Light on the Dark Side of Me

Title: Light on the Dark Side of Me
Author: cocoa-snape
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry Potter belongs exclusively to JKR...she is a goddess. I am making no money from this.


The Light on the Dark Side of Me
Chapter 5: Snape’s welcoming introduction

Harry had been at Grimmauld Place for two days. He was looking forward to spending two weeks with the Weasleys, and it was certainly nice to leave Privet Drive for the last time. Harry smiled at the fact that he knew he never would have to go back there again. The last three weeks had actually been the best he had ever had at the Dursleys. They left him completely alone. Granted he was bored, but being left alone in his room was certainly a good thing.

Harry heard the kitchen door open and watched as people began filing out. Another Order meeting he wasn’t privy to. Dumbledore walked up to Harry and asked to see him in the drawing room.

“Harry, how are you my boy?”

“I’m fine, sir.”

“How was your time with you relatives?”

“Boring, sir, but fine.”

“No problems then?” Dumbledore asked curiously.

Harry was worried now. Did Snape say something to him? “No sir.”

“Harry I wanted to tell you that Professor Snape has viewed your memory, and restore the balance of magic between the two of you.”

“Oh.” He had said something! That git!

Dumbledore seemed to read Harry’s mind. “He didn’t tell me anything Harry if you are worried. Also, I should tell you that Professor Snape just got around to viewing the memory last night. He was quite busy with work and hadn’t gotten around to it until then. It seemed important to him that you know that.”

Harry stared back in confusion.

“Is there something you wish to tell me Harry?”

“No Professor.”

“Very well then. I shall see you in just under two weeks. Goodbye Harry.”


--------------------------------------------


Harry had had a great two weeks with the Weasleys. Yesterday had been his birthday and he had had a great party. Even Hermione came up for the day with her parents. And now he was leaving. Even though he loved Hogwarts, he was not keen on the idea of going back there a month before the term began – with no one around except the faculty. And the idea that he would be spending most of his time with Snape wasn’t too appealing either. Sure he had had a crush on the man – but it wasn’t the same anymore. Before he could dream – and he knew they were wild dreams – but he could at least dream that Snape felt something for him as well. But Snape had seen the memory now. And there was certainly no way Snape would ever be interested in him now. He only hoped Snape wouldn’t berate him for being so helpless and pathetic in the presence of his Muggle relatives.

Harry’s thoughts were interrupted by Ginny who entered the drawing room. They had become great friends last year. Besides Hermione, Harry had had no luck with having girl_friends...they all wanted to be his girlfriends. But Ginny was different, she had been seeing Dean quite seriously for years now.

“What are you doing in here all by yourself?”

“Just thinking.”

“Are you depressed about leaving? Or are you depressed about having lessons with Snape for a month?” Ginny asked smiling.

“Both. It’s going to suck having Snape on my back for a month. The man hates me.”

“Well at least you’ll be at Hogwarts. You know you love it there.”

“Yeah I guess.”

“I can tell there’s something else bothering you...but I’m not going to pry. I’m going to miss you, Harry.”

“Thank Ginny. Me too.”

Ginny leaned over and gave Harry a hug.

“It’s going to be alright Harry,” she whispered in his ear, still holding him tightly.

Just as she was whispering those words to him, Harry noticed someone standing by the door.

“Must I always be witness to your nauseating love displays, Potter?” Snape asked, his voice brimming with annoyance. “Miss Weasley...I really thought you had better taste. Apparently I was wrong. Potter, we’re leaving in 10 minutes. Get ready and don’t dawdle.”

.
.
.
.
Harry had dragged his suitcase down to the kitchen and began his goodbyes.

Glancing over at Snape, Ron gave Harry a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry mate. Make sure you watch your back – try not to be alone with him.”

“Yeah, that’ll really be practical seeing as I’m going to be having lessons with him for a month!”

“Well at least you’re going back to Hogwarts. It could be worse. You could be going back to Surrey.”

Snape apparently overheard and jumped on their conversation, a growing fury in his voice, “Those Muggle relatives of yours didn’t treat you well this summer, Potter?”

Harry knew exactly what Snape was driving at. He had to explain without saying anything obvious. Ron seemed incredulous that Snape was even asking.

“Actually, sir, my summer was fine. I basically spent the whole three weeks in my room alone. My relatives avoided me completely,” Harry said.

Snape was studying Harry closely, as if trying to decide if he was telling the truth. Apparently satisfied, he said firmly: “Well hurry up with your sappy goodbyes. I don’t have all day.”


--------------------------------------------


They flooed directly to Snape’s office. The surroundings made Harry nervous – he’d only ever been in Snape’s office for detentions before. Snape broke the silence, “I’ll give you an hour to get yourself settled in Gryffindor tower. I expect you to be back here by then so we can begin.”

“We’re starting today?” Harry asked surprised.

“Of course. I see you’re already daunted by the prospect of hard work. Perhaps this arrangement is going to end before it begins. I do not tolerate laziness, Potter,” he sneered.

“I didn’t mean...Never mind. I’ll see you in an hour.”
.
.
.
.
When Harry returned, he spotted Dumbledore’s pensieve sitting on Snape’s desk. Snape could sense Harry’s discomfort and decided that now was certainly not the best time to broach the topic of his memory.

“Before we begin, I want to make it clear that I am doing this as a favor to the Headmaster and for the purposes of defeating the Dark Lord. I am most certainly not doing it for you. Is that understood?”

“Perfectly sir,” Harry said with a smile. Snape would have never believed him, but his words were comforting. He was worried that Snape would treat him differently after having viewed his memory; the last thing he wanted was pity. He should have known that Snape would do nothing of the sort. If there was one thing he could always count on Severus Snape to do, it was to never give him special treatment for being different. He never cared that Harry was the Boy-Who-Lived, the Parselmouth, or the prophesized Savior of the Wizarding World. He was never more grateful than now.

“Wipe that stupid smirk off your face, Potter, and listen carefully. As I said, these lessons are supposed to make it harder for the Dark Lord to kill you, which he will no doubt, eventually do. If you have any hope of survival, however, you will do as I say. Your comfort level with these lessons is meaningless to me.”

“Big surprise there,” Harry mumbled.

“No doubt. We will be learning about dark magic and plunging deeper into Occlumency than you have ever before, and I cannot have you whining about me glimpsing your memories of snogging with your latest girlfriend or some such thing – the Dark Lord will certainly not allow that luxury. More on that another time, but for now if you feel the need to complain in any capacity, it should not be to me. If you want to abandon these lessons, by all means do so – I daresay you will be doing me a favor. I’m sure that our newest DADA twit Richards would be quite qualified to teach you all about pixies. Is that clear?”

“Yes sir.”

“Now regarding Occlumency—”

“Professor may I ask a question?”

Snape sighed, “Very well, but don’t make a habit of it.”

“Why isn’t Professor Dumbledore teaching me Occlumency? Clearly you don’t want to be doing this.”

“I believe the Headmaster derives some sort of twisted enjoyment out of my suffering, particularly when it involves ridiculous Gryffindors such as yourself. That notwithstanding, I’m sure he has his reasons. Perhaps he is still worried about the Dark Lord using you as a conduit to him. Personally, I believe there is yet another reason. I have no doubt that he is aware that he would not be the best teacher for you. Albus Dumbledore is a great wizard, but he would without a doubt coddle you to no end. I can only imagine him, bending over your limp body on the floor, worrying about your well-being.”

“And you don’t care?”

“Precisely. You are paying attention. What a treat for me, Potter,” Snape said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Now, although I do not anticipate you to actually succeed as a true Occlumens given your pathetic displays in your fifth year,” Snape said, ignoring Harry’s angry glare, “I do expect you to not make a complete fool out of yourself and to at least try to learn something. Is that asking too much?”

Harry was incensed. “I was trying.”

Snape snorted, “A pity then. Now, since these lessons are outside the purview of the normal Hogwarts curriculum, I, and I alone, am in complete control of them. I expect you to listen and do everything I tell you and not question my orders every five minutes. Is that understood?”

“Yes.”

Snape’s voice lowered to a soft whisper, “Your underdeveloped mind cannot possibly comprehend the magnitude of what I am prepared to teach you if you indeed prove as capable as the Headmaster seems to think you are. Now follow me.”

Snape indicated the door directly opposite his desk, “As you know, that is my workroom and laboratory. This door here,” Snape said, pointing to the large oak door at the far end of the room, “is the entrance to my private quarters.” Harry followed as Snape made his way through this door. It was a sitting room. The room was austere, but looked quite comfortable. Even more surprising, the color black was nowhere to be found – light and dark shades of brown dominated. A large dark leather brown chair and sofa were arranged around a small coffee table in front of the large hearth. Staring at it, Harry realized how unnaturally cold it was in the dungeons when he thought of starting a fire (in August!). There was a medium sized table with two chairs on the other size of the room. The walls were lined with shelves that were crowded with a variety of magic artifacts and antiques, including old and unique potions bottles. Snape pointed to the door at the back of the room.

“That door leads to my bedroom. It is, along with my workroom, off limits to you under penalty of death, unless given express permission otherwise. I assure you that I do not say that in jest, Potter.”

Snape then moved behind the table. “Potter, come here.” Harry moved behind the table as well, facing the empty wall as Snape was. “Do you see anything?”

Harry looked at the wall. Was he supposed to see something?

“No sir. Am I supposed to?”

“Of course you’re supposed to, foolish boy. Would I ask you to stare at nothing? Use your magic and find it.”

Harry moved his hand towards the wall and he felt it immediately. The magic was strong here. He concentrated on its form. Soon, another door had appeared and Harry reached for the handle. When he opened it, he gasped. Harry was standing inside Snape’s personal library. The room itself was quite small, perhaps five feet square. But as Harry looked up he was surprised that there appeared to be no ceiling – the books seemed to stretch up infinitely. There had to be at least ten levels. Dumbledore wasn’t kidding. Harry couldn’t even imagine how many books Snape must own.

“This is your library?” Harry asked in awe.

“Quite the astute observation, Potter. None of these books may leave my quarters. Some of them are too dangerous to be allowed outside this room, others are too valuable for me to trust you with them. As such, you will be doing most of your reading here. I have already adjusted the wards on my quarters to allow you entrance. You are free to read in my sitting room. I have already taken the liberty of pulling a few books out for you to start with.” Snape pointed to the table in his sitting room, which had about 20 books on it. He reached for one in particular, entitled Occlumency: The Theory Behind the Ancient Magic.

“We will be starting your Occlumency lessons in three days time. I expect you to have read this book by then. I have decided to introduce the theory to you – perhaps this will improve your chances for success. I believe that a thorough understanding of the theory is warranted in your case, since you seem to possess no innate magical ability in this area,” Snape said with a smirk.

“Do you have to keep saying that?” Harry snapped.

“Yes. Now here is the book. This one you may take out with you if you like. All the others will remain here. For tonight you may begin reading this one.” Snape handed a book entitled Dark Arts: A History.

“Why would I need a book about the Dark Arts?” Harry asked, surprise in his eyes.

Snape snorted, “How can you possibly expect to defend against something which you know nothing about? Really Potter! Sometimes I wonder if you have a brain at all.” Snape ignored Harry’s outraged expression. “You must study the Dark Arts to learn how best to defend against them.”

“Does Dumbledore know you’re going to be teaching me this?” Harry asked skeptically.

Snape looked annoyed. “Were you not listening to me earlier? I am in control of what I teach you. Do not question me. But since this is the first day, I shall say that the Headmaster has the fullest confidence in me.”

Harry noticed that that didn’t answer his question.

“Now, get to work.”

Harry eyed some of the other books on the table. An Introduction to the Dark Arts, A Thorough Introduction to Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Is There Really a Defense Against the Dark Arts? Harry wondered idly what that meant and he reached for the book.

“That book is out of your league at this time Potter. It would read as gibberish to you at this time. Start with the one I gave you,” Snape said and he moved to sit at his desk in his office where he began reading himself.

Harry settled himself on the couch in the sitting room and began reading. He was forced to admit that the reading was quite interesting. After a few hours, Snape’s voice roused him from the book.

“It’s late Potter. You may go. How was the book?”

“Fascinating sir.”

“Yes, I thought you might think so,” Snape said, a strange smirk on his face. “Never fear, not all your reading will hold your attention as well. We wouldn’t want our Quidditch star developing a love for books now would we? What would your fans say if your Seeking abilities suffered?” Snape asked mockingly.

Harry didn’t even bother to reply. He was so sick of Snape’s insults by now. How many was that for the day? Why did he have to do that all the time? This was going to be a long month, Harry thought.

Harry started towards the door, but was stopped by Snape’s voice, “Oh and Potter...you may retrieve your memory now.”

Harry suddenly felt like he was going to be sick. He moved quickly towards the pensieve, accioed the memory and placed the tip of his wand to his temple, the memory reinserting itself. He wanted to run from the room, but he didn’t want Snape to notice the sign of weakness. He determinedly moved at a normal pace. He was holding his breath, waiting for the snarky comment from Snape, the biting sarcasm he knew so well, the nastiness he had been the brunt of all day. To his surprise and relief, it never came.

Instead, a genuinely concerned Snape asked: “Mr. Potter, is there something you wish to discuss with me?”

Harry looked up at Snape, searching for a glint, a gleam of something nasty. He was surprised that he did not find it.

“No, sir. Thank you.”

“Off you go then.”

-----------------------------------
A/N: Thanks to everyone for your reviews, particularly Crowley for the specific comments - these are always the most helpful!
The next chapter is entitled: Snape’s foolish wand waving (and this isn't a metaphor!)