Awakenings

Awakenings - Part Five

Draco moved through the stacks heading the direction Hermione had disappeared. For someone who seemed to know the library like the back of her hand, she was taking her time finding a book. He found her, sitting on a shelf to the far end of the last stack, a book open on her lap. Hermione didn't look up as he approached, a slight smile playing on her lips as he reached her.

"Did you find it?"

"Well," she said slowly. "I must have been a little confused." She put the book back on the shelf behind her. "We already had the right book, call it a momentary lack of sense."

He slid onto the shelf next to her, and asked an un-necessary question, "so why didn't you come back when you figured this out?"

"Would being lost be a good reason?"

"For you? Not likely."

"I wanted you to come find me," she said quietly, a slight blush forming on her cheeks.

Draco leaned back against the shelf, closing his eyes, "I thought so."

"Are you okay?"

"Depends on your definition of okay."

"I don't think you are," she whispered, taking one of his hands in hers, and leaned against his shoulder.

"I'm not."

"What is it?"

"What isn't it?"

"Draco, you can tell me, whatever is bothering you. I will listen, I want you to tell me."

"When did I become Draco? I was always Malfoy or Ferret boy, not that I mind the change of the latter."

She shifted against him slightly, "I don't know. Natural progression I imagine, and it is a tad formal to you call you by your family name. I think we've moved past that, and I didn't call you ferret all that often, but I can if you like."

"I'll survive," he chuckled softly.

"So that's it? What I call you is what's bothering you?"

"Not completely. Just everything, it all adds up to a giant weight resting on my shoulders. Much more and I think it'll be too much."

"Let me take some of it off then."

Draco looked down at her head resting against his shoulder, there was a giant part of the weight right there. A year ago would she be doing that? Not very likely. Being together in the same room would light the fuse, and they'd all come in firing. With Potter and Weasley by her side, she stood up to all others. She didn't need them to be a force to be reckoned with, but they definitely aided her fight. They weren't here though, they had done the unthinkable, taking flight and leaving her behind. No doubt with the noblest intentions, wanting her safe. They just left a different Hermione to be protected.

She looked like she always had, spoke just the same, but she was nowhere near her old self. In regards to him, she would have questioned him every step of the way, pushed him to breaking point, been anxious to discover just what he was doing here. Barely an eyebrow had been raised however, she looked at him occasionally, but never spoke to him. Her head remained in her books, and he was a non-entity.

That was until a few days ago of course, suddenly her eyes were on him. He was suddenly on her horizon. Something changed, it wasn't her moment with Blaise, that affected him. It was within Hermione that the change happened, she sought him out, she kissed him. Maybe if he knew what it was, some of the weight could be lifted from him.

"Why me, why now? Six months ago, you wouldn't have wanted to be within three feet of me, and now, hoping I'll come across you in a deserted library stack? Things have changed Granger, a whole bloody lot."

"That's for sure," she whispered. "You aren't the bad guy Draco, I was completely convinced six months ago that you were. It was all black and white, there was no grey. You are the grey."

"I'm definitely not the good guy here Granger, I may not have said the words, but I created the environment. It was my actions that brought it about, it happened because of me."

"You were manipulated, too young, too scared. Place anyone in that situation, tell them that there family will be killed if they don't do it, and they will. You did something wrong, quite a few things wrong, but right now is your chance to do the right thing. To show that you can do the right thing. To show that you can do the right thing, you just have to grab it with both hands."

"Nice sentiment Granger, but they are just words."

"Just words true, but you can do it. You have it in you, I've seen it. Right now, yesterday, the day before. That night, you made a choice, not to. There is good in you Draco, you just never had the chance to show it."

"Even if I did something good, it wouldn't make a bit of difference to some people. As far as they are concerned, I'm a killer. I've lived up to my family name."

"You are nothing like your father, you made the right choice. A choice that he would have never made. With a second of thought, he would have done it. You are a Malfoy by name, and name only."

"Why are you so eager to believe?" He stood up, and moved to the other side of the aisle. "I could be playing you Granger, playing you so very well. For all your brains, you could be falling for my tricks."

Hermione looked him straight in the eye, "you may be. I don't think you are though. I've watched you, last year while Harry was suspicious, and this year. The way you are now is just a more developed and intense version of that, where you playing me back then?"

He shook his head.

"So you can say all you want about who you are, and try to push me away. Which is what you are so clearly trying to do, but it won't work. I am very persistent."

"How much so?"

"Extremely," she smiled.

"So it's a pointless exercise to fight you?"

"Pretty much," she nodded. "You can though, it could be fun."

"Odd sort of fun Granger."

"There are plenty of ways to have fun Draco," she said quickly. The blush returning instantly, flaring across her cheeks. He chucked softly as she leaned down, attempting to hide behind her curls. "I can't believe I said that," she groaned.

"Nothing wrong with being forward, some wizards really go for that."

"I'm going to go," she said, moving off the shelf. "Before I say anything else."

"Hang on Granger," he took her hand as she walked past him. "I wouldn't be adverse to a little fun right now."

She glanced behind them, and turned her eyes back with a smile set. "I think we have time for a little," she moved her arms around his waist stepping to him. With his hands moving into her hair, he pressed his lips against her forehead, moving them down the sides of her face, towards her waiting lips.

He told himself it was just a kiss, a little fun like they said. He tried to remember that, but as she surrounded him, he forgot everything. He forgot that they were in plain sight, that anyone could discover them at any point. One touch, one taste and the rest of the world faded away. He could feel her fingers moving through his hair, her hips pressing against his, her soft curls brushing his neck. Lips parting beneath his, a simple kiss growing into so much more. The shelf was hard against his back, unrelenting, but he moved further into it still. Hermione stepped back slightly, with her hands resting on his shoulders, her tongue darted out and licked her lower lip.

"Fun," he muttered.

"Absolutely."


-

His dormitory was deserted as he sat on his bed later on that day, his books were open in front of him. Thankfully, his classmates had departed fairly rapidly when he entered. He knew how to clear a room, which made studying easier, when he tried at least. It also helped when he had all the books, he'd been through his bag several times, and he still couldn't find his potions book. Going over the next lessons potion beforehand was difficult when you couldn't find the book, he must have left it in the library.

Draco moved off his bed, he would just have to go back to the library and get it. He was crossing the room to the door when it flew open, and a book came flying through the air at him. Ducking just as it passed him by, he looked up at a irate Blaise.

"What the hell mate?!"

Slamming the door behind him, "you tell me."

"What?! You threw the fucking book at me!"

"It was in my bag, it's not mine, might as well return it to it's owner."

Draco shook his head as he stood up, "and the throwing was just added for enjoyment sake I imagine."

"Seemed appropriate, I wanted to throw something."

"At me?"

"Yeah, I planned on actually hitting you with it though."

"Why? I know I've been a right royal sod the last few days, but I thought we were moving past all that crap."

"Oh we were," he said, smiling rather oddly. "I understood perfectly, poor Draco has enough to deal with. I told myself that, so I should just back the fuck up and let him deal with it all. So I did that, you told me no, and I listened. Thinking that maybe, just maybe, when things settled a little, you and I would be, you and I. I just didn't think there was anyone else in the fucking equation."

His stomach dropped to his knees, his heart started beating again twice the normal speed.

"I left the library thinking that, that's what made me so bloody accepting of your decision. Then I discovered two potions books, one was naturally mine, and the other is yours. So being the great friend that I am, I decided to return it. You were studying with Hermione, I knew where to find you. Except, you weren't there. So I thought when I found your stuff, that you were still looking for that bloody book. Figured I'd give you two a hand to find it since you were taking so long, but that's not what I found is it?"

"I can explain it all," he said quickly.

"I'm sure you can mate, I just don't want to fucking hear it. For the last few days all you've done is try to convince me that you don't want a relationship, or anything resembling one. Stupid me believed it."

"I don't, everything I've said to you is the truth. Granger and me, it's not a relationship. It was just a kiss, one kiss."

"See, it didn't look like just one kiss though. She went to you very naturally, you were both so bloody comfortable. It's not the first one is it?"

"No."

"What is it then Draco? You kiss me, then you push me away, all the while getting cosy with Hermione?"

"It's not like that, I don't know what it is, but we aren't cosy."

"Well, to her you are Draco, it's very clear. You'd better sort it out before you screw that up as well."

The door slammed once more behind him as he left, leaving him standing in the middle of the room. His hand shook as he clenched them, he picked up the book and threw it, smashing it into the mirror in the corner. It shattered to the floor, before repairing itself instantly. The pieces moving back into place.

If only everything else worked the same way.


-