This is the Way I Fall

Author's note--And we keep on keepin' on! Quick reminder of the background from "Pray":
I decided that the "background" for this fic would more or less ignore DH, and it would be the "Draco-goes-to-Grimmauld-and-he-and-Harry-fall-in-love" backstory.

Even though, since then, I've tried to make it more DH-compliant where possible, so Harry/Ron/Hermione were still 'out' on missions looking for Horcruxes but would come back to Grimmauld in between, and Draco ended up there at one point after Snape got him out of Voldemort's grasp (after the whole 'crucifixion' breakdown from "Dance"...) and that's how Draco and Harry called a truce, stopped fighting, and fell in love...

And then when they emerged with Harry victorious, no one liked them together, so they left England. If anyone has any questions about how it worked out, I'll be more than happy to answer them, but hopefully I've anticipated (and answered) any questions before y'all ask. LOL This chapter is more happy; same with the next. Enjoy!

This is the Way I Fall by Graballz

Chapter 5

I Choose You

The Gryffindor directed his boyfriend towards the bed, which had somehow remained unscathed, and carefully sat Draco on the edge. He seemed to have no strength left, and he sagged forward until his forehead rested on his knees, still crying. Harry, by now, had tears running down his cheeks as he pulled Draco’s torso up and knelt in between his lover’s knees. Draco slumped forward again and rested his head on Harry’s shoulder; Harry put his arms around Draco’s back, his salty tears running down into Draco’s hair as Harry leaned on his cheek.

“It’s okay, baby,” Harry murmured. “I’m here.” Draco slid off of the bed to kneel in front of Harry, face still buried as he wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck. Harry renewed his embrace, a wave of comfort washing over him at feeling his lover pressed against him.

“No matter what I do,” Draco began, pulling back enough that Harry could hear him, sniffling. “It doesn’t matter what THEY do, or what I do or don’t do…you’ll always choose them over me, won’t you?”

“What?!” Harry was baffled.

“Weasley,” Draco clarified. “It wasn’t you versus me, Harry. It was always me versus the Weasel, over you. I wanted your attention and your friendship so badly, and after the fiasco on the train, I couldn’t tell you. It always hurt; every time you glared at me with him by your side. Every time you walked away from me, it was always with or to him. He was your best mate, and I couldn’t stand it. I also couldn’t change it.”

“Draco, I haven’t talked to him since we left England, and that was nearly a year ago,” Harry said. “How can that be ‘choosing him over you’?”

“You miss him,” Draco said in a small voice. “And Granger. No matter how close you and I get, you will always want them. But when you were friends with them, you never missed me.”

“Oh, I didn’t, did I?” Harry took Draco by his arms and pushed him back so that he could look the blonde in the face. He gave Draco a small shake. “I’m really surprised that I’ve done or felt all of these things that you say I did, but I don’t remember them. You would think that all of this was just in your head…why don’t you try ASKING me about how I felt or what I did, instead of just assuming that you know?

“I was obsessed with you in sixth year, and it drove Ron and Hermione crazy to the point where I couldn’t talk to them about you. I didn’t admit it to ANYONE, but I was more scared than I’d ever been in my entire life when I was kneeling over you in that bathroom, sure I had killed you. Draco, I can’t tell you how terrified I was that you would never have opened your eyes again or told me off or been the only one who wasn’t impressed or fooled by the ‘Boy Who Lived’ crap.

“I’m so sorry about what happened to you that summer,” Harry hated to bring it up, but it was important. “I’m glad Snape was able to get you out of there and into Grimmauld. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there at first, and that when I was there, I’m sorry that I was trying to avoid you. You’re wrong, though. I did miss you. You were right there, but you were so different. Quiet, withdrawn, silent; I missed your fire and passion. Even when you were provoking me, I preferred that to the sullen, depressed person at Grimmauld. Of course I wouldn’t have admitted that to you! And when Ron and I had a fight and he left, I missed him too.

“But don’t ever say that I didn’t miss you, love,” Harry finished softly. “Because you can’t know how much I miss you when you’re not there. You’ll never be able to see it because then you’d BE there and I wouldn’t have to miss you. Take my word for it, though, Draco; I will do anything and everything to prove to you that you are my number one. I love you more than anything. Ron’s great, but he was ever only my best mate. YOU are my best mate, my best friend, AND my lover. No one has power over me like you do, babe, and no one ever has. It’s always been you, Draco, and only you.”

“Not even Ginny?” Draco hated himself for asking, but he needed to know.

“Not even Ginny,” Harry confirmed. “I thought I liked her, but she was always my best mate’s little sister. She had a hard time accepting that, though.”

“I remember,” Draco murmured. He had gotten quite good at Protego while Ginny Weasley still had hold of her wand, and even then she had hit him with Bat-Bogies more than he liked to admit.

“Of course I miss Ron and Hermione,” Harry said softly. “They were my friends. If we left here, you’d miss our friends, right? Mark and Tim and Scott and Derek and everyone? But none of them are your boyfriend, just like Ron and Hermione could never replace you. I miss them, Draco, and I can’t change that, but I will never stop loving you. They couldn’t accept that, and so here I am. With you. Not them. Because I choose you, Draco Malfoy. I choose you over Ron Weasley.”

Draco whimpered, and Harry pulled him close, tucking Draco’s pale blonde head under his chin. He was surprised to realize that Draco had felt so threatened by Ron all those years and even now, and he hoped that his little speech helped.

Draco closed his eyes, relishing Harry’s arms around him, the Gryffindor’s words replaying in his head. He felt protected and cherished…and needy, co-dependent, and inadequate.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Draco whispered against Harry’s chest. Harry’s response was to squeeze Draco tighter and stroke his hair.

“I’ve never regretted choosing you,” Harry reiterated his wording from a previous heart-to-heart. Draco raised his head and opened his mouth at the exact moment that the phone rang. They both blinked and furrowed their brows, staring at the receiver on the night table as if it were a foreign object.

“Who’s calling?” Draco asked instead of what he had planned to say (which was ‘I love you’).

“How should I know? I sucked at Divination,” Harry replied, getting up to grab the handset. He checked the caller ID and answered. “Hello?”

“Harry, babe! Where are you? Get your cute ass over here and bring that hot blonde bitch with you!” Draco could hear Tina’s voice loud and clear through the phone, thumping music in the background. The fraternity party was tonight, and apparently they were being missed.

“Hey, Tina,” Harry replied, sitting on the edge of the bed. Draco turned around (still on his knees) and propped his elbows on the bed beside Harry, listening. “Are you at the party?”

“What? Harry, I can’t hear you!” Both Harry and Draco chuckled when they heard someone else in the background holler, “That’s because you’re drunk, Tina!”

“Tina…Tina, I don’t think we’re coming. We’re not coming. We’re not coming. We’re not coming. We’re. Not. Coming,” Harry sounded a little more frustrated each time the girl on the other end screamed, “Huh?” Draco held his hand out for the phone, and Harry passed it to him.

“Hey, Tina, it’s the ‘blonde bitch’,” Draco said with forced cheerfulness. “Tina?”

“Draco, is that you?”

“Oh, hey, Marian,” Draco’s eyebrows went up as he looked at Harry. “Where’s Tina?”

“Off in search of the next ‘wet pussy’,” Marian snickered, meaning the shot but Draco rolled his eyes at the innuendo. “When are you lovelies coming out, tiger?”

“Yeah, about that,” Draco began.

“Oh shit! Tina, that’s not yours, you drunk bitch! Sorry, Draco, I tried to take the phone away from her. I can’t even believe she was able to dial your number correctly,” Marian apologized. “She’s SUCH a drunk bitch right now. Anyway, come over to the party! It’s not as much fun without you! Loves all around!”

Draco stared at the handset. Marian was gone. He looked at Harry, who had heard every word of their conversation, and they both burst out laughing.

“I think we just got ‘drunk-dialed’,” Harry said, and Draco nodded.

“Mark was always warning us about that,” he said. “I can’t believe we haven’t been drunk-dialed before.”

“Well, we’re usually THERE,” Harry pointed out. “Although I guess I should say I’m surprised YOU haven’t drunk-dialed other people before.” Draco stuck his tongue out.

“I have much more class than that,” he sniffed, adopting his best haughty accent. Harry snorted and raised his eyebrow. “Well, I do!” Draco insisted.

“We COULD go to the party, if you’re feeling up to it,” Harry offered. “We shouldn’t drink, but we could go laugh at everyone else.”

“Do YOU want to?” Draco asked. He didn’t really mind skipping the party, but if Harry wanted to, he would go. It was certainly preferable to staying home and fighting.

“It sounds as if they want us to go,” Harry said diplomatically. He looked about how Draco felt. “I wouldn’t mind going over for a bit, but I’ll stay home too, if you want.”

“No, let’s go,” Draco said. “Just for a bit.” Harry nodded, and they both got up. Before Harry could walk anywhere, Draco put his arms around the Gryffindor and pulled him into a hug, which Harry returned gratefully. Everything felt like it was righting itself again, and they kissed lightly before parting to get ready to go out.

**********

Author's note--*snicker* Wait, let me go back to the beginning of the chapter and add a bit of explanation in order, so hold the snicker...

Draco's reaction and words make sense, right? I mean, yes, he's reacting to the fact that his mother was raped, and while he's not exactly 'over' it, it's not a new shock anymore. The shock came when Harry opened his big yap without thinking, and Draco's breakdown occurs more because, even in the face of this huge, horrible secret in which HIS family (his mother) is the victim, he STILL thinks Harry is taking the Weasleys' side over his own.

Also, Draco was attributing thoughts and feelings to Harry that he ASSUMED Harry was feeling (like about how Harry would 'always' choose Ron over him or how Harry missed Ron and Hermione but wouldn't miss him, Draco), and Draco's assumptions were wrong, as you can see from when Harry told him that they were just 'all in his head'.

And yes, the 'I've never regretted choosing you' line is a throwback to their convo in the bathroom from "Pray"! Do you remember that? *wink*

The 'that summer' reference was the crucifixion stuff that the movie brought back memories of. Draco was moved to Grimmauld after that (not DH-compliant) hence why he was so withdrawn and quiet. Then DH pretty much happened as normal, but with Draco being at Grimmauld instead of the Manor.

Okay, NOW *snicker* they got drunk-dialed!!! Isn't that AWESOME??? LOL I couldn't resist, and I needed something to break the tension! So what better than a drunk bitch? *smirk*

Alright...did anyone think "Family Guy"??? I think it's from the FG movie when Stewie is in the elevator, and that guy walks in on his cell phone and he's like "Do you want to pick me up?" to his friend and repeats it, like, 500 times until the elevator door opens and Stewie walks out with a blood trail and the guy's twitching body behind him!!!

*falls over laughing* That's what I was picturing when I wrote that scene!!! Also...the whole calling each other a 'bitch' thing is more a term of endearment and affection than an *actual* bitch. I figure you guys picked up on that, but just thought I should mention it...

PS I love wet pussy. The shot. I MEANT THE SHOT, YOU GUTTER-MINDS! lol Yes, in the story, it should be taken as a double-entendre, especially since Tina and Marian are lesbians! For those who don't know (it's fucking great...try it!) a 'wet pussy' is a shot made of Buttershots and Tequila Rose. I think it's also called a 'pink pussy' and I'm sure there are variations of it, but it's wonderful. (My sister refuses to say the name because she gets embarrassed! So she calls it a 'wet kitty' and blushes whenever I say it! LMAO)

And lastly, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of the wonderful reviews!!! I love you guys, and I can't believe that you respond so quickly!!! It's great, and I love it! I really appreciate it!

And to those who haven't reviewed, thanks for reading! I hope you're liking it anyway!

Miss Nikki *wink* You always seem to pick up on the tiniest bread crumb that I drop! And yes, they are in love. *sigh* Sometimes it's a fucked up kind of love, but they are together forever, nonetheless.

And while I know that Arthur raping Narcissa seems rather unbelievable...just remember that rapists and murderers look "normal" too. You know how people are always like "oh I can't believe it" when their next door neighbor who has always been really friendly and polite and nice turns out to be a child molester or something...all I'm saying is that you never can tell...

And that yes, it IS a pretzel, but I promise to untwist it, cover it with cinnamon and brown sugar, and dip it in frosting! LOL No, I promise to resolve it as clearly as possible. Thanks for reviewing, love!

thrnbrooke LOL Thanks! That's exactly what I was trying to say!!! Thanks for backing me up!

QueenBoadicea Hey! Thanks for reviewing EACH chapter!!! WOO! lol Ah yes, thank you for not letting me forget that Draco still owes us a coconut-bra appearance!!!

Roozette *holds hands over mouth to keep from spilling the beans* MRPHMRRRFLFLFLFLLL With regard to the vacation question, you can't go to Brazil and 'hide out'!!! I can't say much more than that (yet...even though I'm dying to!) but I promise that they will have a good time once they get to Brazil and everything will be resolved. Thank you for the compliment!

QueenBoadicea Thanks! I'm glad you liked the hot sex! You make an interesting point with how it will change Harry's views toward the entire Weasley (and Malfoy, for that matter) families.

*sigh* I'm sorry! I was trying to explain what Draco knew in as clear a way as possible! I think Nikki summed it up pretty fairly, but you WILL get more information later, I promise, and hopefully that will help clear everything up. And yes, Harry IS a Gryffindor, but he also wouldn't abandon Draco in his hour of need! (Just like Draco, being Slytherin, finds the courage to face anything if it's for Harry!)

Lilith Thanks for your review! I'm glad that you can identify with Harry's reaction! I had hoped a lot of people would and could, so yay! *wiggles eyebrows* Who says that Molly knows? *cue 'dum Dum DUM'* Maybe she never found out! I know that this 'more' doesn't exactly help you guys figure stuff out, but it's coming, I promise!

paigeey07 LOL YES! Romantic in a sick way! They have a give-and-take 'I'll do anything for you' relationship, and I love that! That's our boys! Thanks for your review!

DarQuing YAY! You reviewed!! LOL Thanks! I appreciate your words about "Pray" and "Dance"...yeah, I still sigh and get all Hufflepuff-ish when I think about that tango! *swoon* And yes, they both are better than "Mini Skirt", THAT is for sure. But you can't say I didn't warn you, because I DID!

Evil plot complication, indeed! *points* Blame the muse! *holds hands up innocently* It wasn't me! It was the muse! It's the plot bunny's fault! haha But hey, it keeps everyone coming back for more, no? (lol Actually, everyone was STILL coming back before the angst, when it was just cutesy fluff, for which I'm grateful!)