Memoirs of a Serpent's Son

Memoirs of a Serpent’s Son

--Age 17—part 22

December 2

Morning came much quicker than I would have anticipated and would have liked. And the wake-up wasn’t quite what I was hoping for either, to say the least.

My slumber was suddenly punctuated by a sharp pain in my back and my lungs threatening to collapse on themselves from the lack of air getting to them. I choked hoarsely on the lack of air and my eyes snapped open.

Harry was clutching me tightly. So tightly, in fact, that his fingernails were tearing into the flesh along my spinal column and pressing my chest and stomach against him with such a force that I couldn’t inhale.

But he was still fast asleep.

I let out inaudible gasps of pain and panic as I tried to push him away enough to let myself breathe. Every time I pried part of him off of me enough to get a breath in, however, he snapped his limbs back around me, the strength of the grip having increased tenfold. And then he was muttering something.

“No… no can’t… can’t let go… can’t, can’t!” he was whimpering through his subconscious actions. His breath was unsteady as he clutched onto me for dear life, meanwhile threatening to take mine.

Finally, when I couldn’t stand it anymore and started to see black spots behind my vision, I pushed him off long enough to get a deep breath.

“Potter wake up! Get off me, wake up!” I tried to yell though it ended up being more like loud speaking than anything else. “Potter!... Harry I can’t breathe!”

His eyes snapped open at that. He blinked through the haze of his sleep and his mild-blindness before inhaling in shock and releasing his grip on me. I fell back, away from him breathing raggedly as I tried to catch my breath fully.

“Draco!” he cried as it all happened. He leaned over immediately to see if I was alright, his eyes wide and full of fear. “Are you alright??”

“Well that wasn’t my ideal wake-up call,” I sneered with a grimace. “But yes, I’m doing marvelously well. How did YOU sleep?”

Harry frowned at me and placed a hand on my chest as he tried to sit up. He pulled a face and groaned loudly as he came to sit straight and then quickly decided that sitting up was not a good idea, allowing himself to fall back onto the mattress.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I had a nightmare, I guess…”

“You guess??” I snapped, wide-eyed and amazed. “I’m going to have SCARS on my back from the way you were holding me! If that wasn’t a nightmare, then I do NOT want to be in bed with you when you do have one.”

He looked over at me and flashed me a strange smirk, bringing his hand up to his forehead to brush his hair from his face.

“Scars aren’t so bad,” he whispered. I opened my mouth to retort but then realized that he was probably commenting on one of his own insecurities and left the subject untouched.

Instead, I concentrated on calming myself down and moving past the initial and unpleasant shock of the morning. After all… after last night, I’d like to think we’ve moved to a new level of… something.

Oh, sod it. I’m not good at this kind of shite.

Let’s just pretend I am.

I bit my lip and turned onto my side to face him. I hadn’t wanted to lose the closeness that abruptly, but in life or death situations, I suppose there isn’t much choice…

“What were you dreaming?” I asked hesitantly. Then, as if remembering that he did indeed don glasses occasionally, I quickly turned over to pick up his glasses and handed them back to him. He smiled as he put them on.

“I… I was dreaming about…” he started, unsure. He looked at me and turned as well so that we were pressed up against one another again. It was then I realized that we were both still somewhat sticky from last night. It would have greatly displeased me under normal circumstances, were it not for the fact that it simply gave weight to the reality. “I dreamt about fighting Voldemort… and everyone was getting killed… and then you…”

He trailed off and left the rest unsaid, but I didn’t need to hear it. There were only so many things that could logically follow those words and fit the scene he so vividly acted out for my benefit.

“It… it was just a dream, Harry,” I whispered, knowing full-well that I wasn’t being very reassuring. I knew this because I’ve faced so many terrifying and painful dreams and knowing that they were “just dreams” has never made me feel any better about them. They are the kinds of things that just burrow beneath your skin and stir up parts of your soul that you never knew existed until you have to explode or just release and scream to get it out of your system…

“I know,” he answered back. He looked off into the ceiling but seemed as though he was staring straight through it. “It’s just… all of my friends and the only people I’ve ever known as family… just dying like that… and me being helpless to stop it… It’s so frustrating… it’s…more than I can even handle.”

I licked my lips and followed his gaze. I know what it’s like to feel helpless and a failure. I know that feeling all-too well, in fact. But I’ve never had a great number of people surrounding me that actually cared deeply enough for me to die for me. My mother… well I suppose that could count as ‘dying for me’… but my father died for his master… and any friend I have ever had is either not really a friend at all or else is dead and gone as well for very different reasons.

“Well, you aren’t helpless to stop it,” I reasoned carefully. “I mean… you’ve already taught your friends a lot of useful defense tactics in your little “Dark Arts defense league”, haven’t you? “Dumbledore’s Army”, or whatnot.”

He turned to me very suddenly and gave me a piercing stare that I couldn’t decipher.

“You were one of the root causes of my failure there,” he said with a hint of disdain. I didn’t flinch. “I taught them some things… but not as much as I would have liked. Cho’s death is proof that it wasn’t enough.”

I rolled my eyes though not openly enough for him to notice.

“Her death doesn’t prove your inadequacies,” I drawled. “Her death simply proves Voldemort’s madness and heartlessness. He unleashed two species of creatures that are virtually uncontrollable to wizards, and what’s worse is that they can think and act for themselves and there is little that can defend against them.”

“Well Cho knew how to use the Patronus charm,” he countered. “I taught them that in one of the first meetings… they never did get to use it against a real Dementor, mind you…”

“Well she was already ahead of me, in that respect,” I muttered almost unconsciously. His attention snapped back to me and he stared at me for a long while. I tried not to look at him because I could feel the flush come over my cheeks.

“You don’t know how to use the Patronus charm?” Harry asked, finally.

“No, if you don’t recall,” I sneered, looking away. “I was not granted the honour of joining your precious little army.”

He was silent for a while. For a long while and I finally looked back at him. His eyes were soft and thoughtful.

“Draco… what do you fear most?” he inquired, finally. I was taken aback by the sudden rather random question but honestly, had to stop and think about it.

What DO I fear most?

Once I might have said my father… but he is dead now and I can’t honestly admit that it was fear I felt towards him. Many emotions are harbored in my heart for that man but fear is not among them.

Neither is love, mind you.

I might have said Werewolves… they honestly have always frightened me. I didn’t like the idea of a man becoming a beast and losing his mind, tearing and turning everyone he might find.

But then I met Lupin… no… then I got to KNOW Lupin… and I’m not quite so scared, anymore.

Once… I may have said Voldemort scared me. I would have said it, I’m sure, last year. I would have said that He and His Death-Eaters scared me beyond explanation. And they did. They really did.

Up until that night in the tower. That night with Dumbledore when everything changed. That was when I realized that I don’t fear Voldemort because the worst he can offer me is death and that doesn’t scare me anymore either. I’ve come to accept that I’ll most likely die by the end of this, if not sooner… And at least now I can say I’ve known the one thing I’ve ever wanted to.

To be close to Harry Potter…

So what am I afraid of?

And that’s when my mind flitted back to Chang. She and Pansy both died during the same attack but if I had to chose a way to go, it would have been Pansy’s fate. Nothing, NOTHING is worse, in my mind, than having your soul ripped out of you by a creature that thrives off of misery.

That is worse than death, to me. I’d still be alive but I would have no feeling, no real conscious thought. Just a working mind trapped inside a perpetually rotting body while I have to sit and watch the people around me suffer for and because of me.

I thought of the Dementors more. I thought of that day on the train in third year… how I felt every moment of the torture that my father had dished out again… relived the whole experience in some kind of sickening echo and felt, for the first time in my life, as though I would prefer death to facing that again.

Nothing about those creatures passed through my mind without an elicited shudder or flinch.

And what frightened me most about the whole idea was that, without a soul, I would have to sit back and watch as Harry moved on with his life, finding love and comfort inside someone else instead… finding happiness without me.

I was afraid of having to live without him and be taunted by the image of him with someone else while I was helpless to act against it.

“I… I guess… Dementors,” I said quietly and unsure. I honestly couldn’t think of anything that disturbed me more than those creatures. His eyes were wider than usual, and though he looked as though he had been expecting me to say that, he seemed mildly surprised nonetheless.

“If you’re afraid of Dementors then why did you bother me so much about them in third year?” he pushed, his brows furrowed and drawing his face into a playful pout.

“What can I say? I’m good at hiding things,” I answered mischievously. He puckered his lip and I angled my head in to kiss him softly before he could pull away. “Besides, why do you need to know?”

He smirked.

“So I can teach you how to cast a Patronus,” he explained matter-of-factly. “Now all I need is a Boggart.”

……………………………

Sly little blighter. Smarter than he looks sometimes.

“How did you think of that?” I asked him in some slight awe. He leaned his head back into the pillow and let his dark lock dust over his eyes and nose.

“Remus taught me in third year, using a Boggart in a chest,” he admitted. Ok. Maybe not so clever on his own. “They are my worst fear too… Dementors.”

That reassured me in some way… I don’t know why, but sharing such little things like that with Harry made me feel closer to him than anyone can imagine. The sad part was that many of the things we shared only between us were tragic things… fears… parents’ deaths…

Harry brought his hand up to my face and ran his fingers through my disheveled hair, pushing it away from my eyes. Then he made a strange face.

“What?” I asked, confused. He huffed.

“I always kind of hoped your hair was greasy,” he admitted with a soft chuckle. “It made it easier to hate you, in my head, if you were unattractive and unpleasant.”

I snorted and burst into laughter. Hahahahahahaha. ME. Unattractive?

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

“It’s not that bloody funny,” he sniffed, rolling his eyes.

“Well, you must have had your work cut out for you, trying to make me ugly,” I snickered. He didn’t answer, but shoved me with his elbow and tried to get out of bed, shaking his head.

“Argh,” Harry groaned as he came to a sitting position again. He got to his feet quickly and grimaced curling his toes under his feet as he tried to find a comfortable way to stand. “You bloody prat.”

I was still snickering from before.

“What have I done?” I asked through my laughter. He glared at me.

“My arse hurts!” His face was so serious as he said it that I couldn’t help it.

I doubled over in stitches, trying to stop calm down enough to answer him. I felt a pillow hit me over the head.

“Hey, I told you I couldn’t promise anything,” I sneered, still snickering darkly. I honestly hadn’t intended to hurt him, but the whole situation was just too amusing.

“Bloody ponce,” he shot, his face turning red as he searched around for his boxers. That just made me laugh harder.

“If I’m a ponce, what does that make you??” He did not appreciate the remark.

“Just shut up and help me find my trousers, will you?” His voice was as stern as he could make it, which wasn’t very much at all under the circumstances. I tried to calm down a bit and got to my feet, picking up my discarded clothing and redressing myself in whatever I could find that was clean. It was mildly unpleasant, as I still needed a shower and had very few clothes at all.

“Here,” I told him, handing him his slacks with a smirk on my face. I much preferred to see him wearing nothing at all, but that wouldn’t do for the day, I imagine.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, turning red when he noticed me watching him. “I need a shower.”

“So do I,” I admitted, giving myself a disgruntled look. He flushed darker red.

“You go first.”

“That bad, am I?” I sneered, moving towards the door.

“No, I just…” He frowned. “I just don’t think we should go together.”

I raised my eyebrows and snickered again. I reached for the door handle to leave, but it was locked.

Funny… I don’t remember doing that.

Just for good measure, I pressed my ear to the door and heard absolutely nothing…

Don’t remember doing that either.

I turned back to Harry.

“When did you lock and silence the room?” I asked incredulously. His face was still red.

“Once we… er started towards the bed,” he explained.

“Wandlessly?” I stared. He nodded.

How is that possible? How can he be so bloody daft sometimes and absolutely useless at Occlumency and Legilimency but somehow manage a wandless spell without so much as saying a word?? Hell, I didn’t even NOTICE.

“I don’t really know how I managed…” he conceded. “I was rather distracted…”

I gaped for a moment before catching myself and shutting my mouth.

“I… I’m going to remove the spells now,” I told him for lack of better things to say.

Then I went to shower…

I still don’t understand. I mean… in retrospect, it was a rather good move, considering that without the silencing spell everyone in the house would have heard even the faintest details of our night together. And… since most of them likely would never suspect we were doing enjoyable things to one another, they’d likely come rushing in to save Harry from the evil traitorous Slytherin had it not been for the lock.

But… then… they must have heard our fight… right? I was screaming and he was screaming and… we were fighting.

…why didn’t they react to that?

Unless of course only Granger and Weasel were still in the house and doing… THINGS with each other. In which case Voldemort himself could have attacked and they wouldn’t have been aware.

Neither would I at that point, mind you…

I finally got out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror. I fixed my hair and scrutinized my body. The bandage on my arm was still tightly in place… I never remove it. I looked at my back and there were, in fact, light scars down my spinal column from where Harry was gripping me this morning… but I didn’t mind.

He’s right… scars aren’t so bad.

Once I got downstairs to get some breakfast, Harry bolted from the room to take his own shower and I was left standing next to Granger, Weasel and Lupin –who looked absolutely terrible.

There were dark circles around his eyes and his skin was sallow and there were some fresh but thin wounds on his face and arms. He reminded me a lot of what I had looked like during sixth year. He smiled warmly at me as I came in but Harry’s friends both gave me dark looks.

“Good morning,” I said anyway, with as little sneer in my tone as was manageable. It was hard.

“What the hell were you two fighting about last night?” Weasel, being the subtle one that he is, burst out as soon as I tried to sit down. I froze momentarily. Apparently they HAD heard… some things.

“What’s it to you?” I snapped more forcefully than I had intended.

“He’s MY best mate!” he threw back. “Tell me what your row was about!”

“Not likely,” I drawled, rolling my eyes. That violent temper never intimidated me in the past and wasn’t going to start now. “Whatever might have happened is between he and I. Not your business, Weaselby.”

“You filthy –” but he was cut off.

“Ron, please,” Lupin asked quietly. “Draco has a right to some kind of privacy as much as you do. He has done a lot for Harry and the Order and we have no reason not to trust him anymore. What happens behind closed doors is his and Harry’s business, alone, unless they wish to share it with you. I’m sure you’d ask the same of him in a reverse circumstance.”

Lupin sipped his tea.

I honestly love this man. In a very different way than Harry… but still.

Then the most unexpected thing happened.

“Remus is right, Ron,” Granger piped in. She glanced at me briefly but didn’t linger long. “Malfoy deserves a little respect on our parts. He’s been respectful to us… well moreso than usual, anyway. We owe him civility at least.”

That was the first time that both Weasel and I had the same expression on our faces.

Harry returned, suddenly, dripping wet. His clothes were speckled with drops of water from his hair as he moved towards a chair but then thought better of it.

“Harry,” Lupin greeted warmly. “Come sit with us. You didn’t eat before, have some toast.”

Harry eyed the chair distrustfully. It was wood and the seat did not look comfortable to him, I imagine. He grimaced.

“I don’t feel like sitting,” he answered simply before taking the toast. Weasel gave him a strange look but no one else made any sign that this might be odd behaviour.

After a while of eating in an uncomfortable silence that only Lupin seemed to ignore, Tonks and Shacklebolt walked in, looking unkempt and haggard.

“What happened?” Lupin asked immediately, concerned.

“We’ve just returned from the Ministry,” Tonks answered, brushing a hand through her hair and taking the seat that Harry had refused. “There have been more attacks. Ministry wizards this time. Magical Law Enforcement and the Department of Mysteries… people are vanishing faster than we can count them.”

“The Department of Mysteries has been closed entirely and indefinitely,” Shacklebolt explained, pouring himself some tea. I stood up and offered him my chair. He nodded in thanks and dropped down beside Tonks. “They said they couldn’t risk letting any information leak from there…at least not more than they’ve already lost.”

We all looked at one another uncomfortably.

“Moody’s been going mad,” Tonks continued. “Well, more than usual. He managed to catch a Death-Eater, but all the others that have been sighted have escaped. We hardly have anything to work with over there.”

“Scrimgeour is a mess,” Shacklebolt added, as though this clinched the idea.

I felt an uneasiness in my stomach.

“Who did they catch?” I asked hesitantly.

“Rudolphus Lestrange,” Tonks spat as though it was something unpleasant in her mouth. I frowned as well. Perhaps Aunt Bella had something to do with her own husband’s capture as well.

“Have they gotten anything out of him?” Harry asked, moving closer to the group and leaning on one of the chairs. Tonks shook her head.

“Nothing,” she admitted, defeated. “We’ve nothing to threaten them with anymore. We can’t just threaten to execute them and we haven’t got the Dementors on our side anymore to threaten a Kiss… We’ve got nothing.”

“What about Veritaserum?” I suggested. “Can’t they use that on Rudolphus?”

“We could but we need to brew it first,” Shacklebolt explained. “There have been so many arrests and interrogations that have led nowhere that we’re running low on absolutely everything. Even with the added help of witches and wizards from the Ministries in other countries, and the support they are offering us, we’re at our wit’s end.”

“He’s just increasing His numbers and attacks too quickly,” Tonks sighed.

We were all quiet for a moment before Harry interrupted.

“We don’t have much time,” he said quietly. “We need to find the last unknown Horcrux and destroy it. Then we only have Nagini and Voldemort to worry about… we have to act quickly.”

“Speaking of which,” Tonks perked up. “Are you going to explain that all to us now?”

Harry looked to me and then his friends before nodding. He turned and closed any surrounding doors and cast both locking and silencing charms, as well as alarms in case anyone came near. Apparently, he’s learned his lesson from the last time.

Then he explained the whole situation again… everything I’ve been told and everything new we’ve discovered. Each of them asked similar questions to the ones we’ve already faced and they each reacted in much a similar way.

But this was new… There were only three pieces of Voldemort’s soul left and he cannot create any more of them.

“That explains a lot,” Lupin said finally, looking as though the simple conversation had aged him another year or two. “And you’ve already done all this on your own?”

“Dumbledore destroyed the ring and identified the locket,” Harry admitted. “He also gave me all the information he could about them… but Draco had the locket and destroyed it. I destroyed the Diary and Pettigrew destroyed the Shield…”

Then something hit Lupin. We hadn’t explained everything about Gryffindor’s Shield to him and our theory that Voldemort used James’ death to make it…

“You said that Voldemort used meaningful murders to make his Horcruxes…” he began slowly. “And the shield was made in your parents’ house…”

Harry glanced at me.

“Yes,” he replied simply but sadly.

“He used James’ murder,” Lupin whispered. “And Peter destroyed it… Where is he now?”

“He’s there…” I explained. “Destroying the Horcrux killed him. We left his body at the house.”

“And you transfigured him to look like Harry,” he finished for me. I gave him an incredulous look. “An article in the Prophet today said there was an unidentified body found in Godric’s Hollow under a Dark Mark. It also said it looked suspiciously like Harry but that they have no proof yet. The wizarding world must be in an uproar of panic but I suppose you did it to try and throw Voldemort off your trail.”

We all nodded at once. He smiled sadly.

“Very clever,” he admitted. We were all silent for a moment as the smile wavered on his lips as his eyes became distant and glassy. “So Peter is dead…” he gave a soft and mirthless laugh. “The Marauders have dwindled and only Moony remains.” He looked down at the table. “Funny, I thought I’d be the first to go.”

He got up from the table and walked to the door, before stopping and turning back to us.

“You have all done very well,” he encouraged. “You’ve been burdened with an unfair load, though you all bear it without question or doubt. I will do everything in my power to find out what I can for you. I don’t think there is much else we can do before the holidays, though. Perhaps you should consider training with one another.”

“Oh yeah,” Harryr muttered before looking up to Lupin. “Remus, I wonder… if you can find me a Boggart… to use for training, I mean.”

He smiled and nodded.

“I’m sure there is one somewhere in this house,” he said quietly. Something about the sad smile on his face made a torrent of sadness rage inside of me.

I didn’t think I’d ever feel so compassionate… not with Lupin. Not with anyone. But something about this werewolf… and his entire being… it just hits me hard somewhere inside.

Tonks and Shacklebolt nodded to us and left to get back to the Ministry but Lupin lingered in the doorway a moment longer, surveying the four of us carefully and with a mild amusement on his mourning features.

“What is it, Remus?” Harry asked him.

“There is a new generation of Marauders. May the title serve you better than it did us.”

-------IIIIIII-------

A/N: Ok, little strange ending there. Got all choked up while I was writing it because I love Sirius and Remus so much. The Marauders always gave me tingles when I read about them. Anyway, so some sappy sadness with a bit of humour (if you can call it that) at the beginning. Lighter chapter though it’s longer. Needed to get some things out of the way, more action-ish-stuff coming soon. Hopefully next chapter.

I hope the chapter answered some of your questions and for those that didn’t:

Snarry-lover: As both Draco and Harry are terribly inexperienced at this, he didn’t have anything remotely like lube laying around, or any useful spells, and because it was angry and desperate kind of sex I wanted it to be painful. I didn’t write that Harry tore or anything, but trust me, it was much more painful for him than Draco was aware. Little bits of how much it hurt are in this chapter, but the idea was that his frame of mind at the time didn’t give a damn hahaha Lol Sadly I know spit isn’t good enough *sob* I need to find him some proper lube for next time hahaha ^_^

smokey: hahahaha Harry has MAGIC glasses! Lol Yes, removing them AFTER the sex was definitely the best plan there, but it wasn’t like they were thinking rationally lol, I’m glad you enjoyed it! ^.^

ehcie-utada: It WAS like Brokeback Mountain! Kinda lol I didn’t realize it but now that you mention it it does remind me of that in a way XD I’m also a huge fan of the angry-fighting-sex-scenes so I had to start it this way… lol I’m glad you enjoyed it though and hopefully they did too! I’m also really excited about this surprise you have for me! Ahh I’m all jittery now wondering what it might be! X_X

Night the Storyteller: Ah yes, you find out about the Weasley clan in (hopefully) the next chapter, but Luna and Neville will come in a little later. Right now they are all at Hogwarts (even though it’s not so safe anymore). I will also hopefully be able to incorporate Hagrid and McGonagal… maybe even some others I’m missing! McGonagal is currently Headmistress at Hogwarts to replace Dumbledore, so that’s what she’s up to :)

Masha: of course you can translate it! Wow, no one has ever asked me something like that before! It’s crazy! I feel so honoured hehehe I hope you don’t have a hard time with it as it’s so damn long lol <3

Ryko: Your comment made me laugh so hard! I do that too actually when I’m reading a fanfic or get an update I’m really excited for, I’m so glad you enjoy it!

Claire2007: I’m sorry you had a bad day :( but I am indeed very happy that this helped to cheer you up! ^_^ I promise that won’t be the last time they shag, lol, I don’t think I could do that to myself even O_O I don’t have that much self-control lol

eLeMeNOhPee: Ah sorry it had to stop there for you X_X I know it seems crazy that it’s not done yet but I’m so happy you are making an exception! I post every day (unless something big gets in the way) so hopefully that will be fast enough! :)

Love you all for all the reviews and kind words! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and cookies and worship to all!