Living

Sorry about this little filler chapter, but after the last bombshell I dropped at the end of chapter 4, this chapter needed to be written.

Living: Chapter 5

Snape having finally fallen asleep, was rudely awakened by the continual scratching at his magical window. Dumbledore had allowed the window to be placed here, many years ago, when Snape's life as a double spy had required him to communicate with several outside parties.

"Bloody Hell! Who is sending me mail at this time of the night?"?" Severus opened the window to let the snowy, white owl fly in and land on his table. The owl stuck out his leg allowing Severus to retrieve the message. The owl sat for a moment until Severus looked up and scowled at the creature, "I have nothing to give you…out!" Harry's owl made a quick retreat to return to Gryffindor tower.

Snape opened up the note angrily, wondering whom he would be reprimanding the next day for interrupting his silence.

"Dear Professor Snape,

I am sorry if I have caused any distress in your life. I know I stepped out of bounds as your student and I ask for your forgiveness. I may not be your student for much longer. So you will be able to put this whole incidence behind you. Thank you for showing such kindness.

Sincerely,

Hermione Granger

Oh Gods! What was the emotional twit going to do now? She would probably go to Minerva in the morning and confess the whole thing, getting both thrown out of Hogwarts. Severus fumed as he thought of his options of how to stop Hermione; after all, it hadn't been all of her fault. He had been the one to kiss her first, and then she had kissed him back.

Severus quickly dressed in his school robes and left the dungeons, disillusioning himself as he walked out his doors. He also set a silencing charm on his feet so he could move quietly throughout the castle, and he made his way up to Gryffindor tower. Some how he needed to convince, or more likely persuade Hermione not to leave Hogwarts and also not to say a word to Minerva.

As he came to the portrait of the fat lady, she sat in her frame snoring loudly. He heard the echoes of her snores ringing down the hallway. Being a teacher, and a head of house, he could magically open the door without disturbing the fat lady. Walking into the Gryffindor common room almost made him vomit. All the red was a ghastly sight and so very garish. No wonder the Gryffindors acted like such bleeding hearts with this red mess to influence them. His bigger problem was going to be finding Hermione's room. Using his power of flight, he could make it up to the girl's dormitories and started looking into the rooms.

Finally, he found the right room and spotted Hermione across the room with her fluffy hair poking out of the covers. Still being disillusioned, he bent down and covered Hermione's mouth with his hand. He started to pick her up out of bed when Hermione's eyes flew open in fright. She started to struggle and hit at whatever was molesting her. Severus decided to show himself to her before she woke the rest of the girls up. Hermione's eyes grew wide as she looked at Professor Snape. She quit struggling and Severus removed his hand telling her softly, "Don't say a word".

Hermione motioned yes, and allowed Snape to pick her up in his arms, and he disillusioned them both and he left Gryffindor tower.

Severus was not sure where he should take her, and not having many choices, he went back to the dungeons and the safety of his own rooms. He was well aware, regardless of where he took her at this time of the night, it would be highly inappropriate. However, he also reasoned, that no one could break through the wards on his chambers, so they would be able to discuss freely the situation.

Severus noticed Hermione looking wide-eyed around his chambers. She was so busy staring at his furnishings and bookshelves; he might as well have not been in the room. He also noticed how child like she looked in her long, white, flannel night gown, and he felt even more like a pervert having her here in his chambers.

Hermione finally turned around and looked at him with her sleepy eyes. She looked so breathtaking at that moment, he had to take a deep breath and exhale slowly. All he wanted to do right now was walk over there and run his fingers through her wild hair. Then he imagined tilting her head back and ravishing her lips once again. Oh he was in trouble! This had probably not been the best idea to bring her back here to his chambers; especially with his bedroom being only a few feet away. Couldn't she sense that she should be running back, as fast as she could, to Gryffindor Tower? She was alone with a man, who hadn't been with a woman for a very long time, and earlier he had been wanking off thinking about her.

To say that Hermione had been shocked, waking up to Professor Snape in her room would be an understatement. At first, she thought she had been having a dream, until she smelled the fire whisky rolling off of him. Was he drunk and why was he here in her room? When he lifted her out of bed she knew that she should have protested, but she was too curious to see where he would take her.

As he walked them down to the dungeons, there was an initial surge of fright. Once again, though, her great need to know things overcame any feeling of unease. Entering Professor Snape' s chambers took her breath away. She could have never imagined his rooms being so "normal". The black leather couches, along with the tall oak bookshelves, filled to overflow, grabbed her undivided attention. For a moment, she had forgotten who had brought her here and wanted to start perusing the volumes sitting on the shelves.

Hermione turned back towards Snape and waited for him to say something. She noticed how he stood and gawked at her. His eyes went up and down from her head to her toes and back again. She stood uncomfortably there as he gazed at her in her white nightgown. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the door to his bedroom wide opened. There sat a huge, king- sized bed with black silk sheets and a canopy overhead. What would he think if he knew that earlier that night, while she relieved herself of her "problem", she had dreamed of him taking her in his bed? She could feel her cheeks flare red in embarrassment. Professor Snape still stood there and Hermione was starting to become inpatient.

"Well, Professor, why am I here? I am sure, there must be a good reason, to kidnap me in the middle of the night and bring me to your chambers." The look on his face was priceless, and he began to glare back at her. Hermione triumphantly smiled at having gotten a reaction out of her stern Professor.

What nonsense was coming out of the girl's mouth now? For her to imply that he had kidnapped her was…was…well, in a way very true! What in Merlin's name had he been thinking? It must have been all the fire whiskey, he had consumed, and that had befuddled his brain. It had just taken him by surprise for her to accuse of him of kidnapping her. After all, it was Hermione who had sent him the note late at night.

"I need to know what your plans are. Do you intend to go and cry your heart out to Professor McGonagall?" Severus spoke harshly to her as he stood nose to nose with Hermione. "For if that is your intention, Miss Granger, I cannot allow it. I will not have my life ruined by some young, love sick girl." As soon as Severus spoke the words, he could see the hurt crossing Hermione's face. This had not been his purpose in bringing her here, but he needed to do what was best for the both of them.

"I had no plans on telling…anyone what occurred between the two of us. For your information, I am not in love with you." Severus could see that she was trembling as she stood there facing him. "I am leaving Hogwarts, so that should make your life happy once again; all alone here in your lonely rooms in the dungeons."

Hermione started walking to the door when Severus reached out to grab her arm," Please stop…we still need to talk" He could see the surprise in her eyes. He had never used the word please before in her presence.

"What do we need to still talk about Professor? I think that you made yourself perfectly clear. There is no place in your life for me." Severus could not understand why this girl was making him feel things he never had felt before. What was she doing to him? He reached out and smoothed down her unruly hair. This one action made Hermione tremble once again.

"I keep getting mixed signals from you sir, I can't keep living like this." With a sad look gracing her face, she reached up and took down his hand. "I will not say a word about what happened tonight. All I ask of you is that you decide once and for all what you want from me. It may not be anything at all, but I am tired of the games." A weary look surrounded Hermione as she stopped talking. "Would you please take me back to Gryffindor Tower? I do not wish to be given a detention."

Severus nodded his head, "As you wish Miss Granger." He was too tired and too drunk to think clearly, so he did as she asked. Neither one spoke a word as they walked through the dark and quiet halls of Hogwarts. When they came to the portrait of the fat lady they looked up and their eyes met. There was clearly more both wanted to say to each other, but neither one knew how to express the words.

"Good night Miss Granger." Snape gave a short nod of the head.

"Good night Professor Snape" Hermione entered the common room. She promptly dropped onto the sofa closest to the entryway and let the tears freely fall. Why did life always have to be this way for her? When would something ever work out for her? Was a loving, honest relationship always going to be beyond her reach? None of the thoughts running through her mind were helping to stop the despair she felt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Outside Severus walked slowly backed to his chambers. Nothing had gone the way he had wanted it to tonight. There was a small ache growing inside of him as he thought of the hurt look on Hermione's face. What should he do now? Hadn't he gotten his way in demanding Hermione's silence? For some reason, there had been no satisfaction in her giving in to his demands. He had almost hoped that she would have fought back a little. He hadn't meant to totally demoralize her, but there was more at stake here than either one of their feelings.

Stumbling down the stairs he vowed to discard any fire whiskey left in his chambers. It hadn't been the wisest choice for him tonight, right up there with wandering drunk up to Gryffindor Tower and bringing Hermione down to the dungeons in the middle of the night. Damn, bloody alcohol! Damn, Hermione Granger.

What is our dear Professor Snape going to do now? Will Hermione do something to stir up his ire? You will have to come back for chapter 6 to see who makes the next move. Please review and let me know what you think. Should they let propriety go and develop this relationship? Or should we have many more chapters of angst and cat and mouse games? Let me know!