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CHAPTER FIVE: When Wizards Get The Munchies





Hermione sat in the media room, flicking her wand repeatedly at the wireless television as she surfed through the channels. Why was it that even in the magical realm a person just couldn’t find anything worth watching? She was bored out of her mind, having been basically ignored all through dinner as Lucius and Severus caught up. She doubted that they noticed when she excused herself and left the room.





She heard them shuffle through the hall earlier as they left the house for a bit, only to return an hour later and head back upstairs where they holed up in Lucius’s study. Hermione jumped when the house suddenly began to vibrate with the sounds of music coming from upstairs. She recognized it instantly, it was Aerosmith. Why were Lucius and Severus playing muggle rock music, full blast at midnight?



Hermione spelled the television off and made her way down the hall and up the stairs. She stopped outside the study door and listened for a moment. They were listening to the song Dream On….and laughing hysterically.





Hermione frowned for a moment before knocking. No one answered, so she pushed the door open and stepped into a smoke filled room.





Severus was sitting on one end of the sofa, his Slytherin scarf around his neck and a knit cap pulled down low over his head. Lucius was sitting at the other end, his own scarf tied around his head. The cushion between them was littered with bags of crisps, sweets and cupcakes, the coffee table covered with cans of soda.





“What are you doing?” Hermione asked, her hands on her hips as she stared down at the stoned wizards.



“Um…having a snack?” Lucius said, smiling cheekily up at her. Severus snorted and started laughing again.



“Oh really? And where did you get all the muggle junk food?” She asked.



“London?” Lucius said it like a question.



“So, you two went to London, bought pot and junk food, then came back home to get high and snack? Is that right?” She asked.



“Nope….Sev brought the pot.” Lucius started laughing again. “And we got high first.” He said through his laughter. “Then we went to London.” He was clutching his stomach he was laughing so hard. “And got the snacks.”



“Severus, did you bring pot into my house and give it to my husband?” Hermione snapped. She was on the verge of laughing herself when Severus looked up at her guiltily.





“It was his pot.” He said, pointing at Lucius.





“If it was his, then how were you the one who brought it.” She asked.





“I found the quill box…see.” Severus held up the little gold box filled with their little evening’s entertainment.



“You found it?” She looked at it for a moment, and recognized it as one of the boxes from school. “Severus how old it the pot?”



“Um….seventh year….Lucius is 46…..so subtract eighteen…..” Severus pursed his lips as he tried to make his befuddled brain do math.



“Twenty eight! You are smoking pot from the seventies! Are you two mental?” She looked at the two snickering idiots as they started laughing all over again.





“I’m sorry honey….please don’t be mad.” Lucius said, barely able to breathe through his hilarity. “Hey, I know…lets go swimming!” He said, his eyes popping wide and revealing just how bloodshot they were.





“No thank you, your friend Smokey over there swims naked.” She said, rolling her eyes. Of all the things she thought she could possibly see in her lifetime, two over the hill wizards stoned out of their heads was not high on the list.



“Smokey? Oh you mean Sev….yeah, he said you saw his wand.” Lucius sniggered.







“Yes, he’s very proud of it apparently.” She took a deep breath and shook her head. “I am going to bed….”





“Can I come?” Severus had the cheek to ask.





“No.” She said.





“Please? I’m quite handy with my wand.” He said, sending Lucius into another fit of giggles.



“Yup, very handy.” He said, making a gesture with his hand to imitate male masturbation.





“I have no doubt you are quite talented, but I am a married woman.”





“Not really, you haven’t let him in yet.” Severus said as he smiled idiotically from beneath the stupid knit cap.





“That’s none of your business Severus.” Hermione huffed as Lucius wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head on her backside when she tried to leave.





“I’m sorry, can I come with you? I have the right to be there….I own you, I have papers somewhere….” Lucius let her go and began digging through his pockets as though looking for a pink slip.





“You two have fun….I’m going to bed. Alone!” She pointed at Severus who looked as though he were about to follow her. She closed the door of the study behind her in disgust.



“Good lord, you would think they were seventeen, not grown men in their forties!” She stomped down the hall to her rooms, closing and locking the door, and placing a ward on the door connecting her room to Lucius. Just in case Cheech and Chong tried to join her. She changed into her nightie and crawled into bed, finally giving into the hilarity and laughing hysterically until she fell asleep.









***This was all I had finished when I started posting..wasnt sure anyone would be interested in a comedy filled smut fic...yes, there is smut LOL