Issues

~~~ CHAPTER FIVE: ~~~

“… and don’t you forget to give me a ring if ever he needs anything! You hear me, Potter?” said Maggie sternly after giving them a debriefing on the care Draco needed while he finished recovering at home.

They could both tell she was extremely reluctant to let Draco go but he had promised to keep in touch as she had, over his stay in hospital, become one of the few people he would consider a friend of his.

Finally, they were all set to go so Harry supported Draco into their car and they began the quiet drive home, both once again caught up in their thoughts.

As soon as they got home though, there was no room for worries about forthcoming talks and arguments because before Draco had even had a chance to sit down fully, their puppy came charging through the house and knocked him back onto the couch.

“Hey, Jasper!” laughed Draco delightedly as his face was covered in slobber from the somewhat over-enthusiastic pup. Much to Draco’s amusement, Harry was growled at if he even so much as decided to sit on the same couch as Draco as Jasper did not seem to be in the mood to share him.

For the next couple of hours, they spent their time making light-hearted conversation and playing with Jasper. Finally though, they ran out of excuses to make and, with Jasper now napping contentedly in front of the fireplace, Harry once again supported Draco into their bedroom.

After going through their nightly routines, Harry sat back on the bed next to Draco and gently pried the upside-down magazine that Draco was pretending to read from his hands.

“Draco… I think we should talk about this…” began Harry nervously.

“Harry,” sighed Draco after a while, “what do you want me to say? ‘I forgive you! Let’s just go back to the way things were before!’ … I can’t do that Harry…”

“… and I wouldn’t expect you to, Draco,” said Harry gently, taking hold of Draco’s uninjured left hand, “I just want to talk about what happened… that night…”

“Let me guess,” began Draco somewhat bitterly, “you thought I’d cheated on you that night, didn’t you?”

Harry’s guilty blush was all the answer he needed.

“Harry! I can’t believe you thought I would do something like that! I know I was never exactly discrete about my relationships before we got together but I swear to you on all that I am, I have never once been anything but faithful to you in the time we’ve been going out.”

“I know that now, Draco, but you have to admit that it looked particularly bad that night…” said Harry quietly, fiddling with the bed sheets in his hands.

“Harry,” began Draco softly, “I know what it must have looked like to you but I promise you that Finnigan had come onto me Harry, not the other way around. I really was looking forward to coming home with you that night and cuddling up with a movie on the couch. I was waiting for you to say your goodbyes and then, the next thing I know, I’m pushed up against a wall with Finnigan’s grimy hands all over me and his slimy tongue pushed halfway down my throat. It was actually truly disgusting!”

“Draco… I know… I talked to Seamus before I knew you were in the hospital and he told me all about it. Turns out he just wanted to see, and I quote, ‘What all the bloody fuss was about!’… I swear I got so mad at him that day after I found out that he’d actually cursed you that, well, let’s just say he spent the next week or so in St Mungo’s recovering…” admitted Harry somewhat sheepishly.

“Harry… you know there’s more to it than that though…”

“Yeah… I know…”

“…”

“…”

“Harry, I have to know… why did you not come?”

“…huh? Come where?” asked Harry, bewildered

“Come when I was screaming for you to help me…”

“When was this Draco?” asked Harry, his dawning realisation causing a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Right after you’d locked me out of the bloody wards… I was banging on the door for you to let me in when I heard noises behind me. Okay, I’ll admit that I was pretty damn scared then Harry and, for at least a few minutes, I was screaming for you to help me out there. Then, when I realised you weren’t coming, I stopped fighting them… I couldn’t fight them anymore… and the next thing I know, I’m in the hospital…” said Draco in a choked voice, deliberately keeping his eyes fixed on his own hands fiddling with the bed sheets.

“Oh, Draco…” breathed Harry, the guilty feeling coursing throughout his body causing him to want to bash his own head in… repeatedly…

“Where were you, Harry?” asked Draco in a small voice and Harry could tell he was only moments away from crying.

“I… fuck, there is nothing I can say to justify my actions on this but… well… after I’d expelled you from the wards (which, at this point I have to say was a terrible idea which I’m very sorry for!), I sort of… well… lost control of my anger and, um… my magic… I put up some silencing spells which would probably explain why I never heard you and then damn near blew up everything in the house… fuck, I’m such a fucktard!” said Harry, agitatedly pulling on his own hair.

“…”

“Draco…?” questioned Harry worriedly, looking over to him only to find that his face was hidden by locks of Draco’s hair.

A small sniffle led Harry to believe that Harry’s earlier guess was right and Draco had indeed started crying. Almost cautiously, Harry put his arms around Draco, not certain that his touch would be entirely welcomed now that Draco was out of hospital.

“Harry…” mumbled Draco after his sobs had subsided, his face once again hidden in Harry’s shoulder, “I don’t know what to do…”

“What do you mean, Draco?” asked Harry gently.

“I mean… us…”

“…”

“I mean… fuck… I… I must be some sort of idiot but I… I still l-love you, Harry,” stammered Draco uncharacteristically, “B-but, I don’t know if I can still be with you…you know what I mean?”

“…um… no actually, I don’t know what you mean…” said Harry softly, though his heart was already sinking.

At this, Draco slowly pried himself from Harry’s shoulder and sat up, drawing his knees to his chest and looking away.

“Harry,” began Draco softly, “I don’t trust you anymore.”

Harry’s heart was now so far in his throat he found he could not make a single sound to accompany the tears now streaming down his face.

“I want to,” said Draco, surprisingly evenly for someone with tears also streaming down his face, “but… well, you know what my life’s been like since the war, Harry… I-I lost everyone I cared about and I gained so many enemies and… throughout all of that, you were still the one person I could always trust… I could always count on you to be there when I needed you and… then… that night… Not only did you lock me out of our home Harry… our home… but, you didn’t come when I was screaming so hard for your help that my throat actually hurt… you didn’t come and… and that was the worst part of that night for me…”

For a long while, neither of them could find words to say in response to that so they both just sat at either end of the bed and cried silently.

“Draco,” murmured Harry softly, wiping the tears from his eyes, “…please… I know I don’t deserve it but… oh god… please just give me one last chance to try to earn back some trust. Draco, I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you in my life. I was a colossal idiot that night, I know that… maybe if I hadn’t been, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt that night but… I can’t change what happened that night no matter how much I desperately want to… I can only hope to learn from it if… if you give me a chance to… I-I don’t want to know what it’s like to not wake up with you beside me… t-to go through my days without the hope that, no matter how bad things get, I’ll always have you to come home to… Please Draco… just one more chance…” pleaded Harry, tears sparkling in his eyes again

“Harry… I-I want to learn how to trust you again… I... I don’t really like waking up without you either but… it’s going to take a long while, Harry,” said Draco in such a quiet voice that Harry had to strain to hear him.

“I know Draco,” said Harry, hope beginning to build in his heart, “and I don’t mind. I’m willing to do all it takes Draco. I want to make this work… I need to make this work…”

Seeing that Draco’s only response was a quiet, tearful nod, Harry leaned in to brush his lips against Draco’s in their familiar ‘sealed-with-a-kiss’ way.

For a while, that was all they did; just sweetly brush their lips against the others’, murmuring soft words to each other.

“Draco… let me… can I just pleasure you tonight?” asked Harry softly, not wanting to push their tentative truce and ask more of Draco than he was ready to give.

Draco nodded and Harry helped him to lie back in the middle of their bed before entwining their fingers together and kissing his way softly around Draco’s face and down his neck.

He took his time as he unbuttoned Draco’s top, pausing to kiss each inch of skin that was revealed to him. When the top was unbuttoned, Harry kissed and nipped his way from Draco’s collarbone to his left nipple where he proceeded to lick and suck on it till Draco was moaning quietly above him. When he’d finished that, he made his way to Draco’s right nipple to give it the same attention.

Draco, for his part, was basking in the attention his boyfriend was giving him as they rarely got the chance to have slow, relaxed sex. He did however find it ironic that one of the few times they were having slow, relaxed sex was when his emotions were as far from relaxed as could be.

Harry slowly laved each inch of Draco’s torso and arms with kisses and caresses, paying special attention to the fading scars from his injuries, before he began to even consider paying attention to the parts of Draco most interested in the current proceedings.

Eventually, Harry began to tug down Draco’s pyjama pants, once again giving special attention to each part of his boyfriend that was revealed.

“Harry…” groaned Draco pushing his hips up towards Harry

“Shhh…” whispered Harry, now mouthing Draco’s cock ever-so-lightly

Finally, Harry took pity on the groans Draco was making and engulfed his cock in one shot, sucking and swirling his tongue over the hot, hard member. Draco had his head thrown back now and was thrashing and squirming as much as he could given that one of his legs was still covered in a surprisingly heavy cast.

Just when Draco thought he was going to shoot his load straight down Harry’s throat, Harry pulled back.

“..uunngh?” mumbled Draco dazedly

“Um…can I…?” asked Harry nervously, licking his suddenly dry lips

“… can you what?” asked Draco, confused

“…ride you…”

At this, Draco sat up till he was propped on his elbows and looked at Harry in surprise. In all the three years they had been together, Harry had only actually bottomed less than ten times. It had never really been much of an issue for either of them but Draco was always surprised when Harry decided he wanted to bottom.

“… really? You want to?” asked Draco, an unreadable look on his face

Harry simply nodded.

At this, Draco let out a short bark of laughter.

“Harry! When have I ever stopped you when you wanted to ride me?”

“Well, true,” admitted Harry somewhat sheepishly, “just thought I’d ask anyway…”

“Harry,” said Draco seriously, “I would love if you rode me but um…. I want to watch you prepare yourself”

In a surprisingly short amount of time, Harry had managed to not only locate the lube, but also strip himself and Draco of any clothing they still had on. He then proceeded to coat his fingers generously in lube and unceremoniously shove them up his own arse. Draco groaned just watching him, extremely turned on but not wanting to rush things too much.

Finally, Harry had finished preparing himself and, looking Draco directly in the eyes, slowly lowered himself until every inch of Draco was inside him. He felt full, almost uncomfortably so, but knew it would soon all be worth it. Draco on the other hand looked to be physically restraining himself from thrusting up into Harry, wanting to give him time to adjust. His eyes were squeezed shut and his chest was heaving with the effort.

“Draco, look at me…” whispered Harry

Deliberately keeping their eyes locked on each other, Harry began to slowly, painstakingly, move up and down on Draco’s cock. By this point, both knew they didn’t have long to last as a combination of their emotional states and the fact that neither had had sex in around a month were becoming blatantly obvious.

Over the years, Harry and Draco had made it somewhat of a tradition that, no matter what position they ended up in, they would always give each other a kiss before they came. Neither knew when it had started, nor did they really care.

Harry, knowing that his orgasm was now imminent, leaned down to brush his lips against Draco’s only to find that Draco had that same unreadable look on his face as he was leaning down. As Harry got close enough to kiss him, Draco suddenly turned his face to the side and, as a result, Harry ended up kissing him on the cheek. Disappointed and hurt as he was, Harry could not help but release his load at that exact moment and felt Draco shoot up his arse at the milking he was receiving.

As they were both coming down from their highs, they realised that both their faces were wet with the sheen of sweat and new tears and, for a long while, they just cuddled together, damn, sticky and exhausted (physically and mentally).

They both knew that the road ahead for their relationship would be long and very tough, and neither of them were blind to the challenges they would face, but even just for this moment, both were simply glad to be back in the arms of their loved one.

~~~

A/N: Wow… You know, I’m 99% positive that this is the first story I’ve ever written that I’ve actually managed to finish! And isn’t that just amazing! =D
There is the one last chapter (the Epilogue) to go…
Hope you’ve all enjoyed this story! I did not enjoy torturing poor Draco seeing as he’s actually my favourite character but, well, the plot bunny was torturing me!

Please Review!