HOME IS WHERE HIS HEART IS

Chapter Five


“He’s been through so much,” Doreen quietly said.

“Cheyanne spoke very highly of Mister Sutton,” Doctor Michaels replied. “Arrangements will need to be made for Cheyanne. She had no remaining family, as far as I am aware of.”

“Her father may be alive somewhere but he left when she was very young. I’ll help Harry with the arrangements,” Doreen said.

“I knew Cheyanne since her mother brought her in with a broken leg from falling from a tree. She was around six years old at the time. The baby has a long way to go, but I think he’ll be okay,” the doctor said.

Doreen silently nodded to the doctor, then walked closer to Harry to stand beside him, to look at the wiggling baby in the incubator, slowly rubbing his back in soothing circles.

“God, Doreen,” Harry cried, turning to hug her tight.

“It will be okay, Harry,” Doreen quietly said, holding onto him as he cried against her shoulder. “Come on. You can come back tomorrow,” she said, leading him past the surgery doors where Cheyanne still lay, then past the doors into the early morning light.

Once back at the bar, she led Harry up the back stairs to his apartment, then to his bedroom. She gently took off his runners and put a thin blanket over him. She took out her wand from the hidden pocket of her jeans and placed a light sleeping charm on him, then placed Cheyanne’s letter by his bedside.

She went down to the bar, and was not surprised to see Mitch and the other staff sitting at the large table with coffee in front of them. She poured herself a cup, then sat down beside Mitch.

“Where’s Haze?” Mitch asked. “How’s Chey?”

“Haze is upstairs sleeping,” she quietly said, a few tears escaping from her tired eyes. “Cheyanne passed away soon after we got to the hospital.”

“What?! But she was okay earlier. Wasn’t she? She was just in labor, right?” Crystal asked, a friend and waitress who worked at the bar.

“Cheyanne was not okay as it turns out,” Doreen replied. “She was diagnosed with cancer a year ago. The doctor still needs to do some tests to find the cause of death.”

“Shit,” Dylan whispered, one of the bouncers. “How is Haze doin’?”

“What about the baby?” Mitch asked, still trying to grasp that Cheyanne wouldn’t be walking into the bar again anytime soon.

“Haze is – is taking it hard. He’s lost a lot of people close to him in his life. He may blame himself for Cheyanne’s death.”

“I’ll watch out for him,” Mitch said. “And the baby?”

“Colby James is in the intensive care ward. Cheyanne had stopped breathing and the baby had to be delivered by caesarian section. The baby wasn’t breathing normally so he is on a ventilator and they are monitoring his life signs. I’m sure he’ll pull through though,” she finished. ‘His magic will help him pull through,’ she thought to herself.

“When is the funeral going to be?” Dylan asked.

“The doctor still has to find out the cause of death. Possibly next week,” Doreen replied. “We’ll wait to talk to Harry about it tomorrow.”

“Anything he needs, he has it,” Mitch vowed.

“Give him some time,” Doreen sighed. “I need to head home and tell the others. Tell Harry I’ll be back tonight.”

“Come through the back way, Doreen. I’ll be closing the bar for a few days,” Mitch said.

“Check up on him later, hmm,” Doreen said, leaving the morose group behind as she made her way home to the ranch.


~*~


Harry woke up groggy and disorientated, feeling the aftereffects from Doreen’s sleeping charm. He looked up at the ceiling as he became more awake, thinking yesterday was just a bad dream. He looked to his side table and saw the letter from Cheyanne – no – not a bad dream.

He pulled himself out of the bed and stripped off his clothes as he went to the bathroom. He wanted to be clean and a bit refreshed when he went to the hospital to see his son. He felt his eyes mist up, seeing Cheyanne’s perfumes, creams, and hair stuff on the bathroom counter. He turned his back on the reminder and set the temperature for the shower before stepping in. He washed his hair and body in automation, then rinsed himself clean, trying to gather himself before he brought himself to read the letter.

After slipping on a pair of jeans and T-shirt, he picked up the letter and sat on the couch in the living room. He took a few deep fortifying breaths, then slid his finger under the flap to open it.

Haze . . . Harry,

If you are reading this, it means that I have died . . . either before our baby was born or during. I am sorry I did not tell you I was sick, Harry. It’s not that I didn’t think you could handle it, I just didn’t want you to treat me any different. When my mom told me she had cancer I saw her differently. She was now a delicate fragile woman. I was constantly worried for her, especially when it got worse. I watched her come home drained and even more sick after her radiation treatments, and I did not want to go through that.

You have been the best Harry. I’ve never let myself get as close to a person as I let you. I’m so glad I did. I think you will be an amazing father, Harry, and I am sorry I left you like that. Our son or daughter will flourish under your care.

A few days after my death, you should probably expect a visit from my lawyer. Our child is to be given your last name . . . Sutton. If you prefer the other, go with it. I’ve started also a savings account for our child. Your name is on the papers at the bank also. It’s not much, but it’s a start for their future. Everything I own is yours, Harry . . . well besides the clothing I suppose. You wouldn’t look so good in that leather mini skirt.

Harry smiled a watery smile.

Crystal is about my size, maybe give them to her. Please keep the jewelry to give to our child, especially mom’s ring, and the heart pendent you gave me.

My headaches have been getting worse the past month. Your special drinks have helped. Thank you. Thank you for showing me your world, a world our son or daughter will be involved in someday.

Now, enough blabbering, I know you will blame yourself Harry, but this was not your fault. Your kind have not come up with a cure for cancer, as you told me a while back, but I think I’ve accepted that I will be leaving you soon. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still scared shitless, but I do feel better that you’ll be there for our child.

Make me a promise Harry. Promise me you will contact Draco, or at least Remus and your friends. You don’t realize how important friendships are until it’s too late. I cherished ours.

I love you, Harry, and will always be with you. Sappy as hell, I know, but true.

Love Chey

P.S. Please . . . no big funeral.


Harry finished the letter, then read it again. He felt better – sad, but better. He carefully folded the letter and took it to his room. He would put it with Cheyanne’s personal things he planned to keep with him.

He walked through the apartment, reminiscing of the past couple of years spent here with Chey. He then made up his mind to move. Above a bar was no place to raise his son. He slipped on a pair of runners, and grabbed up his leather jacket and bike helmet, then went down to the bar where Mitch was reading the paper.

“Don’t you ever go home, Mitch,” Harry smiled, pouring himself a coffee to sit across from him.

“Yeah, but I’m expecting a beer delivery,” Mitch said. “How’re you doing, Haze?”

“I’m okay. I still am trying to grasp the fact that she’s not around. Did you know she had cancer, Mitch?”

“No, I didn’t back then. Doreen told us when you guys got back from the hospital. She wasn’t feeling well lately, but I thought it was just her pregnancy,” Mitch replied. “You going to see your son?”

“Yeah. Right away. I hope he’s okay,” Harry said.

“They would have called you if something happened. So, I expect you’ll be looking for a place to raise him,” Mitch smiled.

“I think so. I have money of my own, so I was thinking of buying some acreage or something,” Harry grinned.

“We’ll miss you here, Haze,” Mitch said. “Shit, Cheyanne, and you going.”

“Yes, but at least I can come to visit,” Harry sadly replied. “Will you help me, Mitch, making the funeral arrangements? She would have wanted to be buried next to her mum, I think.”

“There’s a funeral home by the hospital. Feel up to going today? Because, I can go after the delivery comes,” Mitch volunteered.

“No, I’ll go,” Harry said. He downed the rest of his coffee, then stood up. “I’ll be back later, Mitch.”

Harry went out back to the garage and rolled out his motorbike – Sirius’s old motorbike. It was one of the only things that he left with. He revved up the engine, smiling at the feel of the vibrating machinery under him. His first stop – funeral home, then the hospital to see his son.


~*~


Two hours later, Harry straddled his bike again, sitting back as he rubbed his eyes. Cheyanne’s arrangements were made for her to be buried next to her mother next week. He held back his tears, then leaned forward to start the bike, his heart lifting at the prospect of seeing Colby.

He asked for Doctor Michaels in the neonatal ward, and waited by the window where he could see the same incubator with his son still in it.

“Hello, Mister Sutton,” Doctor Michaels greeted. “How are you doing?”

“Harry, call me Harry,” Harry replied giving the doctor a strained smile. “Could be better, but it will get easier. She was a great friend and I’ll miss her.”

“And you’ll have Colby,” he grinned.

“Yes,” Harry smiled. “How is he doing? When can I take him home?”

“His breathing has improved overnight. We’re still monitoring him. It could be a couple of weeks yet.”

“How long will he be in the incubator?”

“If all goes well, within a couple of days. Do you want to go in and see him?” The doctor asked.

“Can I?” Harry asked eagerly.

“Yes.”

“I’d love to get a closer look at him,” Harry grinned.

Doctor Michaels led Harry through the doors to the incubator. He watched Harry nervously approach his son. “It looks worse than it is with all the wires connected to him, but they enable us to monitor his life signs.”

“Has he opened his eyes? What color are they?” Harry asked, looking in wonder at his son in his little blue bonnet and blanket.

“He hasn’t opened them yet. The color won’t be determined until around six months. They’ll most likely be blue at first, but may take after your green eyes or Cheyanne’s blue. Have you got everything ready for him when you take him home?” The doctor asked.

“Yes. Cheyanne and I have bought the basics we need, like the crib, bassinette, supply of diapers, clothes, and stuff. Also, a car seat. I’ll be looking for a new place before I can bring him home. Cheyanne and I talked about it but we never – never looked into it more,” Harry hoarsely said.

Doctor Michaels lay a comforting hand on Harry’s shoulder. “There wasn’t anything you could have done,” he quietly said, then gave Harry a small smile. “Cheyanne told me you lost other people you cared about in your life. She didn’t want you to blame yourself.”

“I know,” Harry quietly said.

Harry talked a bit more with the doctor about the funeral arrangements and Colby. The doctor left him alone when he was paged, letting Harry just gaze down at his son. He lay his hand on top of the incubator, over his tiny body. He felt a slight tingle of magic coming from Colby and reached out with his own magic to meet it. Harry smiled when he felt the connection. He couldn’t wait to hold him.

“I love you, Colby,” Harry whispered before leaving the room.


Once outside, he sat astride his bike again, still feeling Colby inside him. He took out his cell phone that Cheyanne always insisted he carry with him, and punched an automated number.

One ring – two rings –

“Hello,” was heard on the other end.

“Hey, Doreen,” Harry greeted.

“Haze, I was just about to go to the hospital.”

“I’m here now.”

“How is Colby?” Doreen asked.

“He’s getting better. Still in the incubator though. Instead of you coming here, do you mind if I ride out there?” Harry asked.

“Of course not, Haze. Just head back to the bar, then hang a right. It’s about a half hour from there. We’ll talk more when you come out,” Doreen said, a smile heard from his end of the phone.

“Leaving right away. Thanks, Doreen,” Harry grinned, then shut the connection off and put the cell phone back in his jacket pocket.

He took his time riding out, taking note of the occasional ‘For Sale’ signs out by the roadside. The road wasn’t a busy road, but it was calming as he rode. Doreen’s place wasn’t that hard to find considering he’d never been there. He and Cheyanne were friends with Doreen and her brother Keith for about a year now, but never really socialized outside of the bar or in the community events. He rolled past the large wooden archway and rode past rolling pastures, the occasional horses seen grazing. He stopped at the large house, and shut the motor off before taking his helmet off.

“Nice bike,” a black-haired boy of five said, coming up to Harry. “I’ve never been on a bike.”

“Hi. You must be Michael,” Harry smiled. “Your mom around?”

“Yeah, she’s . . . ”

“Michael. Don’t bother, Haze,” Doreen admonished, coming up to hug Harry when he got off the bike.

“Hey, Doreen. Michael wasn’t bothering me,” Harry smiled, following Doreen onto the wide porch.

“I’ll be right back, Haze,” Doreen said. “I’ll get us some lemonade, or would you like something a bit stronger?”

“A beer would be great,” Harry smiled.

“Come, Michael. You can help me bring it out,” Doreen said.

“And some cookies? Haze prob’ly would like some cookies with his beer,” Michael said, following his mom.

Harry smirked then leaned his elbows on his knees as he looked around the property. The house was well kept, the lawn green, the floral beds vibrant with colors and smells. In the distance he could see the large barn surrounded with fenced in corrals. He saw a few men in one of the corrals working with a beautiful black stallion – or trying to, he amended, frowning as the horse pinned his ears flat to his head. The men had him backed into a corner, which he obviously didn’t like, even to Harry’s inexperienced eye.

As he waited for Doreen and Michael to return, he leaned on the porch railing and looked around again, but his gaze was pulled back to the corral, where the horse had wheeled and crow-hopped to a different corner. The men pinned the beautiful stallion once more but were still not having much luck getting any closer to him.

“That’s Nix. He’s ornery,” Michael said, handing Harry an iced beer bottle.

“Ornery?” Harry grinned.

“He’s wild. He won’t let too many of us near him. We found him trapped in the canyon,” Doreen said, placing a tray on the table and picking up her own beer.

“Who named him Nix?” Harry asked.

“I did,” Michael proudly said. “Can I go for a ride on your bike, Haze?”

“Michael,” Doreen admonished.

“It’s okay, Doreen,” Harry grinned. “Maybe later, Michael. I have some things I need to talk to your mom about first.”

“Do you want to go for a walk while we talk?” Doreen asked. “I’ll show you around a bit.”

Harry nodded, then walked in stride with Doreen as they walked toward the back of the house. The smell of apples overwhelming his senses.

“Smells good here, “ Harry sighed, watching Michael chase a scruffy looking dog through the trees.

“So, how are you, Haze?” Doreen asked.

“I’m good. I miss her, Doreen. I haven’t let anyone close to me since . . . ”

“Since your godfather and friends died,” Doreen finished, having read about it in the Daily Prophet.

“Yeah, Ron and Hermione were my best friends. We had gone through so much together. Cheyanne and I weren’t friends as long, but she balanced me out. You know what I mean?” Harry said. Doreen nodded her head in understanding.

“She had been through a lot in her life with her mom dying and her father leaving. She was a strong woman,” Harry sighed. “I’m sad that she’s gone, but I know she wouldn’t want me to fall apart. But gods, it is hard if I think about it too long.”

“Now you have Colby,” Doreen kindly said.

“Yes, I have Colby. I was at the hospital, and I reached out with my magic. We connected. It was amazing, Doreen. I know he’ll be all right. I felt it,” Harry said.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Doreen asked.

“I want to stay around here, but I don’t want to raise Colby over the bar. I noticed a few sale signs coming out here. Do you know anything about any of them?”

“There’s the Gunther Place. He’s looking to sell, but the daughter may buy,” Doreen said, as they came up to the corral where the men were trying to calm Nix. “There’s also the Dawson Place. He was a dark wizard. No family to take over.”

“Maybe I should check out the realtor in town,” Harry sighed, looking at Nix. The horse’s ears perked up as it met Harry’s eyes. He held his hand out and to the surprise of the others and himself, he cautiously reached over the fence.

Doreen stood silent as the stallion neared, nodding the others off when they were approaching Nix. Nix lowered his head, sniffing Harry’s hand before feeling it was all right to come closer. Harry smiled as he rubbed the warm black hide between Nix’s eyes.

“You can always stay here, Harry,” Doreen quietly said.

“What?” Harry asked, turning to look at Doreen.

“You are the first person that Nix has approached here, and it would be a great place to raise Colby. You can help with the horses.”

“But, I don’t know anything about horses,” Harry said, then looked back at Nix who had nudged his shoulder with its muzzle.

“We’ll teach you,” Doreen smiled.

“He can stay in your old place, Dory,” Keith said, agreeing with his sister, watching as Nix trotted to the other side of the corral.

“Perfect! It’s a three-bedroom cottage that would be perfect for you and Colby. It used to be mine and Brian’s when mom and dad were alive, but when they passed, we moved into the house,” Doreen grinned.

“It’s not real close, so you’d still have your privacy. The road leading to the place is just off the main road to our place,” Keith smiled.

“But . . . ” Harry began.

“And Colby will have Michael to play with,” Doreen added.

“And we could pay you to work here with the horses,” Keith grinned.

“Won’t be much because we’re just starting with the horse training,” Doreen said.

“Stop! Hold it you two,” Harry laughed. “First of all, I don’t need the money. If anything, I’d like to buy into the business.”

“But you don’t . . . ” Doreen said.

“I’ve got three vaults at Gringott’s that haven’t been touched in years. If the offer is still good to move here, that’s the deal. Take it or leave it,” Harry smirked, crossing his arms at his chest, liking the idea of living here in the country.

“It’s a lot of work,” Keith said.

“I’m up to it,” Harry replied.

“You haven’t even seen the cottage,” Doreen said.

“I trust you. If I don’t like something, I’ll change it,” Harry shrugged. “If that’s all right with you?”

“Can we think about it, Haze?” Keith said. “About the partner thing?”

“Of course,” Harry grinned. “But I’d still like to buy the cottage and the land around it. I’ve never bought my own house before, and I think Colby would like growing up here.”

“Well maybe I should show you to your new home then, Haze,” Doreen grinned, reaching out to hug Harry.

“Can I ride with you, Haze?” Michael asked, hearing the last bit that Harry would be staying close by.

Harry nodded and went to his bike while Doreen went to get the truck for him to follow. He magicked Michael a helmet and pulled him up to sit in front of him. He started the bike, grinning when Michael laughed and looked up at him. He slowly started forward, keeping an arm around Michael’s waist and the other gripped on the bars of the bike. He rode slow as he followed the truck, answering Michael’s consistent questions about his bike.

Doreen got out of the truck, waiting for Harry to ride up, smiling when she saw Michael’s face beaming up at Harry as he talked about the things they passed. When the bike stopped, Harry helped Michael down then was surprised when the little guy took his hand to lead him to the house.

“The yard gets cut once a week, but the flower beds could use some attention,” Doreen said, guiding him around the house. “I used to have a vegetable garden out back. It wouldn’t take much to get it going again. There are also raspberry and strawberry bushes out back.”

“It’s got a huge swimming hole in the trees, too,” Michael added.

“The property is pretty closed off with a forest that backs the yard, about a half mile in there’s a lagoon. Here, and also the main house is warded from Muggles seeing magic. We deal with a lot of non-magic people, but they don’t see the occasional slip of magic that we sometimes use.”

“But they see the house?” Harry asked.

“Yes, except for a few areas. There’s a warded off area where the boys let loose on their brooms or dueling,” Doreen said.

“How many magical people work for you?” Harry asked, picking a raspberry and popping it into his mouth.

“There’s only two men that are Muggles, but know of magic. A few are squibs.”

“Do they know who I am? I’ve seen a few of them at the bar and they never said anything.”

“Just me and Keith know who you really are. It’s up to you if you want to share your past. They’ve heard of you, but don’t know how much you changed since then.”

Doreen went around to the front again, and opened the door. “It’s never locked, but you can if it makes you feel more secure.”

Harry stepped through, liking the rustic open floor plan. The ceiling was high and open. An archway led to a kitchen where all the modern appliances were there. A set of patio doors led out to a back porch from the kitchen, where a rocking chair sat motionless. They came back to the living room to then go down a short hall to doors that led to a master bedroom with an attached bathroom, and two smaller bedrooms. Another door opened into a bathroom with a sunken bathtub, and a separate shower.

“There’s a bit of furniture here and you’re welcome to keep it,” Doreen said, leading him to the living room. “We were going to build an office in here once upon a time. The ceilings high enough to add another room. Well, do you like it?”

Harry looked around the room seeing the work that needed to be done, but also seeing the love Doreen and Brian had felt for their home when they lived here. He could easily imagine raising Colby here. “I love it,” Harry grinned, walking to the large fireplace.

“I’m glad, Haze. The fireplace is a working one, for Flooing or having an actual fire to warm up the house. There might even be some Floo powder on the mantle still,” Doreen smiled.

Harry lifted a lid to a wooden box to see blue glittery powder. “Why is it blue?”

“Blue powder is for longer distances. I used to visit or talk to my relatives in Britain.”

Harry picked up the box, sifting his fingers through the blue powder. “Do you mind if I used some? Cheyanne reminded me how important friends are. I’ve kind of neglected a few people back there.”

“Sure, Haze. Just say Dory Jeffries in Serendipity when you come back. It will bring you back here. There’s blankets in the hall closet, if you want to stay the night when you come back.”

“Thanks again, Doreen,” Harry quietly said, hugging her again.

“So you’re gonna stay, Haze?” Michael asked.

“Looks that way. Maybe you can help me decorate Colby’s room,” Harry grinned.

“You’re bringing your son here?” Michael asked excitedly. “I’ll have someone to play with?”

“Give it a year or two, Michael. He’s just a baby,” Doreen laughed. “Come, Michael. We’ll leave Haze alone for now.”

“Can I come back tomorrow?” Michael asked.

“Yeah. I’ll need to pick up my things from the bar first though.”

“Use the truck if you want,” Doreen offered.

“If you come with me,” Harry smiled. “I could use your help with some of Chey’s things.”

Doreen nodded, and pulled Michael off Harry, who had been hugging him, then left him to his thoughts.

Harry knelt on the floor in front of the fireplace, took a couple of deep breaths, and threw a handful of blue powder. “Number 12 Grimmauld Place in London.”

tbc