Why Fred and George Will Never Eavesdrop Again ...

Hermione barreled into Fred and George’s room, slamming the door behind her. White as a ghost and out of breath, she collapsed on the bed between the two laughing boys.

“Told ya’ little miss knowitall.” George smirked, ruffling her puffy hair.

“They weren’t doing anything like that.” She complained, shaking her head. “It was much worse.”

“Well, I have had enough. They have no right to carry on like this around the girls.” Ron asserted bravely shoving through the door, leaving all the other kids to stare at each other.

“Just what were they doing when you went down, Hermione?”

Ron reached the door, raising his fist to knock.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” He heard Sirius croon. “Then we can compare.”

Severus snorted loudly, added with great pride in his voice, “There is no comparison; mine is far better than yours.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Remus decided.

Ron paled, turned tail, and fled as fast as his long legs could carry him, two steps at a time, back to Fred and George’s room, tackling the door, and diving on to the bed to bury his head under the pillow. His weight, plus the three teenagers already there, caused the bed to collapse in a loud crash.

“Ronald!” Hermione shrieked. “Really, they were only pointing their fingers at each other pretending to be cowboys!”

“I don’t think they’re pointing their fingers at each other any more, Hermione.” Ron babbled as he rolled over, eyes inadvertently glancing at his own crotch.

“One, two, three, DRAW!” Remus shouted.

Sirius and Severus faced each other across the length of the room, legs spread wide in their best cowboy stance, hands ready. On Remus’ count, they both drew their wands with lightening speed.

“CRASH!” The noise from directly above them caused all three wizards to freeze in place.

“What the bloody hell are those kids doing?”

“I’ll go.” Snape grumbled. “They’re most afraid of me.” He snarled, curling his lip into delicious petrifying potions master pose.

As Snape glided from the room, Remus looked at Sirius, who looked back at Remus. They both bounded for the steps to follow and watch the fireworks.

“Just what are you talking about Ronald, in plain English, please?” Hermione scolded. Ginny giggled. Harry grinned. Fred and George waggled their eyebrows in simulcast.

“They were, you know, showing each other their …” He motioned to his crotch with both hands, blushing beet red all the way into the roots of his hair. “ … wands.”

“Indeed, Mr. Weasley, and pray tell who was showing each other their wands?” Snape silkily inquired, arms crossed leaning against the door jamb.

Ron attempted to swallow his tongue. Hermione averted her eyes. Harry studied the toes of his shoes. Fred and George paled significantly so that their many freckles stood in stark relief.

“I believe you should all be in your own rooms … ASLEEP!” Snape bellowed. Remus and Sirius stood in the hall way peeking through the door, snickering.

“He does that scary bat routine really well.” Sirius stifled a giggle as he leaned into his old friend.

“To perfection.” Remus sighed with respect shining in his eyes. They both put on their stern, disapproving adult faces as the kids came filing out one by one, first Harry bolting through the door, followed quickly by Hermione, then Ron. Ginny unfolded her legs from under her, rising gracefully. She trolled past her potions professor purring just loud enough for all to hear.

“You can point your wand in my direction, any time, Professor.”

Snape’s face fell. Fred and George’s jaws dropped. Ginny grinned mischievously at the two adults in the hall, placing a thoughtful finger to her lips before adding, “Any of you three, really.”

“MOLLY!” Three disturbed male voices thundered through the house, waking the portrait who began to shriek, who in turn interrupted Molly from her dessert. She released the shiny purplish head of Arthur’s cock with a definite scowl on her face.

“Really, you’d think those three were the only ones to get any around here.” She grumbled rolling out of bed to settle who knew what dispute this time.