Meant to Be

Hope people are enjoying this. Remus is a weak, weak wolf in this chapter! Reviews would be lovely!







Chapter Five



Jess avoided him for the next week, running out of class quickly at the end of each lesson. Remus didn’t want to make a big deal of asking her to stay behind, not wanting to draw attention to how desperate he was to talk to her; to apologise to her for his thoughtless remark. She was incredibly polite when he called on her or saw her in the halls, not giving him any reason to give her a fake detention. It wasn’t until he found a Boggart in his desk that he threw caution to the wind to talk to her - concerned by her reaction if he just sprung it on her.



He was waiting in the door way greeting the students as they walked in for his last class of the day. He pulled her aside, holding her homework in his hand as a decoy.

‘We’re going to be working on Boggart’s today,’ he said quietly, seeing her startled face. ‘Oh,’ she whispered, her face paling a little. ‘Um, alright. Thanks for warning me.’

She stepped away and he took her arm, pulling her gently back, not seeing Karen watching him as she walked into the classroom, waiting beside the door for Jess.



‘I’m really sorry about the other night, Jess,’ he whispered, needing her to know he hadn‘t meant it - even risking the other students overhearing in his desperation. ‘I didn’t mean it to come out like that. I don’t regret anything that has happened between us either.’

Jess felt her breathing pick up as he gazed at her intensely, then turned to see the some of the other students coming up the hall and said, ‘This isn’t really the time or place, is it?’ He blinked a couple of times then nodded, frowning.

‘Are you going to be alright to do this?’ he asked, his face concerned. ‘The Boggart…I don’t mind if you go off sick.’

Jess gritted her jaw and tugged her arm out of his grasp. ‘I’ll be fine,’ she said and walked into the classroom, Karen following her with a curious look at Remus.



‘What’s going on?’ she asked Jess as they sat down.

‘Sorry?’ she said, distractedly.

‘You and Professor Lupin,’ Karen said softly and Jess’ head spun around.

‘What?’ she said, forcing a laugh out.

‘You both looked a bit intense just then,’ she said, looking over at Remus. ‘What were you talking about?’

Jess stared at her, thinking fast. ‘My homework,’ she lied swiftly. ‘He said I didn’t get an Outstanding and I asked him to look at it again. He didn’t want to so I got a little…mouthy and he told me off. Well, as much as Lupin tells you off.’

Karen looked mollified and turned to her textbook, not seeing the relieved look on Jess’ face.



‘Right everyone. Books away and wands out,’ Remus said as the last student sat down. ‘Follow me please.’

He walked up the stairs to his private rooms and, with a surprised murmur running through the group, the students followed. They stopped in front of his desk and looked at him.

‘A Boggart moved into my drawer yesterday,’ he said, pointing his wand at the now shaking desk. ‘They’re running rampant over the castle these days. My third years just got rid of one from the staff room the other day. I want you all to have a go at the spell - Riddikulus. Do you all remember this from your Third or Fourth year?’

He saw them nod. ‘Right, well you’ll probably have to do this on your NEWT exam so let’s be serious about this.’

He glanced over at Jess quickly then called out, ‘One line please.’



They scrambled to get in line, Jess moving towards the end. She watched as the other students fears appeared: snakes, spiders, dementors, hags, severed limbs; the usual assortment of irrational fears. As her turn drew near, she wished she’d taken Remus up on his offer to let her go off class sick - she certainly felt sick now. She saw him watching her as she got closer to the front of the line. It was her turn next and as she stepped up, she saw him nod and smile.

‘Wand up, Jess,’ he said quietly. ‘Remember the spell.’



She moved closer and the Boggart swirled, changing into a tall, black haired man who looked angry. Jess closed her eyes, trying to think of how to make him funny and tried the spell. It didn’t work, and her Boggart father was starting to raise his hand, looking at her with loathing on his face. She took an involuntary step back, and when Remus saw the fear in her eyes, he stepped forward. The shape shifter twisted again, changing into a full moon before Remus pointed his wand at it and it changed into a balloon, then with another swish of his wand, sent it back into his drawer.



The students clapped and Remus smiled quickly at them. ‘Right,’ he said hastily, looking at his watch. ‘Homework. Write me an essay explaining what a Boggart is, the theory behind the spell and why it takes strength of mind to get rid of them. Alright, take an early mark. Have a good evening.’

He looked at Jess and she nodded, knowing he wanted her to stay behind. She stayed in the room as the others moved down the stairs, sinking down onto a chair as her shaking legs gave way. Remus noticed some of the students giving her curious glances - it had been an unusual image for a Boggart, and her inability to defeat it had surprised them. He shooed them out of the room but once downstairs in the classroom, Karen stopped him.



‘Where’s Jess?’ she asked and he looked at her, startled by her blunt tone.

‘I’ve asked her to stay behind to talk about what happened up there just then,’ he replied, seeing her suspicious look. ‘Karen, she’s having problems with some of the spells as you probably saw just now. Jess and I have already discussed the possibility of me giving her some extra tutoring to try and get her through exams. She’s been resisting it, but I think now she might change her mind.’

‘Why couldn’t she get rid of the Boggart?’ Karen asked, a frown on her face. ‘Who was that man? Why was she so frightened of him?’









Remus frowned as well and shook his head. ‘That isn’t my story to tell, Karen,’ he said quietly. ‘It’s up to Jess if she wants to answer those questions. If she doesn’t want to talk about it though, please respect that.’

Karen stared at him, a shrewd look on her face. ‘But you know?’ she said. ‘She told you?’ ‘I’m her teacher, Karen,’ he said firmly. ‘I’m aware of Jess’ previous marks in this subject and we have discussed the reasons for them. I’m trying to help her pass her Defence NEWT.’

Karen nodded, looking concerned now as she said, ‘So, you’re going to tutor her?’



He nodded. ‘I’m hoping she’ll realise she needs some extra help now and put her pride aside. It’d be helpful if you could give her some support as well. You know, help her practice the spells she’s having trouble with. I’m giving extra tutorials to a few students, and I can’t spend the time with her that she needs.’

Karen looked a bit surprised but nodded. ‘Of course I will,’ she said. ‘Should I wait for her?’

‘No,’ Remus said. ‘I think she’s a bit upset. I’ll give her a drink and sort her out. Thank you, Karen. She’s lucky to have a good friend to look out for her.’ He patted her shoulder and she left the room.



Remus sighed then walked up the stairs, seeing Jess sitting with her head in her hands. ‘Jess,’ he said, shutting the door behind him. He moved quickly and crouched in front of her.

‘You still offering that tutoring?’ she asked, her voice muffled.

He took her hands in his, pulling them away from her face. She lifted her head and he saw the frustration in her face.



‘You’re letting him control you,’ he said softly, holding her hands in his. ‘He turned you into someone you didn’t like when he was alive, but you‘ve changed; you got your life together, and you’ve done a great job, Jess. You’re a wonderful woman, and you’re strong. But you still fear him. Even in death, he frightens you. So he’s still got control. He’s still winning’



Jess frowned, staring at him. She hadn’t thought about it that way. ‘He is, isn‘t he?’ she whispered. ‘He’s still has this hold over me. He makes me feel….weak, helpless, small. That’s how I need to see him, isn’t it? As powerless as he made me feel?.’

He nodded and squeezed her hands, pulling her to her feet. ‘That’s exactly what you need to do,’ he said. ‘Come on. Let’s try again.’ She looked reluctant and he put his hands to her face.

‘I’ll be here with you, Jess, and I‘ll protect you,’ he said gently. ‘I won’t let him hurt you anymore.’



She stared at him then nodded. ‘Just give me a few minutes,’ she asked, closing her eyes and trying to imagine exactly how to change the image of her father into something unthreatening.

Eventually, she moved to stand in front of his desk and Remus pointed his wand at the drawer. ‘Ready?’ he asked, seeing her nod.

He let the Boggart out then stood back as Jess stepped forward. It swirled and once again, her father appeared. She stepped back again, raising her wand then lowering it as she lost her nerve. Remus stepped forward, the Boggart changing into a full moon.

‘Jess,‘ Remus said encouragingly. ‘I know you can do it. He’s a coward, honey. You’re not.’

Jess looked at him and felt stronger seeing the confidence he had in her. He stepped back again when he saw her nod, and the Boggart turned back into that angry middle aged man.



Turning back to the Boggart, she stared at her father, really looking at him this time. He wasn’t as tall as she remembered and didn’t look as frightening. She could see Remus behind him, watching intently and suddenly knew that he’d never let this man hurt her again.

She raised her wand and smiled as she cast the spell. The Boggart changed and all of a sudden she saw a baby sitting on the floor in front of her. She looked at Remus who was grinning. He pointed his wand at it and sent it back into the drawer, slamming it shut.

‘Perfect,’ he said, moving over to her and hugging her tight. ‘Didn’t I say you could do it?’

Jess hugged him back then pulled out of his embrace, stepping back. ‘Thank you,’ she said, her voice a little formal as she kept some distance between them. ‘I think I do need that tutoring though.’



Remus frowned when she pulled away, but understood why she had. He gave her a smile and nodded.

‘How about Wednesday and Saturday nights?’ he said. ‘We can talk about the spells you’re having trouble with and try and give you some time to practice and get it right.’ Jess nodded and smiled. ‘Well, as long as you don’t mind me cancelling Saturday’s if I’ve got a hot date with one of the barely of age boys around here,‘ she teased. ‘Thank you, Remus…Professor Lupin.’ She turned to leave.

‘Jess,’ he said, not wanting her to go, but when she turned back he couldn’t think of a legitimate reason to ask her to stay.



‘Nothing. It’s fine,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘See you Saturday.’

When she left, he sank down onto the chair next to him and put his face in his hands, rubbing at his eyes.

‘God,’ he breathed. The more he saw her, the more he wanted her. And the more time he spent with her, the harder it was not to act on that need.

‘This is a very bad idea,’ he mumbled.



He stood up and grabbed a bottle of Firewhiskey, pouring himself a liquid dinner. He had been shaken by the thought of Jess on a date and the unbidden images of some other man putting his hands on her made him as jealous as hell. Pacing now, he drank and argued with himself about her.

‘She’s a student,’ his common sense told him, but just as quickly, another voice said, ‘She’s twenty. She’s an adult and able to make adult choices.’

‘Not while she’s here; not while you’re her teacher,’ the first voice retorted.



He sighed. Maybe he should talk to Dumbledore; tell him about what happened and talk to him about the possibility of pursuing a relationship with Jess. But almost before the thought materialised, he disregarded it. He knew damn well what Albus would say if he told him.

‘Keep your hands off the students, no matter how old they are,’ he mumbled, then took another drink of Firewhiskey.

‘This is just great,’ he thought irritably. ‘I finally meet a woman I like and who likes me, and we are fantastic together, and I can’t touch her.’



Their first few weeks of tutorials went well, Jess growing more confident and, once she began to overcome her fears, cast strong spells. She and Remus grew closer, spending some hours after they finished with their tutoring talking and gently flirting. As the lessons went on, the unresolved tension between the two of them was growing, and after every tutoring session, Remus told himself to make it their last. But he couldn’t….wouldn’t. He enjoyed her company and the fact he was going to bed frustrated and ridiculously aroused after each lesson just made him resent not being able to spend more time with the woman he was beginning to really care for. Jess was finding it difficult as well, recognising that she was beginning to develop deeper feelings for him, not to mention the fact her entire body ached after being in the same room as him.



Their last lesson for the term came the night before Christmas holidays. Both Jess and Remus had mixed feelings about the upcoming holidays. They were relieved in a way that they could have some space from each other, hoping the frustration would ease if they put some distance between them. But they were also not wanting to be apart - two weeks without a legitimate reason to spend time together sounded like forever.



‘We might give a Patronus a try tonight,’ Remus said, seeing Jess frown. ‘You can do it, Jess. You didn’t think you could beat the Boggart but you smashed it.’

Jess couldn’t help her smile, but said, ‘The Boggart was different. I didn’t have to try and think of a happy memory. Remus, I…I don’t have many happy memories - none that I can recall.’

Remus sat next to her on the arm of the chair. ‘Nothing?’ he asked, with a frown. ‘What about really early memories?’

But she shook her head. ‘Look,’ she said, standing. ‘I’ll give it a try. Just give me a minute to try and think of something.’



Remus nodded and walked across the room, pouring two glasses of mead then handing one to her. She smiled her thanks, staring down into the glass, her brow creasing as she searched her mind for a time when she was happy.

‘Alright,’ she said a minute later. ‘I’ll give it a try.’ She put her glass down and held up her wand.

‘Expecto Patronum!’ she said firmly. Nothing happened and she frowned.

‘Try again,’ he said. ‘Sometimes it takes a few tries.’

Jess nodded and took a breath, casting the spell again. A little silver puff came out the end of the wand on the third try. Jess let out of growl of frustration and threw herself back onto the chair, grabbing the drink and taking a large gulp.



‘That’s not too bad,’ Remus said, crouching in front of her.

She glared at him and said, ‘It was pathetic, Remus.’

He smiled and shifted to sit on the other armchair. ‘No, it was a good first attempt,’ he argued and she shook her head.

‘What memory did you use?’ he asked, and she sighed.

‘Mike and I went on holidays once with my aunt and cousins,’ she said quietly. ‘I was only about four years old, so I can’t remember a lot but it was a good holiday. Guess it wasn’t strong enough though.’



She stared down at the mead. ‘This is good,’ she commented, taking another sip. ‘Better than the stuff Tom had…’

She stopped talking and took another drink, then stared into the glass again for a few moments. ‘Can I try again?’ she asked suddenly.

Remus was surprised but nodded. He watched as she stood up and held out her wand. Closing her eyes, she hesitated a moment then said, ‘Expecto Patronum!’

A large silver cloud shot out of her wand, swirling into an indistinguishable form.



Remus grinned and stood up, surprised that she’d done it.

‘Did I do it?’ she asked, opening her eyes.

Remus laughed and nodded. ‘Yes,’ he said happily. ‘Try again. You almost made a Corporeal Patronus.’

He moved so he was standing across from her with a better view. She stared at him for a moment then tried the spell again. The same silver cloud shot out and they could just make out a large four legged animal before it disappeared. Jess’ smile lit up her face and she laughed.

‘I did it,’ she said, disbelievingly.

‘Yes, you did,’ he agreed and was surprised, but pleased when she hugged him tight. The touch of her body against his made his knees weak, and he put his arms around her quickly, hugging her back.

‘Thank you,’ she said excitedly, then she pulled away abruptly, realising what she‘d done.



Sitting back down, she raised the glass and finished her drink. Remus copied her and they took a moment to reign themselves in a little, trying to ignore how strongly their bodies had reacted to each other.

‘What are your plans for the holidays?’ he asked, pouring himself another drink and offering her one.

She nodded and held out her glass then said, ‘Study, I guess,’ she said with a shrug. ‘I’m staying at the castle so I’ll have plenty of time.’

She took a long drink of the mead and looked over at him. ‘What are you doing?’ she asked. ‘Setting up some hot dates, sir?’

He laughed and the ache that Jess had been feeling all night increased. ‘Yeah,’ he said, raising his eyebrows. ‘I have a transformation on Christmas Eve: the women are lining up.’ He smiled then sighed. ‘The potion makes it bearable but it’s still so disruptive.’



Jess nodded and smiled sympathetically at him. He watched her sip her drink and asked, ‘What were you thinking of when you cast the Patronus?’

Jess seemed to choke a little on her drink and lowered it in a fit of coughing.

‘You alright?’ Remus asked in concern and she nodded, the coughing easing.

‘It’s getting late. I should go,’ she said, putting the glass down and standing up. ‘Thank you for your help, Remus. Have a nice holiday.’

Remus jumped up and held the door to stop her opening it. ‘What memory did you use to cast the spell?’ he asked again, curious now as to why she was avoiding the question and why she was slowly turning pink.



‘Does it matter?‘ she asked then saw him nod. Jess sighed loudly and closed her eyes. ‘The night we spent together,’ she said, opening her eyes and staring at his chest. ‘Happy now? I’m completely embarrassed.’

Remus bit his lip as his breathing sped up and lust surged through him, making his legs shake.

‘What part of that night?’ he asked, knowing how inappropriate it was but not giving a damn. He wanted to know what she was thinking about; whether it was the same things he‘d been thinking about every day. Her eyes raised to his and he saw how dark they were now.

‘The first time I tried I was thinking about tying you up,’ she said softly, smiling a little. ’I’d never done that before and….it was fun.’ Her face turned serious though as she looked up at him.

‘The second time I was thinking about waking up with you next to me. It was really nice - to not wake up alone for a change.’



Remus stared at her for another moment then abruptly grabbed her face between his hands and kissed her hard. Jess didn’t waste any time objecting - she wanted this as much as he did. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he pushed her against the door.

‘I can’t do this anymore, Jess’ he whispered desperately as his fingers fumbled with his fly. ‘I can’t stay away from you.’

Jess moaned in agreement and helped push his pants down. Remus lifted her off her feet, and she wrapped her legs around his hips as he reached under her skirt and jerked hard on her underwear, ripping it off.

‘I don’t want to stay away from you. You do crazy things to me, Jess,’ he mumbled into her neck as he pushed against her, sliding into her body.



She cried out as the sensation of him filling her nearly undid her immediately.

‘God, I‘ve wanted you so much,’ she said then moaned as he thrust into her, pushing her hard against the door.

Remus groaned, knowing he didn’t have too long until it was over. He’d been wanting this too much as well.

Less than a minute later, he was kissing Jess hard, swallowing her cries of pleasure as her release hit her forcefully. Her body clenched at his and he found his own end, pushing up deep into her as he let go and moaned her name loudly.



They shook as they stood there for a minute until Remus’ legs couldn’t hold them anymore.

‘Hang on to me,’ he mumbled and felt her legs tighten around him. He staggered until he reached his bed then fell backwards onto it, holding Jess tightly to him. Fumbling for his wand, he cast spells over them then flicked it at the door, casting Silencing spells and locking it.

‘We really are very good at this,’ she murmured, resting her head on his chest, hearing and feeling his laugh.

‘If we weren’t, we might not have our current problem,’ he said quietly. Jess raised her head and looked at him.

‘Did you mean what you said?’ she asked with a frown. ‘You don’t want to stay away from each other anymore?’



Remus reached up and ran a hand over her head. ‘I never did,’ he admitted. ‘It seems like we are just getting pushed together so much. It’s got to be fate or something.’

‘It was kind of working,’ she said, giving him a way out if he wanted to. ‘We could just stop the extra tutoring…’

Remus kissed her to stop the sensible words that he didn’t want to hear. It was too late to go back now.

‘It was working in the sense that I had to masturbate every frigging night,’ he mumbled against her lips. Jess grinned and said, ‘You too?’

He moaned a little at the thought of her touching herself and he rolled them over, kissing her.



‘Seeing you every day and not being able to touch you was driving me mad, Jess,’ he said, running his hand down to grasp the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head, then quickly ridding himself of his own.

‘How do we do this then?’ she asked, arching up to allow him to reach around and unclip her bra.

‘Well, I thought I might start here,’ he teased, kissing her lips. ‘Then I’ll work my way down like so…’

His mouth moved down her throat, hearing her laugh. He pulled her bra completely off then his lips shifted to her nipple, circling it with his tongue and hurriedly kicking his pants off.

‘Remus,’ she said, moaning a little as he transferred his attention to the other breast. ‘You know what I meant…Oh!’



He bit her nipple lightly and she cried out. Smiling, he pulled her skirt down over her hips and off.

‘And then,’ he continued, ignoring her words as he kissed her stomach, running his tongue over her skin. ‘I was planning on an oral presentation.’

Remus heard her giggle then gasp as he found what he wanted. ‘God!’ she said loudly, her hips lifting off the bed.

He groaned against her and heard her swear. His tongue drove her to the edge then kept stroking her as she fell over. The taste and scent of her had him as hard as a rock again, and while she was still shaking, he shifted, entering her swiftly.



Hearing her gasp of surprise, he grinned and kissed her, withdrawing then pressing himself slowly into her again.

Jess grinned against his lips. ‘Bet you can’t keep that pace up for too long,’ she said with a little giggle.

‘Longer than you can,’ he muttered, kissing her again.

‘I’ll take that dare,’ she said, and he smiled, pulling out of her then slowly, torturously pushed himself back inside her, as deep as he could get.

He smiled when she groaned but gasped himself as he felt her inner muscles contracting around him, then releasing him. He groaned when she did it again, feeling like he might just explode right then.



‘Where the hell did you learn to do that?’ he said breathlessly.

‘Do what?’ she asked innocently.

He let out a breath of laughter and slowly moved inside her, her body tightening impossibly around him. ‘Jesus,’ he moaned.

‘Give up?’ she asked, but he shook his head, continuing to move as she continued to tighten herself around him.

Her breathing was getting ragged now and Remus could feel himself moving swiftly towards the end of his control. But this felt so good, neither wanted to stop. When Remus pushed her legs against her chest and moved slowly, pressing hard as he went deep into her, it was too much.



Jess felt a very different release creep up on her. It flowed through her as her body tensed and shuddered uncontrollably. She pressed herself harder against him and whispered, ‘Oh my god,’ unable to believe how wonderful this felt.

It was intense and powerful and as Remus felt her pulsing around him, he couldn’t hold back his own climax. A low moan escaped him and he rocked gently against her as he also felt a flood of pleasure rather than the usual explosion, spreading to every part of his body. It was the most incredible thing he’d ever felt, shaking him violently as he fought to be deeper inside her, resisting the urge to thrust harder and faster.

As their shaking decreased, he whispered, ‘Who won that time?’

Jess grinned and said, ‘I think we both did.’