To Dance

Chapter 5: To Contemplate

Harry had sorted through a lot as he had lain on his bed, walked up to the Hospital Wing and back, and now felt that he had most things under control and in perspective. As he lay on his back on his four-poster bed, his now bandaged hand lying gently on his stomach, he went over the events of the day once more to make sure he hadn’t left anything out that would ruin his current thoughts.

The first thing that registered was that he had discovered, thanks to Cedric, that he was not as straight as he had originally believed. It was, perhaps, the most interesting thing he had learned about himself since when Hagrid had burst down the door of that little sea shack and told him he was a wizard. He smiled, fondly recalling the memory. So, he was gay, or bi. He didn’t know if he had totally given up on the opposite sex, but today with Cedric had certainly made things interesting.

The second thing on Harry’s mind was Cedric. He knew that he liked Cedric as a person, admired him even, but knew that he didn’t love him. The tugging at his heart and insides when Cedric had held at him had told him no, he didn’t feel about the Hufflepuff the way Cedric did about him. He was worried about the boy as well. Judging from the reaction he gave when Harry delivered his rejection, Cedric was not recovering well from it. This worried Harry, and even more, the fact that he could do nothing to comfort him, seeing as he was the one who had started this whole mess. He felt so incredibly guilty about the boy's sadness that it was almost creating a dull ache in his stomach.

The third thing was why had Cedric come onto him so strongly? Did he just radiate ‘I’m a GAY BOY’ vibes and not realize it. He hadn’t even realized he was gay until being with Cedric, so why had Cedric done what he had. Harry furrowed his brow, remembering it. He supposed it was because, logically, if he fell for a guy, he would do everything he could to try to be accepted. The fact of whether he was straight or not was just a matter of being loved back, or even being accepted. Realizing this, Harry completely understood Cedric’s actions. If the other boy liked him that much, he wouldn’t have cared about Harry’s sexual preferences and just done what he could to be accepted by him. It made sense.

The fourth thing that was bothering Harry, which was what pretty much always bothered him, was Malfoy. But instead of the usual plague he always was, recently he had been somewhat kinder, in his own Malfoy way, to Harry. Even tonight was evidence of it. He hadn’t done anything to harm him, really insult him, or basically annoy the hell out of him. He had even almost shown compassion or concern when seeing Harry’s hand. Harry didn’t know the reason for this change in character, but he knew it was there.

The final thing plagueing Harry’s mind was this stupid Yule Ball. Not only was he supposed to get a date, but also dance and lead the whole thing. He groaned and rolled over onto his side, feeling somewhat tired. Sitting up and rubbing his uninjured hand through his unruly hair, Harry decided that sleep was an excellent solution for all of his thoughts. Sighing, he stood up and changed into his warm flannel pajama pants. Feeling slightly warm and deciding on not wearing a shirt for the night, Harry climbed into bed and lay back, letting his body sink into the bed comfortably.

The thoughts of the Yule Ball and dancing didn’t seem to want to leave Harry however, and they dragged back into his mind obnoxiously. This whole dance lessons thing was going to provide difficulties. Firstly, now that he knew he was gay, or bi, or just liked men, now he was going to have to figure out how to deal with his dance partners, considering McGonagall had said the boys and girls would be learning separately, meaning he would be learning with other boys.

Harry sighed and closed his eyes. On top of that he had to find a date. Whether it be a boy or a girl now really presented a problem. If he went with a girl, he might end up not having much fun, because all girls except for Hermione were complete flirts who just giggled and complained about their weight. Going with a boy meant that he would be announcing to the entire school he was interested in boys though, which would probably make Rita Skeeter’s quick quotes quill explode in excitement. He was more likely to have fun if he went with a boy though. He understood guys, seeing as he was one.

Harry moaned and rolled over, staring out the window at the faint fall of snow which was drifting lazily past the window. Loud banging footsteps sounded right outside the dormitory door and a moment later Ron burst in.

“Harry!” the red headed Weasley shouted, walking over to Harry’s bed and sitting down next to his best friend.

“What?” Harry said, slightly cross, rolling over to look at Ron.

“Come on, mate,” Ron said, looking at Harry in concern. “Tell me what’s got you all hot and bothered. I mean, honestly, you can tell me anything. I’m your best friend.” He smiled weakly.

Harry stared at Ron. “Anything?”

“Anything,” Ron repeated, still smiling.

“Ok,” sighed Harry. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. This is pretty weird, even by my standards. Any rather new. I still don’t know how to deal with all of it and I’m just getting it all figured out.”

“Harry, spill already,” Ron said, laughing slightly.

Harry sat up, his sheets sliding off his bare chest, as he rested his back against the bed's headboard. “I got asked to the Yule Ball today-”

“-I know I was there-”

“-And I found out I’m interested in men.”

Ron stared at him, face frozen in a mix of surprise and amusement. Suddently he burst out laughing, falling back onto Harry’s bed as fits of laughter swept him away.

“Shut up!” Harry yelled, his face heating and he knew he was blushing furiously. Trying to keep at least some dignity to his name, Harry reached out and smacked Ron on the shoulder. “You bastard! I tell you my secrets and you laugh at me!”

Ron sat up, still laughing slightly. “Sorry mate,” he said, between a chortle. “It’s just... unexpected, you know. So, how’d you find out? Who was it that asked you? I mean, we saw the girl, but I am guessing that’s not who you’re referring to.”

Harry averted his eyes, trying to look at anything besides Ron. “It wasn’t the girl.” He sighed and leaned back into the headboard again, letting his head fall back to rest on the hard mahogany. “You know when Cedric came up and said he wanted a word?”

“Oh my God!” Ron said in disbelief, staring at Harry, captivated by the shocking news. “Diggory asked you to the Ball? No way! What’d you say?”

Harry lifted his head and stared at his friend. This wasn’t the reaction he had expected at all. He had expected Ron to stutter and go all red and become extremely uncomfortable. This cool and interested Ron was a bit odd.

Ron noticed Harry’s look and smiled. “Surprised I’m not freaked?” Harry nodded. Ron chuckled. “It’s not too weird for me really. Charlie told us a few years ago that he was gay. He’s brought his boyfriend home once or twice, and I’m used to it. Bill claims he bi but I think that means he’s not sure. So go on, tell me what happened.”

Harry continued to stare at Ron. “What about you then?” he finally asked. Ron snorted.
“I’m straight, at least, for the most part. I mean, I suppose I might be bi, but I mainly go for the girls.”

“Oh.”

“So,” Ron looked at him expectantly.

Harry sighed. “Well, he led me away to this empty classroom and shut the door and pulled me into a hug,” Ron was smiling wider than was humanly possible by now, an odd glint in his eyes. Harry shifted uneasily. “Then he asked me to go to the Ball with him. And then he kissed me.” Ron cocked an eyebrow and wiggled it obnoxiously. Harry, trying hard to hide his embarrassment, threw his pillow at the red head, who dodged easily.

“And then? What did you say? What did you guys do?”

Harry stared hard at his friend. “You’re pretty interested in this, which is surprising.”

Ron laughed. “Oh come on! It's not every day my best mate gets asked to the Yule Ball by a guy, a guy who is rumored by almost everyone in the school to be smoking. Or to put it better, flaming. Anyway, he's hot. Also, I just never get to hear about anything interesting here.” He paused at Harry's expression. “Diggory's a fox, everyone knows that.”

Harry ran his hand through his hair, wincing when he realized it was the bandaged one. “Well, I tried to give him an answer, but he kinda cut me off.” Ron stuck his tongue between his teeth as he grinned.

“Oh?”

“Yea.”

“How?”

“His mouth.”

Ron flopped down onto his back to Harry’s bed. “Merlin, Harry. You obviously had some fun today. So why the hissy fit at dinner?”

“Because I said no.” Ron shot up and stared at him. “And he didn’t take my response very well.”

“Hell,” Ron breathed. “You turned down Diggory? Did I not emphasize that 'Diggory is a Fox' well enough?”

Harry laughed.

Ron swung around the other side of the bed, grabbing Harry’s pillow and hurling it at the laughing bespectacled boy, who recieved the soft pillow straight in the face.

“But really,” Ron continued. “You turned him down. Why?”

Harry shrugged. “It felt from the way he was coming onto me that he wanted more than a date to the Ball. He told me that he really likes me.” Ron was smiling at him, and not in the same way he had been earlier, but instead a real friend's smile. “But, eventhough I was definitely enjoyed what he was doing, I just didn’t feel anything at all beyond that towards Cedric.” Ron’s eyebrows drew together in contemplation.

“Hmm.”

“I mean, I agree. He is one of the best looking guys in the school. But I just didn’t feeling anything, besides turned on that a guy was snogging the hell out of me and hugging me possessively.”

Ron grinned wickedly at Harry. “Possessively, eh?” Harry smacked him with his pillow and Ron laughed, falling to the bed again.

“You’re such a pouf.”

“Takes one to know one.”

Harry laughed, leaning against the headboard again. Taking a deep breath and smiling at the red head, he said, “Damn. I’m one lucky guy.”

“Why?” asked Ron, still lying on Harry’s bed. “Because you got snogged by the foxy man?"

“No,” answered Harry, glancing at Ron and grinning. “Because I have awesome friends like you, who accept me for being the way I am, and crazy friends, like Hermione, who care about me. She’s probably worried sick right now.” He paused, swallowing as he looked up at the ceiling. Looking back at Ron, he smirked. “And of course, for getting snogged by one of the hottest guys in the school.”

Ron smiled and stood up, walking over to his own bed and kicking off his shoes, preparing for bed. “So,” he said, as he pulled off his sweater. “Is he a good kisser?” He looked over at Harry, blue eyes glinting. He wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

Harry smirked at his best friend. “I don’t kiss and tell,” he said, sticking his tongue between his teeth deviously. Ron scoffed and hurled his pillow at Harry’s head. For the second time that night Harry was hit in the face and soon retaliated by starting one of the best pillow fights the Gryffindor boys dormitory had ever seen.