100 Ways to Kill a Weasley

Be Careful What You Play With



It was finally over, Voldemort was dead, and Harry lived. Yet, once again, Ron felt as if he was nothing more than Harry’s sidekick. His contribution to the defeat of Voldemort, once again, overlooked. Even Hermione was getting more attention for saving Snape’s life after Nagini bit him. Yes, his Hermione was one smart witch, without him or Harry knowing it she put Snape under a stasis spell and after the Healers arrived, dragged one of them to Shrieking Shack. The Healer portkeyed Snape to St. Mungo’s where he was treated for the bite and poison. It took three months but finally Snape fully recovered from his injury.





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“Really, Ron, this room is an absolute mess. How can you find anything in here?” Hermione said, as she surveyed the shamble that was her fiancés room.



“I can find everything just fine, thank you very much. You’re not my mother you know!”



“I’d wager you haven’t even had your robes cleaned since the last battle,” said Hermione as she picked up one of Ron’s robes thrown into a corner.



“I’ll take care of it, all right,” he said as he grabbed it away from Hermione.



“You best do so, don’t think that I will put up with this once we’re married. You’re right, I’m not your mother, and I won’t be picking up after you!” She said as she stormed out of the room slamming the door behind her.



“Women,” said Ron as he set about to making his room livable again.

As he sorted through his clothes he placed them in three piles, must clean, can wear again, and already clean. Once that was accomplished he went through the pockets of the ‘must clean’ pile before calling Kreacher to fetch them. In one of trousers, he found the fang he didn’t remember where he got it from.



“Mmm, I’ll have to show this to Harry later,” he said as put it in his back pocket and continued to finish his task.





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Severus Snape was a patient man, but it had been months and months since he planted that poisonous fang in Weasley’s pocket. Doesn’t that boy ever check his pockets? he thought to himself. He had plans for the delectable Miss Granger and he was eager to get started.





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“I don’t understand it. He should have known better then to play with that,” said a crying Hermione.



“It was an accident,” said Harry as he held his friend in his arms consoling her. “He was tossing it in the air and the next thing I knew it was stuck in his hand…and…”



The funeral was a somber affair Molly was beside herself having now lost two sons. Arthur seemed to have aged overnight. The big surprise to everyone was seeing Severus Snape walk in the door.



He conveyed his condolences to Molly and Arthur, and then paid his respects to the deceased Ronald Weasley. No one noticed the sly smile on his face as he looked upon the remains as he said in a voice so soft that none could hear him speak, “Don’t worry about your fiancé, Weasley, I’ll take very, very good care of her. If I have my way, she won’t be in mourning for too long.”



“Miss Granger,” said Snape as he stood before the grieving girl, “I am sorry for your loss.”



“Thank you, Professor, but quite frankly, sir, you are the last person I expected to see here.”



“I’m not surprised by that, it is well known I was not too fond of the late Mr Weasley, however, I do consider Molly and Arthur friends after a fashion.”



“Of course, and I’m sure they appreciate you being here, as do I.”





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Several Months Later…



Hermione entered The Leaky Cauldron on her way to Diagon Alley when she spotted a familiar face at one of the tables. “Professor Snape,” she said as she approached the table, “How have you been?”



Severus looked up at the sound of her voice, “Miss Granger, I’ve been fine and yourself?”



“I’m…doing better than the last time we met.”



“Where are my manners? Please, won’t you join me,” he said as he stood up, pulled a chair out, and helped Hermione to sit.



Hermione was a bit stunned she didn’t expect Snape to invite her to join him. “Yes, thank you,” she said when once again he surprised her as he held out a chair for her.



“Would you care for a drink or perhaps join me for an early lunch?”



“I don’t mean to sound rude, Professor…”



“Severus. Please call me, Severus.”



Hermione wasn’t sure she could take any more surprises today without having to check herself into St. Mungo’s. “I don’t mean to sound rude, errr Severus, but why are you being so nice to me?”



“Do I need a reason, Miss Granger?”



“Hermione. It’s only fair since asked that I use your given name. And yes, you’re a Slytherin; you do nothing without a reason, especially when it involves a Gryffindor. So, Severus, what’s in it for you?”



“Permit me to buy you a drink and I’ll answer your question.”

Hermione thought for a moment before she answered, “Okay, just tea for me, please. I don’t drink this early in the day.”



After the tea was served, he turned to Hermione, “Now, the answer to your question is quite simple...”





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Three Months Later



The rays of the morning sun fell on his face awakening him from a very pleasant dream. He opened his eyes as he turned away from the light shining into the room to see his lovers sleeping form. His plans played out just as he expected and he hoped that soon she would agree be his wife. Severus placed his arm around her sleeping body and kissed her shoulder.



She stirred and turned to face him, “Mmmm, good morning.”



“Good morning, love. Sleep well?”



“Like a baby,” she said with a smile as she moved closer to him.



Yes, he thought, My plans worked well indeed. It’s a good thing Weasley never learned to be careful with what he played with.



A/N: I know it's not my best work, but I had fun writing it!