A Song for Severus ~ (Not Update, but Edit)

Chapter 50 ~ Discussion

Severus imbibed two large firewhiskeys before he began to speak, Draco staring at him, his gray eyes full of interest. Professor Snape was involved with Hermione Granger, the most irritating muggle-born on the face of the planet as far as Draco was concerned. How could this have possibly happened? Snape was the most Slytherin-like Slytherin he had ever known outside of his father. Actually, more so than his father. Lucius would play up to people so they never really knew his ways, but Snape had always acted the snarky bastard, straightforward, sarcastic, vindictive, not caring who liked or disliked him. How had he attached himself to Hermione Granger?

“I don’t know how it happened, Draco,” the Potions Master began, his eyes taking on an unfocused quality, “I’ve always prided myself on knowing my own motivations. Yet, my desire for Hermione crept up on me and consumed me like a ravenous dragon.”

Draco said nothing. He had wanted Malina from the moment he saw her, though his ultimate goal was to bed the witch, not to love her. That had crept up on him as well. But it seemed strange that the Potions Master could be caught unaware the way he did. He was never a man given to wild passion. He seemed to consider and plan every action.

“Two years after she graduated and went on to university, I found out to my displeasure that Albus had made arrangements for her to be my Potions assistant in order to garner credit for her degree. Since I am an employee of Hogwarts and subject to Albus’ outrageous whims, I had to accept her. I didn’t make it easy. Her initial assignments were terrible. I assigned her to collect the bloodiest, most unsavory ingredients from living creatures, sure she would refuse. To my surprise, she did all I asked stoically, without complaint as she dissected the animals, which could not be spelled because it was important their parts be collected while alive. I also gave her insignificant grunt work, such as cleaning cauldrons, cataloging the many ingredients I had, though I already had them meticulously listed and inventoried. I even had her collect thestral manure. Not one complaint…not one word of refusal. She was dedicated, and I came to respect her dedication,” the wizard admitted, pouring himself another firewhiskey.

“She was like no other witch I’d ever known,” the wizard said, “Maybe she was just determined not to let me get to her…that Gryffindor stubbornness coming to the fore. Eventually I let her work with me, gave her more brewing assignments. She was careful, meticulous. If she wasn’t sure about something, she would ask me despite knowing I would be dismissive and, I admit cruel…acting as if she were an idiot for doing the proper thing. Still she didn’t cut and run…she took my worst and continued. How could I not respect her for that, Draco?”

Draco shook his head.

“I don’t know, Professor,” he said, his eyes urging the wizard to continue.

Severus took another sip of his drink, then continued.

“Hermione was the first person, male or female besides Albus that could deal with me, accept me the way I was. It took a while for that to settle in. But I still didn’t know how deeply that affected me, Draco. How much…how much I appreciated her understanding…her acceptance,” the pale wizard said, shaking his head, “It is easy to see in retrospect, but at the time of its occurrence, I had no idea the witch was working her way under my skin.”

Draco finished his own drink, then poured another. He also topped off the Professor’s drink, wanting him to continue opening up. He had never seen this side of the wizard and felt rather honored that he was sharing something so personal with him.

“But…but it was when she accidentally added a wrong ingredient to her cauldron after I had been particularly sharp with her, that how I felt towards the witch came to a head. The only reason she didn’t ask me what to do was because how cruelly I spoke to her after she asked an earlier question. It is clear now she decided to chance she was right…which she wasn’t. But luckily I saw her error and pulled her away from the cauldron before it blew. I have no doubt it would have killed her,” Severus said, his eyes hard.

Draco watched as the Professor’s expression changed. It became rather soft, vulnerable. Something he wasn’t used to seeing. Severus took a long sip of his firewhiskey, his black eyes meeting Draco.

“I had her in my embrace, close…tight. I could feel her trembling as I railed at her about being so stupid, so irresponsible, telling her she could have lost her life. And suddenly the thought of the witch losing her life…no longer being here hit me…and…and…” the wizard’s voice faltered.

“And?” Draco encouraged.

Severus looked at him, his eyes darker than usual.

“And I kissed her. I lowered my head and locked my lips to her mouth and it was as if an inferno washed over me. It was shocking, but compelling and she didn’t resist me. She kissed me back, but as I think of it…her kiss was not practiced, but I was the aggressor, so I took control, pulling her closer, drowning in the feel and scent of her. The next thing I knew, my robes were spread on the lab floor and the witch beneath me. I took her, Draco, full of a lust I had never known before. I’ve been aroused before and had my share of willing witches…but this…but this was something different, something I could not stop. I had to have her. Can you understand that?” the wizard asked him.

Draco remembered returning from a month of revels and taking Malina for the first time. He was driven. He needed her more than he needed to take his next breath, and she gave herself to him, feeling his need.

“Yes. Yes I can,” Draco said softly.

Severus sighed and held out his glass to Draco, who refilled it. The Potions Master took another sip, rasping slightly, then continuing, seeming to speak to himself rather than Draco.

“I…I…I didn’t know,” he said softly, “Or I didn’t want to know…”

”What, Professor…what didn’t you know?” Draco asked him.

“I took her passionately Draco. I was…I was full of desire. She cried out when I entered her…I was used to that, many witches responded the same way if I were driven. But there was a sharpness to her cry that I didn’t register at first and…and she didn’t try to push me away or protest. She took me, crying out and gasping and I thought it was normal…considering the differences in our size and my strength. But there was something in her eyes that made me slow…made me….look. It was then I saw the blood and realized I had taken her virginity,” the wizard said with a quaver in his voice as he remembered his horror at having treated Hermione in such a way.

Draco stared at him a moment, then said, “Gods, Professor. You didn’t know she was a virgin?”

”No. No I didn’t,” he said, “I had taken something precious from her in a fit of lust. Yes, she could have said something…but it had to all be so overwhelming for the witch. There was no doubt in my mind that she had wanted me. It was not an act of rape, but an act of passion…one she accepted. I slowed then, and gave her the attention and gentleness she deserved. I believe I made it good for the witch once I realized my error,” Severus said.

“What happened afterwards?” Draco asked him.

Severus drew in a deep breath.

“It was awkward. I apologized to her for taking her in such a manner and scourgified her, feeling completely out of sorts as she rearranged her clothing. Then she said to me, ‘I was going to lose my virginity one day, Professor. I’m just glad it was spontaneous and with someone I truly respect and admire,’ then she left. In the days that followed she acted as if nothing had happened between us, and I did my best to act the same way…unfortunately treating her even more atrociously than before, as if to prove I was unaffected. But I was affected. I had never taken a witch’s virginity before and as I said, I had never known a witch like Hermione. For more than a week I denied my desire for the witch, telling myself it was a tryst like any other tryst. But it wasn’t, Draco. I don’t believe Hermione would have let anyone do to her what I did to her in the way I did it. She felt something for me. She wasn’t an air headed bit of fluff that flipped her heels into the air for every randy wizard that had a compliment for her, but an intelligent, dedicated young witch who was going to make her mark in the world. And she gave me my space. I found…I found I didn’t want it.”

Draco could understand this…but said nothing as the wizard poured out his soul to him. It was good therapy. He wasn’t the only one affected by intimacy with a special witch. It soothed him as he listened to the Potions Master.

“After a rather conflicted week of thinking constantly about Hermione, I finally confessed to her that I wanted her, but I didn’t know if I could be what she wanted. She looked at me and said, ‘I believe I can be what you want, Professor. You just don’t know it yet. We can find out together.’ Then she proceeded to give me a list of ‘rules.’ The cheeky little wench. But I was willing to try to follow them in order to have her for a lover. I am still trying to meet them…although I’ve never regretted taking the risk. She is still as infuriating as she was in Hogwarts, but there is much more to her that I can appreciate now. She also has a terrible temper that she has no problem showing. I appreciate that, since I never wanted to be involved with a witch who was little more than a doormat. She may be a Gryffindor, but she has strength, fire and is as vindictive as she is brilliant. She takes no guff, Draco…and that…that endears her to me.”

The wizard fell silent.

Draco nodded.

“Malina didn’t take much guff either, Professor. She hexed me on more than one occasion for trying to take advantage of her. She could be a hellcat when she wanted. And I loved it,” the wizard said.

Severus took another drink and looked at Draco speculatively.

“I think we are quite alike in our tastes, Draco. Both of us were quite lucky in finding women that suited us,” he said, his voice slightly slurred.

“Yes. Yes, Professor,” Draco responded, also feeling the effects of the firewhiskey, “Now let me tell you about Malina.”

The two wizards talked far into the evening, sharing memories, laughs and some regrets concerning their witches.

“At least you told Malina you loved her,” Severus said thickly, “I haven’t told Hermione that directly yet, though I am sure she knows.”

”They always know,” Draco said drunkenly, “Malina had me by the short hairs the first time I saw her. She was beautiful…beautiful.”

Draco fell silent.

Severus looked at him.

“And you will always be blessed, Draco, having known that beauty…having experienced her love. That love will be with you always,” the wizard said.

Severus would never have voiced such a sentiment if he wasn’t drunk. But it didn’t mean he didn’t believe it, because he did. He felt himself a better man because of Hermione’s love. No doubt Draco had benefited from Malina the same way.

Draco thought about the song she left, a comforting warmth washing over him. It could be the firewhiskey, but he believed it something more. In fact, he knew it was something more.

“Yes. Yes it will,” he agreed.

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A/N: Thanks for reading. I had a couple of homemade wine coolers. I hope this talk between the wizards translates as well as I think it does. Lol. Thanks for reading.