Saving your life

“Thank you,” Hermione sighed, as soon as Harry and Ron were gone.

“One would think you would want to go with your friends,” Severus said.

“They will have questions.”

“Questions?”

“About us,” she replied, looking away.

“I see.”

“After what they saw this morning and now, they will want explanations,” she said, still not looking at him, feeling somewhat embarrassed.

“What will you say to them?”

“I don’t know,” she answered truthfully. She didn’t even know the explanation herself.

Well, that was not entirely true; she knew how she felt about Severus, even if she still tried to deny it, and she thought he cared for her too, in some way, or at least that was what had she felt, from the way he had behaved, how he had tried to protect her, how his fingers had caressed her cheek, caring, almost lovingly, but how would she ever explain that to her friends? She shook her head, trying to push those thoughts away, and then turned to him.

“I don’t know what I will say; I need some time to think, before facing them.”

She was glad he didn’t press, that he didn’t ask her any more questions, although she could see he had them; instead, he simply stepped closer to her and asked, “Can you stand?”

“You’re hurt,” she said, instead of answering his question, as her eyes fell on his shoulder.

“It’s nothing,” he said dismissively, waving his wand over the wound and instantly healing it.

“I really want to learn how to do that.”

“After your lesson today, I am not exactly inclined to teach you anything else.”

“That was not my fault,” she said, “I was doing all right until Ron distracted me.”

“You cannot let others distract you; you have to focus on what you are doing and nothing else. You could have been killed today.”

“He distracted you too,” she said, trying to hide the small smile that threatened to reach her lips.

“Can you stand?” he asked again, ignoring her comment.

“I’m not sure,” she said, moving both her hands to the floor for balance as she slowly turned and bent her legs, trying to get up. Although she didn’t feel any pain, she knew there was no way her legs would support her weight; if she managed to stand she would fall in a second, but still she tried and fell back hard before she had managed to even get on her knees.

“Don’t,” he said, holding up his hand and stepping closer to her as soon as he saw her fall. She watched him both surprised and confused as he swiftly kneeled by her side and slipped one of his arms under her knees and the other behind her back. “Hold on,” he told her, and she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck so she wouldn’t fall when he carefully stood up.

It was a strange feeling, holding on to him as he carried her towards the door. A part of her felt comfortable, feeling him so close, having an excuse to hold him, but the other part felt nervous; nervous for what he might expect from her, for not knowing if he felt the same way she did, or was simply helping her because it was the easiest way to get her out of there, seeing as her legs didn’t seem to want to work.

They finally reached the door and she tightened her hold around his neck when the arm around her back moved, feeling his breath against her ear as he muttered the words needed to lift the wards and get the door open. She wished she could stay like that forever, so close to him, feeling safe, but she moved back as soon as the door opened and he wrapped his arm around her waist again.

The door led to a set of stairs, and although she couldn’t see the steps clearly enough to count them, she could tell there were many.

“Maybe you should let me down, I think I can manage to walk by myself now,” she said, not wanting him to have to climb all the way up with her in his arms.

“If I let you down you will fall,” he replied, taking the first few steps.

“Well, you can’t go all the way up there carrying me, I’m too heavy.”

“Nonsense,” he muttered, tightening his arms around her as he continued up the stairs.

“Oh, such a strong wizard,” she mocked when he started walking a little faster, beginning to feel self-conscious and hoping her comment would make him put her down, but he simply turned to face her, an eyebrow raised as he looked at her, seemingly amused instead of annoyed at her comment. Still, he said nothing else and neither did she, until they reached the top of the stairs.

With a wave of his hand the lights turned on, and she looked around, instantly recognizing the place.

“We’re at your house?” she asked, as he walked down the hallway she knew led to his lab.

“It was the safest place to go,” he replied, moving his hand again to open the door. The room was completely dark and as he took a step inside she heard the sound of breaking glass and he froze in place, his body tense as he raised his wand in front of them, standing still for a few seconds, trying to hear any other strange sound.

After a moment he flicked his wand and lit the room, making her blink a few times as her eyes adjusted to the light.

“What in Merlin’s name has happened here?” he asked in a low voice as he took in his surroundings, his wand still held firmly in front of him. Before she could reply he had moved to the working table in the middle of the room and sat her next to one of his cauldrons before turning back around, a few rays of light erupting from his wand as he whispered spells she had never heard before. “Someone’s been here, but it was only one person, and they are gone now,” he muttered, moving to the door. “What could they have been…?”

“Severus,” she interrupted shyly, but he didn’t even turn to her, his eyes searching the shelves instead, trying to see what was missing. “Severus,” she repeated a little more firmly, and he finally looked at her. “That might have been me.”

“What?” he asked with a frown, stepping closer to her.

“Well, I came here looking for the potion you needed,” she muttered nervously as she looked down at the floor. “A few bottles might have fallen while I was looking for it.”

Now that she could take the time to observe the room she realized the damage she had caused was much bigger than she had thought at first. Dozens of broken vials and flasks lay on the floor, some of them clean and empty since she had vanished its fillings when they had fallen, but others still had their contents, the potions mixing together in small puddles all over the room, some of them giving off an awful smell, dark smoke floating over others.

“You did this?” he asked, his eyes resting on the floor again, taking in the damage.

“I was in a hurry, and might have knocked down a few vials searching for the right one,” she replied, still not looking at him.

“Do you have any idea how many valuable potions you destroyed?”

“I’m sorry,” she said, “but I considered finding the potion you needed before the curse killed you more important than worrying about the vials that fell as I searched.”

He looked at her for a moment and then turned back to the potions on the floor, vanishing the broken glass and cleaning the liquid without saying a word, something she appreciated. She had already had enough arguments for one day, and knew more were waiting for her as soon as she returned to headquarters.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked after a few moments, once the room was clean again.

“I think so,” she replied. “Sorry about the potions.”

“No matter,” he said as he walked to where she was sitting. He wrapped his fingers around one of her ankles and lifted her leg, resting her bare foot against his chest. “Does this hurt?” he asked, and she shook her head. “The skin colour has already gone back to normal,” he said, as his other hand moved softly from her heel to her knee and back. “You will need some potions before you can walk,” he told her, walking to one of the shelves by the wall and retrieving three small vials.

“Do I really have to?” she asked when he walked back to her. When he raised an eyebrow in question she muttered, “They usually taste awful.”

Although a small smile touched his lips at her comment he said nothing, just handed her the potions and waited until she had taken them, not even speaking when she grimaced and shook her head after the last one.

“The potions will take a few minutes to work,” he said, and she nodded. “There was blood on the floor, did you cut yourself?”

“I had to climb on a chair to get to the potion and I fell and hit my head.”

“Did you fall on any of the potions?” he asked, suddenly sounding alarmed.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. I did not fall on any of the potions.”

“Let me see the cut,” he said, leaving the empty vials next to her.

“It’s all right, Kingsley healed it before we left headquarters.”

“I see,” he said, stepping back, suddenly serious again, although she wasn’t sure what had caused the change.

“I really am sorry I dropped those potions,” she said, the first thing that came to mind after a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

“Never mind, I suppose there really wasn’t time to be careful,” he replied, his tone still slightly cold.

“Still, I…”

“If you are feeling better, then maybe I should take you back to headquarters,” he said in the same tone. What was wrong now? Had she done something to upset him, or was he just being his usual, snarky self?

“That won’t be necessary; I think I can walk,” she replied just as coldly, getting off of the table and managing to take two whole steps before her knees gave way.

“It seems not,” he said catching her just as she was about to hit the floor and pulling her back up against him. “But if you do not want me to take you back to the Order, I suppose I could call someone else and ask them to come for you. Perhaps you would rather it was Kingsley taking you back to headquarters.”

“What?” she asked with a confused frown.

“The two of you seem to have grown rather close; perhaps you would prefer his company.”

“Me and Kingsley? That’s stupid.”

“Stupid?”

“Yes,” she said firmly. Was he jealous of Kingsley? Why would he ever feel that way? Surely there must be another reason for his attitude.

“Very well, then,” he said after a moment, both his hands moving to her hips as he walked her back, lifted her up and sat her on the desk again, quickly stepping back away from her.

“Merlin, what’s wrong with you now?” she asked with a sigh. She was so tired of it.

“Excuse me?”

“Do I need to get Ron and Harry here, is that what you want?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. You only seem to treat me well when they are around, for some reason. If what you want is for them to find out, perhaps as a way of torturing Harry, then just go ahead and tell him; there’s no need to play with me.”

“Is that so?” he asked, his head tilted to the side as he watched her for a moment. “Here I was, thinking you liked it better when I didn’t treat you nicely, that you enjoyed my playing with you,” he said in a low tone, but his expression remained cold.

“This isn’t a game,” she said angrily, pushing herself back off the table, and somehow managing to stand.

“No it’s not,” he said just as angry, stepping closer to her. “You think it’s funny, what you’re doing to me?”

“What I’m doing to you?” she nearly screeched, her eyebrows lifting in surprise at his audacity. “I’m not doing anything to you!”

“Is that what you think?” he asked, stepping even closer to her. “Do you really not know?” he murmured as he took another step and moved one of his legs between hers, hastily pulling her closer to him, making her whimper when she felt him hard against her thigh. “I don’t think I am the one playing here.”

“I don’t…” she started, shaking her head, but she didn’t know what to say.

“Do you think this is easy? Or fun?” he snarled, leaning closer, his lips barely an inch from hers. “Trying to stay away from you, to protect you, having to watch you throw yourself at Kingsley or Draco when all I want to do is push you against the wall and feel your body writhe around mine.”

“Throw myself at them?” she asked angrily, moving her hands to his chest to push him away, but he quickly wrapped his fingers around her wrists, pushing her hands back down, pinning them to the table on either side of her.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed,” he whispered by her ear. “The way they look at you, the way they talk to you, the way they touch you; I know you’ve noticed that too. Is that what you want? Them?”

She couldn’t bring herself to speak, so she simply shook her head no.

“Then why do you do it? Is it to torture me?”

“T-Torture you?” she whimpered as his lips ghosted over her neck.

“Yes. You know I’m watching,” he whispered, his hands caressing up her arms and then moving around her waist, pulling her flush against him. “You know what I want,” he said, his lips nibbling on her earlobe, making her moan again. “You know you’re driving me crazy.”

“I…” she started, but before she could speak his lips moved to hers, kissing her deeply, full of passion and desire, taking her breath away.

She wrapped her hands around his neck, not wanting to hold back this time, desperate to feel him again.

“Severus,” she moaned into the kiss, and felt him pull back.

Both breathing heavily, they looked into each other’s eyes, not talking, not moving, just watching. She could sense the silent question in his gaze, the way out he was offering, but she did not want to take it; there was no other place she would rather be in, no other thing she would rather be doing. She wanted to touch him, to kiss him, to feel him again, and he must have easily read her expression, her thoughts, for he leaned closer to her and kissed her again.

It was different this time. The fire was there, the passion, the desire, but it was so much more. His lips moved slowly against hers, caring, tender, his hands moving to her shoulders, keeping her in place, as if he feared she would ran away.

Maybe she would have, perhaps the previous day, but not now. She knew what she wanted at last, was ready to accept it, and there would be no more running, no more hiding, no more pretending. It was about time she went for what she wanted.

Without breaking the kiss she moved her hands to the desk behind her and sat on it again, her legs wrapping around his hips and pulling him closer to her. Sensing she was not about to leave he let go of her shoulders, his hands softly caressing down her side, stopping around her waist for a moment before moving back up, lifting her shirt as they moved, breaking the slow, sensual kiss only long enough to push it over her head and throw it to the floor beside them.

Then his hands touched her skin, and it felt as if he hadn’t touched her that way in years. She could feel her heart beating faster, her body tingling at his touch, like it did whenever his skin made contact with hers. She had no idea why it happened, she had never felt that way before him, or with anyone other than him, but every time it happened she couldn’t help but wish it would never stop. It blocked out all conscious thought and all that was left was the desire, the need for him.

Her arms moved around his neck, pulling him closer to her before letting her hands trail between them, fumbling as she tried to unbutton his robes. There were so many buttons it was exasperating, but she still groaned when he broke the kiss and leaned back slightly, giving her hands more room to work.

“Stupid robes,” she muttered frustrated after a few moments, using both hands to tear the robes open, sending buttons flying everywhere, one of them painfully hitting her cheek, making her yelp and then laugh loudly. “Well, that didn’t go as I expected,” she said, still laughing.

“You could have just used your wand,” he said, but when she looked at him she saw him looking at her in amusement. She wondered for a moment if the fact that he looked amused half the times he looked at her was a good or a bad thing, but then his hands rested on hers, and she couldn’t think any more.

She was still clutching his robes, so instead of making her let go of the fabric he guided her hands apart and over his shoulders, his robes soon pooling on the floor around his feet.

“Perhaps I should do this myself,” he said in a husky tone, his lips quirked in a half smile. It was amazing how different he looked without his hard expressions or his trademark sneer. She loved watching him smile, even if it was only faintly; especially if that smile was directed to her.

“I don’t think so,” she said, shaking her head slightly, her hands moving back to his chest, playfully slapping his own away as her mind focused on the task, her fingers slowly undoing his shirt, revealing the pale skin beneath, the hard, lean body she longed for.

She pulled him closer again, her lips ghosting over his neck before moving to his chest, softly kissing the skin as it was revealed, only stopping when his hand on her chin pulled her up, his lips finding hers for another deep kiss.

She moaned into the kiss, pushing the shirt over his shoulders and leaning forward, feeling his hard chest against hers, his soft hands on her skin, and wanting so much more.

His lips trailed down her neck and with a small moan she closed her eyes and focused on the way he was making her feel, tilting her head to give his mouth better access.

His hands roamed her body, his touch gentle yet firm, making her feel special, wanted, and setting every nerve ending on fire.

She felt his hands move behind her back, his fingers easily unclasping her bra and pushing it down her arms and out of the way before his lips moved lower, his tongue flicking over a hardened nipple, making her moan and arch back.

“So beautiful,” she heard him mutter against her skin as his hands moved to cup her breasts. She buried her hand in his hair, pulling him closer to her body as she arched into his touch. But it wasn’t enough; she wanted more, needed more. She needed to feel all of him, to have him inside her again.

Her hands moved around his neck, his shoulders, down his chest, his lips still closed around her nipple as her hands reached his trousers, her fingers undoing the belt and pushing down the zipper with a speed she didn’t think possible, at least for her.

Tightening her legs around his hips, she pushed him closer so she could reach under his clothes, her fingers slipping into his trousers and wrapping around his erection. The groan she got in response gave her the bravado she needed, and she started moving her hand up and down, feeling his hips start moving against her after a moment.

His warm lips left her skin as he stood straight, his eyes closed as she stroked him slowly, then faster, but after a few moments she heard him groan again, his fingers wrapping around her hands, pulling them away from him and pinning them behind her.

Holding both her wrists in one hand he used the other to reach for his wand, a single flick vanishing her jeans and underwear, leaving her completely naked in front of him. Then, without a word, he pulled her to the edge of the desk, spreading her legs further apart, the tip of his erection teasing her entrance.

“Please,” she whimpered, wrapping her legs around him again, pulling him closer. He looked deep into her eyes, as if he were looking for something there, and then he kissed her, slow and full of passion, pushing inside of her at the same time.

His thrusts were slow, deep, his tongue mimicking his hips as he moved against her, his hands caressing every bit of skin they could reach, making her feel worshipped, almost…loved.

As good as it felt, soon it wasn’t enough for them anymore, and as the pace increased she began pushing back against him, her hips meeting his thrust for thrust, his hands shifting to her waist, controlling her movements, hers travelling to his shoulders instead, her nails digging into his flesh as she silently begged him for more.

He buried his hands in her hair, tilting her head back as his lips trailed down her neck, finding all the sensitive spots and making her moan his name again and again. Then his other hand moved between their bodies, his thumb rubbing her clit, making her arch back until she was resting against the desk.

She heard him whisper softly against her skin between kisses, words she couldn’t understand, his hips moving faster, his thrusts becoming harder as they moved as one. She wanted to tell him how good it felt, how much she wanted him, loved him, but was too scared to say it, scared it would make him stop, that it would push him away from her, even though his actions made her think he might feel the same way.

His thumb started moving faster against her clit, making her muscles tighten around him as she shivered and nibbled on her lower lip, her eyes fixed on him as he kissed her body, as he moved deep inside of her.

She could feel the tension building inside of her, and knew he wasn’t far behind, his thrusts loosing their rhythm, becoming almost erratic as he groaned against her skin.

“Severus,” she moaned again when he leaned down, his warm mouth closing around her nipple, his tongue flicking over it skilfully, the sensations more than she could take.

With another groan he sped up his movements, changing the angle of his thrusts just enough to hit that spot within her that made her scream in pleasure, her body arching against him as she came, her muscles rhythmically contracting around him, pulling him with her.

She wasn’t sure how long they had been like that, her resting back against his desk and him against her, but she wouldn’t mind staying like that for hours. Days. Slowly, they came back down, their breathings still ragged, their hearts beating wildly, and after a few moments she felt him move again. But he didn’t step away as she thought he would, as he had almost every other time. No; this time he moved his hand behind her neck, pulling her up with him, his eyes locked on hers, their faces so close they were almost touching.

Without saying a word he leaned forward, his lips ghosting over hers for a moment, lightly nibbling on her lower lip before kissing her. She moaned lightly and felt his tongue slip inside her mouth, deepening the kiss, moving against hers in a slow caress. He was so close she could feel his heart beating against her, faster and faster as the kiss deepened.

Even after all they had been through, after all they had done together, she knew without a doubt she had never felt better than in that very moment, with him holding her in his arms, kissing her softly. Nothing else mattered; nothing else existed. For a few, precious minutes the world was reduced to them, and she couldn’t imagine a better world.

As he held her close, as he kissed her, she knew she couldn’t deny what she felt any longer. She loved him, loved him more than she had ever loved anyone, and as much as she feared to admit it, as a part of her told her she had to be mistaken, she also knew he loved her back.