To Protect

AN: I want to thank all those that reviewed with answers. I hope that you all get some answers in this chapter. I will be doing a chapter with Severus's POV soon to explain some events in this chapter, but not right away because I worry it may spoil a few things if I do it too soon. Hope you enjoy!

Warning: This story contains sexual content between two males.

To Protect

Chapter Five

They were standing, a few feet between them, staring in quiet contemplation. Harry could feel the nervousness in his fingertips, the quaking of his body, and as if at any moment the floor beneath him would give out. The anger in Severus's eyes was replaced by something Harry could not quite identify.

“Can you just trust me this once,” Harry finally questioned, breaking their silence.

“Why are you so...”

“Brilliant? Stubborn? An all around swell guy?”

“Pushy,” Severus added. Harry smiled, his heart finally restarting in his chest. At least Severus was joking. Harry could feel the lightness of the air around them and was suddenly eased by it. He breathed in deeply and walked forward. They took their usual places on the couch and tea immediately appeared on the table top.

“Earlier,” Severus started ,sounding astonishingly timid. “What I said...it was unforgivable, Harry.”

Harry jerked at the gentleness in the man's voice. It was too unlike the older man, and it was startling him. Severus Snape did not apologize – not to the likes of him, any way.

“I had taken my frustration out on you. I was in the wrong,” Severus continued. “If you can find the ability to forgive me, I will do better in the future.”

Harry let out a breath he had not realized he had been holding. Their eyes met and it sparked heat to swell within him. It was the very first he had seen the man so forlorn and defeated. The smile touched his lips as he gazed at the older man's hands clenched and oddly straight at his sides in the chair.

“I forgive you,” Harry replied immediately and meant it. It would seem he was not the only one broken; not that he would believe he was after the man served years under Voldemort, subjected to years upon years of Crutacius curses and torture of other kind. The raven haired wizard's mind was sure to be warped. It was apparent that the taller wizard was trying though.

“Well then,” Harry said moving forward to the topic at hand. “About Henry...”

Severus went stiff and looked up from his tea. Those obsidian depths danced with a large collection of emotions – raw and beautiful. Harry broached the topic carefully; if it was one thing he had recently learned, Severus did not trust others easily. It would seem that Severus had begun to trust him, however – call it intuition.

Harry cleared his throat. “What made you suspect him?”

“He was the closest to you,” Severus started. “I had seen him following you on occasion, keeping a watch over you that exceeded friendship. The day your water was poisoned, he was placing it onto the table just before I entered.”

Harry thought through the observations Severus had put forward. “Henry had disclosed to me how he had been suspecting I was a target several weeks ago. He mentioned my tampered wards and the poison in the water. He had taken a bit for analysis.”

“Why would he not remove it entirely if he suspected it may be poisoned?” Severus posed. Harry was struck silent by the question. It was valid. If Henry had suspected he was being poisoned, why not remove the glass? If the glass was poisoned as he suspected, Harry would have suffered the poison any way. Harry felt his stomach tighten impossibly.

“Why did he not take you aside first or upon your return to disclose this information?” Severus continued. “It would have been an action any friend would not wait to make. If he had suspected I was trying to poison you, he would have spoken to you much sooner than today after finding you in the corridor.”

“How did you know I was in the corridor?” Harry suddenly realized that bit of information was not discussed earlier.

“I have always had you within a few feet of myself,” Severus replied evenly.

“Then,” Harry said softly. “Why did you let me go with him?”

“I believe it was you who were determined to find the truth,” Severus finally said after a moment's silence. “I will admit, your words struck me. I was unable to refute them. In the war, you had fought valiantly despite the knowledge that it would be at the expense of your own life. You recovered me from Nagini's bite...” Severus's eyes glittered by the fire light. “However, I was no longer able to stand by when you did not leave after twenty minutes of waiting..I feared the worst.”

Harry was no longer breathing. He must be dreaming. Severus would never reveal so much about himself unless this was in fact a dream. He pinched his leg and hissed in response to the pain.

“What in Merlin's name are you doing?”

“Just checking,” Harry whispered as the blush stained his cheeks. Oh Merlin, he wasn't dreaming.

“I have treated you in a way you did not deserve,” Severus said with strain evident on his brow. “...I do not know how to proceed with this relationship. I am...inexperienced in the realm of intimacy.”

Harry pinched his leg again. Yeah, it was stinging. He shifted forward on the sofa and gazed at the man intensely; partly for fear that he would disappear as if a mirage and partly because he needed to steady himself so that he did not fly away.

“You carry your mother's infinite optimism in you,” Severus redirected. Harry was almost lost as to how the conversation had derailed but listened quietly. “Lily was always walking forward, despite any obstacle or person in her path. She was capable of tears and discouragement but would quickly recover the smile on her face. She was so very bright and kind. She always thought the best of others...of me. It was a quality that I valued greatly in her; it was what I aspired to become...” Harry's heartbeat was in his ears as the man's voice trailed. “It was originally true that I was protecting you solely on her memory – an atonement. However, over the last year, it has not been so.”

Harry had grasped his knees tightly and released them only when he caught sight of how white his knuckles had become. Settling back into his seat, he watched the raw emotion play over the older wizard's face.

“Why are you telling me all this?” Harry was hopeful as all that Severus had revealed had both proven him right and wrong. What had finally made the man admit to it all? Harry's breathing was shallow, and he felt slightly light-headed with the amount of information he was trying to digest.

“It was owed to you,” Severus replied simply. “I prided myself on my ability to control my emotions, but over the past week, I have been unable to in any connection with you. It was startling to what degree I was reacting to the simplest of circumstances.” Severus was staring at the flames, his face cast in the glow. It was breathtaking and real. Harry knew the courage it had taken to open yourself to another person. He had only days before revealed a part of himself that was particularly raw. The man's every word made his heart beat quicken. Every emotion that danced in those eyes sunk deep into Harry, burying into his core.

“I will trust you,” Harry finally said as he gazed at the flames. “I do not know to what extent Henry's involvement is, but it is clear he has holes in his story.”

Severus was silent as they sat watching the flames in the hearth and said nothing more. It was a silence that was both comforting and promising.

HPSSHPSS

At the end of the week, Harry had returned from the dinner in the main hall none the wiser. He was able to avoid conversing too deeply with Henry, but there was something in the other man's actions that was different, unrecognizable to him. Henry had not been his usual laid-back, take-things-as-they-come self. He seemed a bit persistent to get Harry out of Severus's care. Harry had politely turned him down with a stiff and quietly seething Potion's professor at his side.

Settling down with a few first year papers, he quietly set to grading them while his mind wandered. He heard the soft footsteps of the tall wizard echo before he heard the rustle of clothing beside him.

“I believe desks were created for this very purpose,” Severus taunted lightly as he took a seat beside Harry on the sofa. It was a small thing, but his heart was thumping like a drum as a result. Harry became overly aware of their closeness as he shifted away slightly.

“Yes, well, I prefer to not be so stiffly placed in a desk at all hours,” Harry commented as he marked through the essay. He could feel the hairs on his arm reacting as if attracted to the friction of their closeness.

Severus had grown conversational. By no means would the man “chit-chat” as he often referred to it, but he was inquiring more to Harry's day of lessons or complaining of a student or two in his classes and their inability to create a successful potion.

Harry was not quite sure where they stood exactly. The air was much more relaxed, friendly even, but Severus no longer touched him him in any way. It was as if the man had grown distant and close all at the same time. Harry felt frustrated and had almost asked a few times for the older wizard to clarify their relationship. However, Severus had made it clear to him that he was inexperienced with relationships, and Harry could not claim he was at all experienced. Instead, he sent an owl to the only person aware of his affection for Severus. Hermione.

Dear Harry,

I have been made aware of certain occurrences at Hogwarts and want to assure you that you have my full support. As pertaining to what you inquired after, you will have to tread lightly. Professor Snape is a very proud man. I doubt it was easy for him to reveal so much. I was slightly astonished that he revealed to that degree, unbidden. It shows a true attempt on his part for creating a dialogue. I would be patient and allow him to set the pace. Regardless, if he should ever hurt you, I will make it my personal vendetta that he is punished for it.

Its a girl, Harry. Ron wants to name her Gloria, but can you imagine it? What a horrid name. Well I doubt he'll be able to contrive a beautiful name so I will be leaving it in her godfather's care. Could you choose a name?

Love,

Hermione

Harry had pondered the news and was both utterly frightened and elated by it. How could he possibly name a little child that was not his own? Harry let out a sigh and the body beside him shifted. Severus was gazing at him with an inquisitive stare.

“Something bothering you, Harry?”

Before this, Harry would have never believed that Severus was capable of such a question, but over the past week, the man had shown a side of himself Harry had never thought possible. Severus had once referred to himself as an unkind man, but Harry was no longer convinced that was the truth. Harry gathered Severus distanced himself in order to keep others from getting too close. Not that he was an expert on the man in only a few weeks of confidence, but he was wiser by them.

“Hermione has asked me to name their baby,” he replied finally.

“Ah, the Weasley baby,” Severus responded smoothly. “I assume the gender was revealed?”

“Yes,” Harry said smiling. “Its a girl.”

There was a spark in the man's eyes that Harry vaguely registered as envy, but it faded away to his usual stark gaze. “I am sure you will choose something fitting. I do not suspect she would request this of you lightly.”

Harry nodded but continued to gaze unseeing at the essay he had been grading.

“Harry,” the silky baritone roused him from his daze. He gazed over to the other wizard, his body on alert when he felt Severus shift closer. “You should rest.” Severus's breath was caressing his face; he itched to reach out and slide his hand across the crease of the older man's brow, down the angular cheek, trailing over chin and neck until finally reaching the heart where he wondered if the pounding would match his own. Harry was leaning, inches from the other man, but there was a sadness in the older man's gaze that halted his progression.

“You need to rest,” Severus repeated as he stood from the sofa. “I will retire for the evening. Should you need anything...”

“The house-elf,” Harry ended knowing the man's routine words. “I know. Thank you. Good night.”

His heart was rampant as the taller wizard disappeared. He placed his hand to his chest, holding it there as he searched the area and finding nothing to answer the sharp pain to his heart.

HPSSHPSS

Harry walked down the hall, his head turned towards the sunlight streaming through the tall mosaics. It was a beautiful Saturday; many of the students had traveled to Hogsmeade to enjoy the splendors of town, but Harry was grounded. He barely caught himself as he went headlong into a hard body and nearly lost his footing.

“Daydreaming,” Henry laughed as he caught Harry's arm and helping him to steady. “Feels like I haven't seen you all week.”

“Yeah,” Harry said as he pulled away from the touch. “I've been busy grading and catching up with my lessons.”

“How about we play a match? The field should be free by now, and I could use a bit of a work out.” Henry slapped his stomach suggestively. “Too many cakes and biscuits.”

Harry was unable to withhold his answering chuckle. He was alert however to the suggestion. Severus was just barely beginning to trust him, but the only way he was going to discover whether or not Henry was trying to poison him was to leave himself open while maintaining his vigilance.

“I'm game,” he answered and followed Henry out to the quidditch field.

Harry dodged a bludger that nearly hit him and raced after the snitch. Henry was hot on his tail as they raced into the blueness of the sky. The wind felt amazing against his body as he glided and dipped through the air. The sun was warming him and freeing his thoughts as he chased down the elusive golden ball.

Finally, he was able to snatch the little golden ball from the sky. He laughed as he heard the groan from behind him.

“I was nearly there!” Henry shouted as they made their way to the ground.

“Uh huh,” Harry laughed as he landed. “A sore loser as usual.”

“I am merely animated in my loss,” Henry corrected as he ran large hands through his hair and let out a deep breath. “Well I should have known I couldn't best you at the snitch...”

“Not even close,” Harry teased.

Henry relaxed on the grass and motioned for Harry to join him. The two sat, side by side, looking up at the few clouds that lazily glided through the sky.

“So what is going on, Harry? Do you really believe I could betray you?” Henry asked bluntly. “I may be many things, but it isn't a traitor. I may not be book smart like Professor Snape, but I know when I'm being avoided and suspected.”

“I don't..”

“You do,” Henry said softly. “You think it may be me. I am not really sure how I will be able to convince you, but I could never hurt you Harry. You are too important to me.” Henry had shifted to lay on his side, striking blue eyes glittering with seriousness. It had always been games with Henry. Harry was not even aware the big wizard had a serious side until recently.

Harry was conflicted as he gazed back at his friend? Enemy? Nothing made sense as he sat there in silence. Harry was suddenly aware of the coloration of the sky and jumped up. “I need to get back.”

“To him,” Henry offered as he stood from the ground and brushed grass from his pants. “He can't give you what you need Harry...” Henry was moving closer, his arm reaching out and grasping Harry's wrist. “You need someone strong and kind.”

“He is strong and kind,” Harry heard himself arguing.

“Kind? Not in the way you need him to be,” Henry said as he moved closer. They were out in the open, but the bigger man did not hesitate to close the distance between them. Harry had not been vigilant enough as the large hand grasped the backside of his neck. “You need someone who can return your gaze without hesitation.” Fingertips tickled the sensitive skin and teased into his wind-tossed hair.

Harry's eyes had gone wide and was suddenly pushing as hard as he could at the bigger man.

“Have I interrupted yet again? It would seem you care little for your surroundings or just who might be watching,” a voice unmistakable in its singular enunciation and menacing tone interrupted his movements. Henry had gone rigid but did not move away from Harry. Instead, he pulled him into his torso and stared at the raven-haired man head on.

Severus was composed, but his eyes were blazing with his withheld rage. Harry could almost instantly recognize the killing intent. He was no maiden in distress, however. He pushed hard this time and threw Henry off balance before stalking off. The two men he left behind were merely able to watch him leave.

Harry was dazed by Henry's actions. It would be a lie if he did not admit that some of the man's words had struck a chord with him. However, Harry had been unmoving in his feelings for Severus. If he could simply do away with them, he would have already; now, he was going to hold them close. Even if what they were sharing was only a friendship, Harry was going to hold his feelings for Severus. He may not have a great past with the older man, but he had been proven time and time again that Severus was the only one capable of moving his heart. Severus had been the reason he had been able to look toward tomorrow.

When Severus arrived in the rooms they shared, it was clear he was frustrated; whether it be by Harry's actions or Henry, he was sure to be finding out. Severus stalked forward and came within an inch of Harry's body.

“You once more endangered yourself,” he seethed.

“I am trusting you,” Harry reminded. “I would like it if you returned that trust. I am trying to figure out just what Henry's motive is.”

“He wants you for himself,” Severus argued. The man's body was rigid with anger. Harry felt his heart stirring again.

“That may be so,” Harry did not deny it. It was clear what Henry had implied earlier. “It does not change the fact that I entrusted you with my protection, and I will discover the truth.”

“Harry,” Severus finally said as his shoulders went lax. “You are too trusting and entirely too vulnerable to attack.”

“I am not,” Harry felt his own anger rumble within. “You need to stop holding me to this image you have created, Severus. I am not that child anymore. If I was, I would not be teaching at the best school in the wizarding world.”

They were at a stalemate as they stood, but Harry was not going to give into the older wizard this time. Severus would need to learn to trust him to take care of himself if things were to get difficult; Severus had made great strides, but they would not get anywhere if they continued to fight in circles.

“I will be there should anything go array,” Severus stated before taking a seat. It was Harry who chose to sit next to the man on the sofa. Their bodies were almost touching as they sat side by side. “You are unbelievably stubborn...”

“Yes,” Harry smiled in response. “I have often been told that.”

“You continue to march without hesitation into danger despite any damage it may do to you as a result,” Severus continued with his eyes now on Harry's.

“I cannot deny that,” Harry laughed. “I almost always make it out unscathed though.”

Severus snorted his reply but there was a small upturn of the man's lips. Harry wanted desperately to ask the Potion's professor what their relationship was, but instead, he watched the older wizard silently, contemplatively. Hermione had told him to allow Severus to set the pace. It was obvious that Severus had been a bit more willing to hear out Harry's intentions. Harry had been boggled by the man's every move and response since Severus revealed a great deal about himself. Harry still had difficulty not believing it a dream.

Harry could not, however, hold back his hand when the man's eyes were suddenly covered in that stark hair; he reached out and brushed aside the silky locks, tucking them behind Severus's ear so that he could fully see the older wizard's face. The action caused the Potion's master to not only stiffen but intake a sharp breath as well. Harry almost immediately regretted it; however, his hand was grabbed before he could pull it away and held midair for several moments. Harry's heart began to pound, his stomach fluttered, and his breathing nearly stopped all together as those long, delicate fingers held his. As if pulled out of a trance, Severus released Harry's hand and abruptly stood. The older man stood as if in a daze for several minutes. Harry almost found himself calling out to the Potion's professor but Severus seemed to gather his thoughts.

“I shall be in my study,” Severus began to say evenly. “Should you need anything...”

“The house elf?” Harry asked lightly. Their eyes met and there was a flare between them, an unspoken feeling, before Severus was smirking.

“You may knock on my door,” Severus continued. “And I will be at your service.”

“Oh,” Harry replied as if the wind had been drawn out of his lungs. “I-I'll just do that then...if I should need anything, that is.”

“See that you do,” Severus's eyes danced with humor. Harry was once more left in the sitting room both confused by the man's every action but also hopeful; his heart and stomach would not calm down even after he finished what was suppose to be 'calming' tea. Harry was at a loss. Whenever he was alone with Severus, all he could think about was the older man; he could only manage a few stray thoughts outside of these rooms but almost always his thoughts strayed to Severus.

Was this a mere crush or something greater? Every word or action that Severus made caused his heart to hope; he was hoping for something that may never happen.

“Is this love,” he questioned to himself quietly. Oh Merlin, he was...in love with Severus Snape.

Harry's stomach dropped, and he could feel the forming lump in his throat. Harry could not seem to manage to stay away from the reality that he almost always was attracted to things...persons that could never return his affection.

He immediately took to writing Hermione a letter. If anyone could give him some sort of understanding in his newest unfortunate discovery, it was her. Harry hid away into his room, and when he was finished with his letter, sent it on its way to her. Oh Merlin, he had really chosen a great time to fall in love...you know, with someone after his life, and he and Severus just barely managing to keep together a friendship...partnership? What ever this relationship was turning out to be, Harry did not want to threaten it will his newly found definition on his own feelings.

HPSSHPSS

The letter came early the next morning which was surprising since it would have meant she replied immediately in the evening. Harry had been hiding in his room, grading a few more of the student essays, mostly to keep himself away from anyone or anything that could potentially make things worse.

Dear Harry,

When I received your letter, I knew I must immediately respond. How difficult it must be for you! I was, in the past, in the very same place as you. When I realized my love for Ron, it was very difficult to not rush telling him my feelings. I waited and things got...well, misunderstood. However, Ron and Professor Snape are very different, and we are not children in school anymore. I fear, it would be best that you allow things to continue like they are. You are not entirely sure what Professor Snape feels for you; he must have some sort of attraction, but is it the same as yours?

In order to not rush, you will need a little distance between you and Professor Snape. It would be best, until you can calm these feelings slightly, that you do not spend too much time with him. Only until you are able to control your feelings, Harry. I do not want you to make a mistake that may lead to a misunderstanding. So do not avoid him, merely make chances alone less likely by keeping to yourself.

In regards to Professor Ginley, I do believe that you should trust Professor Snape. I may have not liked the man during our years at Hogwarts, but he was always been protecting you in the shadows. He was also a very big reason you decided to return as a professor, do you remember? I trust his instincts as he was a spy for a very long time. I would not try anything too hasty as he is merely doing it in your best interest.

We miss you dearly. I will be waiting for the time when you can write me a letter filled with happiness, Harry.

All my love,

Hermione

Harry reread the letter several times before setting it down on his desk. Harry felt slightly better that he could hold confidence with anyone; Hermione had never judged him when he revealed to her his attraction to not only a man but Severus Snape. She was more than supportive and encouraging. He could hope for nothing more in a confidant.

Several knocks came at his door. He immediately shoved the letter into his writing desk and made his way to it. Severus stood beyond, dressed down in a maroon long-sleeve and black dress trousers. His hair was pulled back, revealing the scar inflicted by Nagini in the war. Harry's eyes trailed up to the impassive expression and onyx-colored irises.

“I thought you might join me,” Severus began looking a bit stiff and sounding a bit less like himself.

“Join you?” Harry asked with a raised brow.

“I will be heading to Hogsmeade for a few errands and thought you might want to join me if you were not otherwise engaged.”

Harry was left speechless as the man before him straightened further, arms at his sides, and then proceeded to close the distance a bit between them. “It would be a great honor to me if you were to accept.” If he was not already shocked speechless by the sudden request, Harry would have lost all ability to speak upon the second admission. 'Oh Merlin, and even after Hermione told me not to go anywhere alone with him...' he thought as he battled his conflicting feelings.

He realized he had been standing silent for several minutes, and Severus was growing impatient. “Uh yeah...that would be lovely.” 'Oh bloody hell, that came out as if the man had just asked me out on a date. I'm a bloody idiot!'

“Very well,” Severus said coolly though it looked like his shoulders had relaxed a bit. “Once you are ready, we will depart.” Severus pivoted on his heels and was immediately gone. Harry had to take a minute just to settle his overly active thoughts. It was by far the least expected occurrence he could have imagined to happen today.

Instead of thinking more on it, Harry set out to make himself presentable with a green cardigan over a white top and some denim jeans. He tamed his hair as best his could, washed his face, and put on a bit of cologne that Hermione had gifted him for his birthday last year. He never wore it much, but he felt this would be a good time to. Date or not, he was looking forward to spending a day with Severus. He only hoped that he would not somehow mess it up in any way.

When he had finally made his way out into the sitting room, Severus was there waiting, his hands placed tightly on his knees, white knuckled, and his back stiff. As soon as Harry strode over to him, the man jolted from the seat as if he had sat on a spike and immediately met Harry's gaze.

“We will use the Floo,” Severus stated. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” Harry breathed as he stepped toward the fireplace. “As ready as I can be,” he whispered to himself.

TBC...