Unexpected Desire

Chapter 5: We do not remember days; we remember moments
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“Oh, right.” She ran after him.

Once she had caught up to him, he offered his arm to her. Hesitantly, she slipped her hand around the crook of his elbow. In silence, the two made their way past the gates to Hogwarts. He stopped abruptly and faced Constance, putting both his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him mildly surprise.

“We will need to apparate to London from here; apparition is not possible in Hogwarts due to the wards.” He looked at her with greater intensity, “Now, this is very important. I need you to trust me, much like you did when we flooed to Dumbledore’s office, except this is much more different, more dangerous, but nothing that can’t be repaired. We are actually teleporting from one place to another. I do not want us to get – splinched.” She grimaced at the word, not needing an explanation. “Will you trust me?” She nodded silently. He made his grip tighter as he muttered the spell, followed up by a loud pop.

Feeling a little queasy, Constance forced her eyes open. She found that they were in some cramped alleyway. She took hold of Snape’s right arm and clung to it. She was a bit claustrophobic, but she would never admit it, lest he threw her in a closet as a mean joke. Emerging from the passage, she took a deep breath, taking in the sight around her. So this is London?

“I took the liberty of apparating us near a drug store. We will take care of your ‘womanly things’ now,” Severus snorted, while Constance blushed.

“But, how will I,” she began sheepishly, “How will I pay you back for this?”

“Nonsense, you will do nothing of the sort. However, you’re technically part of Hogwarts Faculty, so you should be getting paid fairly soon.” She formed her mouth in an ‘o’ type expression at his matter-of-factness. “Speaking of, we will need to make an account for you at Gringotts, which I visited today to convert a fair sum of Galleons into muggle currency for our outing.” He nudged her along to the store.

She guaranteed they would not need to visit the drug store for anything in particular for a very long time. He cast the reducio charm on her purchases to minimize them as he put them in his pockets.

“Good gods, woman. How long do you suppose you’ll be at it?” Severus looked at Constance in an amused, yet slightly serious manner. She responded with laughter.

“Oh, stop it. I just want to make sure I won’t have to ask you again for an outing like this for quite a while. But now that we’ve covered that, where are the department stores? I’m ready to get comfy.” Her eyes lit up as she turned her gaze to him, waiting in earnest.

“What is it with women and shopping,” Severus thought to himself. He sighed as he took her hand, forcing her to follow him to some dark alley. She whimpered softly in disdain at the sudden change of their surroundings, before she walked and stubbed her nose into Severus’ back.

“Ow,” was the last word uttered before the tell-tale pop echoed down the empty passage. Realizing that Severus had apparated them behind yet another building in yet another alley, she brought a finger up to his large nose and bonked it. He burrowed his brow at her gesture. “You could tell me next time we ‘pop off’ somewhere.”

“And lose the element of surprise? Never.” He dryly retorted. She scoffed, rolling her eyes at his lame joke, before taking his arm as they walked into the large shop, Marks and Spencers. Her eyes widened in wonder at the type of clothing she found in this establishment. She was downright stunned by some of it, not in glee but disgust. She had to remind herself repeatedly; she was now eight years behind her actual time and in another country as well. The sense of fashion will be different and this will have to do.

Severus stood back and watched her as she moved around slowly taking in everything that looked interesting to her, occasionally making grimaces at an appalling piece of fabric. He did not know why she took such great care in what she chose to wear; she’d looked magnificent in anything. He tried not making these comments to himself, but he it was hard to deny her beauty. He realized he was staring and quickly averted his gaze to a headless mannequin as Constance approached him, while carrying several garments.

She began with that sheepish tone she had earlier, “I’ve looked at the prices of some of these… Are you sure I can–”

“I can assure you, Constance that I am well taken care of. I hardly need the income I receive as being a Professor at Hogwarts, which is a modest one at that.” Severus replied not giving her the chance to finish her foolish question. He smirked as her cheeks reddened before she left for the fitting rooms. The girl ceased to amaze him. She appeared to be timid and gentle, but a truly brash, dirty-mouthed, vixen beneath it all. He was surprised to find himself preferring the latter.

As she continued to peruse the selections of the shop, she grew tired of the silence between herself and the Potions Master. Without taking her eyes off of the midnight-blue gown she was inspecting, she asked, “So why did you do it?”

“Why did I do what?” Snape quirked an eyebrow at the vague question, following Constance to a nearby mirror on a column.

“Become a Death Eater? Why did you decide to follow this Dark Lord?” She put the dress up to her body, not wanting to waste the effort of actually trying it on, if it didn’t compliment her.

His face looked as bland as ever, yet his eyes spoke volumes; full of regret and anger. “It was due to my foolishness as a young boy, my naiveté got the better of me. I felt I would belong, yet felt the most out of place I have ever been. The things I have witnessed… and done. It was foolishness and delusions of grandeur, which I will pay for with my life.” Constance met his gaze in the reflection of the mirror, unsure if she should make a reply. He leaned into her ear, lightly resting his hands on her hips and whispered, “It suits you.” He walked away leaving her staring at the spot his reflection stood.

Severus tapped his foot absentmindedly as he leaned against the wall outside the fitting rooms. “It has been two hours already, surely she’s found what she needed, we could always come back later.” He heard a soft cough at the entranceway.

He found Constance staring at him, with a questioning look in her eyes. She was wearing the midnight-blue evening gown. Black and silver floral designs ornamented the bodice flowing down the mermaid style skirt. The darkness of the blue seemed to contrast perfectly with her fair skin; her dark hair vanishing with the design almost becoming a part of it. His breath was caught in his throat as she looked at him expectantly. He closed his slightly gaping mouth and looked away, focusing on the column in front of him. She smiled softly, but he didn’t catch it.

“I told you it suited you,” he murmured.

“I know,” she took a step towards him, “And you will pay, Severus. But only to me.” She raised herself on the tip of her toes to give him a peck on the cheek.

He stiffened immediately and held his breath until she walked back into her changing room. He had never felt so uncomfortable in his life, not even when he had the Dark Mark branded into his left forearm. What did she mean by that? Why was she able to make him feel this way? How is it that she could move him? He felt her tug at his elbow.

“I’m ready,” She said, following it with a smile. It was the most heartwarming smile he had ever received. He dumbly nodded and realized this girl could move his soul and invoke such anger, or any emotion for that matter, because she had nothing to lose. Her sole objective in life is to be by his side.

After he had paid and followed her to the back of the store he thought,

“and in the most secret
corners of my heart as it discovers
and adores you--”

“Are you starved,” her stomach grumbled, “Because I am.” He raised an eyebrow and smirked, as he performed the reducio charm on the purchases.

“Pray tell, Constance, what are we to eat tonight?”

“Tacos! Anything! I’d love to have fast food right about now. Nothing like stuffing your face with pure filth.” Severus shook his head at the comment. But without a thought, he apparated them to the closest fast-food restaurant he could think of.

“Mc-Bloody-Fuckin’-Donald’s,” Constance snorted. “Nice going, Severus. You hit ‘pure filth’ right on the dot.”

“I’m glad I could meet your criterion,” Severus scowled. “I would appreciate it if you would not curse aloud, Constance. It is not becoming for a young woman such as yourself.” She rolled her eyes as she followed him in.

Severus settled with drinking coffee, reading a muggle newspaper, occasionally watching Constance devour her cheeseburger and large fries. He was too dignified to even touch the “filth” she called it. She ate it with so much pleasure, it puzzled him. The monstrosity was filled with probably a pail full of grease. How she was able to keep her slim figure? But who was he to talk; he could barely gain weight if he tried. Without looking up from his paper, he decided to take advantage of their silence.

“So, who were the people you left behind, Constance?”

“Everyone.” She stated simply before rising from her seat abruptly. She walked over to the refilling station.

He waited patiently for her to make her way back and asked, still reading the paper, “Who is ‘everyone’?”

After taking a sip from re-filled drink, “My parents, Harold, a doctor, and Marie, a school nurse; my brothers, Steven and Maxwell; my best friend, Elaine, among other friends, but none who meant more to me than her, and… my boyfriend, Keith.” He inwardly quirked an eyebrow at the last bit mentioned. She appeared almost hesitant to say his name, perhaps they weren’t too serious.

“Do you miss them?”

“Everyday,” she managed to speak in a stifled voice.

“Who do you miss the most?” He finally took his eyes off the paper in front of him and rested them on Constance, who began to eat her sandwich again, though not with much fervor as before.

“My father. He always seemed to know how to talk to me and somehow make things better.” She took a bite out of her burger.

“I would like to see him try and make this better,” Severus snorted under his breath.

“And I would like that very much too, Severus.” With that said, she turned her attention to her meal again, not caring to notice the uneasy look on the Potions Master’s face.

He cleared his throat, “I should inform you, Constance, before you choke on that disgusting piece of so-called meat, that we will be training with your powers in hand-to-hand combat, beginning next week. Seeing how you’ve become comfortable with your surroundings so far…” Severus trailed off, resuming his inspection of the muggle paper. “And this will be the last time you’ll be eating this tripe. It’ll make you sluggish.” She grunted in response.

After Constance felt sated with her meal, she observed Severus. From all that she has learned about him, living with him in such close quarters, this was the first time he was actually being pleasant, conversational even. She snorted at the idea. The most feared professor ever to walk the corridors of Hogwarts and she had him carting around her tampons and undies, among other things, in his pockets.

As the thought stirred from her mind, she promptly regretted it after taking a swig of her coke at the same time, which she snorted up through her nose. Severus looked up in confusion and announced it was time for the two of them to head back, before she hacks up anything else.
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The week went by slowly. Reading up on the Wizarding world and keeping up with her “homework assignments” that Severus had given was wearing Constance down. She’s never done so much studying before in her life. On top of all that, she has to teach children to not blow themselves up every time they step into the classroom. The days she teaches are the days Severus is the happiest; apparently, she puts on an amusing show. Sometimes she regrets the fact of ever finding out she was witch. She has to catch up of seven years worth of schooling that she never knew existed. She can’t even cast spells. Well, with that fact alone, that should cut out at least two years worth. Right?

Constance rose from her desk in Severus’ (she shared them, but the fact is she is still only a guest) quarters and stretched. She knew what she needed to do; she needed to run, desperately. She stepped out of the chambers after she had changed out of her previous wardrobe, which consisted of the school robes. She was glad they went shopping earlier; this was much more comfortable.

She walked down the corridors, oblivious to the students gaping at her attire; no one is allowed to walk around in just a sports bra and joggers, even if you are part of the faculty. She walked past Filch who was berating a poor Hufflepuff for sticking his gum on the armor in the corridor. She managed to have the man forget what he was ranting on about and sputter like a bumbling idiot. Before he could manage an actual word, Constance had already stepped out the main entrance and sprinted.

She ran as far as she could, as fast as she could, eventually slowing herself down to a jog. Breathing deeply as the breeze washed over her, she gazed at the lake and how the sun sprinkled itself over the water. She tripped and fell after seeing a huge squid float to the surface and idly paddle itself across the lake. Her mouth fell open.

“What the fuck? Nessie?” Constance quietly said to herself. She slowly edged away from the lake, worried that the giant creature could see her. Deeming it a safe distance, she sprinted again, waiting to see where she would find herself this time. She pushed herself harder to run longer and found herself in a very deep thicket. It smelled differently here. It was stuffy, yet it stung her nose, very overpowering; probably mildew and mint.

Her jog slowed, until she was merely wandering aimlessly around the forest. She picked up a meter long branch and used it as her walking stick, occasionally batting away an overgrown bug. She took in the sights of the colors the forest around her produced: green, gold, and amber. This little venture reminded her of times when she would go exploring when she was younger. A sudden wave of melancholy hit her hard in the chest. That time no longer existed.

It was the middle of September in 1998; she would have been 11 years old, the same age she would first go off by herself to walk around. In a sense, she was reliving the memory, recreating it. She smiled softly at her minute revelation.

She turned around after hearing a low, guttural sound and twig break. She was sure to add one thing to her new memory – an eight foot spider.

Like she treated the situation at the lake, Constance slowly edged away from the huge arachnid. It made another low grumbling noise; Constance shuddered, it could definitely see her. She promptly turned back to the direction she came and sprinted, hoping her legs could take her back to Hogwarts. And fast.

“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT MOTHERFUCK ME SHIT!”
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I'm sorry if the story is seeming to go by slowly. It's just that... it's a hard concept and I feel I need to explain... almost everything. I'm a born rambler v_v.
Tsk, ya. But thanks to all for reading and I hope sheherazade that you enjoyed their outing to London. :)

That little snippet of a poem was part of "Forbidden Fruit" by Michael Lally.
The title is quote from Cesare Pevase.

/sigh, it may be a while for me to update this story. I need to write a bit more more before I feel comfortable putting up another chapter. Not to mention this weekend will be busy and tiring as hell. And please review, I would love to know if I'm being too serious, not serious enough, too much rambling, etc... I'm still figuring this story out, a work-in-progress on the dot.