Cruel and Unusual Punishment

A/N: Soon enough update for you? *Muah* You guys are so sweet with all your nice reviews, they just put me in the mood to write and write and write! So here’s the next chapter, I hope it’s not too cliché, but well, instead of giving it all away I’ll let you get to reading and you can be the judge of that : )

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Hermione sighed deeply at her reflection in the large bathroom mirror, but her anxiety was not what stared back at her. In fact, her mirror-self was positively beaming, thanks in part to the now empty bottle of Sleekeazy’s Hair Potion. She hadn’t gone to the library, instead she had primped and powdered herself to her heart’s desire, and for a date she shouldn’t even want to be a part of! And this was what she had to show for it. This—this stranger smiling and nodding her head in encouragement as Hermione slowly combed her fingers through her gleaming brunette locks.

She shot her reflection a death-glare, who in turn rolled its eyes before shaking away the false image and resuming its rightful place as an inanimate object. To Hermione’s great surprise and absolute horror, the only thing that changed was her expression: from giddy, to glaring, to astonishment, but everything else was the same.

Her eyes were still shadowed with thick black lashes, her cheeks still accentuated with a light blush, and her hair... her trademark bush of frizz… was now nothing short of perfection. Perfectly frizz free ringlets framed her face and cascaded halfway down her back. Light reflected in each and every strand, sending off a shimmer of gold whenever she moved her head to the side. She twirled a solitary curl around her finger and was completely caught off guard at the softness.

She sighed again at her reflection, only this time it sighed back at her. The truth finally sunk in. She, Hermione bookworm Granger, looked pretty. Maybe even pretty by Malfoy standards. Pretty hair that no longer hid her pretty eyes, and she found that she actually liked her appearance for the first time in her life. A single thought pushed itself to the forefront of her mind…

I wonder what Malfoy will think…

She shook her head and closed her eyes, blocking out the image of the pretty girl in the mirror. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t look like she tried to look nice for him.

She shot her reflection one last longing glance before turning to the tap on the bathtub. Kneeling over the edge of the basin, she stuck her head under the running water and rinsed the pretty hair down the drain.

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Ten minutes later and she was walking down the spiral stairs into the shared common room where she knew Malfoy would be waiting for her. She had taken her hair to the opposite extreme of the well-tamed mane. She didn’t even bother drying it off, she just shook it upside-down and towel dried it as best she could.

“Hello there Granger, don’t you look umm… nice,” he said, standing up from the couch and trying in vain to bite back the sarcasm.

“No I don’t,” she replied bluntly.

“True… you look like a right drowned beaver. What exactly have you been doing in our bathroom for over an hour?”

Incensed and trying to hide her embarrassment that he knew how long she had been in the bathroom (not having anything to show for it she didn’t want to know what he was thinking… Farting, and pooping, and periods, oh my!), she stalked past him and moodily threw herself to sit on the couch. She was about to put her feet up on the coffee table, but it was covered in little glasses full of amber liquid.

“What is this?” she asked, gesturing to the array of glasses.

“20 Shots, Granger.” Malfoy shrugged, his lips curving into a smirk. “For our date.”

“You’re trying to get me drunk!? What will we do next time, drugs? Prostitutes?” she shrieked. “Naked runs through the Great Hall!?”

“Relax, it’s just a game, though I wouldn’t object to you running naked through my mashed potatoes,” he said, wagging his eyebrows. “I thought it would be a good way to get to know one another.”

“We can’t drink! We’re Head Boy and Girl and we are supposed to set an example for everyone else!”

“I think McGonagall and Dumbledore can handle that for one night so their very of age and responsible students can take a break. You said I could pick what we do, and this is what I want to do. You may not even get drunk you know… if you’re good at this… But I have to warn you, I am the reigning champ over in Slytherin.”

He knew this would get her. Hermione Granger didn’t like to be second best at anything, even—he hoped—silly drinking games. He smirked and took a seat beside her while she dealt with her inner goody-two-shoes, and waited patiently for her to concede.

“Now, I’m not saying I’m agreeing to play this game… this ’20 Shots’ or whatever you’re calling it. I just think that it wouldn’t hurt to hear the rules is all. So… how do we play?”

Trying not to look too pleased with himself, he started explaining the rules of the game. “Well we start off with 20 shots of alcohol, and the game ends when they’re gone. We take turns asking each other questions, and the questionee either has to answer the question, remove an article of clothing, or take a shot. The loser is the one who takes the last drink.”

Hermione pursed her lips and sucked her cheek, contemplating these rules. Only one thing stuck in her mind. “What is the point of this game?”

“What do you mean? Either you get drunk or you get to watch the loser get drunk. It’s just fun, Granger. Fun doesn’t have to have a point.”

She continued to mull over the information. “Well what makes someone ‘good’ at it?”

He smirked widely at this.

“You have to ask the right questions, the ones that you know won’t get answered.”

“And what if you just lie?”

“You get a pimple,” he replied casually. “So what do you say? You think you’re woman enough to take down the champ?”

“What do I get if I win?” she asked, trying to hide the smile that was threatening to make itself known. She was kind of excited at the prospect of getting the dirt on Malfoy, but she still didn’t want him to know that.

“Not likely Granger… But I suppose in the extremely improbable chance that you do somehow manage to beat me, I’ll let you pick what we do on the next date. So are you in?”

“If I go through with this you can’t just go spouting all you hear to your friends! That just wouldn’t be right and—”

“R-E-L-A-X! Nothing we say can go beyond the game, it’s in the spell.”

“What spell?”

He sighed and buried his head in his hands. Maybe she would win this, he was already sick of her questioning. “Are we going to play or not?” he asked with an impatient sigh.

She took a fleeting look around the room, somehow expecting Dumbledore to come bustling through the door to expel her, but the eccentric old man was nowhere in sight. Even the portraits on the wall had found better things to do, and were just ornate frames with blank canvases. Really, what was one night of fun?

She slumped back into the couch and let out a feeble “yes” of approval.

“Finally! My God I almost had to take a shot just to survive the contemplation period!” he said in a huff. At the look of death she shot him, he hurried to change the subject. “But that is beside the point, now just repeat after me: I will, I will play the game, ‘til I’m naked, zitty, and don’t know my name.”

Rolling her eyes, she said the chant and waited for him to start.

“So are you a virgin, Granger?” he asked, getting right down to business.

“WHAT!? You can’t just ask me that! That’s personal!” she shrieked.

“That, my friend, is the point of the game. Now you already agreed to play, so I suggest you do so unless you want to look like Eloise Midgen.”

“Fine!” she snapped. She then lifted her leg, pulled off one of her black ballet flats and chucked it across the room. He was going to get it for that one. “Why do you hate Harry?”

Malfoy’s smirk turned into a silent gasp. She was good, he would give her that, but he wasn’t the champ for nothing. “I see you’re playing dirty,” he said, raising a single eyebrow in approval. He then took off one of his own shoes and threw it to lie beside hers.

“Have you ever had a fantasy about me?”

“Yes.” He had a fraction of a second to get excited before she continued. “You were falling off your broom into a tub of blast-ended skrewts.”

He searched her face, but her skin remained blemish free.

“Damn… I didn’t see that one coming,” he mumbled to himself. She laughed out loud.

“Aww did I hurt that big ego of yours?”

“No!”

The look on his face said otherwise, but she didn’t delve into it. “Have you ever had a sexual thought about a professor?” she asked him.

“Yes.”

She gasped audibly. “Who!?”

“One question at a time, woman! Now, who do you prefer, Pothead or Weasel-poo?”

She took off her other shoe and it joined its partner. So far, the many glasses of what she suspected to be fire whiskey lay untouched. “What teacher did you fantasize about, and what did it entail?”

“Why you little pervert, I never knew you had it in you,” he stated incredulously, dodging the elbow she aimed his way. “If you must know it was Trelawny and I pounded her from behind while she moaned about my Inner Eye and Crystal Balls.”

Having never liked the Divination professor much, Hermione cracked up laughing and Draco followed suit. It took Draco a whole five minutes before he could catch his breath and resume the game.

Forty minutes later and things were really starting to get interesting. Half the shots were gone, as well as their socks, shoes, watches, and belts. To Hermione’s utmost horror, she found she was actually enjoying herself. The alcohol had made her feel warm and giddy, and some of the answers Draco was giving weren’t helping the situation.

“What is the hottest lingerie you own?” Draco asked her. She could still feel the burn of the last shot still lingering in her throat, and she was out of mundane articles of clothing to remove. She stared at her lap and gritted her teeth. “A red thong…” she mumbled under her breath.

“What was that?”

“A red thong! A lacey red thong! Happy now!?”

Draco’s chin hit the floor.

“Happy isn’t exactly the right word. Shocked as all hell would be more like it.”

“Just because I like to read doesn’t mean I’m not a girl you know.”

“Dually noted,” he replied, impressed and more than a little turned on.

“Umm… when did you lose your virginity?” she asked him timidly. Once the words were out she quickly covered her mouth with her hands, her eyes bugging wide. She couldn’t believe she just asked that! More importantly, she couldn’t believe that she wanted to know! Eek! Alcohol was definitely bringing out a different side of her tonight.

“Hmm…” he said, pondering the question. “Fifth year, Tracey Davis… Have you ever had sex?”

“You already asked that!”

“Nope, I asked if you were a virgin, there is no rule against rewording the questions.”

“Fine,” she pouted, downing another shot of the amber liquid and grimacing as it burned its way down her esophagus. “Were you any good your first time?”

She had got him. Good. If he told her the truth she would laugh in his face, but if he took a drink she would get the answer anyhow. If he lied he would get a zit and she would know that he lied. He was cornered, and there was only one thing to do. He swallowed his pride and grunted a low, “No.” When she didn’t laugh at him he looked up at her, only to find her staring thoughtfully at him. “What? This is your chance to gloat Granger, I suggest you take advantage as it will be probably be your last.”

She seemed to snap out of her thoughts and laughed, but Draco couldn’t help but to notice that it sounded forced. This made up his mind about his next question to ask her.

“Why didn’t you laugh at me just now?”

She blushed scarlet and sunk further into the couch, only fueling Draco’s curiosity. Unfortunately however, she reached out and took another shot instead of answering.

Damn it! I’ll get this one out of her yet…

“How bad were you?” she asked with a sly grin.

“You aren’t going to give up on this are you, you sick, cruel, MEAN woman!?”

She quickly shook her head no, her face hot and her evil smirk fixed.

“Fine,” he mumbled. Then, deciding he might as well do the thing right, he elaborated. “It was horrible, worst experience of my life. By the time I found the right hole it was all over.”

This time Hermione really did laugh, long and hard.

“It’s not that funny, Granger,” he gritted out.

She tried to stop laughing and bent her head so he couldn’t see her face, snorting at random intervals until he gave in and laughed along with her.

“Now it’s your turn, and I think it’s only fair that you answer this time. Why did you internally sympathize with me when I admitted to being bad the first time?”

Hermione sucked in her lower lip and twiddled her thumbs in her lap. To tell or not to tell… that was the question…

“Ok I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to laugh!”

“Pshh,” he breathed out. She pinched his shoulder rather roughly, getting an immediate reaction from him. “Enough with the pinching! I need that skin!” he wailed, swatting away the offending fingers. “I won’t laugh! Keep your knick—I mean your sexy red thong on, and start spilling with the goods.”

She snorted in laughter at this for some reason, though she knew she should be mad at the sexual reference to her undergarments. “Err… Ok I—we—I mean, Ron and I, we… Well we tried to have sex, ok!? And well… we were both virgins and we were kissing and stuff and then we—oh God I can’t believe I’m telling you this! We were going to do it and… and… he… Well, he shot his stuff on my leg and ran away and we never mentioned it or tried to do it again!”

Draco just sat there, open-mouthed, unable to believe his ears. The urge to cry with mirth was overwhelming. The Weasel was a premature ejaculator. Hah! There was a God!

“You said you wouldn’t laugh!”

“I’m…. not…” he whimpered, barely moving his lips for fear of bursting.

“I can see it in your face, you’re laughing at me inside that thick skull of yours!”

“No, no, no, no, no… Firstly, just let me make one thing perfectly clear. If I was to laugh, it wouldn’t be at you, it would be with you, and we would both be laughing at the Weasel. Secondly, I feel for you, I really do, because two virgins just aren’t meant to be. Now, one virgin and one blonde, handsome and now exceptionally experienced Slytherin… Well… that’s just a match made in sexual heaven!”

“But I never answered your virgin question.”

“What, you’re not!?”

“At-at-ah Malfoy, I believe it’s my turn to do the asking…”




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*Don’t hate me for the semi-cliffy!* This chapter actually almost started out as truth or dare, so you have to give me some credit for making up a new slightly different game for them. Not that there’s anything wrong with Truth or Dare chapters or anything, I always enjoy reading them, they’re fun! This was just a good and easy way for them to get to know one another, so I’m sorry that it wasn’t very original, but it had to be done. But now I believe I have a couple of drunken Heads to sort out, and then it’s back to writing silly poems woot woot! Lol. And somewhere in here I have like 30 pages of lines to learn…

But anyways, you know what to do! Please read and review!!