Dark Days

Dark Days Chapter five – Stay with me

Hermione leaned into Severus’ shoulder, fresh tears leaving tracks down her dirty cheeks and dampening the front of his robes. His arms held her tight against him and she clung to him desperately.

“Severus!” she cried.

“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly, gazing down at her tear stained face. His cold black eyes seemed warmer than ever before and they were full of concern.

Hermione nodded mutely, all words escaping her.

“Let’s get away from this place,” he murmured comfortingly. “I think we’ve both seen enough for one day.” He took her by the hand and began to lead her from the caves, trying unsuccessfully to shield her from some of the more disturbing scenes with his body.

Professor Flitwick sat in the entrance to the main cave at a small desk piled high with parchments. Everyone who left the caves had signed the parchment, a register of the living to accompany the rolecall of the dead. Flitwick looked wearily up to see who else approached his desk.

“Ah, Hermione dear, finally going home then? And Severus, well now, imagine that, you’re alive!” he squeaked, “We all feared you were dead.”

“No, not dead. Although I don’t feel entirely alive either.”

Hermione looked up at him sharply, he had said he was okay! He looked down at her and smiled gently, “I really am fine.” She breathed an inaudible sigh of relief.

Flitwick smiled at them both, such an unsual friendship these two had. He knew that many of the staff and members of the order had been quite shocked when the two had become close, but in his opinion it was a good thing. Severus might still be a grumpy old sod, but at least he had someone who made him happy some of the time.

“Going home now then?” he asked.

“Yes, I want to get Hermione out of here,” he replied.

“Of course of course,” he smiled again. “If you could just sign your names here, then we know that you’re okay. Then go and have some rest, you both look exhausted.”

Severus signed both their names and Hermione impulsively hugged the little man, who promptly turned a bright shade of red. “Well now…yes…” he murmured.

Severus took her hand once more and led her down the slope away, before turning a small rock into a portkey and moments later they disappeared from the mountain side.

* * * * * *

Next to the splendour and opulence of Snape manor the weary pair looked even more exhausted, dingy and hurt. Great gilded mirrors reflected their every haunted look and the deep blue carpet became grey with the dust from their robes and feet. A slight stumble on Hermione’s part lead to a smear of blood and grime on a perfectly clean wall, and Severus’ boots had trudged in god knows what that was now sticking to the carpet. ilenilently Severus led the way to the suite of rooms that Hermione had stayed in previously, he left her at the door with a silent kiss, and went himself to clean up and change his clothes.

Hermione couldn’t wait to get out of her robes and into the bath. She had never felt so dirty. She felt covered in blood, the blood of all the people she had seen die today, and all the people she had killed. Quite frankly she never wanted to touch those robes again. Abstractedly she walked through the bedroom into the bathroom and hurriedly peeled off her clothing. The pool was already filled with steaming water and Tikki was pouring liberal amounts of foam into it.

Hermione wanted to greet the little house elf but all she could manage was a weak smile.

Gratefully she slid herself into the warm water, trying desperately to shut her mind from the images of death and destruction that invaded her every thought. She was exhausted, not only from physical exertion, but the rollercoaster of emotions she had been on in the last few hours.

It seemed amazing that it was just a week ago that she and Severus had admitted that they had strong feelings for each other and had kissed for the first time in his office. She avoided the word love. It was an emotion that she didn’t feel strong enough to deal with just now.

It seemed incredible that yesterday Cho and Harry had announced their engagement and they had all celebrated with champagne and toast after toast to their happiness. How could they possibly be happy in days the these? She pushed that thought aside. Of course they could still be happy. War did not stop every good time from happening.

It seemed impossible that this morning she had sat laughing and joking with Parvati, Padma and Cho. None of them thinking about the day ahead. None of them realising that Parvati would not live to see another.

Slowly she let herself sink beneath the glittering bubbles. How long she remained submerged she could not say. It could have been seconds or hours, but when she emerged she felt oddly cleansed, purified almost. Somewhere in the distance a bell was tolling and the last light of day shone through the window turning the bath water to flame.

She swam to the far side of the pool to hoist herself out, then wrapped herself in a thick towel. Feeling too weak to magically dry her hair she merely patted it down with the towel and then tied it loosely at the nape of her neck. Finally she slipped into the same golden dressing gown that she had worn last time and entered the bedroom.

Severus was sitting on the bed, his long black hair was damp and hung listlessly against his cheeks. He held out his arms to Hermione and she hurried across the room to sit beside him. He wrapped his arms around her and she held on to him tightly.

“I thought I’d lost you,” she choked. A lone tear snaked a path down her cheek and drd mod mournfully from her chin.

“I’m right here,” he said. “It’s okay.”

“It nearly wasn’t. What if you’d died? I thought you had!”

“Hush now, it’s fine. What-ifs won’t help. I’m here and I’m safe and so are you. That’s all that matters.” He gave her a squeeze. “Look at me,” he asked.

She looked up to meet his eyes. “I’m alive. I’m here and I’m okay!” he assured her.

She smiled weakly, “I know, it’s just…”

“Just what?”

“I was so scared,” she said simply in a tiny voice.

He kissed her temples lightly and softly ran his hands across her damp hair. They sat holding one another until the sun had gone down and the room had grown dark. At last Severus rose, untangling himself from Hermione’s arms.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“We both need our rest,” he said shortly.

“Sev please don’t go, stay with me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not? Please! I don’t want to be alone,” she begged.

“Hermione it wouldn’t be fair.”

“Wouldn’t be fair on whom Severus? And why wouldn’t it be fair?” her voice had a slight edge of panic to it.

“You,” he said simply. “I’ve wanted you for a long time Hermione, longer than you’ve guessed; and never more so than tonight. I don’t think I have the strength to just lie beside you and hold you. And we’ve only been…together…” he stumbled over the phrase, “For a week. I don’t want to impose myself upon, or make you do anything you’re not ready to.”

“And how do you know what I’m ready for Severus?” The look of mischief in her eyes looked slightly forced, but it was there nonetheless. Then her look became serious. “Sit down, please. I want to tell you something.”

He hesitated for just a moment before sitting down beside her again.

“When I was younger you may know that I went out with Viktor Krum for a while.” He nodded. “Well, more than a while actually. I was in love with him, or I thought I was at least, and because of that I was too blind to see him as what he really was, and he wasn’t particularly nice. He used to pester me for ages and ages to sleep with him, but I’d continually say no. I wasn’t ready, and I told him and told him, but he carried on anyway. Then one day I gave in. I slept with him and I cried the whole time. After that he was never interested in doing anything else. I hated it and I gradually came to hate him. Then one day I said no to him again. He was shocked. He wasn’t used to not getting his own way from anyone. He argued and coaxed me for a long time, then he gave up and…”

“And what?” he asked suspiciously.

“He forced me.”

“What?!” Severus’ face was outraged.

“It’s okay! Anyway, I split up with him and hid for a long time from him. I was actually scared of him. I felt unclean. I couldn’t believe what I had done…what he had done. That’s why I’ve never had another partner since,” she bit off ‘boyfriend’ at the last second. Somehow that title seemed absurd when attached to Severus. “I’ve never really trusted men since. Until now.”

Severus looked stunned. “Does anyone else know about this?”

“Harry and Ron do, and Cho. I asked them not to tell anyone else. They had to force it out of me as it was.”

“Why did you tell me then?”

“I wanted you to know. And I wanted to explain that I do feel ready now. I know what it feels like to be imposed upon or pressured into it. And this is not how I feel now. I want you. I need you to stay with me.”

For a long time he didn’t answer. His mind was full of the news he had just received. He was also furious. If he ever saw that fuckinstarstard Krum again he would personally rip something very important out of him with his bare hands.

Hermione watched him struggle with what she had just told him. She began to grow nervous as he didn’t answer her. ‘Please say you’ll stay with me, please.’ She thought desperately. ‘I want you to, I want you so much.’

Cautiously he looked up. “Are you sure?”

She nodded, smiling.

“Absolutely sure?”

“Severus I’m positive. I know that we’ve only been ‘together’ for a short time, but I hadn’t realised just how long I’ve wanted you. I love you.”

It was that last simple statement that made Severus’ defences crumble. His eyes went wide and shock covered his features. “You love me?”

“I love you,” she said, standing up and pushing wet hair out of his face.

He stood up as well and took her in his arms again. “I love you too,” he said softly and bent down to kiss her. It was a long searing kiss that made her heart stop. His hands gently caressed her back through the thin silky material.

Slowly Hermione started to slip the robe from her shoulders. Severus gasped as more and more of her tiny exquisite body was revealed. Finally the robe had slipped to the floor leaving Hermione clad only in a slightly nervous smile. Much as she wanted Sev she had never had a good experience of sex before and was worried, well not worried but apprehensive perhaps about what she was about to do.

Quickly Severus’ shirt joined the robe on the floor and he picked Hermione up and laid her down on the bed. His hands began a minute exploration of her body, lightly touching only his fingertips against her skin. All weariness seemed for this time suspended. Hermione gazed up at Severus, her eyes taking in every detail of his semi naked body. His chest was pale but leanly muscular, with the major muscle groups outlined but not defined and there was a light sprinkling of hair covering his upper torso. Almost absently she ran her fingers through the hairs.

With trembling hands she moved down to unbutton his trousers, he smiled reassuringly at her and slipped out of the last of his clothes. The feel of skin on skin as he stretched himself out on top of her sent electric shivers through her body. She wrapped her arms around him and tentatively kissed him. He kissed her back trly,rly, his mouth fitting perfectly over hers.

Gently he ran his hands down across her arms and belly and then across the gentle swell of her breasts. His breathing started to grow deeper as he moved down her body to flutter tiny kisses across her skin. He briefly captured each nipple in his mouth before continuing his exploration of her body with his mouth. Her breathing was becoming laboured as he reached her legs and began to lavish attention upon her thighs. He ran his hand down her belly to the place between her legs. At this she gasped and he smiled even as his continued to kiss her. Gently he stroked her, gradually pushing his finger inside, finally he pushed one finger right up inside her, to be reward with a low moan.

At length he moved his mouth to where his fingers had been, swirling his tongue around her clitoris and down into her vagina. This elicited a shiver of pleasure that ran through her whole body. Severus continued his attentions there for some time, kissing and caressing her until she was breathing heavily.

Hermione was surprised at herself. Or rather at the lack of embarrassment she felt about being naked in front of Severus. Always before she had tried to hide herself from view, but now it just felt right to lie here like this with him. And his mouth between her legs brought a whole new meaning to the word pleasure. Viktor had never been one for foreplay. Just then Severus swirled his tongue against her clitoris and all such thoughts vanished, the only thing on her mind was how fabulous it felt to be with Sev.

After long minutes that felt like forever Hermione felt Severus sliding up her body until he covered her once more. Fervently she kissed him and the taste of herself on his lips aroused her still further. She could feel his hardness against his thigh and the feeling excited her.

Slowly he began to push himself inside her, she bit her lip and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. God that hurt. He was bigger that Krum and having not had sex in years her muscles had tightened up, meaning that this hurt like hell.

“Relax,” murmured Severus in her ear.

She nodded and loosened her muscles as much as she could.

“Are you okay?”

She could find now words to answer him, but she opened her eyes, nodded and kissed him softly on the lips. He smiled and started to push himself slowly in and out, never withdrawing completely.

Slowly the pain began to ease off and to her astonishment she found that she was actually enjoying this. Feeling Severus moving deep inside her and pressing down on top of her with his body made her feel fantastic. As the pain retreated still further she found that she was unconsciously pushing her hips up to join his. He smiled again, captivated by her un-practiced charm. He kissed her passionately. Her hands were entwined in his hair.

Severus’ movements began to speed up and Hermione moaned loudly, feeling not the slightest shred of embarrassment. He pushed his pelvic bone against her stimulating her clit even as he moved within her. It seemed vitally important to him for her to come. He needed it. Although in all honesty he did not know if he could hold on much longer. She felt so good and he’d been wanting this for so long. The mere sight of her body had been enough to arouse him, and now it was almost unbearable.

It happened all at once. Her breathing was coming in short ragged gasps and she cried out, pressing herself against the bed and arching her back. Her climax drew him on and he let out a low moan of pleasure. They lay still for some time, he wrapped his arms around her, but did not remove himself from within her.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently again.

She smile at at him. “Never better!”

He kissed her deeply and she ran her hands down his back, causing him to shiver this time. At length he rolled off her and lay beside her. All the exhaustion from the day returned, but it was a happy exhaustion now. Hermione snuggled up against him and he pulled her close. He kissed her forehead and she nuzzled sleepily into his shoulder.

It wasn’t long before she was asleep. He could feel he soft breaths against his chest. It felt so good to hold her like this, and tired as he was he was reluctant to sleep. He didn’t want to dream about today, he wanted to be there for Hermione if she needed him, and he was enjoying watching her sleep. Eventually, his eyes closed of their own accord.

“I love you,” he muttered softly even as sleep took him.