A Song Unsung

Many people want to know why Harry is acting the way he is...this is that chapter, the explanation why.

This fic is not Pro-Trio, Pro-Gryffindor or Pro-Dumbledore. If you have a problem with that, leave now. Also there will be BDSM in further chapters, so you are warned. This is the *unedited* version of this fic, available only here and on my website. Please check out my website, a HP Slash archive that DOES NOT crash! www.draconis-carpe-noctem.com. Oh, does anyone know any good HP fics out there that have dominant!Draco? I\'m trying to find some. Thanks!

I AM JK Rowling, I created these fine characters and I am outing myself about slash. (BS O Metre off the scale) Flames will be used to destroy the store I work in because retail sucks and I hate it. I write based on reviews - how will I ever improve if I don\'t get feedback?


Harry let himself be lost in his thoughts, dwelling on them, wallowing in them – thinking the one thing he’d never tell a soul. He knew how he came across now, and accepted it. The Harry everyone expected to see and know was gone – probably forever.

It had begun two summers ago, just after Sirius had died…


*The Dursley’s did not act in their normal manner towards Harry that summer. Grief had threatened to overwhelm him, and at night he curled into a ball to cry – he had lost everything and everyone that had ever meant anything to him. True he had lost his parents, but he had never known them so it was no true loss – but Sirius – the one man he regarded as truly his father. He was dead. Because of him.

Apathy ruled that summer, the Dursley’s having figured out that instead of using fists to abuse and hurt Harry, silence and uncaring worked just as well.

Words were stronger than fists.

The effects lasted far longer and were more scarring.

So Harry endured a summer in which they didn’t care – before they had always at least made note of his existence – now in place of abuse and a constant barrage of insults, there was nothing. He was responsible for all chores in the house, for all meals – but save for one time when Petunia had told him sharply that he was responsible for his own food and it was never to be the same things they ate – he had not been spoken to since.

It had been nearly two months since he had been spoken to.

He had refused to go to the Burrow that summer – he couldn’t bear to see Ron, to be surrounded by all that happiness and certainty that Harry would triumph and the Dark Lord’s days were numbered.

He knew better.

He didn’t want to see the budding and finally flourishing relationship between Hermione and Ron, didn’t want to hear about Ginny’s boyfriends. Two months of being ignored and not speaking had had their intended effect. Save for the regular owl he had to send to the Order, he contacted no one, and letters to him went unread and unanswered as he slowly fell into a pool of his own grief, having nightmares and crying every night for the only father he had known.

One night, in tightight of the full moon, he had been perched in his window as usual staring up at the sky. ‘The moon is all alone,’ he thought. ‘Solitary and untouchable, as cold as winter night.’

A plan began to form in his head. ‘Perhaps if I am like the moon, if I put up walls and seem to be untouchable, then no one can ever get close to me again, and if no one can get close to me again, then I can never hurt like this again.’

He envisioned his heart and emotions in a tower, a tower deep in perilous woods, full of traps and tricks. No one would be able to break through the barrier he began to build – and during his sixth year – no one got close to him, save one.

Harry had been sexually curious for some time, his dreams as confusing as they were pleasurable. Sometimes he dreamt of women, other times men. He had allowed Justin Finch-Fletchley to get close to him, for him he let down his barriers and let him see all that was inside Harry Potter. Shared with him his dreams, his hopes, and desires. There were nights of whispers and touches, soft breathy laughs and sighs as two bodies sought pleasure and brought each other to completion.

“Are you sure Harry?”

“Do it Justin.”

A warm mouth encasing a firm cock as Justin arched into Harry’s mouth. Harry continued to torment him, toying with his balls, blowing cold air on his dick to get him wet. Justin’s gentle fingers probed Harry’s virgin entrance, explored and Harry let out a gasp at the cold feel there. He felt something hard and blunt probing the entrance. “This will hurt Harry.”

“I trust you Justin.” Harry breathed, kissing his lips deeply.

Justin pressed past the ring of muscle to embed himself deeply inside Harry’s arse. Harry was complete, he was with the greatest man in the world and he felt so strongly that he could burn up with need from it.

The rhythm established was gentle and rocking and sweet. It was loving and tender. Caresses and whispers passed between the two lovers as they drew to climax – Justin reaching it first, and Harry finished himself off for Justin withdrew abruptly from his body and rolled away. “I’m tired Harry.”

“I understand Justin. I love you.”

He had allowed Justin to enter him, to make love to him and remembered desire coursing through his unused heart so strongly he thought he’d burst. He loved him.

Justin had left him. Justin told the other Hufflepuffs (in that gossipy way all Hufflepuffs were known for) all that Harry told him and they told everyone else. Someone went to the Daily Prophet, the headlines had plagued Harry for weeks, seeing his deepest thoughts, and fears on display like that. Justin had then attempted to justify what he did, and when Harry didn’t believe him, told him he had used him to lose his yoke of virginity, didn’t want to date someone marked for death and was going after someone else.

“Harry you must understand – you have far too many issues and baggage.”

“I can change that Justin.”

“You’re going to die when you fight Voldemort again anyway and I don’t want that.”

“I’ll be careful Justin. You can’t be saying…” Harry clung to thly tly thing he had left in his life that he loved – and and Hermione could never love him this way. He couldn’t be saying he was leaving…he couldn’t!

“Truthfully Harry – I never really loved you anyway.”

The words pierced his heart, confirming that words were worse than fists.

The pain returned vigorously. Broken and alone, Harry had gone to the Astronomy Tower, the site of so many secret trysts and he had stared at the moon again. He began to rebuild his walls, fortifying them with his anger and his hatred and his grief, encasing them in steel so no one could ever break through. ‘If no one can ever get through, I’ll never hurt again.’ He promised himself.

It became a curse.

His fear of hurt was so strong, his barriers so unshakeable that no one could get through. He withdrew from all he knew, building the walls ever stronger, ever higher and hiding behind them. Gradually the grief he had never truly allowed himself to feel crept to the surface, demanding to be let out, to be aired so he could move on – but he suppressed it.

Now his plan had become a plague upon him – he could not feel anything save anger, disgust, and bitterness. He had tried to hide it amongst the Gryffindor happiness but it was to no avail – and now his darkness was leaking out. All he had keottlottled for two years was demanding release, clamouring for freedom. Now the world believed everything written about him the year before – he was dark indeed. He could not hide behind his barriers anymore – but the damage was done. His heart was gone, for he had sent it far, far away with his feelings.

But he didn’t hurt anymore. \'If I can\'t feel, I\'ll never hurt again...\'

Never hurt again...*


Draco blinked, letting himself swim up out of the memories that Harry had obviously forgot to hide. ‘This could be more difficult that I thought.’ He smirked. ‘I wonder how the school will react when they discover that their precious Harry Potter is afraid of being hurt and that’s why he hurts everyone else?’ resolving to find out, he turned back to his homework.

When Harry entered the Great Hall the next morning, he was unprepared for the total silence that fell. As far as he knew he had done nothing wrong this time, and certainly hadn’t said anything. “Oh Harry.” Hermione breathed when he sat down.

He arched an eyebrow at her, saying nothing.

“I’m so sorry.” She said, her voice almost a sob.

“What are you talking about?” he asked as calmly as he could.

She pointed towards Draco who sat smirking at the Slytherin table. “I never knew you felt so horribly alone Harry. I knew it was something like that.”

“I beg your pardon?” Harry blinked.

“If you had’ve TOLD me you were scared of being hurt and protecting yourself no one would have jumped to conclusions.” She continued.

“What?” Harry felt himself growing ever angrier.

“Malfoy told us everything, although why you chose to open up to him I’ll never know. Moreover, Justin will get what for let me assure you. I never knew it hurt so much taking it up the…”

“Hermione!” Harry cut her off. “How in the hell do you know any of this?”

“Malfoy.” She responded promptly.

“How the FARQ does he know any of this?” Harry felt his temper slipping.

“You told him.” Hermione said gently, patting his arm. “But that doesn’t matter right now Harry, what matters is now that I finally know what is going on, I can help you.”

“I don’t want your pity.” Harry snarled.

“It’s not pity Harry!” Hermione said cheerfully.

“And I imagine you would do this for anyone?”

“Of course.”

“Ron? Ginny? Dean? Seamus?” he shot at her.

“Without question.”

“Hannah? Blaise? Colin? Denn he he continued.

“Well…”

“Cho? Pansy? MALFOY?” he spit out the last name.

“Not exactly…”

“I don’t want your help.” Harry sneered.

Hermione drew back, startled.

“You know mate, we’ve been awfully patient with you up until now.” Ron cut in abruptly, making it plain he had been eavesdropping.

“I never asked you for a thing.”

“Well we’ve asked a great deal from you and it’s our right! You are the Golden Boy Harry! Start acting like it!”

Harry felt his vision begin to cloud as his temper snapped completely.

Malfoy’s lips drew back in a rictus of a smile. “Now it’s going to get good.” He rubbed his hands together. Deciding to add a bit more fuel to the fire, he stood up. “Oy! Potter!” he called, drawing those incensed eyes towards him. “Thanks for including me in your thoughts when you wank off between classes!”

The intake of breath was audible as people shifted their eyes back and forth between Draco and Harry.


roferofessor Snape groaned and headed towards a nook in the wall that should shield him and his coffee cup from the initial blast that Harry was about to send out. ‘Not the way to woo him Draco.’ He thought, exasperated.

The fight for dominance was about to begin.

Ron steeled his jaw, prepared for the blow Harry was going to throw at him but it never came. Harry had launched himself at Malfoy and was currently pounding the daylights out of him, banging his head against the table as Malfoy fought back with all he was worth. “How the hell did he get there so quickly?”

“You didn’t see him practically fly over there?” Seamus interjected. “I have NEVER seen anyone move that fast in my entire life.”

“That was awesome!” Dean agreed, enthusiastically.

“Harry wanks off between classes?” Ginny drew her nose in a bit of a sneer.

“Sickening.”

“Disgusting.”

“Perverted.”

“About MALFOY no less!”




\"Is this how you like it Potter?\" Draco breathed into a raging Harry\'s ear. \"Rough and painful?\"

\"I want you to hurt you unmitigated shite!\" Harry practically screamed.

\"Blood is a good lubricant. Makes it even sexier.\" Draco murmured.

\"Shut up you sick, twisted farq!\"

\"You\'re hard Harry.\" Draco grinned.

\"So are you.\" Harry retorted.

\"When I get you in my bed, I\'ll remember you like it hard and rough.\"

\"I\'ll never be in your bed Malfoy.\" Harry spat as he grappled for Malfoy\'s ear.

\"I\'ll hurt you, you\'ll get even harder than you are now.\" Draco continued, ignoring everyone else. \"And I\'ll pound into you and make you realize that you can never beat me.\"

\"In your dreams Malfoy.\"

\"Nightmares actually. I have no desire to see you naked. Tell me...do you need tweezers to take a piss?\"

\"Do you need a magnifying glass to confirm you\'re male?\"

Stalemate. Neither one could get the upper hand, neither person willing to admit defeat. Roughly they were yanked apart as for a brief moment hurt blazed in Harry’s eyes before being eradicated by his rage. “ENOUGH!” Dumbledore roared. “I have had enough of this constant fighting between you two!”

Silence fell.

“Now, Harry, come with me to my office. Draco, go to the dungeons.”



“Holy shite Draco!” Blaise exclaimed. “Are you alright?”

Draco smiled malevolently. “Never better.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Crabbe interrupted.

“I reckon he must have cracked that fool of head of yours harder than we thought.” Pansy agreed.

“This is perfect.” Draco chuckled. “And tonight when he shows up, his ‘Master’ is going punish him.” he smirked. \'He is not my partner, not at all - but that doesn\'t mean I can\'t torture him. He\'s my rival, he\'s a wanking bastard and I\'ll live life alone and seeking gratification elsewhere before I ever turn to him!\' he thought, determined. \'I\'ll make him pay for pretending to be my partner and tell my father that he\'s wrong!\' his eyes gleamed with anticipation of writing that letter.

Blaise paused for a moment, not trusting that glint in Draco’s eyes. When he got that expression, running for the hills was a good option, as was honourable suicide. For a moment, he felt a twinge of pity for the Git Who Continued to Exist against All Odds – then the feeling passed. Harry would learn who the dominant one was – for there was no better teacher than Draco Malfoy.

Harry sat kicking the legs of a chair in Dumbledore’s office. “Harry, I must ask you if there is anything you wish to tell me.”

“Not a bloody thing Sir.” Harry retorted. ‘Stay out of my nessness you meddling old bastard!’

“Harry, that debacle in the Great Hall was distressing to say the least.”

‘Your worst enemy hadn’t just revealed that he is a mind rapist either!’

‘I resent that you near sighted sub!’

“You know very well we are working on House Unification in these trying times.” Dumbledore continued.

‘I know you are trying to control everyone.’ Harry fought his lip curling in a sneer.

“It’s normal to have a school yard rival.”

‘I want him dead, mounted and…’

‘You want to mount me Potter? Your dong isn’t long enough for me.’ A pause. ‘I must bathe now to rid myself of that horrifying thought.’

Harry slammed up his mental shields to keep the constant and invasive presence out. “Harry you have to try.” Dumbledore concluded. “For me.”

“For you?” Harry’s lips turned up in a parody of a smile. “For you.” He seemed to test the words, rolling them around in his mouth. “Do you play chess Professor?”

Dumbledore blinked. “Why yes, I do. I’m considered a Grand Master at it. Why?”

“Have you ever noticed how life is a lot like a game of chess, and the one controlling all the pieces is the King? And how pawns are regarded as expendable?”

“I’m afraid I don’t see…”

Harry stood up and planted his hands on Dumbledore’s desk. “Oh I think you do Professor - very well. So, let’s just drop the pretences here shall we?” he arched an eyebrow. “I’m nothing but a pawn in your silly game. You think I don’t know that if you could’ve gotten rid of Voldemort in the Fifth Year when he was in my body you wouldn’t have? You think I don’t know that you see me as the lead pawn and if I die you will say it was all prophecy?”

“Harry, you have to…”

“Follow you blindly wherohero worship the way I had for five years?” Harry shook his head. “No Dumbledore. I had an entire summer to think on this. Two years ago I believed in your cause wholeheartedly.”

“And now you don’t?” Dumbledore asked quietly.

“Now I don’t care. Once you revealed the prophecy to me, you also revealed your hand – a foolish mistake really – a true chess player conceals all their strategy until the very end.”

“You are not a pawn Harry.”

“Yes I am.” His lip curled up into a familiar sneer. “Deal with Voldemort in your own damn way and leave me out of it.” He paused. “And Malfoy is so much more to me than my rival.” He chuckled.

“What else is he to you?” Dumbledore asked, tentative.

“He’s the object of my masturbatory dreams.” H rep replied flippantly as he headed for the gargoyle to take him out of the office.

Dumbledore steepled his fingers after Harry had left. Regrettable that the boy had discovered his hand and his plan. He had moved in haste, too quickly and Harry was far too observant. “Damn chess.” He muttered as he began to formulate a new stratagem.

Harry headed towards Gryffindor Tower only to be intercepted by Professor McGonagall. “Professor.” He sighed, irritated by all this drama.

“Potter,” she began. “After some serious deliberation as well as discussion with your Housemates, Professor Dumbledore and I have come to the decision that perhaps for the time being…” she hesitated. “This isn’t permanent mind you…”

“Yes?” Harry asked, exasperated by all the hemming and hawing.

“You are to be moved out of Gryffindor.”


The plan Harry had to protect himself is the one I have around myself. Not a soul can break through my barriers. Please review and let me know what you think of this chapter! Is this any good at all? (Self confidence still needing MUCHO work) Next chapter - finally slash, snoggage along with various other goodies!

Anyone want chapter 6?