A Song for Severus ~ (Not Update, but Edit)

Chapter 51 ~ More Discussion

Hermione didn’t get much work done in her labs because she put off experimenting with the Dark pixies waiting for Severus to visit her, so he could see how far along she’d gotten with the project. But the wizard never came.

Hermione actually went to lunch and supper in the hopes of seeing him, but he didn’t attend either meal. Albus was present at both so Severus wasn’t with him. Where was he? Hermione felt a little miffed that after last night he didn’t come see her at all. She felt a bit, well…used. She had never felt used by the Potions Master before…and it was rather unsettling. She left her labs early and Volaria could see she was in a bad mood.

“What’s wrong, Hermione?” the young witch asked, looking up from the second year book of Charms she was reading.

“Nothing,” Hermione said, plopping down in an armchair and looking into the fire.

She sat there for about an hour. It was all she could stand. She hadn’t gone to Severus’ rooms because she felt if he were there, she’d be furious. He couldn’t have been asleep all day because he was up and raring to go when she left that morning, barely escaping his still randy grasp. Was he angry she left? He didn’t seem to be. He was smirking at her lasciviously when she said she’d had enough and was leaving right this minute. Severus loved to make her run from him, so long as he got his fill first.

So why hadn’t he shown up?

She was going to damn well find out.

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Severus apparated outside the gate of Hogwarts, weaving slightly. Draco didn’t have any sober-up potion at the Manor and the Potions Master thought he could use the walk across the grounds to clear his head somewhat. But he was pretty lit. He did have enough presence of mind though to decide to use the private entrance to the dungeon corridor below his office rather than walk through the Main Hall. It was after eight, and most of his Slytherins would be in their house at this time, but it still wouldn’t do for them to see their Head of House shitfaced.

He unwarded the gates, walked through and got about thirty yards away before he realized he didn’t ward the gates back and had to return. After correcting his little error, he headed across the grounds.

Severus and Draco had a real heart to heart, and one thing that struck the wizard was that he had an idea of what happened with him that day in the lab, but he never asked Hermione how she had felt about it. They became lovers, yes…but their initial sex act was never mentioned between them again.

As the wizard told Draco, his passion for the witch just seemed to explode over him…but what was it like for Hermione? Why did she accept him? Something had to have been going on with the witch as well. Now, after all this time, Severus was curious to know what it was that made her want him. He was a bastard to her the entire time she worked with him.

“It makes no sense,” he muttered to himself as he half-weaved, half-walked toward the castle, “None at all.”

When he arrived at the vine-covered stone door, he pushed the vines aside a couple of times before he could get them all out of the way, pointed his wand at it and said, “Loahramora!”

Of course nothing happened.

Severus blinked at the door again.

“Moharalora,” he said, hiccupping a bit.

Still the door didn’t open. The Potions Master scowled at the uncooperative entryway.

“Fuck it. Reducto!” he breathed, blasting the locking mechanism off, pushing the door open, entering and shoving it closed behind him. He panted a bit…that door was heavy. Ah well. Filch could fix it later. No doubt the castle already summoned him.

The Professor walked up to the top of the niche and peered out, looking both ways to make sure no one was in the corridor. If he had been in a better state of mind, he would have disillusioned himself, but…all he was thinking about was getting to his rooms and his sober-up potion. He and Draco had finished the entire bottle of firewhiskey and he had left the blonde wizard asleep in the armchair, his head leaning back and his mouth wide open as he slept it off.

Seeing no one, he walked into the corridor and headed for his office. He stopped in front of the door and tried to open it by turning the knob. Of course it was warded.

“Blasted ward,” he growled, pulling out his wand and concentrating.

He didn’t see Hermione come out of her rooms, but she saw him and stopped, scowling with her hands on her hips.

She watched as Severus attempted to unward his office unsuccessfully, her eyes widening. What was wrong with him? He never had a problem getting into his office before. She began to walk toward him and when she was about ten feet away, she smelled the firewhiskey. The Potions Master smelled as if he had bathed in it.

“Severus! You’re…you’re drunk!” she said to the wizard, who turned toward her and gave her a rather smart salute, despite his condition.

“A brilliant deduction,” he said to her, then frowned, “Did you change my ward on my office?”

”No. Why would I do that?” she snapped at him, walking up, pulling her wand and unwarding the door easily.

“I need to get my wand checked then,” he muttered, opening the door and walking in.

“It’s not your wand that needs checking,” Hermione said, following him. She had never seen Severus drunk before and watched as he unsteadily managed to get his wall open. Severus stopped as what she said registered, and he looked at her with a leer.

“Maybe my wand does need checking,” he growled at her, his black, rather blood-shot eyes sweeping over her.

“Severus, you can hardly walk much less fuck. Go into your rooms,” she said, pushing at him. Severus allowed her to force him through the door and into the study. He waited for the wall to close then made a grab for her.

Hermione danced out of the way.

“Why are you drunk?” she demanded, “And where have you been all day? I waited for you to come to my lab and see my progress.”

“I…I went to comfort a friend,” Severus said thickly, “Draco Malfoy lost the woman he was involved with in an accident. Her name was Malina Pascal. They were secret lovers, much as we are and she was muggle-born…like you. I thought I could bring him some comfort.”

Hermione stared at him as she processed the name. She recognized it. Malina Pascal was the singer she had heard at the party at Grimauld Place the night Severus returned. She had sung that beautiful song. She read about her death in the Daily Prophet. She had no idea Draco was involved with her. He must have cared for her deeply to overlook the fact she was a muggle-born. She would have never believed the wizard capable of that kind of love. Apparently, she was mistaken.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said softly, “Poor Draco.”

Severus nodded.

“Yes. He is quite broken-hearted…but I think with time he will be all right,” Severus said, sitting down in the armchair rather than going directly to his bathroom and retrieving the sober-up potion, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was leaving, but once Albus told me his situation I went there directly after picking up a bottle of firewhiskey, intending to drown his sorrows.”

Hermione sat down in the armchair next to him.

“From here it looks as if you both went under,” she said with a little smile.

“Actually, our time together was quite, therapeutic. For the first time I was able to talk about you with another wizard,” he said thickly, his black eyes resting on her.

Hermione sat up straight.

“You told Draco about us?” she asked him incredulously.

Severus nodded.

“Yes. It was the only way I could get through to him, letting him know I was also in a secret relationship with a muggle-born witch. It made our discussion more meaningful. We could understand each other’s…feelings,” the wizard said with an effort.

Talking about feelings wasn’t Severus’ forte, though he could do it quite eloquently when he had to.

“What…what did you talk about?” Hermione asked, “How did he react?”

”He was shocked of course. He wanted to know how we became involved. You were such a ‘show-off know-it-all,” Severus said with a smirk as Hermione reddened, “In turn he told me how he and Malina became lovers. You two shared quite a few traits.”

“How much did you tell him?” Hermione asked, her face burning as she imagined the kind of detail two men would go into concerning the women they were fucking. Gods, she hoped Severus hadn’t told him about her masochism. That was no one’s business but theirs.

“I told him about our first encounter,” Severus said.

“Oh Severus…you didn’t,” Hermione said, her eyes glistening, “Oh gods…he must think I’m some kind of slut or something.”

Severus sat up and scowled at her.

“What do you mean, ‘slut?’” he snarled at her angrily, “You were a virgin, Hermione. Virgins are not sluts simply by virtue of being virgins. Plus, you’ve remained with me since that time. You are certainly no slut…and if anyone dare imply that you are I’ll…”

Hermione stared at the wizard. He was furious she said such a thing, his hands gripping the arms of the chair so tightly his knuckles were white.

“Calm down, Severus,” she said softly, “Breathe.”

Severus looked at her and calmed as she asked, but his eyes held a question.

“Hermione, why did you let me take you in the labs? Why didn’t you stop me?” he asked her.

Hermione looked at him.

“I told you. I was going to lose my virginity one day and I was glad to have it happen with someone I respected and admired,” she replied.

Severus studied her.

“Hermione…most untouched women have dreams of falling in love, finding the right wizard who comes and sweeps them off their feet, then carries them off to the world of ‘Happily Ever After,’” he said, feeling himself sobering somewhat. Just a bit, however.

Hermione gave him a smile.

“I’m too logical for that Professor. I knew my first time would more than likely be an act of passion, or physical attraction, rather than love. I wasn’t ready to fall in love. I was still in school and had things I wanted to do before my heart became a wizard’s prisoner. I wasn’t looking for love, and I really don’t believe in Prince Charming either,” she said softly, “I was attracted to you. I had a crush on you from early in my seventh year.”

Severus arched an eyebrow at her.

“Even then you were a masochist if that is the case. I treated you horribly,” he said quietly.

“You didn’t treat me any worse than you treated anyone else, Severus. What fascinated me about you is despite how cold you were, you risked your life for all of us…constantly. How could you really hate us if you were willing to die for us?” she said softly, “I’ve always thought you were the bravest, most selfless wizard I know. You are a true hero, Severus Snape. And you still serve the Greater Good at the risk of your own life.”

Severus fell silent. This is what she thought of him all these years?

“In the lab, when you were yelling at me about exploding the cauldron, I wasn’t thinking about your words, but how you were holding me. You could have let me go…but you didn’t. The way you held me was protective and…and…I could see fear in your eyes more than anger. You were afraid for me. Afraid something could have happened to me. I could tell…I could tell you cared, Severus. And you were someone who never acted as if you cared for anything or anyone. Yes, I could have stopped you when you kissed me…but the truth was…I didn’t want to stop you. I wanted to feel you want me. Even if it was just for that moment,” Hermione said, her breathing quickening.

“I wasn’t afraid. Your kiss, the way you touched me, pulled me against you…I could feel your need and my own need. I remember thinking, ‘yes…let it be him,’ I knew it was right because I didn’t want you to stop touching me…the more intimate your caresses became, the more I wanted them. I felt as if I had been immersed in fire. I had no words to stop you Severus, because I didn’t want you to stop. Even when you broke my maidenhead so roughly, it hurt…but it felt right, your eyes blazing down at me, hunger etched in your face…it was all for me. I was the person Severus Snape wanted most in the world at that moment, and I was probably one of the few that knew you intimately that way,” she said softly, “I don’t think that you did what you did to me often. I could tell you were swept away and so I was swept away as well.”

Severus felt himself getting an immense erection as Hermione described what she felt that first time in the lab, how she connected with him…wanted him as badly as he wanted her. Truthfully, he needed to hear this from the witch. He wasn’t absolutely sure he hadn’t forced himself on her and she just accepted it. Hearing that she wanted him that day finally took that unease away.

”Then, I knew you cared when you realized I was a virgin…you changed, became gentle, kind…tender. If you had stopped, I would have asked you to continue, Severus. It was a rocky start, but my first sexual experience was good. You were good.”

Severus blinked at her, still silent…still listening. The way Hermione sounded it seemed as if this were something she needed to get out as well.

“But I wasn’t naïve enough to think that one tryst meant anything had changed with you. I knew there would be no roses, or chocolates or anything like that. Most likely you would go back to being alone…it was a moment that was needed, a moment that was shared…but I knew you weren’t the kind of man to share himself for long. I was fine with that, and determined not to put any pressure on you. I had experienced you, a man I had admired and respected for years and I was satisfied with that. I had never seen you in a relationship. I didn’t think you would change simply because you shagged me,” Hermione said, her voice dropping.

“Then I began to notice you seemed angrier than ever. You became almost like a demon…I didn’t want to ask you anything when we worked together. Every word was like a knife, and it got worse and worse. I was starting to think I wouldn’t be able to complete my studies with you…and then…and then…you surprised me. You told me you couldn’t get me out of your head and that you wanted me. What touched me the most about it was, you were so unsure that it would work out…you didn’t think you had it in you to be what a witch needed for the long term. But I knew you did. Any man who worked as hard as you to bring peace and freedom to the wizarding world had the dedication necessary to maintain a relationship. You only needed to let yourself be happy. I was willing to try to build something with you…provided there were rules of course…the first being your treatment of me. No more insults and name-calling, wild raging and so forth…” she said with a smirk.

“Ah yes. The infamous rules of engagement you hit me with,” the wizard said, smirking himself, “The moment you knew you had me, you hoisted the hoops.”

”And you were willing to try to jump through them. That’s another way I knew something was possible between us,” she said.

Severus gave her a wicked smile.

“I knew the night you told me to fuck you until you cried,” he said, “And the gods know I did…my twisted little masochist.”

Hermione turned all kinds of colors when the wizard said this.

“You would use that as a jump-off for a relationship,” she snapped at him.

Severus grinned at her at first, then sobered.

“I’m a male, Hermione. Men give love for sex, unlike women who for the most part give sex for love. Your willingness to let me let loose on you affected me deeply. It was more than sex or submission however…it was trust. You trusted me fully. How could you not when you allow me to do to you whatever I wish in any manner I wish?” he asked her, his voice thickening with desire at the thought of it.

“Not all the time,” she said, looking at the pale wizard through half-lidded eyes. She was beginning to feel some heat as well. She hadn’t intended for this to happen. She came here to take him to task for ignoring her all day…and now…

Severus leaned forward.

“Maybe this time?” he asked her, his eyes glittering.

Hermione could see the tent in his robes. But gods…two nights in a row with him? The wizard had been quite ardent last night, and by the way he was looking at her she could tell that a few bottles of purple potion could be in order. Ah, that’s right…he was out of purple potion. Whew!

”Severus, you don’t have any purple potion,” she said to the wizard, who scowled.

Shit.

“I’ll be gentle,” he lied.

Hermione snorted in derision. Severus gentle? That was like a basilisk saying it would only take a peek. Oh he might start out that way, and there were nights he really was a tender lover, but the look in his eyes said ‘bang her ‘till she breaks.’ Hermione, even though she was aroused wasn’t up to it, particularly since she wouldn’t have any potion to give her relief.

“I don’t think so, Severus. I just wanted to know what happened to you today,” she said rising. Severus rose too.

“A kiss then,” he said, fully intending to seduce the witch. All he needed to do was get his mouth and hands on her.

“All right,” she said, Severus smirking at her, “But when I leave.”

Damn it!

It was clear to see the wizard wouldn’t be riding Hermione to bliss tonight. He sighed…then yawned.

Hermione smiled at him.

“Besides, you’re too tired,” she said to him.

“I’m never too tired for you, witch,” he retorted, shaking his head a bit. His eyelids were drooping.

Hermione walked to the wall and pulled on the torch. It opened and she walked through, Severus following. She opened the potions office door a crack, then pursed her lips. Severus moved in, intending on giving her the full Snape, but she drew back the moment his lips touched hers, turning what should have been a searing, tonsil-sucking kiss into a peck.

“Good night, Severus,” she said softly, smiling at his scowl.

“Goodnight, minx,” he said bad-temperedly.

Hermione chuckled and exited his office, Severus frowning after her, sticking his head out the door and watching as she unwarded her door and entered her rooms safely. He replaced the ward on his own door, considerably less drunk probably due to the loss of inebriated blood to his brain because of his erection.

The Potions Master returned to his study, then headed for his bedroom. He walked into the bathroom and finally retrieved the sober-up potion. The wizard drank it down, his head clearing. He quickly divestoed his clothing, took a long piss, then retired.

He lay there with his arms behind his head, looking up at the ceiling, thinking about what the witch told him. Now he knew how Hermione felt about him their first time.

And that was almost better than sex.

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A/N: Ah, another heart to heart. Now he knows how Hermione felt about him that first time. Thanks for reading.