It\'s Only Love, What Is Everyone So Afraid Of?

Disclaimer: I don’t own them, don’t sue me





Disclaimer:
I don’t own them, don’t sue me.

 

 

 

Chapter
5….....He was with who?
*********************************

 

Harry left
the potions croomroom feeling better than he’d felt all day. Draco had caressed
his cheek in semi-public and it looked like he could look forward to another
blissful weekend. They would have to be careful though, as Harry was certain
his Potions Master would figure something out otherwise. Snape had always given
Harry an uneasy feeling, in his younger years it had been pure fear of the
ominous man, but later it turned into a grudging respect for the spy. Snape
still gave him the creeps, but Harry had to admit that he was razor sharp….in a
creepy uncle who purposely gives you presents you don’t like at Christmas sort
of way.

 

**********************************

 

Later, the
Gryffindor trio and Ginny were walking down to dinner together, chatting about the
upcoming weekend when Blaise Zabini, Crabbe, Goyle and a few nameless
Slytherins passed by them.

 

Zabini
cocked an eyebrow at the youngest and only female Weasley and bler aer a mock
kiss.

 

“Keep your
filthy lips to yourself, you bloody perv!” The girl was quick to retort, having
grown irritated over the years at her brothers always defending her before she
could defend herself.

 

Zabini turned
on his heel to face the group. “Me? If its perverts you’re looking for Little
Weasel, your Golden Boy here should do nicely.”

 

And with
lightning speed he had Harry up against the wall by his robes. Both Ron and
Hermione were poised to attack, as was Harry but a breath from shoving the
bully off of him when a shout came from the end of the hall.

 

“Blaise!”

 

All heads
turned to the voice of the unofficial leader of Slytherin House, Draco Malfoy.

 

“Let him
go!”

 

In his
shock, Blaise dropped Harry and turned towards, what he considered, his best
friend.

 

“Draco,
what…?” Blaise didn’t get to finish his query before being cut off by blo blonde leader.

 

“Stop
pratting around Zabini and let’s go to dinner already!”

 

The other
Slytherins shot their rivals a quick glare and followed obediently into the
Great Hall.

 

*************************************

 

Midweek
brought a rare, but treasured encounter for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry’s
most unlikely couple. With neither young man having quidditch practice and Ginny
being conspicuously respectful of Harry’s privacy all week.

 

“Harry…” it
was a breathless whisper.

 

“Mnnn” was
the equally breathy reply as the Gryffindor lapped at Draco’s neck. His
fingertips roamed all over the pale torso and finally came to rest briefly on
the Slytherin’s hip, still held prisoner by his trousers.

 

Harry turned
his oral attentions to the blonde’s collarbone and his hands resumed their
exploration before finally reaching their goal. For Harry, it was like
electricity shot through his arm and ran all through his body when, for the
first time, he touched the arousal between his lover’s legs with his hands
instead of just having it achingly pressed against his own thigh. If the sudden
gasp from Draco was any indication, it would seem he felt the same way.

 

Lost in
thoughts of the beauty of such an exquisite head thrown back in pleasure, Harry
started a bit when he felt Draco’s hand on his own, moving it back up towards
his stomach. Harry lifted his gaze to that of his lover and furrowed his brow
in confusion.

 

“Do you not
want me to?”

 

“I do…It’s
not that….it’s just….this is new…I mean….I like it…too much maybe…” Draco
trailed off not sure where he was headed anyways.

 

“Well if you
like it so much….” Harry grinned wolfishly and simultaneously placed his face
back into Draco’s neck and moved his hand back to its naughty original
position. Needless to say, he did not expect the reaction he got.

 

“I said no!”

 

Startled,
Harry withdrew from Draco completely and gaped at his pseudo boyfriend. After a
moment, his expression changed to one of anger.

 

“If you
don’t want me to touch you, then what are you even doing here in the first
place?”

 

Realizing he
might have been a little harsh, Draco scooted over towards Harry and tentatively
placed his hand upon the angry Gryffindor’s knee.

 

“It’s not
about that, Harry, it’s just…this is new…and I’m a bit scared, and I got angry
when I told you that and then you did it anyways….when I tell you things like
that I feel….vulnerable….” his eyes were cast downward as if to add a visual
aid to his explanation of susceptibility.

 

“I’m sorry
Draco…I didn’t mean to rush you, I just get….frustrated sometimes…I feel like
we’re always playing the come here, go away game.”

 

“How about
just the come here part?” Draco held his hand out for Harry to take, which he,
of course, did.

 

The two lay
down and soon became a tangle of limbs. Harry’s head lay upon Draco’s chest
while Draco ran his fingers lazily through the messy black hair of his lover. They
lay in silence for a long while before Draco spoke up.

 

“Harry?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Tell me
about Voldemort?”

 

This time it
was Harry who became noticeably apprehensive.

 

“Don’t you
know enough already?”

 

“What’s that
supposed to mean? Believe it or not, I wasn’t supposed to be a Death Eater,
Harry.”

 

Harry sat up
with shock. “What? You mean to tell me that *The* Lucius Malfoy would groom his
son for anything else?”

 

“My Father
isn’t the person you think he is. He’s probably pretty damn close…but he does
love me, I think. Even if he n’t n’t love*, h*, he loves his name, and his
heritage. Personally, I didn’t agree with Voldemort’s whole genocide idea, what
I heard of it anyways. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being
proud of where and who you come from.”

 

Harry found
himself wishing the conversation hadn’t taken such a serious turn. He was,
however, also intrigued as to what Draco’s destiny had been…or, he had to force
himself to realize, probably still was.

 

“I was
wondering how your father managed to escape Azkaban after the Dark Lord’s fall
anyways. I know he’s your father, I just can’t see how anyone could respect
such a man. I’m sorry if that hurts you…it’s just…he did try to kill me and
all.”

 

“I do
respect my Father and, at times, I understand him. He was trapped in a
situation beyond his control due to some silly decisions he made as a
teenager.”

 

Harry, of
course, heard Draco’s words translated into something like ‘I understand my father because he ruined his life as a teenager just
like me.’ Funny how those brain translators work. This translation did not
make him happy.

 

“Is that
what you think this is?” He waved his hand in the space between the two of
them. “Silly teenage decisions that’ll ruin your life?”

 

“That’s not
what I said…OR what I meant, stop jumping to conclusions already!” Draco looked
exasperated.

 

“I just
meant that my Fa joi joined Voldemort when he was young, and later, when he
realized everything that it entailed, it was too late. He’s not the faithful
minion of the Dark Lord you think he is. He might be an arrogant bastard, but I
wouldn’t call him evil.”

 

Harry ‘hmphed’

 

“I know my
word, as far as my Father is concerned, may not mean much to you, but
everything he did for the last several years he did to keep me safe…from
Voldemort I mean…to keep our family in his favor so he wouldn’t target me
whilst I was young. I *am* the only heir after all.”

 

“How could I
forget?”

 

“I think the
Ministry knew a lot of that. He paid some pretty immense fines though. Even
with his position as a Death Eater, he wasn’t going to let his heir join a side
that was destined to lose. My Father was never big on delusions.”

 

Draco had been
running one hand up and down Harry’s arm during their conversation. Harry
placed his hand atop Draco’s effectively stilling its movement and proceeded to
intertwine the pale fingers with his own.

 

“Can I ask
you something Draco?”

 

“What is
it?”

 

“If you
weren’t supposed to be a Death Eater, what *were* you supposed to do?” Harry
hoped he wouldn’t regret asking this question.

 

“No need to
use past tense Harry…I still have a destiny, you know.”

 

“And that
would be?” Harry tried to keep the anxiety out of his voice.

 

“I’m
supposed to redeem the title of Slytherin and the name of Malfoy. It might not
sound like much to you, but it’s important to me. You know, my name did stand
for something other than ‘Evil Supporter of
the Dark Lord’ once. With all things that I do in life, I *will* not only
redeem my name, but make it greater than it was before.”

 

Harry
thought it best not to ask exactly how he fit into Draco’s plan for his life
and instead replied with a simple “Oh”.

 

Draco seemed
much more at ease than his raven haired companion; having wiggled his hand free
from Harry’s and resumed stroking the darker skinned boy’s arm. When he next
spoke, it was with a much lighter voice.

 

“You never
answered me about Voldemort…if it’s okay to talk about I mean.”

 

“There’s not
much to tell, I got tired of waiting for him to try to kill me and everyone I
love…so I found him first.”

 

“Is *that*
how it happened?”

 

“That’s the
condensed version, yes.”

 

“And
Dumbledore knew about this?”

 

“Not
exactly, he didn’t approve, and of course I didn’t tell him when I was going,
but I think he knew he couldn’t stop me.”

 

“And you
just showed up like ‘Knock knock…who’s
there….Avada…Avada who?...’”

 

Harry let
out a laugh at Draco’s small attempt at a joke. He wondered briefly about
wizard knock knock jokes, as Draco certainly wouldn’t know the muggle ones.

 

“Yes, I used the killing curse, but only when
I had to…actually, I tried to pick a fist fight with him first.”

 

Draco let
out a howl of laughter. “Oh I can see it now! You clocking him in his horrid
face!”

 

“I said I
*tried* to pick a fist fight with him…I had a lot of anger to vent…and one
curse wasn’t going to get it all out. He wouldn’t go for it though, I got in
one hit before he tried to kill me and then I just…did it…instinct more than
anything else.”

 

“Seems kind
of uneventful doesn’t it? After all those years.” Draco mused.

 

“I
guess….but I’d rather it be uneventful than have actually turned into a war.”

 

“I suppose
you’re right.”

 

The two
lapsed back into silence for several long minutes before Harry spoke up.

 

“If you don’t
have anymore questions, I suggest we get in some quality snogging. We *do* have
class in the morning after all, and you’ll have to get back to the dungeons
soon.”

 

Draco
returned Harry’s grin with earnest.

 

“Less
talk…more snog…”

 

And there
was less talking….more snogging…..

 

************************************************

 

After Draco
had gone, Harry began to think. And think. And think. He silently wished he
could just turn his brain off and get some sleep, but no…the same thoughts kept
swirling about.

 

He thought
about Draco and how he looked flushed and timid; he often seemed on the verge
of weeping and Harry thought the sight so beautiful he might go blind. He
thought about Draco and how wonderful their time together had been. He thought
about Draco and how difficult it must be for him to have to live up to
everyone’s expectations. Harry knew how it felt to have everyone always wanting
something from yHe tHe thought about Draco and how eager he seemed to get into
the world and redeem his name. And then, inevitably, he thought about Draco and
wondered just what he thought about their relationship…if you could call it
that. It wasn’t lust, there certainly was a lot of lust involved, but they both
seemed to revel in each other and their time together. There were caresses and
meaningful glances and heartfelt sighs. But what Harry couldn’t wrap his mind
around was how casually Draco addressed his fate…a fate that seemingly held no
place for him.

 

“What am I
to you?” He whispered into the darkness. He knew he wouldn’t get much sleep
that night.

 

*******************************************************

 

Harry was,
until that very moment, unaware that one could wear their breakfast. That is,
until he came very close to nose-diving into his eggs. Faintly aware of his
name being called, Harry willed his eyes open to pay attention.

 

“Harry?”

 

“……”

 

“Harrrry?”

 

“…….”

 

“HARRY?!”

 

“Wha?”

 

“Jeez mate,
I’ve been calling you! Why’re you so tired? And where were you last night? We
waited for you!” Ron was inspecting his friend’s sleepy form.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Mione and
I” Ron cocked his head at Harry slightly. “We were supposed to study
together….remember?”

 

“Oh….yes….that….well….I….”

 

“I know you
didn’t have Quidditch, and I looked for you everywhere. Snape was looking for
Malfoy and couldn’t find him either…I was worried he might have you cornered somewhere.”

 

Harry
glanced over at Hermione who only squirmed under his gaze. She couldn’t be his
alibi because she’d been with Ron.

 

‘Damn…damn….damn…..damn….’

 

“I…well…I
was….I mean….I..”

 

“He was with
me.”

 

All heads
snapped over towards the voice.

 

“Harry!” Ron
pat him on the back and threw an arm around his shoulders. “Boume, me, I was
thinking you guys were never gonna get together! But remember…she’s still my
little sister! You hurt her and I’ll have to beat you!” Harry wasn’t sure he’d
ever seen Ron’s grin so big &nb  

Hermione
looked like she’d been hit by a truck, and Harry just gaped stupidly; he was
definitely awake now; while Ginny looked perfectly calm.

  “Ye “Yeah…thanks….I
think.”

 

Harry stole
a glance at the Slytherin table hoping Draco hadn’t heard any of the banter now
circulating the Gryffindor table and noticed the blonde’s absence. ‘He must’ve slept late…I hope he’s not late
for class.’ Harry thought. Not wanting to be surrounded by the gossip or
Ron’s constant repeating of “Mum will be so happy” he decided to skip the rest
of breakfast.

 

“I’ve got to
run back to the room before class…I’ll catch up with you guys later…okay?” Not
giving anyone time to answer him, Harry quickly strode out of the Great Hall.

 

Walking down
a corridor his mind was working overtime. ‘What
was that? I need to find Draco and see if we can figure out what is going on.’

 

He was
snapped, or yanked rather, out of his musings by a hand pulling him into a room.


 

“Jeez Draco,
you could have asked….” Harry stopped abruptly with a ‘meep’ when he realized
it was in fact Ginny Weasley and not his lover staring at him.

 

“Gin! It’s
not…I mean…it’s not what it looks like…I was….”

 

Harry was
again cut off, but this time it was by a fierce slap to his face. Harry rubbed
his cheek and prepared for the worst.

 

“Why didn’t
you tell me HarWhy Why would you let me make such an ass out of myself? And
don’t say you don’t know what I’m talking about! I saw you and Malfoy in the
Potions classroom!” The girl was flustered and her hands were balled into fists
at her sides.

 

“Frankly
because it’s none of your business. But you’re right…I should have told you
when I found out you were…I’m sorry Gin, you won’t say anything, will you?”

 

“No Harry…I
won’t, but I need some time, okay? Until recently I was convinced I was going
to marry you.” Ginny poked him in the ribs playfully, although her countenance
still held sadness and worry.

 

“Is this
what was bothering you the other night Harry?”

 

“Sort of….we
were in the forests and I got dragged into Dumbledore’s office by Hagrid.”

 

“The
forest!? Harry, that’s not smart at all! You could get…I mean….you could have
been…”

 

“What? Queer bashed by squirrels? Look, Ginny,
I need to know you won’t breathe a word of this to anyone…We don’t want anyone
to know, if anyone finds out…”

 

This time
Ginny cut him off. “Your secret is safe with me, but you really should be more
careful…I could have been anyone watching you…people aren’t stupid.”

 

“Thanks Gin!
And thank you for covering for me in there…Ron would kill Draco if he knew.”

 

“I didn’t do
it for Malfoy, Harry…I did it because I saw your face when you were with him. I
don’t know what’s going on between you two, and frankly right now, I don’t want
to know…but if he hurts you…” She let her sentence trail off certain Harry
could assume the rest.

 

“He
won’t….I….I think I love him….”

 

When Harry
hugged the girl who’d been his biggest fan for years he missed the grief on her
face.

 

******************************************************************

 

After
potions had finished, Harry purposefully lingered in hopes that he could talk
to Draco. After everyone had finally filed out of the classroom, he approached
the Slytherin, somewhat giddy after not having spoken to him all day.

 

“Where were
you this morning? You weren’t at breakfast.”

 

“Oh…I just
had some things to take care of.”

 

“Okay. Well…hopefully
you won’t have ‘things to take care of’ on Saturday…I’ve got a great bottle of
wine and I’ve got something I need to tell you”

 

Harry wanted
to tell Draco he loved him. As sappy as it was…he felt he needed to. Ever since
he’d told Ginny, he almost couldn’t wait to tell Draco. The thought made him so
happy it almost erased all doubt about the blonde’s reaction might be to what
he wanted to say. Almost.

 

“Actually…I
can’t Saturday….I’m busy.”

 

“Busy?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“What could
be so important as to spoil our weekend?” Harry didn’t like this at all. If
something was bothering Draco, he wanted to know about it. Earlier in the week
he seemed fine, but now…he just seemed…edgy.

 

“I’ll have
to talk to you about it later…I’ve got to go.” Draco swept by him and out of
the classroom leaving Harry to wonder just what all that had been about.

 

***************************************************************************

 

The last two
days he whe week went by with aching stillness, as Harry had almost no contact
with Draco. The weekdays were usually as such, but now he didn’t have the
weekend to look forward to. What could Draco be doing that he’d waste the only
time they got to spend together?

 

Finally
Saturday came to pass and mid-day Harry realized he hadn’t seen Draco anywhere.
He decided to give the castle another good once over and came up with the same
results. Once back in his room Harry slumped onto his bed feeling quite
dejected. ‘Where could he be?’

 

After much
useless thought he rose and crossed the room to his trunk. Rooting around in
it, his hands finalame ame in contact with the object he’d been looking for.
Pulling out the bottle of wine, Harry examined the label. It had taken quite a talking
to get Hermione to get it for him. Having no way to get a hold of any, he’d
asked her to get it during the last summer holidays. She’d only agreed after he
swore he wouldn’t use it on any ‘pervy
bathroom people’ and that he wouldn’t become an alcoholic and neglect his
studies. Feeling not his best he figured a glass couldn’t hurt and might
improve his mood.

 

After
fighting with the bottle for nearly ten minutes and realizing there was no way
he was going to get his hands on a corkscrew he reached for his wand and
muttered a spell to open it. The spell worked but disintegrated the cork.

 

‘Bugger…now I canloselose it…maybe
Draco will show up soon and we can finish it together.’ Harry got his hopes up.

 

Three hours
and a bottle of wine later, a very inebriated Harrttertter came to the
conclusion that if Draco wasn’t going to show, then damn it all, he was going
to find him and see just what sort of important things he had to do. Clumsily
grabbing up his invisibility cloak and the marauder’s map, he made his way to
the door. Once outside, he muttered Draco’s name to the map and watched as two
fuzzy dots appeared. Harry looked surprised.

 

‘There are two Dracos?’ he asked himself before realizing
that no…there were not two Dracos nor were there two of every painting or two
of anything (except Weasley twins…but Harry thanked Merlin they had graduated
because he didn’t think he could deal with four of anything), and that he must
be seeing double. Shaking his head to clear it a bit, his vision refocused and he
noticed that Draco’s dot appeared to be near the lake.

 

Stepping
back inside to splash his face with cold water, he decided to leave the map in
case he might lose it in his state. Feeling a bit better, but still decidedly
drunk, Harry headed towards the lake.

 

It was quite
an adventure, getting there. Stumbling a few times and giggling about it even
more, Harry finally approached the lake. He was about to take off his cloak
when he heard a voice that most definitely belonged to one Draco Malfoy.

 

“…me too.
No, its okay…you go on, I missed you too, I think I’m going to stay out here for a bit
though. I’ll see you lat

 

‘I missed you too?’ Who the hell was Draco talking to?

 

Harry took a
few cautious steps forward, arriving on the scene just in time to see Draco
kissing Pansy Parkinson.

 

 

************************************************************************

TBC

 

*Ducks sharp
objects* DON’T KILL ME! Give me time….the next chapter is halfway done and will
be here soon. I *promise*. THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of you who reviewed my
author’s note. I needed that. I will now get on with it, and post these
chapters in a timely fashion. Thank you again ^.^

Love and
Kisses,

 

Reika