The Two Way Mirror
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Draco/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
12,332
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25
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Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Draco/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
12,332
Reviews:
25
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
5
The early morning sun crept through her window. Today is going to be a good day, Hermione thought to herself as she slipped out of bed and walked to the washroom for a hot shower.
Draco woke moments after Hermione had left the bed. He was trying to seek out the heat that was keeping him so warm but it wasn’t there.
“Draco, this is how it’s going to be from now on,” he told himself as his mind was once again reminding him of what was to happen today. He groaned in frustration as he pulled himself up and sat on the end of the bed.
A few hours were all he had left to spend with Hermione. Just as quickly as those thoughts filled his head, they vanished, replaced with panic as the Dark Lord called for him.
Draco did not have time to shower. So once he got into his room he grabbed his black Death Eater robes, golden mask and wand, then scurgified himself before he left his room and hurried down the hallway to the library.
It was times like this when he hated being a Death Eater. His personal life would have to be put on hold at the most inconvenient times. Just so he could do the Dark Lord’s bidding. The missions were usually unnecessary and thought up within a crazy mind. He knew he had to do it, more so now because of his new alignment
‘Stop thinking about that, you idiot! Remember, don’t let him mind fuck you,’ he told himself. Knowing his life could be at stake if he screwed this up in the slightest bit. He stepped into the fire grate hesitating a second. He listened to the water running in the bathroom. Would he be back in time to take her back? If not, Snape would know what happened.
He dropped the green powder and spoke of his parent’s home. Green flames swirled around him and a moment later he stepped out of the fire grate at the elegant Malfoy Manor. He pressed the tip of his wand to his mark and went from his parent’s home to the outskirts of town in Muggle London. A small home on a large acreage, strangers were rare to see and no one would guess the Dark Lord himself would affiliate himself.
The house was dark. Once he was close enough, he could smell the fire in the air and see smoke billowing out of the chimney. The air was cool and he could feel the dark power surrounding the house, an uneasy feeling setting in his stomach.
A few quiet pops announced the arrival of other black robed figures donning golden masks and they all headed towards the front door. In passing, they mumbled their greetings and proceeded down the short hallway into the main gathering room.
The walls were already lined with people in the black uniform with their gold masks on. A green high backed chair was to the side of the room facing the fire, a very large snake curled up on a green rug by the fire lay hissing by its master.
This was show time.
No other black cloaked people had shown up and the room was now full with a handful more than 70 people. The snake hissed and everyone knew Nagini was telling her master how many followers had shown up.
Within a moments time the chair had moved itself from facing the fire to facing the new arrivals in his home. Everyone fell to their knees, bowing to their master. Red eyes pierced into everyone for a moment searching their top most thoughts for fear or some kind of betrayal.
Draco brought back a memory of having supper with his weeping mother. He thought about her and how much she hurt from the loss of her husband.
The Dark Lord passed him quickly. He knew it was hard for the boy.
“There is a new mission.” Voldemort said from his high backed green chair, “Many of the Order of the Phoenix members have been seen wandering Hogsmead. I want it demolished! Tomorrow night at midnight, nothing should remain standing.”
The room mumbled in excitement. The more places they got to demolish, the sooner the war would come. Most of them could hardly wait and a few others dreaded the fact that their lives may end sooner then they hoped.
“Any member of the Phoenix will be brought in for questioning and torture.” He spoke again in a loud voice, silencing the room. “Do you understand?”
“Yes Master” it echoed through the entire house.
In synchronized movement everyone fell to their knees, bowing to their master one more time before leaving. They knew their mission, there was no need to hang about and talk about it.
Draco left as quickly as he came. Stopping in to see his mom for a brief moment and make sure she was doing alright, considering the circumstances. Her husband was sent to Azkaban and during an attempt at breaking out, he was given the kiss of death by a dementor.
The clock was ticking and he was running out of time to spend with Hermione. He stepped into the fire grate after kissing his mother good bye and dropped the black powder at his feet, green flames encircling him and he was gone.
......
Hermione was in the kitchen munching on dinner when Draco came through the doorway. He looked sad. Hermione’s breath hitched in her throat as she seen him in his black robes, holding a golden mask in his hands.
She did not make a comment about the dark robes and gold mask. Instead, she paid attention to her food, trying to avoid his questioning glare.
He had half the mind to push her out of his stool, but he realized what she was looking at. Him, in his death eater uniform. Standing in the kitchen in front of her, after saying he was going to spy for the light.
“It’s almost time to go,” he said as he headed out of the room to change into his normal clothing. He wanted more time with her. Maybe her feelings were changing from hate to something more. Something more towards a happy friendship and in time, who knows.
He berated himself on the last thought as he headed up the stairs and paused at her open bedroom door. It was only occupied for a few days, but he wished she would occupy it longer, or make his room more comfortable by staying there.
He hesitated before continuing on down the hallway.
Hermione’s mind was racing. She knew what he was doing. She knew she was going home. She longed for it, but she was also sad at the same time. No one had ever touched her, looked at her, or held her the way he had.
She was a modest, traditional woman. One man. That one man is the man you marry and the man you spend the rest of her life. Because of him, she would never have that. She would never speak to him again for what he did. All the while she did it to save her life, she enjoyed it. Not like she would ever admit that to anyone.
Her thoughts took a wrong turn. Could she ever spend her life with him? Had he really changed? Would Harry and Ron approve? Who cares if they did or did not approve. Wasn’t this her happiness, her life, her future?
With her eyes closed, she pictured her few nights with Draco. His touch, his taste, his lips, his face. Memories she concentrated extra hard on to keep for her lonely nights back at Hogwarts.
Soft, slow footsteps broke her thoughts and she looked at the doorway again waiting for Malfoy to return. In seconds he was there.
“Hermione…” he started not knowing where to go next. He wanted to say something.
“I’m sorry.” he said instead, holding out her wand for her to take back.
She didn’t say a word as she took her wand from his hand and placed it in her pocket. “Your things have been packed,” he said and gestured towards a black suit case.
“Malfoy, you don’t need to give those to me,” she said.
“I want you to have them.” He looked everywhere but at her. This was harder then he thought it was going to be. It felt like someone had ripped a hole in his chest where his heart was supposed to be, filled it with top notch fire whisky and let it burn away at his insides. “Let’s go,” he managed to choke out before leading the way to the fire grate. Draco knew they were out of time, but that didn’t stop him from wanting her once more. He turned to her, a glossy veil covering his sad eyes.
Hermione looked up as he took a step towards her, taken back by what was happening. Their eyes met for one last look. She lost herself in his cool blue-grey eyes, not noticing how close he had moved towards her until she felt his lips gently brush hers.
This was not enough for her. She dropped her luggage and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Her tongue darting out and exploring the cavern of his mouth, he tasted sweet. A groan escaped for his lips. He knew they had to stop.
He pulled back with all of his strength, immediately missing her soft lips. He grabbed a hold of her arm as she picked up her luggage. With his free arm he dropped the floo powder and said, “Professor Snape’s quarters.”
Hermione’s life felt as though it was whizzing by her in the green flames. Flooing had nothing to do with the reason why, it was the fact that she no longer knew what she wanted in life made it seem like it was going by so fast.
.......
Harry stood from his chair. Hermione was in his open arms in less than a second. Moody, Snape and Malfoy all looked at each other and then the meeting was to start.
They discussed a cover story for Hermione, to say she was captured by Death Eaters and managed to escape. Malfoy was not to be talked about to anyone. After that part was settled, Hermione was allowed to go and see her friends.
Her heart sank as she left the small office. Her eyes lingered a moment longer on a certain blond wizard. She glanced around the room one more time and left, no good-byes, just opened the door and walked out, letting it close behind her.
Hermione felt like her heart had ripped itself in half and she had no idea who she was. She was lost, lost and broken in ways no one would understand.
Her feet carried her down the familiar halls. The thought of school no longer excited her the way it used to. Books held no interest, friends no entertainments or conversation. She was quiet and different.
The picture leading into the Gryffindor Tower was of Dumbledore watching over the Order. Only allowing members through the portrait hole. “Welcome back Miss Granger,” he said as he swung open, granting her access to the tower.
At a slow pace, Hermione climbed the stairs one at a time until she made it to the top. With a deep sigh she rounded the corner into the common room. Ginny and Ron, who were in an extremely complicated game of wizards chess, leaped from their chairs and embraced her.
It was all a blur. She could not hear a word they were saying. Her mind was so far away.
“She’s tired Ron, let her go get some sleep,” Ginny said, grabbing her hand and leading her to a private room. She followed like a drone, incoherent and dazed.
Once the door was closed, Hermione walked over to the small bed. It was nothing like the one she slept in when she was held hostage, it was nothing like the one she shared with Draco Malfoy. Her thoughts wandered back to him. What was he doing? Was he thinking of her the way she was thinking of him?
She sat on her bed, her eyes finding the window, darkness, it was all around her.
.............
A week had passed and Hermione only started leaving her room for meals. Everyone in the Order showed a great amount of concern for her. She had no response to their questions. She didn’t really feel like talking. After meals, she retreated to her room and felt nauseous. Sometimes she threw up, others she did not.
She had barely spoken a word to anyone since her arrival back at Hogwarts and a lot of people thought the torture she must have endured from the Death Eaters was too much for her. A few times, the thought of seeking St. Mungo’s for professional help came to mind.
She was living her own nightmare, being alone, never loved. She knew the Order members were concerned for her, but did any of them love her? She thought not. Silent was what Hermione became.
One morning, she was sitting in her room and her stomach churned. It sent her running to the bathroom. She never made it. Instead, she stopped in an abandoned classroom to vomit. The sickness did not pass as it had done so many times. She closed her eyes wishing the bout of illness to pass and images flashed through her head.
His pale hand running across her tanned stomach. His lips on her neck, his touch on her skin, his breath in her ear, his hard member spilling his hot seed inside of her.
Hermione vomited again, was it possible? She vanished the vomit from the wastebasket and headed quickly back to her room. She knew the spell she needed to know, and once in the private walls of her room, she pointed her wand at her stomach and whispered “Pregnancio” a pink glow surrounded her stomach.
She knew what that meant. She should have thought about it sooner with all her bouts of illness. Why didn’t she? She needed to see him. She needed to tell him, she was having his baby.
Hermione scribbled a note on an old piece of parchment and then tore it up. She could not send him a note to meet her on an old piece of parchment. She ran to her desk and found the parchment her dad bought her at the beginning of 7th year and pulled out a piece of it.
She took her time to write the note to Draco Malfoy requesting a meeting, rolled up the parchment and went to the owlery to send the letter.
................
Draco Malfoy sat miserably on his black sofa staring at the window. He was looking at it, but wasn’t really seeing it. A gentle tapping took him out of his catatonic state. He stood quickly and approached the window.
The owl was small and brown, the same color of brown that Draco had dreamed of for over a week now. With the eyes of Hermione Granger. He untied the little knot and removed the parchment. He knew who it was from as soon as he saw the handwriting. He read the note:
Draco,
I need to see you. Please meet me the day after tomorrow 2:00am in the Room of Requirement.
HG
It was short and to the point. Her handwriting was wavy and perfect. He smiled. It was good to know he was not the only one who was affected by their little affair that had happened. She had wanted him too. The letter proved it.
A smile appeared on his face for the first time in days and he felt like his normal self, he had something to look forward to. He had Hermione to look forward to.
..........
The day passed quickly for Draco. He was half an hour early and sat in the Room of Requirement as anxious as a toddler on Christmas morning. He kept getting up and walking to the door, opening it and peering down the hallway, hoping to see her approaching.
He sat down and rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants and checked the time, 1:45am. He heard a sigh from the other side of the door, a long pause and then the door creaked open.
She looked stunning. She was in black silk sleep pants and a white halter top. Her hair was pulled back into a loose pony tail. She approached the couch and sat down right beside him. Her body heat made him warm and more anxious.
“Hi Draco,” she said.
He was shocked. It was the first time he had ever heard her use his first name, and in a soft tone. “Hi Hermione,” he replied, returning the soft tone.
It did not take him long to lose his self control. He didn’t even realize he had pulled her onto his lap, his lips seeking out hers. Her soft, warm lips met his and their tongues danced to the rhythm of their bodies.
‘This is not what you came here for.’ Hermione told herself and pulled away from the kiss. “Draco, I asked you here tonight because I need to talk to you,” she said looking into his eyes.
He was happy to see her, truly happy. He was not here just because she was his. Did he even know that she would never be anyone else’s? “What is it Hermione?” He asked with a voice full of concern.
“Draco....” she trailed off, it was harder than she thought it would have been. She should have just written it in a letter. But she couldn’t, she needed to see him, to kiss him, to have him hold her. “I’m...I’m pregnant.” She let it out.
With the hard part over with, she avoided his eyes. She rested her head on his shoulder and looked at the back of the room. Waiting for a reaction, anything.
“You’re WHAT!?” He screamed.
Hermione was moved to the vacant space on the couch. Draco had stood and started pacing the room.
“Pregnant,” she repeated and watched him.
He ran his hand ran through his hair. He was so lost. He thought she wanted him to come here to satisfy needs that could not be satisfied without him, without her! Not that she was bearing his child.
He did not speak. Instead, he paced back and forth across the room, mumbling to himself.
“You have to go into hiding!” he quickly stated.
“I will not!” She screamed in objection.
“But you’re not safe,” he said with a look of concern on his face.
“Neither are you!” was her retort.
“They will kill you.”
“I’m not the only person they’ll kill!”
He stopped pacing and looked at the witch. “There is no place for a woman in war!” he yelled as he threw himself down on the couch once again.
That was enough for Hermione, she was the top student of Hogwarts in her year, passed all her final exams with honors and could fight just like the rest of them and there was no place for HER in the war!
“If you have not noticed, war does not choose who lives and dies. Innocent women and children are killed over meaningless quarrels every day! I have just as much right to fight as you!”
Draco stopped. She was right, but there was no way she was winning this one. “That is MY unborn child in YOUR stomach. You will not be going into the battle. I took you once, I can and will take you again!” he yelled.
“You’re a disgrace to the male race!” she screamed, stomping out of the room.
Draco was left alone, with his thoughts. His eyes stung from the tears forming in the corner of his eyes. Streaks appeared down his face from the paths the tears had fallen.
He was in pain. What he wanted to make his world had just walked away from him, and it was his own fault. The pain in his left arm was greater than the pain in his heart. He realized he was being summoned by the Dark Lord.
..........
I walk alone
Think of home
Memories of long ago
No one knows I lost my soul long ago
Lied too much
She said that she's had enough
Am I too much
She said that she's had enough
Standing on my own
Remembering the one I left at home
Forget about the life I used to know
Forget about the one I left at home
The meeting was adjourned and the date was set for the day they would attack Hogwarts. Draco left the meeting quickly and walked into the fields by his home. He needed air, he needed to think.
I need to run far away
Can't go back to that place
Like she told me
I'm just a big disgrace
The words echoed through his head, “You’re a disgrace to the male race”
He hurt her, hurt her good. She was having his child. He should have been thrilled. He should have jumped at the opportunity to take her into his arms and hold her forever.
I walk alone
Think of home
Memories of long ago
No one knows I lost my soul long ago
His mind flashed back to the first time he had sex with her. It was on his desk, were he spent many hours after their last meeting with each other. Trying to write something down. An apology, a proposal, something. Anything to win her back. Her hair was in soft curls falling down her back. He had her pinned against the wall. She did not fight, she went with it. His lips crashed down on hers. She let him do it. The intense tightness when he entered her, when he broke through the barrier. How they moved together, it was all running through his memory.
His heart ached, he knew why. He no longer had a heart. It was left back in the Room of Requirement the night he watched Hermione walk away. No one knew how he felt. No one knew what he felt for her. He was lost without her. He would admit it now.
Lied too much
She said that she's had enough
Am I too much
She said that she's had enough
Standing on my own
Remembering the one I left at home
Forget about the life I used to know
Forget about the one I left at home
So now I'm standing here alone
I'm learning how to live life on my own
He remembered the time she wore the black lingerie set. She was stunning. Her actions made it seem as though she had done it many times before. Why didn’t you tell her you idiot? He thought to himself. You could have changed everything! You could have had her in your arms this moment. Instead it’s your own fault you are depressed. You deserve it! He told himself these things. He knew they were true.
Lied too much
I think that I've had enough
Am I too much
She said that she's had enough
I'm standing on my own
Remembering the one I left at home
Forget about the life I used to know
Forget about the one I left at home
So now I'm standing here alone
I'm learning how to live life on my own
Forget about the past I'll never know
Forget about the one I left at home
She left him. She had walked out of the room, out of his life. Leaving it dark. Dark and meaningless. He did not know who he was, what his purpose was. He was alone. He thought back to the last time they made love. It was in her room. He said he was sorry. If only she would have said something. Did she hear him? He could have told her more. He will tell her more.
***AN the song is ON MY OWN - 3 Days Grace, I hope you all like it!!!!! Thanx again to my Beta she’s been a lot of help already! Props to MetalHead you guys! If it was not for her, my story would probably be a big jumble of words! ***
** Beta’s note (if there is such a thing) - I apologize for the delay. Life has been so hectic lately. It seems that I’m the only person work calls when they need help. And of course, being the nice person I am (who also just does it for the money) I go in to help. But with doing that I lose time for things I would rather like to be doing. Hopefully the next chapter will be posted sooner. **
Draco woke moments after Hermione had left the bed. He was trying to seek out the heat that was keeping him so warm but it wasn’t there.
“Draco, this is how it’s going to be from now on,” he told himself as his mind was once again reminding him of what was to happen today. He groaned in frustration as he pulled himself up and sat on the end of the bed.
A few hours were all he had left to spend with Hermione. Just as quickly as those thoughts filled his head, they vanished, replaced with panic as the Dark Lord called for him.
Draco did not have time to shower. So once he got into his room he grabbed his black Death Eater robes, golden mask and wand, then scurgified himself before he left his room and hurried down the hallway to the library.
It was times like this when he hated being a Death Eater. His personal life would have to be put on hold at the most inconvenient times. Just so he could do the Dark Lord’s bidding. The missions were usually unnecessary and thought up within a crazy mind. He knew he had to do it, more so now because of his new alignment
‘Stop thinking about that, you idiot! Remember, don’t let him mind fuck you,’ he told himself. Knowing his life could be at stake if he screwed this up in the slightest bit. He stepped into the fire grate hesitating a second. He listened to the water running in the bathroom. Would he be back in time to take her back? If not, Snape would know what happened.
He dropped the green powder and spoke of his parent’s home. Green flames swirled around him and a moment later he stepped out of the fire grate at the elegant Malfoy Manor. He pressed the tip of his wand to his mark and went from his parent’s home to the outskirts of town in Muggle London. A small home on a large acreage, strangers were rare to see and no one would guess the Dark Lord himself would affiliate himself.
The house was dark. Once he was close enough, he could smell the fire in the air and see smoke billowing out of the chimney. The air was cool and he could feel the dark power surrounding the house, an uneasy feeling setting in his stomach.
A few quiet pops announced the arrival of other black robed figures donning golden masks and they all headed towards the front door. In passing, they mumbled their greetings and proceeded down the short hallway into the main gathering room.
The walls were already lined with people in the black uniform with their gold masks on. A green high backed chair was to the side of the room facing the fire, a very large snake curled up on a green rug by the fire lay hissing by its master.
This was show time.
No other black cloaked people had shown up and the room was now full with a handful more than 70 people. The snake hissed and everyone knew Nagini was telling her master how many followers had shown up.
Within a moments time the chair had moved itself from facing the fire to facing the new arrivals in his home. Everyone fell to their knees, bowing to their master. Red eyes pierced into everyone for a moment searching their top most thoughts for fear or some kind of betrayal.
Draco brought back a memory of having supper with his weeping mother. He thought about her and how much she hurt from the loss of her husband.
The Dark Lord passed him quickly. He knew it was hard for the boy.
“There is a new mission.” Voldemort said from his high backed green chair, “Many of the Order of the Phoenix members have been seen wandering Hogsmead. I want it demolished! Tomorrow night at midnight, nothing should remain standing.”
The room mumbled in excitement. The more places they got to demolish, the sooner the war would come. Most of them could hardly wait and a few others dreaded the fact that their lives may end sooner then they hoped.
“Any member of the Phoenix will be brought in for questioning and torture.” He spoke again in a loud voice, silencing the room. “Do you understand?”
“Yes Master” it echoed through the entire house.
In synchronized movement everyone fell to their knees, bowing to their master one more time before leaving. They knew their mission, there was no need to hang about and talk about it.
Draco left as quickly as he came. Stopping in to see his mom for a brief moment and make sure she was doing alright, considering the circumstances. Her husband was sent to Azkaban and during an attempt at breaking out, he was given the kiss of death by a dementor.
The clock was ticking and he was running out of time to spend with Hermione. He stepped into the fire grate after kissing his mother good bye and dropped the black powder at his feet, green flames encircling him and he was gone.
......
Hermione was in the kitchen munching on dinner when Draco came through the doorway. He looked sad. Hermione’s breath hitched in her throat as she seen him in his black robes, holding a golden mask in his hands.
She did not make a comment about the dark robes and gold mask. Instead, she paid attention to her food, trying to avoid his questioning glare.
He had half the mind to push her out of his stool, but he realized what she was looking at. Him, in his death eater uniform. Standing in the kitchen in front of her, after saying he was going to spy for the light.
“It’s almost time to go,” he said as he headed out of the room to change into his normal clothing. He wanted more time with her. Maybe her feelings were changing from hate to something more. Something more towards a happy friendship and in time, who knows.
He berated himself on the last thought as he headed up the stairs and paused at her open bedroom door. It was only occupied for a few days, but he wished she would occupy it longer, or make his room more comfortable by staying there.
He hesitated before continuing on down the hallway.
Hermione’s mind was racing. She knew what he was doing. She knew she was going home. She longed for it, but she was also sad at the same time. No one had ever touched her, looked at her, or held her the way he had.
She was a modest, traditional woman. One man. That one man is the man you marry and the man you spend the rest of her life. Because of him, she would never have that. She would never speak to him again for what he did. All the while she did it to save her life, she enjoyed it. Not like she would ever admit that to anyone.
Her thoughts took a wrong turn. Could she ever spend her life with him? Had he really changed? Would Harry and Ron approve? Who cares if they did or did not approve. Wasn’t this her happiness, her life, her future?
With her eyes closed, she pictured her few nights with Draco. His touch, his taste, his lips, his face. Memories she concentrated extra hard on to keep for her lonely nights back at Hogwarts.
Soft, slow footsteps broke her thoughts and she looked at the doorway again waiting for Malfoy to return. In seconds he was there.
“Hermione…” he started not knowing where to go next. He wanted to say something.
“I’m sorry.” he said instead, holding out her wand for her to take back.
She didn’t say a word as she took her wand from his hand and placed it in her pocket. “Your things have been packed,” he said and gestured towards a black suit case.
“Malfoy, you don’t need to give those to me,” she said.
“I want you to have them.” He looked everywhere but at her. This was harder then he thought it was going to be. It felt like someone had ripped a hole in his chest where his heart was supposed to be, filled it with top notch fire whisky and let it burn away at his insides. “Let’s go,” he managed to choke out before leading the way to the fire grate. Draco knew they were out of time, but that didn’t stop him from wanting her once more. He turned to her, a glossy veil covering his sad eyes.
Hermione looked up as he took a step towards her, taken back by what was happening. Their eyes met for one last look. She lost herself in his cool blue-grey eyes, not noticing how close he had moved towards her until she felt his lips gently brush hers.
This was not enough for her. She dropped her luggage and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Her tongue darting out and exploring the cavern of his mouth, he tasted sweet. A groan escaped for his lips. He knew they had to stop.
He pulled back with all of his strength, immediately missing her soft lips. He grabbed a hold of her arm as she picked up her luggage. With his free arm he dropped the floo powder and said, “Professor Snape’s quarters.”
Hermione’s life felt as though it was whizzing by her in the green flames. Flooing had nothing to do with the reason why, it was the fact that she no longer knew what she wanted in life made it seem like it was going by so fast.
.......
Harry stood from his chair. Hermione was in his open arms in less than a second. Moody, Snape and Malfoy all looked at each other and then the meeting was to start.
They discussed a cover story for Hermione, to say she was captured by Death Eaters and managed to escape. Malfoy was not to be talked about to anyone. After that part was settled, Hermione was allowed to go and see her friends.
Her heart sank as she left the small office. Her eyes lingered a moment longer on a certain blond wizard. She glanced around the room one more time and left, no good-byes, just opened the door and walked out, letting it close behind her.
Hermione felt like her heart had ripped itself in half and she had no idea who she was. She was lost, lost and broken in ways no one would understand.
Her feet carried her down the familiar halls. The thought of school no longer excited her the way it used to. Books held no interest, friends no entertainments or conversation. She was quiet and different.
The picture leading into the Gryffindor Tower was of Dumbledore watching over the Order. Only allowing members through the portrait hole. “Welcome back Miss Granger,” he said as he swung open, granting her access to the tower.
At a slow pace, Hermione climbed the stairs one at a time until she made it to the top. With a deep sigh she rounded the corner into the common room. Ginny and Ron, who were in an extremely complicated game of wizards chess, leaped from their chairs and embraced her.
It was all a blur. She could not hear a word they were saying. Her mind was so far away.
“She’s tired Ron, let her go get some sleep,” Ginny said, grabbing her hand and leading her to a private room. She followed like a drone, incoherent and dazed.
Once the door was closed, Hermione walked over to the small bed. It was nothing like the one she slept in when she was held hostage, it was nothing like the one she shared with Draco Malfoy. Her thoughts wandered back to him. What was he doing? Was he thinking of her the way she was thinking of him?
She sat on her bed, her eyes finding the window, darkness, it was all around her.
.............
A week had passed and Hermione only started leaving her room for meals. Everyone in the Order showed a great amount of concern for her. She had no response to their questions. She didn’t really feel like talking. After meals, she retreated to her room and felt nauseous. Sometimes she threw up, others she did not.
She had barely spoken a word to anyone since her arrival back at Hogwarts and a lot of people thought the torture she must have endured from the Death Eaters was too much for her. A few times, the thought of seeking St. Mungo’s for professional help came to mind.
She was living her own nightmare, being alone, never loved. She knew the Order members were concerned for her, but did any of them love her? She thought not. Silent was what Hermione became.
One morning, she was sitting in her room and her stomach churned. It sent her running to the bathroom. She never made it. Instead, she stopped in an abandoned classroom to vomit. The sickness did not pass as it had done so many times. She closed her eyes wishing the bout of illness to pass and images flashed through her head.
His pale hand running across her tanned stomach. His lips on her neck, his touch on her skin, his breath in her ear, his hard member spilling his hot seed inside of her.
Hermione vomited again, was it possible? She vanished the vomit from the wastebasket and headed quickly back to her room. She knew the spell she needed to know, and once in the private walls of her room, she pointed her wand at her stomach and whispered “Pregnancio” a pink glow surrounded her stomach.
She knew what that meant. She should have thought about it sooner with all her bouts of illness. Why didn’t she? She needed to see him. She needed to tell him, she was having his baby.
Hermione scribbled a note on an old piece of parchment and then tore it up. She could not send him a note to meet her on an old piece of parchment. She ran to her desk and found the parchment her dad bought her at the beginning of 7th year and pulled out a piece of it.
She took her time to write the note to Draco Malfoy requesting a meeting, rolled up the parchment and went to the owlery to send the letter.
................
Draco Malfoy sat miserably on his black sofa staring at the window. He was looking at it, but wasn’t really seeing it. A gentle tapping took him out of his catatonic state. He stood quickly and approached the window.
The owl was small and brown, the same color of brown that Draco had dreamed of for over a week now. With the eyes of Hermione Granger. He untied the little knot and removed the parchment. He knew who it was from as soon as he saw the handwriting. He read the note:
Draco,
I need to see you. Please meet me the day after tomorrow 2:00am in the Room of Requirement.
HG
It was short and to the point. Her handwriting was wavy and perfect. He smiled. It was good to know he was not the only one who was affected by their little affair that had happened. She had wanted him too. The letter proved it.
A smile appeared on his face for the first time in days and he felt like his normal self, he had something to look forward to. He had Hermione to look forward to.
..........
The day passed quickly for Draco. He was half an hour early and sat in the Room of Requirement as anxious as a toddler on Christmas morning. He kept getting up and walking to the door, opening it and peering down the hallway, hoping to see her approaching.
He sat down and rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants and checked the time, 1:45am. He heard a sigh from the other side of the door, a long pause and then the door creaked open.
She looked stunning. She was in black silk sleep pants and a white halter top. Her hair was pulled back into a loose pony tail. She approached the couch and sat down right beside him. Her body heat made him warm and more anxious.
“Hi Draco,” she said.
He was shocked. It was the first time he had ever heard her use his first name, and in a soft tone. “Hi Hermione,” he replied, returning the soft tone.
It did not take him long to lose his self control. He didn’t even realize he had pulled her onto his lap, his lips seeking out hers. Her soft, warm lips met his and their tongues danced to the rhythm of their bodies.
‘This is not what you came here for.’ Hermione told herself and pulled away from the kiss. “Draco, I asked you here tonight because I need to talk to you,” she said looking into his eyes.
He was happy to see her, truly happy. He was not here just because she was his. Did he even know that she would never be anyone else’s? “What is it Hermione?” He asked with a voice full of concern.
“Draco....” she trailed off, it was harder than she thought it would have been. She should have just written it in a letter. But she couldn’t, she needed to see him, to kiss him, to have him hold her. “I’m...I’m pregnant.” She let it out.
With the hard part over with, she avoided his eyes. She rested her head on his shoulder and looked at the back of the room. Waiting for a reaction, anything.
“You’re WHAT!?” He screamed.
Hermione was moved to the vacant space on the couch. Draco had stood and started pacing the room.
“Pregnant,” she repeated and watched him.
He ran his hand ran through his hair. He was so lost. He thought she wanted him to come here to satisfy needs that could not be satisfied without him, without her! Not that she was bearing his child.
He did not speak. Instead, he paced back and forth across the room, mumbling to himself.
“You have to go into hiding!” he quickly stated.
“I will not!” She screamed in objection.
“But you’re not safe,” he said with a look of concern on his face.
“Neither are you!” was her retort.
“They will kill you.”
“I’m not the only person they’ll kill!”
He stopped pacing and looked at the witch. “There is no place for a woman in war!” he yelled as he threw himself down on the couch once again.
That was enough for Hermione, she was the top student of Hogwarts in her year, passed all her final exams with honors and could fight just like the rest of them and there was no place for HER in the war!
“If you have not noticed, war does not choose who lives and dies. Innocent women and children are killed over meaningless quarrels every day! I have just as much right to fight as you!”
Draco stopped. She was right, but there was no way she was winning this one. “That is MY unborn child in YOUR stomach. You will not be going into the battle. I took you once, I can and will take you again!” he yelled.
“You’re a disgrace to the male race!” she screamed, stomping out of the room.
Draco was left alone, with his thoughts. His eyes stung from the tears forming in the corner of his eyes. Streaks appeared down his face from the paths the tears had fallen.
He was in pain. What he wanted to make his world had just walked away from him, and it was his own fault. The pain in his left arm was greater than the pain in his heart. He realized he was being summoned by the Dark Lord.
..........
I walk alone
Think of home
Memories of long ago
No one knows I lost my soul long ago
Lied too much
She said that she's had enough
Am I too much
She said that she's had enough
Standing on my own
Remembering the one I left at home
Forget about the life I used to know
Forget about the one I left at home
The meeting was adjourned and the date was set for the day they would attack Hogwarts. Draco left the meeting quickly and walked into the fields by his home. He needed air, he needed to think.
I need to run far away
Can't go back to that place
Like she told me
I'm just a big disgrace
The words echoed through his head, “You’re a disgrace to the male race”
He hurt her, hurt her good. She was having his child. He should have been thrilled. He should have jumped at the opportunity to take her into his arms and hold her forever.
I walk alone
Think of home
Memories of long ago
No one knows I lost my soul long ago
His mind flashed back to the first time he had sex with her. It was on his desk, were he spent many hours after their last meeting with each other. Trying to write something down. An apology, a proposal, something. Anything to win her back. Her hair was in soft curls falling down her back. He had her pinned against the wall. She did not fight, she went with it. His lips crashed down on hers. She let him do it. The intense tightness when he entered her, when he broke through the barrier. How they moved together, it was all running through his memory.
His heart ached, he knew why. He no longer had a heart. It was left back in the Room of Requirement the night he watched Hermione walk away. No one knew how he felt. No one knew what he felt for her. He was lost without her. He would admit it now.
Lied too much
She said that she's had enough
Am I too much
She said that she's had enough
Standing on my own
Remembering the one I left at home
Forget about the life I used to know
Forget about the one I left at home
So now I'm standing here alone
I'm learning how to live life on my own
He remembered the time she wore the black lingerie set. She was stunning. Her actions made it seem as though she had done it many times before. Why didn’t you tell her you idiot? He thought to himself. You could have changed everything! You could have had her in your arms this moment. Instead it’s your own fault you are depressed. You deserve it! He told himself these things. He knew they were true.
Lied too much
I think that I've had enough
Am I too much
She said that she's had enough
I'm standing on my own
Remembering the one I left at home
Forget about the life I used to know
Forget about the one I left at home
So now I'm standing here alone
I'm learning how to live life on my own
Forget about the past I'll never know
Forget about the one I left at home
She left him. She had walked out of the room, out of his life. Leaving it dark. Dark and meaningless. He did not know who he was, what his purpose was. He was alone. He thought back to the last time they made love. It was in her room. He said he was sorry. If only she would have said something. Did she hear him? He could have told her more. He will tell her more.
***AN the song is ON MY OWN - 3 Days Grace, I hope you all like it!!!!! Thanx again to my Beta she’s been a lot of help already! Props to MetalHead you guys! If it was not for her, my story would probably be a big jumble of words! ***
** Beta’s note (if there is such a thing) - I apologize for the delay. Life has been so hectic lately. It seems that I’m the only person work calls when they need help. And of course, being the nice person I am (who also just does it for the money) I go in to help. But with doing that I lose time for things I would rather like to be doing. Hopefully the next chapter will be posted sooner. **