Salvation

Trying to Break Walls

Two days after the crazy dinner, things were still strange. Hermione and Harry were talking, but it was full of tension and animosity. They were both too headstrong to be able to deal with each other properly. And frankly, Ron didn't want to have anything to do with any of it.

Hermione didn't want to say anything to upset Harry, but at the same time she didn't feel the need to censor herself because he was having a constant pity party. She should be able to say what she felt without worrying that Harry would have some sort of break down because of it.

Harry wished that she would stop saying things that made him so angry. It was like she always wanted to open some wound he had just spent so much time healing. However, he was more upset that those things were making him angry. He should be able to talk about everything he had gone through without wanting to destroy something in the process.

***

When Harry got home from work, there was an owl outside his window. He was pretty sure he had seen that owl before. Yet if he admitted to himself that he knew that eagle owl, then he knew exactly who the letter was from. When he opened the window and took the letter, he found out he was right.

"Potter,
Basically I just wanted to tell you that I was serious when I said I would help you with that pain potion. It's kind of my thing, potion making, I mean. And if you're in that much of a need of it, I guess I could help you out. It's better than you being addicted to that store bought stuff. Just send him back with a response if you want me to help.
Draco"

Harry was ready to just crumble the letter before something stopped him. If Draco was telling the truth about them being addictive, well he didn't want to be hooked on any sort of drug. And...well Draco was very good at potions and Harry was so terribly awful at them. Sighing, he took out a quill and a piece of parchment.

"Malfoy,
If there is some time we can get together, then sure, I’ll work with you. I would really appreciate your help.
Harry"

After jotting the note down, Harry gave it back to Draco's eagle owl. Harry was pretty sure when he looked in the cage, Draco's owl had nuzzled Hedwig in a way he certainly didn't approve of. He also didn't approve of Hedwig accepting it with a soft cooing noise. Maybe he would have a talking to with Hedwig.

Quickly, the note was given to the owl and he was off. It wasn't long before the owl was back, tapping on the window. He was a little nervous having the two owls in the cage together, but he also didn't want Draco's owl flying around his apartment either. He picked the lesser of the two evils.

"Well, I'm open every day at any time. Tell me when you can get off work; you can come and we'll work at my house."

After a few more owls back and forth it was decided that Harry was going to Draco's house in two days and they were to make enough pain potion to last him for quite some time.

***

When Harry arrived on Draco's door step he was blown away. His house was HUGE! No one in the history of the world should have a house this big. It was completely unnecessary and wonderful at the same time.

He knocked and waited for Draco to answer. "Hey, Potter," Draco said when he opened the door and let him in.

"Malfoy," Harry answered in response.

"Come on in. There's a room down the hall we're going to be working in," Draco said while walking down one of the many openings.

Harry was completely in awe while walking down the house. Everything was decadent and beautiful, but it was something else. He couldn't help but feeling completely cold when he looked around. It was exactly like a museum. He couldn't help but wonder how Draco lived here.

"Does anyone live here with you?" Harry asked without thinking his words through, like always.

Draco paused for a bit and took a deep breath. "Nope," he finally said. "It's just me and Milo - that's my owl."

Again, without thinking, "Did they ever find out about your dad? I mean like who killed him and all?"

There was only a split second reaction from Draco, but Harry caught it. He wanted to slap himself after that. "No, they still don't know." There was something about the way Draco said "they" that made Harry nervous. He couldn't tell what it meant, but he knew it meant something.

"So what happened to your mom?" Harry asked softly without looking quite at him. He figured if Draco was going to reveal this much, why not try to get as much information from his as possible.

It took Draco quite some time for him to answer. Harry was worried they would walk passed the room they were looking for, it took so long. Finally he whispered, "She committed suicide after my dad died. I guess she figured I was old enough to handle myself by now. And she knew she would be facing a life in Azkaban when the Dark Lord failed - so she took the easy way out in her mind."

"I'm sorry," Harry answered and patted Draco on the shoulder. He figured if Draco's going to be open with him, then he would at least be affection with him. He was the one that asked. At that moment, Harry decided he would bring Draco so cookies some time.

"I've gotten used to it," Draco said while pushing the door open to a room full of different vials. It looked like Snape's class from Hogwarts almost exactly. "Here we are," he said in a voice that sounded a lot more like the old Draco.

They started getting things out and Draco was lighting the fire while telling Harry what to cut up. When they had gotten things going and had been working for a bit, Draco turned to Harry and said simply, "You suck at potions, Potter."

"You don't need to tell me twice," Harry replied from the corner Draco had made him sit in as to not hurt himself.

***

It wasn't long before the two were done with the potion and almost rolling in laughter thinking of the time in their third year when Hermione had slapped Draco right across the face. Of course at the time, Draco wasn't very pleased. But to think about it now lying on the floor with his used-to-be enemy, it was simply hilarious.

"She was so pissed," Draco said while wiping a tear from his eye.

"I'm glad she had you to take it out on instead of me and Ron," Harry said in reply. He wasn't going to say sorry for the incident – Draco really had deserved it after all.

They both fell in a peaceful quiet, thinking of the "good old days" before everything went crazy. Not to say that Harry hadn't had it tough before hand, and Draco too for that matter. They were just thinking of the days before they realized how rough they had it.

"So how does it feel to not be hunted any more?" Draco asked while looking up to see Harry's reaction.

Doing exactly what Draco expected, Harry stilled slightly and then ruffled his hair. He looked more than uncomfortable. "Merlin, what time is it? I've really gotta get going," was Harry’s response.

Draco was going to just let him go. But when Harry had reached the door, he changed his mind. "Why can't you take all those walls around you down?" Draco asked while standing up. If Harry was going to run for it, Draco was going to catch him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Harry huffed.

"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about," Draco answered calmly while stepping closer.

"No, I don't," Harry said bluntly, balling his hands into fists.

"Look, I think you're the only one that can understand how I feel and I'm the only one that can understand how you feel. Can't you see it? We can help each other," Draco pleaded.

"I don't need help," Harry answered stubbornly.

"That's not what I think." Draco was getting closer and Harry was backing away. He fell right into Draco's plan because now there was a body blocking the door from Harry.

"I don't give a damn what you think."

"I don't think it's normal that you have a headache every waking moment of the day. I bet you even have them at night, you just don't know it. I don't think it's normal that you don't keep yourself up any more. You never looked spectacular before, but now you just look down right pathetic. And you were always thin, but now it's to a point of being scary. It's not normal that you haven't dated for three years even though girls have been throwing themselves at you. You need help." Draco said everything very calmly and slowly so Harry could sink it all in.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." Harry's response was quite weak in feeling and even less believable.

"Hermione says you scream at night – that is, when you actually do sleep. She says you're completely detached from the world now. You want nothing to do with anything and when you do, it's on overdrive. And she says you're always jumpy, like you think someone is going to attack you at any minute. I looked it up, Harry." Draco felt that saying Harry's name would make it more personal. It worked. "It's called post-traumatic stress disorder, what you have. It is a big deal."

Avoiding almost every single word Draco had just said, Harry decided to respond with, "Why'd she tell you all this?" Of all the people in the world for Hermione to tell Harry's secrets to, she chose Draco Malfoy? She had gone completely mental! And he wasn't sure how much he would want to talk to her any more.

"She wanted me to help you." Draco had this voice Muggle psychiatrists had. It was bothering and soothing Harry at the same time.

"Why you?" Harry asked flatly.

"I spend all day long studying. She knew it would be easy enough for me to look it up and see if I could help out. And she knew I would do it for her."

Crossing his arms and resisting the urge to stomp his feet, Harry asked, "Did you tell her what you found out about me then?"

Draco sighed. At least he was calmer than he thought he would be. There wasn't any blood shed just yet. "No, I thought I'd tell you before I told her. It's your life, not hers. It's your choice if you want help or not."

"And how do you know so much about it? Why are you suddenly some expert on it?" Harry demanded.

"Because I have it too," Draco whispered.