everything Orion had done had been firmly in the interests of Orion himself. “It’s got nothing to do with you.”

“Nothing to do with me? My son and heir is a bloody shirt-lifter, a cock-sucking queer, a freak, a flaming p-”

“I get the point!” Sirius interrupted, his own voice rising in temper. “I knew you’d be angry about it. That’s why I’ve not told you. Well, now you know. Deal with it!”

“How dare you?” Orion’s face turned white as he glared at Sirius. “And with that filthy half-blood, half-breed.”

Remus cringed at the insults. Long gone was the wizard who had welcomed him into his home the summer before.

“Like I said, deal with it,” Sirius snapped. “I love him, and I’m not going to stop just because you got yourself an eyeful of me with his cock in my mouth.”

“It’ll stop when your mother hears about this,” Orion pointed out, his voice dropping to a lower tone that was even more vicious than the shouting.

Sirius laughed harshly. “You’re not going to tell her.”

“What makes you so sure about that?”

Sirius laughed again. “Because if you do, I’ll tell her what you were doing in the cloakroom.”

“Walburga is well aware that our marriage is one of convenience only.”

“But does she know you’re shagging other women under this very roof?” Sirius countered.

“You wouldn’t?” Orion no longer sounded quite so sure of himself.

“You forget what you saw, I’ll forget what I saw,” Sirius said with a shrug. “Then no one has to be upset by anything.”

“You think I can just forget that my heir is a shirt-lifter?”

“I’m not going to change, and I’m not going to marry any of those pureblood ninnies you and Mother keep sending in my direction.”

Orion was quiet for a long time, until finally he seemed to reach a decision. “A compromise,” he offered. “You marry one of the girls, or a pureblood from a good family of your own choosing, and produce an heir to continue the line. Do that and I’ll say nothing about your werewolf lover here.”

“That’s hardly a compromise,” Sirius pointed out calmly. “That’s blackmail.”

“Then how about this?” Orion asked as he pointed his wand at Remus. “Crucio!”

“NO!” Sirius screamed as Remus fell to the floor with his own cry of pain.

“Agree to my terms and I won’t touch him again.”

Sirius knelt by Remus and pulled him into a sitting position. “Don’t do it, Sirius,” Remus whispered. “I go through worse every month.”

“Oh, Remus,” Sirius murmured as he pulled him into his arms. “I’m supposed to be the one to protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting,” Remus argued. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“Stand back from the werewolf,” Orion ordered as he pointed his wand at Remus again.

“Leave him alone,” Sirius snarled as he helped Remus onto the sofa and sat down beside him.

“You will produce an heir,” Orion demanded. “With your brother being a squib, it is your duty to marry and continue the line.”

“Or what? You’ll what? Disinherit me? Go ahead, I don’t want your money!”

“I’ll castrate your bloody werewolf if I have to,” Orion announced, pointing his wand lower.

Sirius stood up, stepped in front of Remus and glared at his father. “You won’t touch him,” he stated coldly. “Come on, Remus.” He reached his hand behind him and felt Remus entwine his fingers with his own.

“How can you stand to touch it?” Orion sneered. “Filthy, disgusting half-breed.”

Sirius looked at his father and then turned back to Remus. He reached his free hand up to brush against Remus’s face. “Because I love him,” he stated simply before kissing him soundly on the lips.

From the corner of his eye he saw his father recoil in horror and he felt a wicked impulse to shock him even further. He deepened the kiss and pushed Remus back onto the sofa. He could hear his father’s breathing becoming more ragged as he ground his hips into Remus’s.

He pulled back and looked at his father. “Why does this bother you so much?” he asked. “You know what they say about men who are really homophobic, don’t you? That maybe they protest so much because they secretly like the idea.”

“You filthy little sodomite!” Orion roared before he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

“Are you crazy?” Remus asked as Sirius sat back up and leaned back against the sofa.

“We both know that my mother already knows about us,” Sirius assured him. “Even if Father wasn’t more scared of her temper than me and Reg put together. Anyway, are you sure you’re okay?”

“It didn’t last long enough to do much more than scare me,” Remus said. “The pain of the transformation is worse than that.”

“That’s because you only had a few seconds of it,” Sirius pointed out.

“Yeah, and let’s keep it that way,” Remus replied.

“I’m sorry my family are all a bunch of raving nutters,” Sirius apologised, and he pulled Remus into a close hug, dropping a soft kiss on the top of his head.

“At least your family don’t want you dead.”

“I don’t know about that. My father looked like he might be open to the idea of offing me.”

“Don’t you wish that we were normal?” Remus asked as he stared into the fire. “I’m a werewolf and you fancy blokes. Don’t you ever wish you didn’t?”

“No,” Sirius replied honestly. “I love you and if I was normal I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”