Le Frère de Sang

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GENERAL DISCLAIMER - I do not own any of the characters used.

NOTES ON THE CHAPTER - Again we see grieving, a few of you will probably think I am having Harry show too much grief but through the whole story there isn’t an awful lot of it compared with the reality such a loss would have on a person. We also see Harry coping yet again and adapting to his new situation.

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I woke alone in the room. My body was numb and everything that had happened when I was last awake was fuzzy, like a radio not tuned in right. My head hurt and I smelt bad. My stomach ached from not eating but I had no appetite.

I didn’t know what the time was and I didn’t want to stay in the bed. My empathy shields were completely down, the cupboard in my mind smashed and splintered, leaving my mind completely open to other’s emotions. I could feel nothing though. Sometimes I felt the barest hint of an emotion but it was just like a feather tickling the ends of my hair, it wasn’t enough for me to properly feel and register. I couldn’t feel anything.

I tore my thoughts away from that and forced my body out of the large bed. My movements were stiff and as I moved my legs shook, unused to the exercise. If I remember rightly Asher and Jean-Claude told me they’d watched over me while I was unconscious for three days. I hadn’t eaten in five and I’d had a complete breakdown; several breakdowns. My body wasn’t going to want to do much. Still, I forced myself to move and hunt for the bathroom and a shower.

I found the bathroom and stripped of the silk bed wear I’d been put in. I still didn’t know who’d changed me but it hardly mattered in the grand scheme of things. I turned on the shower; the water was warm unlike the water during my last shower. Shampoo, conditioner and soap were provided so I used them. I also found toothpaste and a toothbrush by the sink. Since the toothbrush was still in its packaging I assumed it was okay to use it, if it wasn’t okay then I’d pay for a replacement.

I cleaned myself, several times over to get rid of the grease and grime. When I emerged from the bathroom I was only wearing one of the towels I’d found. Once in the main bedroom I meandered, a little steadier on my legs, towards the large dresser and pulled open one of the doors. Inside I found a few pairs of trousers and a few shirts. They were made of fancy materials. I didn’t dare touch them. I closed the door again and reached a hand out to my side summoning my magic to the surface.

“Accio.” I whispered concentrating on the trousers I had been wearing. They came flying from the bathroom and hit my hand. I decided I wouldn’t put them back on without underwear so I hunted through the drawers to see if there was underwear in them. I found a small pile of tight white shorts, like hot pants girls wore but for men, made of a thick material. I slipped them on, using my magic to shrink them a bit so they fit me.

I used my magic to clean the white silk trousers too before slipping them back on. I banished the towel back to the bathroom, picturing where I wanted it to land and how knowing my magic would take care of everything else.

Two weeks ago I would have done everything by hand. I wouldn’t have summoned my magic to clean, tidy, summon, transfigure or aid. I would only have used my magic to heal. I didn’t want to do everything by hand though now. I felt weary. I didn’t want to put any effort in, what was the point? Nobody would appreciate or notice it. And my magic liked being used. It stayed locked away in my core until I wanted it. It wasn’t like my mind shields, I didn’t have to shield it away. Magic naturally doesn’t come forwards unless called. Even though I had over the right amount of magic, my power levels being way above the norm, my magic usually didn’t respond unless called directly. The intent to use was all magic required; unless you were extremely emotional which was what caused accidental magic. I was just thankful that I was powerful enough to not need my wand.

I was the only wizard alive who could do any spell in my arson without a wand. I could do that because of what happened in the final battle, some sort of magical displacement. As opposed to how air moves from areas of high pressure to areas of low pressure creating wind, magic is attracted to magic. When Voldemort died magic’s vessel disappeared leaving the magic without a use. So the magic moved and gathered in the nearest magical core, mine. Hence another reason why I was so feared.

I moved back to the bed, there was nothing else to do. I sat there, legs crossed beneath me staring around the room. There were no clocks, no books, and no televisions. There was nothing in the room except decorations and furniture that I wasn’t interested in the slightest.

My palm twinged as I stroked the fabric of my trousers and I turned my hand over to closer inspect it. Where there was once a scar showing my link to my brother there was now a rough dark red scab. The scab was smaller than the scar had been and around its edges I could see new skin, unmarred skin, forming. The scab was going to get smaller and smaller and the skin was going to heal without forming a scar, I just knew it. It would heal leaving no trace of Blaise behind. Just as Blaise turned to ashes and disappeared, all reminders of him would.

Tears streamed down my face, silently this time. I stroked the scab then scratched it gently before trying to get my fingernail underneath the edge of it. Maybe if I got the wound infected then when it eventually healed I’d have a scar, a reminder of Blaise. If I made the wound deep enough, pulled the scab off often enough, it would scar. Rivers ran down my cheeks and I ignored it when the salt water dripped from my chin onto my chest and trousers. It slid slowly across my skin before absorbing into the silk at my waist.

“Blaise...” I whispered gently. I went to tear the scab off but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Blaise hated it when I was bleeding, unless it was during a feed. I wouldn’t cut myself, pain myself this way. I could find other reminders of him. Three more tears fell, two from one eye. One tear flowed down the river and the other created another pathway down my cheek and dripped off my jaw.

“Good evening Harry.” The voice was soft and very gentle. I turned at the voice and saw Asher stood not too far from the door. I hadn’t heard him enter, but I rarely knew when Blaise entered a room. It was a vampire thing. I only knew when Blaise was there because of the bond we had letting me know that my bond mate was in the vicinity. There was no link now, now the other half of it was gone.

“I thought it was all a dream, a horrible dream. Then I opened my eyes.” I said by way of a greeting.

“That is grief talking. It shall pass...or it shall ease in time but will never truly be gone.”

“It feels like all I’ve ever known is grief.” I whispered part to myself. I raised my unmarred hand to my face and wiped the tear tracks away with the heal of my hand. “Is the sun down?”

“Oui, the sun died an hour ago. I have been watching you for half that time.” I shrugged and looked back at my broken palm. I stroked along the scab once more. “May I see?”

“See what?” I asked tensing slightly as I saw Asher take a few steps forward. The golden haired vampire held his hand out in a non-threatening way.

“May I see your hand? The one you have been studying so intently?” I could see no reason to refuse, I could muster no objection. I still felt numb, the only thing piercing through the numbness was the pain and that would continue whether or not I allowed Asher to inspect my hand.

I held it out to him and he took a few more steps towards me. He sat on the edge of the bed and gently took my hand. One of his hands wrapped around my wrist gently but firmly, the other hand held my finger tips so my hand was flat with my wound facing upwards.

“How did you get this?”

“Blaise gave it to me. He cut my palm and I cut his then we pushed the cuts together. It bound us as blood brothers. It was the same ritual that people did in the olden days only it was slightly different for us. I could feel when he was near me after we bonded. It made us family. But it’s healing now, it’s going to heal without a scar. I’ll have nothing left of him other than my memories of him. I wish it would scar but I know it won’t.”

“You want to be marked in such an ugly fashion?” Asher asked and I could hear the utter disbelief at my words. I didn’t look at him, I just ran my fingers over the scab once more.

“It would have been a part of Blaise I kept within me; it wouldn’t have been ugly because it would be him.” I tried to explain. “I’d have a permanent reminder of my only brother on my skin, engraved into me. But it won’t scar, it’s started healing completely already and it won’t leave a mark. The one scar put there out of love not malice and now I won’t even get to keep it.”

“You are one in a minority to like the scars your body keeps.” Asher dropped my hand and stood up from the bed.

“So many people have left their mark on my body, what’s wrong with wanting to keep the one mark that wasn’t put there out of hate and malice?” I asked glancing up at the golden haired vampire.

“Indeed.” It wasn’t Asher who replied and I looked over to see Jean-Claude having entered the room with a very tall pale man, sorry Vampire, with blood red hair and eyes as green as my own. The red head carried some food on a tray for me.

“Well said, Harry, though perhaps that is enough lingering on bad memories for now. Damien,” Jean-Claude indicated to the vampire holding the food, “has brought you food prepared by his housemate. You shall find it free from poison and medicines that are not naturally in the foods anyway. I insist you eat for your body cannot function without sustenance and it would be poor manners indeed to refuse hospitality.”

Damien moved forwards and put the tray down on the table to the left of the room. I watched him set the tray down and move away, heading back towards the door.

“Thank you Damien. Please pass on my thanks to the chef.” I said quietly before slipping off the bed and moving towards the food making sure to keep a good distance between myself and my vampire companions.

I reached the food and looked down at it as I slid myself into a chair at the far end of the table. I pulled the food closer to me but didn’t start eating yet. There were at least three different types of vegetable on my plate, not including the new potatoes. Then there was chicken breast covered in a sauce. It looked like a grape sauce, from half pieces of green grapes that were littered amongst cream. It was one of Blaise’s favourite meals, but one I couldn’t cook very well. I always had trouble with new potatoes and with the sauce, though I didn’t know why.

Blaise always told me the house elves would cook the meal for him every Saturday when he was at home and occasionally he’d go to the kitchens and ask the elves to make it for him. Of course, he only started doing that after he’d bonded with me and he saw in my memories how to get into the kitchens. Before then he’d call his house elves from home and ask them to prepare and deliver the meal to him.

“Blaise loved chicken in grape sauce. I could never cook it right, not as well as his hou...family could but even when I didn’t cook it right he enjoyed the meal.”

“You were taster for him too then? You must have had a strong bond.” I looked up at Jean-Claude, noticing that Damian was watching me too as was Asher.

“Taster?”

“You tasted the food and shared your experience with him.” I frowned at Jean-Claude.

“No, Blaise ate it himself.” All the vampires shared a look before Jean-Claude slid into the chair opposite me. He leaned into the back of the chair in a seemingly casual way but the way he looked at me through lowered eyelids made me feel very put on the spot.

“I am afraid I do not understand. I have been a vampire for many centuries and never have I met a vampire who could consume any food other than blood. How is it possible for Blaise,” Jean-Claude let Blaise’s name flow from his lips but I could hear some stress put on the word, Jean-Claude was clearly unused to such a name though it was a French name just like his, “to eat like humans when he was, as you said, a vampire.”

“He was a half vampire.”

“Explain.” Jean-Claude demanded though he kept his voice low and melodic.

“Blaise’s mother was a wit...human.” I corrected myself quickly. “She married a lot in her life and then killed her husband not long after they willed her all their money in the event of her death. She met Blaise’s father after killing her third husband. Blaise told me she probably got his father to kill the other husband. Anyway, then she seduced Blaise’s father and he fell right in her web. Anyway, they got married, after much pushing from Blaise’s mother apparently, and then she fell pregnant with Blaise.

“Blaise told me his mother took great delight in telling him about how she killed Blaise’s father. She beheaded him when he was asleep. Then cast a spell on the place to look like it had been burgled into and kidnapped herself. She then reappeared in the Wizarding world a few weeks later looking worse for wear and claiming she was taken hostage after the men who took her killed her ‘beloved’ husband. She wasn’t a nice woman.

“Still, she gave birth to Blaise and because his father was a vampire Blaise ended up with vampire blood but was only half vampire because his mother was human.”

“Hm.” The vampires were silent so I took the chance to take a bite of chicken. It tasted gorgeous though I nearly spat it out when Jean-Claude next spoke.

“You said she cast a spell and mentioned a wizarding world. Explain that.” I froze, the muscles in my throat freezing mid swallow and the food getting stuck. I stared at Jean-Claude in horror. What had I done? I’d tried to keep that hidden only to spill it all out when explaining Blaise’s blood rights, of all things! It was bad enough I blabbed the whole story, spilling most of Blaise’s secrets along with it, let alone betraying the secrecy on the whole of the wizarding world. I pushed the food away from me and swallowed several times, clearing my throat from food and pushed my chair back along the floor.

“I wasn’t supposed to say anything. I shouldn’t have said anything!” I protested standing up and turning around only to see Asher and Damian stood not too far away. I wouldn’t get past them and I knew nowhere else in the room. I fell back into my chair with a loud exhale and resting my elbow on the table I covered my eyes again. My eyes stung but no more tears formed. My eyes felt bruised from crying so much and I’d cried to my limit for the day too apparently. It didn’t stop my breathing from picking up.

“Magic would explain you making the room shake. Blaise’s mother and you are witches. Magic is not unknown to us. I have never known a witch to feed a vampire though.” Jean-Claude theorised. I looked up at him and met his gaze. His eyes seemed to pierce through me and I tried to erect my mental shields to shield my memories.

“I’m not a witch. Girls are witches, I’m a wizard. Blaise was too.” I explained softly. He knew of magic, I wasn’t betraying any secrecy laws.

“Wizard...now I have not met on who calls himself a wizard for many years.” Jean-Claude said leaning forwards in his chair. “Yet I cannot sense your magic now. I can usually sense how powerful somebody is.”

“I’m not casting so I don’t need my magic right now. It’ll stay within me till I call it forwards.” I sighed again and rubbed my forehead.

“Your brother attended school during daylight hours. How was this possible?” Asher asked gently as he moved forwards till he stood by Jean-Claude’s seat. I didn’t spare him more than a glance before I looked at the table top and tan my fingers over the wood grain decorations.

“I told you he was a half vampire, he had immunity from it but he needed to eat a lot more. He’d drink more often from me and ate more meals to keep his energy up so he could withstand the sun. It helped that he was a wizard too, he could cast spells to help him shield from the sun.” I muttered in explanation.

“Hm. What about...” Jean-Claude started then paused slightly. He had a far away look on his face before his eyes focused once again on me. “We are getting off topic. There is business to attend to. Harry, your empathy is obviously not a recent thing. How have you coped with it in the past? How have you stayed sane when in a room full of people?”

We were onto a safer topic; I could talk about my empathy openly for everyone knew I had it and I wouldn’t betray any other secrets of other people by talking about me. I looked at Jean-Claude and answered honestly.

“I built shields in my mind. I built a landscape in my mind where I would be safe and put things in place to keep other people’s emotions out.”

“And what happened in the classroom to make you lose control like that?”

“My mind shields collapsed. They shattered. I shattered under the strain of everything. Losing Blaise...I couldn’t keep my shields up and when one shield fell I couldn’t focus solely on reconstructing it because I was too busy feeling the emotions that seeped through to concentrate properly.”

“And now? How are your shields now?” I looked down at my hands, fiddling with the nail on one hand.

“They’re broken.”

“Are they able to be mended?”

“No. My whole mindscape is shattered. I’ll have to rebuild everything.” My mindscape was still a mess. The cupboard under the stairs was no longer there, the wood was cracked and splintered and most of it had disappeared completely. I had broken under the strain. I had no fort to defend myself in and no place to hide myself.

“How long will it take to rebuild them so that you can have visitors who are unable to shield their emotions from you?” I slowly lifted my head and met Jean-Claude’s eyes again.

“I honestly don’t know. I never had to build the shields on my own, I was helped before. Blaise talked me through it step by step. I knew how to mend the shields, reconstruct one if it fell but the damage is to my mindscape as well not just the shields. Everything shattered under the strain. I have to start from scratch. I have to wipe the slate clean, build my landscape then erect and ground my shields. I don’t know how long it will take.”

“Well, I suggest you start by eating this first.” Jean-Claude leaned forwards and pushed my plat of food towards me. “I would like for somebody to stay and watch over you while you try to repair the damage done to you. I would stay however I must see to Mon petite and my pomme de sang should be coming to me shortly. Damian has nothing demanding on his time and Asher is free as well. If it is agreeable to you then they shall stay.”

I flicked my eyes to Asher. He was nice enough to me and none of them had tried to hurt me yet. Damian hadn’t said a word, just stood stony still. His hair reminded my of my mothers hair, as did his eyes. I had the same eyes as him, the same brilliant green.

“I don’t mind.” I said. I’d be more than uncomfortable with them watching me, and I’d be leaving myself vulnerable while I mended my mindscape, but Jean-Claude was my host and I’d broken many rules and upset many people already to purposefully upset any more.

“Bon. I shall bid you goodnight then and perhaps tomorrow we shall continue our talk.” Jean-Claude stood up and moved towards the door.

“Goodnight sir.” I whispered and picked up my fork. I pushed half of a grape around on my plate for a while, just playing with my food. I felt alone in the silent room, the door being the last sound in the room besides my breathing. Still, the hairs on the back of my neck let me know others were around me.

I shivered, goose bumps prickling up over my chest and arms. I should have put on the top I’d worn before. Instead I’d held the whole conversation topless. They didn’t seem to mind but it was very rude to be half dressed when in company. I rubbed my arm while continuing to push the grape around, circling it around the piece of chicken once.

“It is rude to play with ones food.” I immediately apologised at Asher’s reprimand and picked up my knife to eat properly. I took a mouthful only to find the food cold. I scowled at it. “It is not the food’s fault you left it uneaten until it cooled.”

I ignored him and muttered under my breath while giving my hand and the knife a flick. Immediately steam rose up from the food. I cut another piece of chicken off and put it in my mouth.

“It’s very nice. I can never make it taste like this.”

“I would hope not.” I jumped slightly at the voice and spun around to look at Damian for it definitely wasn’t Asher’s voice that made the comment. Damian’s eyes stared into mind. “The sauce is made with white wine. You are too young to purchase it.”

“Ah. That would be it then.” I gave Damian a weak smile and went back to my meal.

“You used magic to heat the food?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t feel the magic.” I didn’t know what to say to that so I said nothing, just ate my food. When I was full up I cast a cleaning spell at the plate and cutlery and moved towards the bathroom to get the top I’d been wearing before my shower. I came out wearing it, the white silk greatly contrasting against my tanned skin and did nothing to help the Goosebumps I still had. I went back into the bedroom and headed over to the bed.

“How do you build your mental shields?”

“I meditate.” I offered and settled myself in the middle of the bed. I crossed my legs and put my hands in my lap before looking at Asher and Damian who had moved to stand near the sofa. “Are you going to stay all the time?”

“Yes, until sunrise.”

“Okay.” I frowned. They’d just sit there and watch me mediated? I wasn’t going to do anything on the outside. Watching someone mediate is boring. Though they are vampires, they must be used to not doing a lot.

I closed my eyes and focused. I heard a creak and peeked at what the vampires were doing. They had both sat down on the sofa, at opposite ends. I sighed and closed my eyes once more. I regulated my breathing and focused on my mindscape. I surveyed to damage before getting to work.

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I came out of my meditation some time later to find the room deserted. The sun had obviously risen. I slowly pushed myself off the bed and went into the bathroom to relieve myself. When I came back out I noticed another plate of food on the table with a note next to it.

‘All vampires sleep during the day here so this shall be the last meal until sundown. Enjoy it.’

I sat down and ate the salmon. I’d built my mindscape up, I had tried to make the cupboard under the stairs again but that hadn’t anchored so I’d had to find another mindscape. Eventually I pulled up the image of my room at Blaise and my flat. It was just my bedroom and the one door out onto the hall. I built it up and put one main ward around it all before I’d had to retreat. I was better protected but not completely protected.

I finished the meal and moved to make the bed. I wasn’t tired, meditating doesn’t make you lose energy so I didn’t need to sleep yet. I didn’t want to meditate again. There was nothing to do in the room and because I was unprotected I couldn’t leave.

The flat. I could go to the flat. The flat had wards around it protecting me from other people’s emotions unless people were in the house. I could go to the house, bring some things back.

I moved to the middle of the room and pulled all my magic forward, it hummed along my skin and buzzed in my blood. In a mirror out of the corner of my eye I could see myself glowing. I concentrated on the flat and apparated.

The air cracked, a sound like a gunshot reverberating through the air. I was home. I was in my room. I had made an exact replica inside my mind, all except the clothes over the floor and the dirt in the bed from where I’d bled.

I walked over to the chest of drawers while I summoned my spare backpack to me. Grasping the backpack with one hand I tipped it empty and put it on top of the drawers and summoned my wand to me. I used my wand to cast a weightless and a bottomless charm on the bag before throwing my wand inside it. Next I put in a load of underwear, a bunch of tops and a few pairs of trousers and jeans.

I banished my hairbrush, toothbrush and other wash things into the bag before rummaging through my book collection. I threw all my school books, the ones that hadn’t been in my book-bag the day I collapsed in school, into the bag and all my exercise books. A few pens and pencils went in next as did a quill and some ink. Next went a few magic books; a Defence Against Dark Creatures guide, a transfiguration book and a book on mind magic.

I gathered myself to apparate again before I remembered I didn’t have any socks or shoes. I summoned some and threw them in the bag before apparating back to the room. Once there I unpacked. I put my clothes into a few neat piles and stacked my books up. I put my clothes back into my bag but kept out my shoes. My books I put on the desk that wasn’t too far from the bed. I decided I’d better do my school work, since I’d missed so much school already.

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