Divided

Author\'s Note: lol. So I went from no Beta, to having two lovely ladies that both wish to help me along in my writing. :) Many thanks to Alicia for your helpful plot suggestions, which I will make use of very soon (as in about twenty minutes from now) and thanks to divinexrapture, who despite her busy weekend, was happy to lend her nazi like grammer and punctuation skills. You\'re both too kind!



Chapter 5 Questions & Answers



Seeing Draco at Hogwarts was bad for my health. It had only been a few days, and already I was having nightmares, reliving the night that I left.



I could still clearly see Lucius’ face from under my invisibility cloak, and it made me shudder. Draco’s dorm room was dimly lit, but I could make out his pale face, as well as a deep scowl pressed into his dream-self’s features.



“I’ll not have this nonsense continuing, Draco. You’re a Malfoy for Merlin’s sake. You have responsibilities to uphold,” Lucius shouted sternly. Draco had only nodded.



Lucius put a white hand on his son’s shoulder, his tone switching to placating, “Listen, Draco, I understand a brief dalliance - don’t look at me like that - I do understand. I myself had a small fling while attending school; it’s almost unavoidable.” Draco cringed at his father’s words, but Lucius pressed on.



“Just think of your mother, what would she say if she found out about you and Potter?” He practically spit the name. “We’ll line a bride up for you, and then once you produce an heir, you’ll be the head of the household, running Malfoy Manor.”



Draco nodded dejectedly. “Yes, father.”



“You haven’t gone and fallen for the boy have you?” Lucius asked tentatively.



“Doubtful,” Draco sneered. “It’s only sex after all.”



“That’s my boy,” Lucius said, patting his shoulder. “Just end it with Potter. The sooner the better. I’ll see you at home in a few weeks.”



I shook the remnants of my dream away from my mind. It felt just like yesterday that I was lurking under my invisibility cloak, watching the horrible scene play out. He had lied to me, lied about his feelings, lied about the future. I felt so ignorant.



I should have known that when his father said jump, he would jump. Having left that very night, I never gave Draco the chance to break up with me.



Ever since just after the war, I had been planning to leave. I’d already talked it over with my friends and family. The reason I snuck into his room that night was to ask him to come with me. It was only supposed to be a short trip, a couple of months away after we finished exams. But after I witnessed the conversation between Draco and his father, I didn’t feel like waiting, and I didn’t feel like coming back.



Two years of my life passed by that way. Alone. Now here he was, back at Hogwarts, back in my life. Making it hell.



--



Harry was already in the Great Hall, sitting in his seat at the head table when I had arrived. His eyes flicked briefly to mine as I walked to my own seat.



“Malfoy,” he muttered as I seated myself.



“Evans,” I replied, equally emotionless. This was starting to grate on me, and I wanted it to stop. I wanted him to just look at me, just talk to me. If he would only be cordial, I could even move past the possibility of getting him back. We could at least be friends; there really wasn’t a reason not to be. We were so similar, and obviously compatible, as proven in the past. I just couldn’t figure out why Harry was so angry with me. If anyone, it should have been me that was angry. I was the one who got walked out on. I was willing to look past all that and start over, and he just wanted to pretend like nothing ever happened.



It hit me then, and I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t thought of it before. The more I thought of it, the more it made sense. He had probably wanted to be rid of me and didn’t know how to do it politely. Gryffindor pride would never let him just tell me to sod off, not after everything we…



Harry never really liked me.



That was the only explanation I could come up with that answered all of my questions. He had just clung to me because I was the only one offering him what he needed to get past the grief of the war, and then when he realized what he was doing he wanted to end it.



I don’t know why the thought had never occurred to me. As I sat next to Harry, watching his sulky behavior at being in such close proximity to me, it all clicked into place.



I started getting angry; angry that he didn’t just tell me instead of leaving, that what he did say contradicted his leaving altogether. He had once said he loved me. Granted, it was as he was falling asleep, and he undoubtedly would never say those words aloud. Yet, still he said them.



From those soft lips, he said the words I had never heard before. Not from my family, or from any of my friends, not even from my own parents. Never did father, or mother, utter those three words. Emotions were a weakness, and they would have none of that nonsense in their household.



But the nude boy with scruffy raven hair, curled up beside my own naked body, had said it. He said he loved me, and that one sentiment made me willing to give up any other life I had planned before he came along.



He lied to me.



--



I felt Draco’s eyes on my own as I moved the food around on my plate, pretending to eat. His eyes were their usual gray at first, but as he continued to stare they turned icy. I tried to ignore him, but he was rigid, practically throbbing with hurt and anger beside me. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and met his glare.



“What?” I asked, as if he had said something.



Draco just huffed. “You could have just told me.”



Admittedly I was confused. “Er… what was I supposed to tell you?”



“That you didn’t like me,” he replied as if it were obvious.



I glared at him and let my eyes flick to the other professors within earshot. “Can we talk about this later?”



“Right, like you’ll ever make time, you’ll most likely disappear again,” he scoffed.



I grit my teeth; he was being a right pain, and apparently had it in his head to blow my cover. “What are you talking about, Malfoy?” I hissed.



“Before, when you left. Harry-“ I glared at him sharply, cutting him off and grabbed his elbow roughly. Dragging him from the Great Hall, I ignored the stares of the students and our fellow staff members. Only Hermione and Minerva remained impassive at the exchange.



I kept pulling him along until we reached my quarters at the top of Gryffindor tower. Once inside, I whirled around and pinned him to the wall. “Now, Malfoy, what were you on about back there? Are you trying to give me away or something?”



Draco looked as shocked by my sudden actions as everyone else had and took a moment to compose himself. “Maybe I was, maybe I think it’s time that everyone knows that Harry Potter is just a big coward, hiding from them all this time in plain sight!”



“What did you call me?” I growled.



“A coward. You’re no brave lion. You’re just a scared little pussy cat,” he huffed, obviously impressed with himself.



I pressed him a little harder against the wall before letting go and stepping back toward the seating area. I gestured over to one of the armchairs and Draco reluctantly sat down.



“Would you like to tell me what brought on this assumption?” I asked, trying to remain calm.



He sighed and leaned back in the armchair, closing his eyes before he spoke. “It just all hit me, the reason why you’ve been spurning my advances.”



That was the last thing I had expected him to say, and I chuckled lightly before I could catch myself. He opened his eyes, enough to shoot me a glare, and I promptly stifled the laugh. “Oh, and why is it that I’m ‘spurning your advances’, as you say?”



Draco shrugged. “Because you don’t like me.”



I laughed again. “I already told you that. It took it this long for it to sink in?”



His mouth gaped a moment before he spoke again. “When did you tell me that?”



I was confused again. “I thought I was pretty clear, when you tried to kiss me, that I wasn’t interested in going back down that road… what were you talking about?”



Draco rolled his eyes. “No, I mean before you left. I finally realized that you left in the first place because you never liked me.”



I didn’t know what to say, but I took a step back because my anger was getting the best of me. “You’re a fool if you think that,” I spat.



“Oh, well then please enlighten me, why did you leave if it wasn’t over your feelings for me,” he huffed.



“No, your right, Malfoy. It was exactly because of my feelings for you that I left,” I hollered. “You broke my fucking heart, Malfoy.” I couldn’t see anything; my anger and tears blurred the room. I quickly blinked them away only to find that I wished I hadn’t. Draco was staring at me, wide eyed, like a deer caught in the headlights.



“How?” he pleaded, still looking surprised at my admission. “Please, just tell me what I did… I’ll make it better, whatever it takes, I promise, Harry-“



“Get out!” I shouted, cutting him off. I didn’t want anything to do with his apologies or his lies. “Just get out,” I said more quietly the second time.



I didn’t wait to see if he would listen, I made my way to my bedroom, closing the door and locking it behind me. I waited until I heard the other door close behind him before I let myself go. I just sat there on the edge of the bed in a quivering, tear-streaked mess, until I had to pull myself together and go to class.



Time to be Professor James Evans. If only I could figure out a way to get rid of Harry Potter altogether.



--



I was shaken. I didn’t know what to do with the slight information I had gleaned from Harry that morning. How could I have broken his heart? I wracked my brain, trying to think of the last time we had seen one another before he took off. Having thought over it so many times over the years, the memory was burned in my brain. I tried looking at it from every angle, trying to find a clue that he had been about to leave me.



It had been the morning he left, and he sought me out after breakfast. We had found a disused office weeks before that we would meet in whenever the fancy struck us. He found me close by and dragged me into it, pinning me against the wall and kissing me fiercely.



I was quick to succumb, as usual, and kissed him back. I remember thinking about how different things had become between us in just a few short weeks. Harry was mine, and nothing could take him away from me.



He pulled away finally, pulling my bottom lip between his teeth for a moment before releasing it. He just stared at me, with his penetrating green eyes, and in that moment, I knew I was his as well.



We possessed each other thoroughly, mind, body, and soul. I knew from the first moment we kissed that I never wanted to kiss anyone else. Then the physical contact, which was intense and complete, became emotional as well. The sex was brilliant, but sometimes, the moments like those brief exchanges between classes, were even better.



I could feel his heart thudding against mine, knowing that it only beat for me, and I was happier than I could ever imagine.



It hadn’t been a long meeting, just kissing and groping, and then off to class. Nothing unusual, for us at least; we barely even spoke. I remember asking him if he was having a good day, and he said, “I am now,” and kissed me again.



We didn’t speak for the rest of the day. Hermione and Ron had no idea about us, and he wasn’t keen to break it to them while we were still in school together. I respected that, so I kept my distance, though I did notice Hermione and Ron whispering to him about something, and occasionally Harry would glance at me when they had turned away.



There was never any animosity though; never anything but love, or at least at the time that was how I had interpreted it.



For my part, I was in love with Harry. I had never said it to him, and kicked myself for that over the years, wondering if it would have made a difference. The feelings scared me, but I trusted Harry.



It was that afternoon at lunch that I got a letter from my father saying he would be arriving after dinner, and that he was ‘very disappointed’, which frankly was nothing new. He was extra bitter about having fought on the losing side of the war, and wanted to reestablish the Malfoy name through me.



That night he told me he had found out about Harry, and that night Harry left. I suspected for several months afterward that my father had done something to Harry, but he adamantly denied it, and merely said that I was ‘better off’.



After a few years, I actually started to believe that—that Harry leaving was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I would be the Malfoy I was supposed to be.



Though, that was until I saw him again. The minute I saw his blazing green eyes, I knew I had to make him mine again. His anger seemed so unwarranted, and I couldn’t possibly battle it without knowing what caused it.



I had to find out what caused it. I had to find out a way to make him mine again.



--



I sat in on Draco’s last class of the day. It was a risky move to put myself within arm’s reach again, but I had questions I wanted answered.



That morning, he seemed so genuinely puzzled by my admission, so sincerely apologetic. After thinking it over, I decided that I must to talk to him. I had to try to figure it all out. Maybe it was time to let bygones be bygones. I could at least give him the benefit of the doubt, after all these years.



At least, I would if he answered my questions honestly.



His lesson held no interest for me, even after ten years I found potion making an utter bore, but Draco was still fascinating. The other students seemed to agree. They preferred him immensely to Professor Slughorn. I think he won them over from the start with his Harry Potter question-and-answer session. I rolled my eyes, thinking of the mess that had been.



The students filed out, quicker than normal since it was their last class, and Draco kept looking up from his papers to see if I had moved yet. I think he expected me to bolt, and I half wondered if he had a plan to keep me there.



As it stood, he didn’t need one.



“Can I ask you a question, Malfoy?” I called down to him from my perch at the top of the classroom.



He looked surprised by either my voice or my question, or perhaps both, but seemed to think on it a moment before finally speaking. “On one condition.”



“Which would be?” I asked impatiently.



“On the condition that for every question I answer, you have to answer one of mine.” As he spoke, he looked confident that I would agree.



I pretended to mull it over for a long time, watching his confidence falter, then finally nodded. He beamed at me, and that made it worth my agreement, and bounded up to sit in the same chair he had occupied the first time we had spoken in his classroom. He did look at the chair suspiciously before sitting down, though, as if checking for the jinx I had put on it the last time.



He looked up at me with soft, sparkling gray eyes and smiled, waiting for me to take the lead.



“Why didn’t you ever get married?” I asked.



The question clearly caught him off guard and he laughed. “Is that all you wanted to know? Here I thought you had some deep private question for me.”



I narrowed my eyes at him. “It’s important for me to know, just answer the question.”



He shrugged. “Because you never asked,” he replied, still smiling.



I rolled my eyes. “”Seriously, Malfoy.”



“Draco.”



“What?”



“Call me Draco. I’m tired of you calling me Malfoy,” he answered, obviously exasperated.



I huffed at him. “I’ll call you Malfoy until I feel like calling you otherwise.”



He rolled his eyes at me. “Fine. I answered your question, now you have to answer one of mine.”



“You didn’t answer my question honestly!” I was starting to get mad, but the look on his face stopped me.



“Yes, I did,” he started. “I realized a long time ago that you’re the only one I want to be with.”



I almost argued, but he seemed genuine, so I let it go with a wave. “Fine. What’s your question?”



He grinned. “What happened to your scar?”



I blinked a couple times, not expecting such a mild question. I had assumed he would launch right into the tough ones, since he didn’t know how many he would get to ask.



I closed my eyes for a moment and knew the minute he saw the scar appear on my forehead again. He gasped a little, and I grinned. “It never went anywhere,” I replied.



“Brilliant! How did you do that… Hey, is that what you did to your eyes that first night? You can do wandless magic?” he asked excitedly.



“Hold on, now,” I said, laughing at his exuberance. “I already answered your question, now it’s my turn again.”



He sighed. “Right, right. Where are my manners?”



“Did you know I was here when you took the job?” I asked, my face serious again.



He shook his head. “I had no idea.”



“Then why did you take the job?” I asked in response.



He hesitated. “I…” he paused to take a breath and continued. “I was afraid to relive the nightmares I had here, and I knew I had to get over them. Besides, the place just felt… right, after being away so long… I hadn’t realized how much I missed it.”



I didn’t say anything. He felt the same way about the castle as I did; I couldn’t make him leave, so that only left one other option: cohabitate with him.



“My turn,” he said brightly and I nodded. “What happened to your glasses?”



I laughed. He really was wasting his questions. “That’s simple. It’s just a vision charm. I learned it my first month away.”



“Where did you go?” he asked quietly.



I shook my head, “Oh no you don’t. It’s my turn again.”



He laughed. “Sorry, Harry, but you asked me two questions in a row, and I answered both. I get another question.”



No, that wasn’t right. “I did… oh… I did, didn’t I?” He nodded, still smiling. The git.



“I was in Ireland, Dublin more specifically. I did my Auror training there under the name James Evans.”



He raised an elegant blonde eyebrow at my answer. He didn’t say anything in response, just nodded to me so I could ask my next question. “What did your father tell you the night I left?”



His eyes went wide and blinked several times. He cleared his throat, and swallowed thickly several times before answering. “He… he told me to break it off with you.”



I nodded, already knowing exactly what had happened. I also knew that Draco had agreed to what his father asked, but I didn’t tell him that. I went to get up and leave, but a hand on my leg stopped me.



“I still get a question,” he said quietly.



I really didn’t want to talk anymore. Some part of me had hoped that I misread the conversation between Draco and his father, or that maybe he was under some sort of curse, and that he wasn’t saying what he meant, but I knew then that I had been right.



However, a deal is a deal, so I motioned that he could ask his last question.



“How long had you been planning on leaving me?” he asked, his voice breaking on the words.



I sighed. “Leaving period, weeks… ever since the moment Voldemort fell, actually. Maybe even before that… I don’t really know. Leaving you? I only decided that about an hour before I actually left. I was going to ask you to come with me after exams were finished, but you changed my mind.”



He looked dumbfounded. Then I could tell the moment when all the puzzle pieces clicked together. “You… you were there weren’t you?”



I knew the ‘there’ that he was speaking of, and I didn’t have to answer his question, but I nodded anyway. I made to move again, but his hand was still wrapped around my calf.



“How?” he asked, not bothering to refute what I had seen, just wanting to know how I had managed it. Such a Slytherin.



I just narrowed my eyes at him, and he knew. “That infernal invisibility cloak,” he muttered.



I nodded again, and this time he let go of my leg. I walked away, down the stairs toward the door.



“I really did break your heart didn’t I?” he asked again quietly.



“You don’t get any more questions, Malfoy,” I said before leaving the classroom.



--



Author\'s Note: I think by now you are all well aware of my stand on reviews... :)