Occultus Intus Vos

Chapter: Chapter 5 - Confessions of a Spy

Author: Bek Allen

~*~*~*~

It was a while before Hermione’s tears subsided to sniffles and whimpers; a glance over her shoulder proved to Severus that they’d been sitting this way for the better part of two hours.

He froze his movements when she stiffened in his arms. “Hermione.”

“I’m dreadfully sorry, Professor; I’m not sure what came over me.” She avoided his gaze as she made to move from his lap.

His arms tightened around her waist.

“Severus, let me go.” Her voice wavered ever so slightly.

“No.” He slid one hand from around her waist and up to her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You have said all that you wanted; now you are going to listen to me.” She opened her mouth to speak but his fingers moved over her lips, silencing her before she could do more than draw in a breath.

“These past twelve months, I have been even more of a miserable git – I think the fact that Hufflepuff is in the lead for the house cup is testament to that – than I was when we were student and teacher.

“I refuse to let you leave Hogwarts,” he said, eyeing her as her gaze darkened. “We have hurt each other inexplicably, I am sure. However, I care far too much for you to leave my life permanently.” He cupped her cheek, his long fingers dancing across her skin. “I love you.”

Her eyes widened at his confession. Even when they’d been together he’d never told her that.

“You silly girl,” he said, the corners of his mouth twitched in a smile. “Did you honestly think that a card spouting cruel words – and believe me, they were cruel – that I have heard countless times before, could affect me so if I didn’t feel any other way?” He watched her closely, his stygian gaze boring into her. “To use your own words, my heart was shattered when I thought that was what you truly believed of me.”

Her eyes narrowed, and she opened her mouth to speak but Severus continued on.

“I have been an old fool. After you returned from St. Mungo’s – where, contrary to popular opinion I did visit you, you just happened to be sleeping at the time – I thought it best for both of us if I kept my distance. I believe the old adage is ‘Once bitten, twice shy.’ You had already hurt me; I wasn’t going to allow that to happen again.

“And then we had that… argument… at Easter.” His gaze turned sad. “It further cemented my decision to keep as far away from you as I could.”

Hermione’s heart clenched, and she reached up to stroke his cheek, “I don’t want us to keep hurting each other, Severus; you’ve made a good argument, but I’m afraid my mind is made up. I’m sorry.” She reached up and pressed her lips to his forehead before extracting herself from his arms and moving away.

He jumped up from the couch and followed her to the fireplace. Gripping her shoulders, he spun her around to face him. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me, Hermione. Tell me that I’m an old fool and you hate me and we’ll never speak of this again.” His voice was like velvet covered steel, hard yet enticing, challenging her to lie, not just to him, but to herself as well.

“Severus, please.” Her tone was pleading.

“Tell me and I will leave you alone for good.” His gaze locked with hers and he knew he had her trapped. The proverbial rock and hard place – lie to them both or deal with an old, set-in-his-ways Potions master.

“Severus…”

He lowered his head, his lips a hair’s breadth away from hers. His warm, coffee-scented breath washed over her cheek. “Tell me to stop and I shall go back up to the room I was Portkeyed to and we’ll go our separate ways.” His hands slipped down her arms to grip her waist, pulling her flush against his body. “Stop me, Hermione, and you’ll never see or hear from me again.” He pressed his lips to hers, softly at first, barely a grazing of flesh against flesh.

When her own hands wound their way through his hair, he deepened the kiss, his tongue trailing across the seam of her lips, begging entrance to the warm cavern of her mouth that he’d denied himself for the last year.

~*~*~*~

Hermione was the first to break away, her chest heaving as she tried to suck in great gulps of air. “Sev… Severus,” she gasped, trying to slow the erratic beating of her heart. A tiny moan passed her lips as his head lowered to that sensitive spot just below her ear. “Would…” she sighed and gently pushed at his shoulders. “Would you please listen to me for a moment?” When he continued to nip and suck at the column of her throat, she growled, “Honestly, Severus!” A firm shove to his chest placed enough distance between that that she was able to duck out from his embrace and turn to face him.

His dark gaze traveled over her, taking in her kiss-swollen lips and wide cinnamon eyes before moving down to take in her heaving chest and the hands placed firmly on her ample hips. “You have my undivided attention.” When he spoke, he caught her glare and had to bite back the smirk that threatened to take over; schooling his features into an impassive mask; even in a fit of pique she was still as tempting as ever.

“Good,” she said, lifting her chin before continuing on. “You can not sway me with sweet words and false promises. This is not some… some…” Words failed her for a moment as she caught the flicker of annoyance in his eyes. “Not some last-second shag between ex-lovers. You’re either in this for the long haul or not at all. I won’t let my heart get broken again… not by you or anyone else, for that matter.”

“Are you giving me an ultimatum?” Severus’ voice was low, bordering on deadly, a tone she hadn’t heard since the night before the final battle with Voldemort.

“No, Severus, I’m asking you to make sure you know what you want.” She stepped forward and cupped his cheek. “The six months we shared were some of the happiest times in my life; I want to make sure that, in another six months, we will still be on speaking terms should this happen again.”

He tilted his head, pressing his cheek against the palm of her hand. “Foolish woman,” he breathed, his eyes darkening with desire. “I am far more certain that this is what I want. Whilst I cannot promise you sonnets and sweet words every waking moment, nor can I promise that we will not argue, for you are a most obstinate and insufferable woman, I can promise you that you have… engaged… me, heart, mind and soul.”

A shiver worked its way up her spine as his warm breath washed over her hand, tickling the skin and awakening the nerves. She audibly gulped as he moved his head just enough to press his lips to the tip of her thumb before engulfing the digit in his hot mouth. They would never be able to relate which of them moved first, whether it was Severus who closed the gap between them or Hermione. They came together in a clashing of teeth and tongues and lips, emotions long denied overwhelming them and taking control. Hands tangled in hair, fingers massaged scalps and the silence of the room was broken only by soft whispers of breath. Finally, they pulled apart, sucking in great gasps of oxygen, Hermione’s head resting on Severus’ shoulder, her arms wrapped around his waist.

“I’ve missed you terribly,” Severus murmured into her temple. “Pomona Sprout is a wonderful and intelligent woman, but even she cannot keep up with me for long before her mind wanders to mundane things such as which fertilizer is better for her Venomous Tentacular.”

A breathy chuckle escaped Hermione’s throat. “Hagrid is much the same as he ever was whilst I was growing up. I’ve hardly had a decent conversation in months.”

Stepping back, Severus held her at arms length, eyeing her carefully. “We should, perhaps, discuss this… relationship… a little more. Perhaps over some tea?”

Hermione nodded as she wrapped her arm through his extended elbow as she led the way to the kitchen.

~*~*~*~

Albus Dumbledore smiled as he popped another lemon drop into his mouth, his blue eyes twinkling with merriment.

“She cried for a while longer, but last I left them, they were snogging in front of the mantle.”

“Splendid, splendid,” Dumbledore said, his beard twitching as his mouth curved up in a smile. “Are you quite sure they didn’t see you?”

“They had eyes only for each other.” The portrait of a very young Albus Dumbledore beamed back at his older-self. “Did she really hand in a form of resignation?”

Albus held up the piece of parchment. “She most certainly did,” he replied. “Though, I do believe that come Monday morning she will be asking for it to be ignored.”

“Surely you’re not going to keep it?” the younger Albus asked, eyes wide.

Dumbledore shot himself a look that clearly stated ‘Old? Yes. Foolish? Not in a million years.’

“I see,” the younger wizard said, having the good graces to look sheepish.

“Yes,” Dumbledore smirked, “I do believe that come Monday morning, Professor Granger will not be so disappointed that Fawkes accidentally fell from his perch onto the desk on a burning day.”

Young Albus raised an eyebrow slightly. “Fawkes’ burning day was yesterday; I saw it myself when I came to have tea with Dilys.”

“Ahh, but Professor Granger doesn’t know that.” Dumbledore tapped the side of his nose, winking at his portrait-self.

Young Albus shrugged and smiled. “Well, I must be off. One of them will eventually notice that I’m not where I should be.”

“Just remember to stay still should they wander back into the library.”

Young Albus nodded before slipping out of the small portrait frame that adorned Dumbledore’s desk and disappearing altogether.

Turning away from the portrait, Dumbledore removed his wand from the sleeve of his robe and prodded Hermione’s letter of resignation, humming happily to himself as it went up in a quick burst of flames.