W.I.B
folder
Harry Potter Crossovers › General - Misc
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
10
Views:
2,806
Reviews:
33
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter Crossovers › General - Misc
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
10
Views:
2,806
Reviews:
33
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Harry Potter, Men In Black series and/or characters, nor have I made or will make, any money or profit from these writings.
I'm fat
“Gods Peter, I’m soooooooooo bored!” wailed Voldemort.
Peter Pettigrew cursed under his breath. It was never good when the Dark Lord became bored. It usually meant an Imperius curse cast upon the nearest Death Eater to perform a few of the Dark Lord’s favorite show tunes and since currently he was the only Death Eater around, it would mean he would end up being the poor sod.
Gods. There was just no way he could squeeze into the Liza Minnelli Cabaret costume.
Frantically, he started pulling suggestions out of his arse.
“Let’s watch ‘Cats!’ You like ‘Cats.’ Oh, that silly Rum Tum Tugger! He's so finicky!”
“No.” came the petulant reply.
“Want to torture some Muggles? That’s always good for a laugh!”
“No.”
“Let’s go shopping for wigs and frocks! That always cheers you up!”
“No.”
Peter began to sweat.
“I know! I’ll fetch a pedicurist. Nothing like a good foot pampering, eh?”
Voldemort looked down at his toenails painted with ‘My Pretty Pony’ pink, thoughtfully.
“Well………no.”
Peter could feel his armpits dripping. He picked up a board game and shook it.
“How about a game of ‘Die, Harry Potter!’ You’re so good at it!”
“It’s no fun with just two and we don’t have a Muggle to be Harry Potter.”
The Dark Lord was becoming sullen.
Not good.
Peter was just about to give up and resign himself to singing ‘Life is a cabaret’ in fishnets and a bowler hat when a package appeared above their heads and plopped to the floor.
“It’s here!” Voldemort squealed, clapping his hands. “Precious, come see!”
Nagini slithered around to the front of the throne and glanced idly at the white box wrapped with a red bow that her master was waving in the air.
Voldemort ripped off the lid and let out another squeal.
“Oh, it’s perfect!” he gushed as he pulled out his new flame red Little Orphan Annie costume, complete with a carrot top curly wig. Peter could have cried with relief.
With a flick of wand, Voldemort was dressed in his new costume, wig firmly on top of his head.
“Well?! What do you think?”
“Wonderful, my Lord!” Peter answered, dabbing at his forehead.
“And just see how it shows off my legs!”
“No one has stems like yours, my Lord.”
And that was the truth. Literally. No one alive had those knobby of knees.
“We have to celebrate! I want a revel!”
“Brilliant idea, my liege!”
“With balloons.”
“Naturally.”
“And cupcakes!”
“Of course!”
“Some Muggles too!”
“It wouldn’t be a party with them!”
“This weekend. You make the arrangements, Peter.”
“It would be my pleasure, Sir.”
With another flick of his wand, the opening bars of ‘Tomorrow’ began to play. Stepping into the middle of the room, Voldemort posed, turning one knee into the other and clasping his hands together over his chest.
“Oh, Potter will die
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom sickle that tomorrow
He’ll be dead!
Just thinking about
Dead Potter
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow
Till there’s none.
When I’m stuck with a day
That’s gray
And lonely
I can stick out my chin
And grin
And say
Ooooohhhhhhhh!
Potter will die
Tomorrow
So I gotta hang on ‘til tomorrow
Come what may!
Toooomorrow!
Toooomorrow!
I’ll kill him
Tomorrow
He’s always a day
Aaaaaaaway!”
“Fabulous!” Peter shouted clapping furiously as the Dark Lord curtsied to an invisible full house.
Nagini had fallen asleep.
Voldemort considered himself in a mirror for a dangerous amount of time.
“I think I’m getting fat.”
Ah Gods.
-----------------------------------
A/N: Tambrathegreat, that was so nice of you! It made my day! :)
Jilliane, thank you so much! I'm thrilled that Tambra turned you onto the story.
Starstruck86, thank you! I'm having a blast writing this. I'm glad you are enjoying it.
Alabaster Princess, who else but Sevie would be unfazed? I'm a rabid Snape fangirl too if you couldn't tell by the way! ;)
Since I'm so new here and still am learning the tricks and quirks of the board, could someone e-mail me to let me know if there's an easy way to keep track of my favorite stories? Or, e-mail me just to say hey. Thanks!
forensicgirl3@yahoo.com
Peter Pettigrew cursed under his breath. It was never good when the Dark Lord became bored. It usually meant an Imperius curse cast upon the nearest Death Eater to perform a few of the Dark Lord’s favorite show tunes and since currently he was the only Death Eater around, it would mean he would end up being the poor sod.
Gods. There was just no way he could squeeze into the Liza Minnelli Cabaret costume.
Frantically, he started pulling suggestions out of his arse.
“Let’s watch ‘Cats!’ You like ‘Cats.’ Oh, that silly Rum Tum Tugger! He's so finicky!”
“No.” came the petulant reply.
“Want to torture some Muggles? That’s always good for a laugh!”
“No.”
“Let’s go shopping for wigs and frocks! That always cheers you up!”
“No.”
Peter began to sweat.
“I know! I’ll fetch a pedicurist. Nothing like a good foot pampering, eh?”
Voldemort looked down at his toenails painted with ‘My Pretty Pony’ pink, thoughtfully.
“Well………no.”
Peter could feel his armpits dripping. He picked up a board game and shook it.
“How about a game of ‘Die, Harry Potter!’ You’re so good at it!”
“It’s no fun with just two and we don’t have a Muggle to be Harry Potter.”
The Dark Lord was becoming sullen.
Not good.
Peter was just about to give up and resign himself to singing ‘Life is a cabaret’ in fishnets and a bowler hat when a package appeared above their heads and plopped to the floor.
“It’s here!” Voldemort squealed, clapping his hands. “Precious, come see!”
Nagini slithered around to the front of the throne and glanced idly at the white box wrapped with a red bow that her master was waving in the air.
Voldemort ripped off the lid and let out another squeal.
“Oh, it’s perfect!” he gushed as he pulled out his new flame red Little Orphan Annie costume, complete with a carrot top curly wig. Peter could have cried with relief.
With a flick of wand, Voldemort was dressed in his new costume, wig firmly on top of his head.
“Well?! What do you think?”
“Wonderful, my Lord!” Peter answered, dabbing at his forehead.
“And just see how it shows off my legs!”
“No one has stems like yours, my Lord.”
And that was the truth. Literally. No one alive had those knobby of knees.
“We have to celebrate! I want a revel!”
“Brilliant idea, my liege!”
“With balloons.”
“Naturally.”
“And cupcakes!”
“Of course!”
“Some Muggles too!”
“It wouldn’t be a party with them!”
“This weekend. You make the arrangements, Peter.”
“It would be my pleasure, Sir.”
With another flick of his wand, the opening bars of ‘Tomorrow’ began to play. Stepping into the middle of the room, Voldemort posed, turning one knee into the other and clasping his hands together over his chest.
“Oh, Potter will die
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom sickle that tomorrow
He’ll be dead!
Just thinking about
Dead Potter
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow
Till there’s none.
When I’m stuck with a day
That’s gray
And lonely
I can stick out my chin
And grin
And say
Ooooohhhhhhhh!
Potter will die
Tomorrow
So I gotta hang on ‘til tomorrow
Come what may!
Toooomorrow!
Toooomorrow!
I’ll kill him
Tomorrow
He’s always a day
Aaaaaaaway!”
“Fabulous!” Peter shouted clapping furiously as the Dark Lord curtsied to an invisible full house.
Nagini had fallen asleep.
Voldemort considered himself in a mirror for a dangerous amount of time.
“I think I’m getting fat.”
Ah Gods.
-----------------------------------
A/N: Tambrathegreat, that was so nice of you! It made my day! :)
Jilliane, thank you so much! I'm thrilled that Tambra turned you onto the story.
Starstruck86, thank you! I'm having a blast writing this. I'm glad you are enjoying it.
Alabaster Princess, who else but Sevie would be unfazed? I'm a rabid Snape fangirl too if you couldn't tell by the way! ;)
Since I'm so new here and still am learning the tricks and quirks of the board, could someone e-mail me to let me know if there's an easy way to keep track of my favorite stories? Or, e-mail me just to say hey. Thanks!
forensicgirl3@yahoo.com