Vows

Chapter 5

“Yes,” Hermione nodded and started to get the tray with the pot and teacups when a very long a snake wound its way around the tray and hissed at Hermione. She screamed and fell back on the ground.
Harry turned around and started hissing and talking to the snake.

Hermione was stunned as she watched the snake and Harry hiss and spit to each other.

Harry looked at Hermione and laughed a little as he said,
“You scared him as much as he scared you. He won’t attack you again. Otherwise, he will be in big trouble.”

Hermione felt all her blood fall to her feet and hands. She stared at Harry. Who could talk to snakes and tell them what to do? Adam and Eve didn’t do that. The snake talked to them. Was Harry evil? The Devil has many disguises. He disguises himself by looking and acting good as an innocent. Making Hermione think she has magical powers could be another. Making her want to be with him was yet another.

Harry extended his hand to her and she backed away from him.
“You can talk to snakes. Only God and the Devil have that power.”

Harry stepped towards her and she backed up a few more steps,
“Stay away from me. You were trying to lure me in to a trap to become like you.”

“No Hermione you’ve got it wrong. I’m not trying to trap you. I’m trying to set you free.” Harry admitted.

But Hermione didn’t hear it as she ran back to the house and to her room.
She looked in the mirror and felt ashamed she abandoned her habit so easily. She dressed back in to it prayed for guidance seizing her rosary beads.

That afternoon she went up the church and prayed for forgiveness for not being a better novice. Hermione heard Harry outside the church and stayed there until it was almost sun down.
Harry came into the church grabbed her. She protested until he pointed his wand at her and told her to calm down.

They ran down the hill. The sky was grey and the clouds betrayed the storm brewing in them.

Harry pulled Hermione all the way down mountainous terrain down to the garden and into the house in the dark.

He was huffing and puffing as she was bent over trying to catch their breath. He slammed front door was closed and locked it.

Harry looked at her with furious eyes,
“Have you gone BLOODY INSANE? “ His voice grew in anger.
“IT’S DARK OUT NOW. WE’RE LUCKY WE GOT HERE BEFORE ANYTHING GOT TO US. IF YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF …FINE. BUT I’M NOT STICKING MY NECK OUT FOR YOU AGAIN. WHEN THE SUN IS DOWN I’M LOCKING THE DOOR WHETHER YOU ARE IN OR OUT.”

She stared at him as she knelt on the floor still trying to catch her breath.

“And I’m not evil. I just have a power that allows me to talk to snakes doesn’t make me evil. If I wanted to do anything to you I would have done it by now. Tortured, maimed or even killed you. Hell, we could have sold you but we didn’t. There are curse that could make you do anything I tell you to do.”

Hermione looked down at the floor as her breath came back to her.

“Are you even listening to me?” Harry asked her in a rage,
“Imperio.”

And Hermione felt strange and looked at Harry.
“You’re going to listen to me now. With this curse I could make you do anything, have you walk out that door, have you cook a banquet” He threw her a wand, “make you duel.”

Harry put down his wand slowly calming down and stepped towards her extending his hand and he grabbed her hand with wand in it and makes her pointed it under her chin.
“I could have you kill yourself,” looking into her eyes.
He spun her around and knocking the wand from her hand with one hand he pressed his thumb against her throat as if it was a knife, his other now pulled her chin up and to the left and whisper,
“I could very easily have a knife in my hand and …” he moved his thumb along her jugular vein.
“I don’t need to magic kill you.”

Hermione breathed out as he slowly moved his thumb and relaxed against him.

Nether of them moved for a long moment. Hermione could feel Harry’s warm hand on her neck making her lightheaded and she closed her eyes for a moment.

“I’m sorry Hermione. I lost control for a moment.” Harry admitted.
It was then she noticed she was trembling. She leaded forward to separate herself from his warm form.

Without looking at him at him she said,
“I’m going to my room. Please do not disturb me.” Hermione said as she walked to her room.
She was still shaking but not from fear. She wished it were from fear but instead her shaking arose from surprise and arousal. God, she wanted to be against his body again with his hand on her neck.

Hermione went to her room and knelt down and began to pray once more for forgiveness and guidance. For hours, she prayed but Harry’s face kept popping into her mind

She realized she was hungry and listened to see if she could hear Harry in the kitchen. She heard nothing so she ventured into the kitchen to make herself something to eat.

Hermione warmed up some chicken pie and got herself a glass of water. She noticed no dishes in the sink. Harry hadn’t eaten either. Feeling guilty she warmed up another piece of pie and got him a mug of ale.

She left a tray at his door and knocked until she heard him move.

Hermione went back in to the kitchen and put her food on a tray.
In the corner of her eye, she saw Harry standing in the doorway.

“I ... I don’t think you are evil Harry. I’m sorry I called you evil.” Hermione said aloud.

She picked up her tray and walked to her room Harry following her at a distance. Hermione looked at him as she slowly closed the door. He wanted to say something but all he said was,
“Hermione I…I” looking very guilty.

“Goodnight and God bless you Harry.” Hermione said.

The novice ate and read the Bible but Harry still kept popping into her thoughts.

Even when she was sleeping Harry entered her dreams not just entered them invaded them in a wonderful way. She dreamed they danced and took long walks together. He looked in to her eyes and caressed her cheek. She gazed at his lips and wondered what it would be like to kiss them or be kissed by them her finger tracing the curve of his lips.
Suddenly she heard the Bishops voice,
“Pain and blood cleanse your mind and body of impure thoughts.”

Hermione woke up sitting up with an echo in her ears of her own scream.

She heard Harry’s footsteps running toward her room.

He pounded on the door and yelled
“Hermione! Hermione are you alright?”

“Yes I’m alright. Just had a bad dream.” she replied.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes. Go back to bed, Harry. Please. I’m sorry I woke you.” Hermione said with regret.

She tried to go back to sleep but she just kept dreaming of Harry in a lustful way. The Bishop seemed to appear in the dream at the critical moment.
Hermione got very little sleep for the rest of the night.

She made breakfast the next morning for Harry but wasn’t hungry herself. She prayed in her room all morning and then went up to the church and tried to pray there away from Harry. But he was there in her mind… in her heart and the thought of him made her heart beat faster.

The more Harry crept into her thoughts, the more she prayed and the more she prayed the more she thought of him. She was praying all the time and her head ached as well as her knees and her fingers from holding on to her rosary beads. She stopped eating remembering that some of the saints fasted for penance.

Hermione thought if she fasted the pain of hunger would keep her mind pure. So all she did is drink water. The novice started for the church in the mornings and stayed all day until the sun was setting. She made Harry his breakfast and dinner but she made him get his own lunch.

She hadn’t seen him in three days when she started to hear the voices and seeing shadows move around her. Hermione knew it was from the lack of sleep or rather no sleep of three nights. Things began to become clearer for her. She had to do more to rid herself of her lustful feelings toward Harry.

It had snowed again in the high hill and Hermione was trudging up the hill.
She was resting and was looking down at her shoes. Moses went up a mountain to speak to God and he had to take off his shoes.

The novice removed her shoes and did a prayer of thanks for showing her the way.

Her feet were frozen by the time she got to the church and she prayed for strength to endure her penance. She looked up at the cross and saw Father Lupin’s face looking down at her. Hermione felt as though she was on the right path to God again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The novice was getting dressed the next morning after praying all night thanking God for the sign. She looked in the mirror and for a long moment she wondered if Harry liked her hair up or down, did he think she was pretty even with dark circles under her eyes and her pasty complexion.

The voices in her head chastised at her for being a temptress and vain.
“No. No. I’m not. Here,” she said loud to quiet the voices. She picked up a pair of shears and started cutting off her hair in large clumps making it no longer then an inch in length all round her head.

Hermione put on her wimple and veil. She then knelt down and prayed for forgiveness for her weakness and vanity.

She made Harry his breakfast and left before he awoke.

Hermione climbed the snow covered hill again and all the way up Harry’s face kept coming into her mind his lips, his eyes and his form.

She was going to go to Hell if she didn’t stop this, these feeling. What kind of a nun would she be?

Hermione knelt down and blessed herself. She looked at the pictures on the walls. The faces were moving. She heard something outside dash away, a shadowy unnatural figure. Was it a demon? The novice walked up to the life size cross on the Altar and looked at Christ’s face, but it wasn’t his face or Father Lupin’s. It was Harry’s face.

She was going burn in hell for sure. Her body betrayed her as it ached for his touch. Hermione didn’t care how or why she just wanted him. He was not the evil one... she was. She wanted him to touch her, to kiss her and want HER. She was evil and a temptress as the Bishop had said.
She wanted Father Lupin to love her and God punished her by taking him away for her. Hermione couldn’t do that to Harry. He was good and innocent.

The novice prayed out loud and cried for absolution.

Hermione didn’t remember how she got back to the house.
She found herself standing in a corner talking nonsense. She threw her shoes into the fire instead of next to it.
She felt dizzy and sick to her stomach and there was a loud rushing noise in her ears.

She sat on her bed trying to think of something besides Harry. She couldn’t remember what her parents looked like or what her house looked like. Everything seemed to be fading out of her mind.

The next morning Hermione went up to the church.
The novice went up the frosty hill barefoot.
Hermione knelt her knees ached from the bruises, feet stung from being cracked and bleeding ‘Pain and bleeding cleanses the mind of sinful thoughts’ the voices whispered. There were tears in her eyes as she held the crucifix of her rosaries so tight it dug into her hand looking at the huge cross on the wall.

“God please get him out of my head. Please help me not want him so. I don't want to have these impure thoughts. If you are testing me, I fear I will fail.” she cried.

But she realized the more she prayed to get Harry out of her thoughts the more she thought about him the more she had to pray around and around. Her head was spinning and it ached.

Hermione looked at the cross on the alter saw Harry’s face again but it moved and came close to her with an upset expression on his face.
He spoke to her,
“ What have you done to yourself?” he asked.

“Is it not what you wanted?” Hermione replied.

“Where are your shoes?”

“I walk on holy ground. I had to take them off. It is my penance,” confused as to why he was asking her that.
Hermione looked at him. He wasn’t on the cross. It was Harry.

“God wanted you to take them off?” Harry asked her,
“Is that why your feet are bleeding? Penance?”

“Yes. Bleeding and pain cleanses the mind of impure thoughts. Penance.” Hermione said softly.
Harry knelt down next to her and embraced her for a moment and stiffened.
His hand felt her hips, her back and he pulled away staring at her and felt her arms under the flowing habit.

“What have you done? When was the last time you ate? You’re thin.” Harry yelled looking scared.

“They did their penance this way and so am I. “
“Starving yourself for what, enlightenment or punishment?”

“I’m going to hell for all my thoughts and feelings. I loved Father Lupin …Remus and God took him away. They sent him way because of me and then died. Drowned because of me. I don’t want to do that to you too. The Bishop was right. I’m evil. A temptress. That’s why he whipped me… to save me… Please Harry whip me ….save me. I don’t want to go to Hell.”

Harry looked into her eyes shaking his head, with horror.
“What did they teach you, to torture yourself?” he stroke her cheeks and saw the deep circles around her eyes,”
“You’re ill.”

“If you cared anything about me, Harry, do it,” she pleaded.
“NO!” he hissed.

“I’m dying Harry and I’m going to hell as we speak. I’m in it already. I’m in so much pain and torment.” she cried.


“What could you have done that was so bad, Hermione, that you did this to yourself?” Harry wondered out loud.

“I mustn’t have these thoughts. Bleeding and pain cleanses the mind and soul of impure thoughts,” she whispered, feeling very tired and hopeless.

“What thoughts?” Harry asked softly.

She looked in to his eyes and smiled weakly,
“You.” She closed her eyes. He was so close just inches away. It would be so easy. ‘I’m going to hell. I’m going to burn for just the thought of him I might as well do the deed.’ she thought to herself.

Hermione opened her eyes and looked at Harry,
“I’m sorry Harry forgive me,” and she touched her lips to his for a long wonderful moment. It was an innocent kiss, lips together in a childlike kiss.

The novice leaned back to see what damage she had done.

Harry was in shock.
He didn’t look mad, but he stared at her in a funny way as he came forward.

His lips touched hers softly. One long, soft kiss and then several short bursts of kisses.

His hand cupped her face drawing her closer to him. He pulled her veil and scapular off and looked sad,
“Your hair?”
“Penance ….for vanity,” she explained. Hermione didn’t care any more she just wanted this moment to last. Her lips parted wanting more of him. This stunned and excited Harry and he entered her mouth with eagerness. His hands were also pulling her into a tight embrace.

Hermione pulled away,
“No, Harry you’ll go to hell too.”
“Then I’ll burn with you,” He whispered taking her lips again.
He was nearly on top of her when Hermione saw the Bishop’s face and broke the kiss.

“He knows, he sees,” she murmured.
“Come on let’s get you cleaned up and out of here.” Harry said as he shredded some old white robes into bandages to wrap around Hermione’s feet.

They made their way down the mountain like terrain. Hermione saw her bloodied footprints in the snow and wondered why she hadn’t fainted from lack of blood.
The pain was getting to be too much and Harry levitated her into the air.
Harry was carrying her in his arms as laid her head on his shoulder.
He stopped a few times asking her if she was in any pain.

He gazed in to her eyes and peeked at her lips.
They were near the bottom when Hermione asked him to put her down.
He did but his arms remained around her. He was looking at her with half lid eyes and was breathing heavily.

Hermione couldn’t stand it and she kissed him.